It's over the limit. Sorry. MGM owns SGA…I do not.

John's right index finger continued to tap the trigger guard of his P-90 while he tried to gauge just how much trouble he'd get in for shooting McKay. Not fatally, of course, just a little flesh wound on a part of his body that didn't house anything important. In a brief moment of morbid curiosity, John wondered just how important the pinky toe was to human functionality.

Two hours earlier they'd arrived at the DHD on P3M-395 after meeting with the village elders and fixing their shield generator to find the device malfunctioning. Rodney immediately started blabbering about 'Damn Ancients' and 'Stupid Pegasus' as he worked, pausing only long enough to rummage for tools and grab a quick bite of a Power Bar… or two.

And he'd been getting on his nerves ever since. And not just his nerves either. Teyla had that look in her brown eyes, the look that said that she was valiantly remembering each and every time Rodney had endeared himself to her over the years just to keep from kicking his ass into oblivion. Ronon had only lasted five minutes before stomping off and taking up a lookout position near the tree line and out of ear shot of Rodney's ramblings.

"Do either of you have a power bar or anything?"

John spared enough of a glance towards Teyla to see the tail end of an eye roll and looked down to the top of Rodney's head. He was still crouched down working more inside the DHD than outside of it. "No, Rodney," he replied a moment later and with only the barest hint of frustration. "But the sooner you hurry up and fix the DHD and stop worrying about your stomach, then the sooner you can get home and dig into a nice plate of whatever the hell it is you want."

There was silence for a moment, and then Rodney slowly turned his head so that he could look at Sheppard. "Did you say something?" He turned back towards the open DHD before he could catch the glare from Sheppard and the telltale flex of his finger around the trigger of his weapon. "I think I've figured out…"

Rodney fell silent for a moment and wiggled his fingers in a move that reminded John of Indiana Jones as he was about to snatch that ugly ass statue from its perch, then reached in and did…something.

There was a shout of triumph from Rodney, as well as two eerily identical sighs of relief from John and Teyla as the DHD glowed back to life. By the time Rodney got up and pressed the first panel Ronon was beside Teyla waiting for the gate to come to life.

John waited for the event horizon to form, then abandoned what had become a tried and true method of departure- Rodney, followed by Teyla, Ronon and himself- and walked into the event horizon. A moment later he came face to face with an irate and very pregnant Jennifer Keller.

"Where is he?" she demanded, her hands on her hips and her voice harsh enough for him to regret coming through the gate first. Her brown eyes were narrowed and her face was contorted into something between anger, pain and anxiety to the point where she didn't look like herself at all.

Before he could respond Rodney appeared through the gate and Jennifer ran to him. She grabbed his right arm just above his wrist and yanked it towards her- hard enough to elicit a yelp from Rodney- and placed his hand flat against her bulging belly.

John gave a questioning glance to Teyla as Jennifer sighed in relief and her facial muscles relaxed to allow the woman they'd all known to reappear. Teyla shrugged her shoulders in response and John turned back to find a now serene Jennifer smiling at him.

"The baby was auditioning for the Cirque de Soleil in there," she explained with a gentle tap to her belly with her free hand, her voice gentle and happy. "And the only way he or she calms down is when Rodney puts his hand on my stomach."

John looked back and forth between Jennifer's calm face and Rodney's smug one. "Wow, Rodney," John said with genuine appreciation, "you've managed to fix a shield generator, a DHD and a pregnant woman in one day." John nodded in salute. "You've really got the touch."

"What do you mean he 'fixed' me?" demanded Jennifer.

"Oh crap…"

A/N: "The Touch" was written by Lenny Macaluso and Stan Bush. It was performed by Bush in the movie 'The Transformers: The Movie' (in the most awesome Optimus Prime scene ever) and released on its soundtrack in 1987.