This is just a short chapter because I haven't had time to write the rest of it yet. Hopefully I can figure out what I want to happen and write the next few chapters faster than the last few... Thanks for pushing me to actually write this chapter though.
I'm standing here, hating every ounce of myself.
You seriously couldn't just say it!? Not even once? Not even when she gave you more than too many chances to say it?
Face it, Louis. You messed up. You failed. It's done. It's over. She's with Ethan now. She's gone.
I clench my fists. I don't care about whether Eddie or James or Crash or anyone sees me crying anymore.
I just want to dig a whole so deep I can't get out of it. I want to be gone, to not have to deal with this anymore, to be dead.
Ugh… Louis, listen to yourself! You're so melodramatic and selfish! I hate you. I can't stand being you. Stop crying! You told her to go with him! Stop crying!
A small voice asks from behind me, "Louis?"
"Go away!" I say, not bothering to check who it is. I slump to the ground and bury my face behind my arms and knees.
I feel James, Eddie, and Crash sit down next to me cautiously.
"Now why would we do that?" James asks with his weird accent. I try not to grin.
"Seriously, leave me alone!" I scream into my crossed arms.
"Why?" Crash and Eddie ask together.
"Ethan showed up before I could tell her!" I sob, "I don't want to talk to you guys right now."
"Louis…" James puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Shut up!" I whip my head up and scream at James. "If you'd have just left Peaches and me alone, none of this would have happened!"
James yanks his hand off of me, frightened. He says remorsefully, "I-I'm sorry… I… w-we just wanted to help…" His face reddens with guilt as I stare at him irately.
"This isn't his fault, Louis." Crash says, defending James. He's right, and I know he's right, but I keep staring down James indignantly, hoping it will somehow help while knowing that it's only making things worse.
"This isn't your fault, either." He adds. I look up in disbelief.
"Yes, it is my fault!" I shout at them, "I'm the one who took too long! I'm the one who couldn't tell her! I'm the idiot who thought something might work out for a change!"
"Oh shut it already, Louis!" Eddie finally decides to talk. "You don't believe that, and neither do I. You love her, and you show it every day. You've proved to Peaches countless times that you love her more than anything else in this world. What makes you think that you have to say 'I love you.' for her to know that you do!?"
I pause…
What the heck is wrong with you? None of them did anything wrong; you're just being a jerk because you're sad. They're trying to make you happy. Now stop being a dick and let them.
"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry… It's just… I've lost her." I say, crying more than I can ever remember crying before. "You guys are just trying to be nice… and I'm an asshole…"
"We're only returning the favor, Louis." James says sweetly.
"What have I ever done for any of you?" I sob.
"Are you kidding!?" Crash asks in disbelief. "Did we not just spend five minutes watching my brother make out with his boyfriend? The boyfriend you set him up with? Did I not just see Peaches walking away wearing a beautiful necklace that she's refused to take off for the past six days? The necklace you made her!? Am I not currently sitting next to a friend I thought I'd lost because I said something heartless!? Remind me who it was that helped us make up. Remind me who it was that warned us all about the sabers on this island. Remind me who it is that wakes up every morning and puts up with the teasing and, quite frankly, bullying I put him through. Remind me who it is that saved Peaches on that boat!"
I look at him blankly, not knowing what to say. James hugs me, a bit to Eddie's dismay. I grin internally and hug him back.
"I'll give you a hint," he continues, "It's not Ethan. It's you, Louis. You've done so much more for us than you can even imagine. Eddie and me, we may act stupid, but we notice enough to know that you're part of what makes this herd great."
"You may not have it in that big heart of yours to say 'I love you.'." Eddie says, "But we can all feel it."
"And we love you, too, Louis." James adds. "So can I please stop hugging you now? Your spines kind'a hurt… a lot…" I let him go, and he shakes his hands in pain. We all laugh.
"Guys." I say, and they all look at me. "No matter what, the next time I see Peaches, I'm telling her."
"Promise?" James asks mechanically.
I don't answer. I thought I heard something just as he started to ask.
I thought I heard something swinging this way through the trees.
Sorry it takes me so long to update this thing, but I am very happy that there are people out there who enjoy what I write enough to shout at me hysterically for more. This chapter's song is "I Miss You" by blink-182.