A/N: Warning: Mentions of implied rape and violence.
Ben felt a little queasy with anxiety. She hated him so much, surely her next move would be to tell Karl or David about this incident. And what would their reaction be? David would probably send him home on the private plane with a string of dire threats; Karl… who knew what Karl would do?
Then he realised her expression was one of pure relief.
"No" he said evenly, "I'm not Stefan. My name is Benjamin Chiltern, and…"
He told her everything, including Stefan's illness. She did not gloat, but rather just nodded calmly.
Then, before she could restrain herself, tears came into her eyes.
"Then I can be beside you without fear, Benjamin."
He suddenly understood.
"Oh my God… he was cruel to you, wasn't he?"
He held her hands as Sara told him about Stefan's treatment of her.
"Stefan could be so charming in public, but devious and cruel when we were alone together even when we were children. Ever since I can remember, he would nip or punch me. He would say to me: "Come here, I won't hurt you" and then he'd punch me – never my face, where it would show, or pull my hair until I had tears in my eyes."
"I'm so sorry…"
"He would tell me that if I ever let my family, or the servants, know what he'd done, the punishments would be worse. You can imagine my horror when my parents told me we were to be betrothed. I found out that he preferred to sleep with men rather than women, and I swear I never condemned him for that; it was just his cruelty that I loathed and feared. It wasn't just violence. He ripped my favourite books apart, and I had to pretend that I had lost them. I had a little canary that I loved; it amused him to wring its neck one day. I had to tell my parents the cat had eaten it. Because the cat and bird had been kept apart, they knew I was lying and they thought I'd been careless and let it fly free. All the time I could hear his voice in my ears, saying "Tell anybody and there will be twice the pain, twice the destruction, next time. And so the time came for him to go to study in America. I hoped he would never return, but he was back safe and sound in time for our betrothal party. He found a private room and 'punished' me. At the party I had to dance with a back covered in bruises… there are several occasions for a man to hold a lady's back during our dances. Then he made me a promise, Benjamin. He said "You won't know what real pain is until we're married, Sara."
She broke off, shaking, as she looked at Ben.
"You're crying… for me?"
He held out his arms to her and she buried her head in his chest as they both wept for her suffering. Then he led her over to the washbasin and washed her face, his movements deft and gentle. Then he led her back to the bed, laughing shakily.
"All my training at Prince School went down the pan there, didn't it, sweetheart?"
She smiled at him and there was a warmth in her face he'd not seen before.
"It was compassion that caught you off guard, Benjamin who is not Stefan. That's how I came to realise you were not my hated fiancé. But I, unfortunately, know exactly how Stefan behaves in public and I shall teach you how to be him. But when we are alone together you shall be Benjamin."
"Ben. Please call me Ben."
"Ah, I like this, Ben."
One thing still tormented him.
"You must hate to look at me" he sighed.
"But no, Ben. Stefan was always handsome – just rotten to the core inside. But with you I have the handsome and kind man Stefan could have been. I think I shall be very happy now, Ben."
He suddenly took her hands and held them to his chest.
"I swear that I will never do a thing to make you feel pain or fear as long as I am with you" he told her.
She smiled.
"Poor Ben, you were so kind to me and I have been so cold to you. And I believe you care for me."
"Yes, I do" he replied simply.
"I cannot pretend I am in love with you, Ben. But I like you very much."
"And now you really can sleep without fear", he told her.
He lay beside her once more and was convinced that she felt confident beside him when she almost shyly laid her head on his chest. He held her until he knew she was sleeping, stroking her face or hair until he too drifted off.
In the morning he was rewarded as she stroked his face and whispered:
"Good morning, Ben who is not Stefan. Prince School is beginning!"
His immediate future looked almost perfect.
For Ethan, there were highs and lows. He had been warned by the doctors that it could take months after an operation like his to locate any problems. Ethan worried constantly that there was an ugly surprise waiting round the corner, and being Ethan, took his worries out on Cal although he tried to be on his best behaviour when it was Sue's day to look after him, as it was on this particular day.
"Supposing they find something though, Cal? I don't want to find I've got to go through all this again."
"Why would you think you have to? Those were standard warnings that the doctor gave you. It doesn't mean they'll happen.
"Oh just bugger off to your gym."
The phone rang. Cal sighed and answered it.
"Oh… that's a shame, Sue, but it can't be helped. Hopefully we'll see you next time. No, please don't worry. Bye for now, and get well soon."
Ethan had been totally indifferent to whether Sue visited or not that day, but now his lower lip was out.
"I wanted to see Sue."
"Yeah, well, I needed to see her coming to look after you. I was due to go and help with the mini bus. I hate letting them down but I can't leave you."
"Why not? I can get to the toilet, it just takes me longer. I can phone for a take-away for lunch."
"Oh no you can't. You had one yesterday. You need healthy food, little brother. Now stop worrying. I'll phone the Health Advisor…"
"I want to go out" Ethan wheedled.
"Okay, okay, but I have to phone first. It's getting late."
"I want to go to the gym. I want to spy on you at work; it'll cheer me up."
Cal sighed.
"Not possible."
"Possible" argued Ethan, "Go on, Cal, you've got me to the car before. You've said there's room on the mini bus and there are people who go who are less mobile than I am."
His bad mood forgotten, Ethan fluttered his eyelashes.
"Go on, Cal, take me out."
Cal was used to these mood swings and actually thought this was quite a positive plan.
"Come on then, go and get your teeth brushed; I have to be out in ten minutes if you're coming because you'll need to be made comfortable."
Ethan grinned to himself. Since his movements had been restricted, days out, when he was having a relatively pain-free day, were a treat.
Cal helped Ethan from the car and into the small office.
"Hi Mark; I hope this is okay – Ethan's carer couldn't come today. Could he come along just to watch?"
"No problem. We can make you comfortable on the bus and at the gym, Ethan, and the session will only be for around an hour so you'll not be around for too long."
"Okay" Ethan smiled, on his best behaviour because of the unexpected day out.
"Ooh, who's this? New member?" Denise's eyes were gleeful.
"My brother. He has a back injury so please don't anybody jolt him."
"Ooh as if! What's his name?" Denise asked Cal.
Ethan's face clouded a little.
"My name's Ethan; I can talk for myself."
"Good to meet you, Ethan" Stan answered quickly before Denise could yell anything else that might upset the newcomer.
Cal settled Ethan into his seat, made sure the belt was fastened as loosely as the law would allow, and grinned round.
"Off we go, then, people!"
"I'll help him down!" Denise butted in when they reached the carpark.
"Sorry Denise, I have to do it. A wrong move could harm him" Cal forestalled her.
"If you sit here, Ethan, you'll be able to watch everybody."
Sophia didn't even need to ask Cal how to make Ethan comfortable; she seated him naturally.
"Our Megan must have found out you were coming, Ethan, she's like a homing pigeon where new men are concerned."
"Your Megan?" Cal asked, hoping he wasn't sounding too eager.
"My sister. You met her last week."
Sister eh? Cal's day was getting better by the minute.