"And you're sure this place isn't going to be all homophobic, right?"

"No, Ed. I lied to you the last hundred times you asked me."

Edward stuck his tongue out at Roy, crossing his arms as the man held the door open for him. "I like to make sure, alright?"

"Hush," Roy answered, walking up to the counter. Behind him, Ed gave him the middle finger and winked at the secretary, who looked shocked. "Hi, we have an appointment to try on some suits, it should be under the name Roy Mustang…"

The woman shook herself out of her surprise and scrolled down her computer screen. "Yes, I see you. You can have a seat right over there, I'll have someone with you momentarily."

Turning, Edward plopped down on the indicated couch, never one to deny himself a comfy seat. Roy, rolling his eyes, pulled Ed up out of his slouch and sat down as well. "Why do you always have to take up the entire couch?" he asked as Edward leaned back against him.

"Because I just love it when you toss me aside so you have a place to sit," Ed answered sarcastically. "The abuse really gets me going."

"Then why did you keep telling me to stop last night?"

"Tickling is a level far beyond abuse," Edward muttered. "I should have called the authorities."

Roy laughed loudly, causing the secretary to look over at them with an expression of something close to alarm. "You realize I'm part of the 'authorities,' right?"

"Exactly," Ed responded, grinning up at the man. "Doesn't that mean you get extra jail time?"

"Oh, come on. You'd miss me if I was in jail. You'd have to cook for yourself, you'd be alone for absurd amounts of time—hell, you'd probably have to ask Al to move back in just so you didn't go crazy. You'd constantly be calling the prison to whine at me, and…" Roy's eyes glinted mischievously. "Worst of all, with me gone, you'd have no one to suck—" Hurriedly, Edward clapped a hand over the man's mouth, glancing at the secretary…whose cheeks were on fire.

Filthy eavesdropper.

"You just love embarrassing me, don't you?" Edward whispered through clenched teeth. Roy, still unable to speak, nodded unabashedly.

"Excuse me, someone has an appointment?"

What was it with these assistants and perfect timing? Roy raised his hand and mumbled, before laughing into Ed's palm.

"That's us," Edward answered, unable to stop himself from chuckling as well as he released Roy's face.

"Excellent. I'm Sam, I'll be fitting you today. Which one wants to go first?"

Ed exchanged glances with Roy. "You," he decided. "You'll be easier." Because Roy just happened to be pretty much perfect, whereas Edward was bound to have to at least have the sleeves shortened…stupid height.

Roy seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, as the man was clearly holding back more laughter. Ed gave him a warning glare—being short was that one thing that really pissed him off—and (thankfully) Roy didn't say anything, simply rising and pulling Edward up with him. They followed Sam down a short maze of tuxedos to the main showroom.

"Pick anything you like—what color were you looking for?"

Oh, the decisions. Ed groaned inwardly, sizing Roy up. Black? Midnight blue? "Black," he finally responded.

"What, don't I get a say?" Roy joked.

Edward elbowed him in the ribs. "Black or blue would work, but blue would be…"

"Overpowering? Alright." Roy turned to Sam, confirmed, "Black it is."

Sam nodded. "We've got several styles, so you can just look around…most of the differences are minimal, but that can change an overall look quite drastically."

Turning to the displays, Ed scanned the options. The first looked like every other suit he'd ever seen, while the second—he had to hold back a laugh—was so pointy along the shoulders and other joints that it looked like some kind of costume. He kept going, walking slowly along, shooting down the options—this one looked too casual, that one had far too many buttons. Finally, he fell to the middle one at the exact same time Roy did.

"This one!" Edward declared, smiling up at the man—and allowing a little bit of deviousness to leak into the expression. This suit, by far the best (to his mind), was tighter than most of the other options, with sleek lapels and a slight sharpness of profile.

"You sure?" Roy asked. "It's a little…snug-looking, don't you think?"

"That's why I like it," Ed teased. "Just try it on?"

The man rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth turned up just slightly. "Alright. Sam, can I try one of these?"

"Yes, of course. Just come with me to the fitting room, I'll measure you and get the proper size—ah, ah, ah," he added, stopping Edward in his tracks as he made to follow them. "You wait out here."

Pouting slightly, Ed relented and hung back, glancing at the suits. With Roy taken care of (Edward just knew he would look perfect in the suit he was trying on), he turned his attention to himself. Which one would look good on him? And which one would match Roy's—without it being the exact same one? Ed flat out refused to buy the same tux, that would be too boring. Something that matched the sharpness, maybe, but was a little looser, maybe…Edward frowned at his options.

When was the last time he'd even worn a suit? His current tee and pants (skin tight, as always) felt so much more natural than dressing up. Of course, Edward would have to get a little fancy…but he couldn't picture himself in any of the suits.

Oh well. He'd try a couple on and just suck it up—he'd get used to feeling classy eventually.

A sound behind him made Ed turn around, and he couldn't help it—his jaw dropped, mouth hanging open like some kind of idiot. Sure, Roy was always drool-worthy, but in that suit…Edward couldn't help but zero in on the way it fit so nicely across the man's broad chest, or how it (he gulped, here) hugged his ass in a painfully flattering way…it was only with effort that Ed managed to collect himself—at least a little. Still, there was no way he could take his eyes off of Roy.

Roy looked at himself in the mirror, turning from side to side. He'd been unsure before, but Edward was right; the tuxedo fit him like a glove.

He caught sight of Ed's stunned face behind him in the mirror, and he grinned. The boy was practically salivating over him. Roy only barely held back a laugh, quite enjoying that hungry edge to Edward's gaze—perhaps a little too much for public.

Still, that cinched it; this would be the perfect suit for their wedding. Roy could just imagine it, him teasing Ed just by what he was wearing…

"Hmm," Sam murmured beside him. "Maybe a little tight, especially in the trousers…I can have that taken care of, though."

"Don't you dare," Roy muttered back. "Do you see his face? This is perfect."

Sam looked back at Edward for a moment, looking to be somewhere in between amused and uncomfortable. Roy smirked, turning around. "Well? What do you think?"

The blonde stood silent for a moment—Roy wondered whether he was conscious of the fact that his face was a brilliant shade of red. "Yeah," he finally rasped, coughed. "Yeah, that's—that's really good."

"Excellent." Grinning victoriously, Roy started to head back to the dressing room, calling behind him, "You look while I take this off, okay?"

"Alright," came the faint response.

Smiling the entire time, Roy finally finished undressing and walked back out to the main area, where Edward waited.

"Which ones are you going to try?" he asked.

Still slightly flabbergasted, Ed pointed to two—a plain-ish one and one with hardly noticeable pinstripes—and Sam whisked the boy off to get him fitted.

At this point, Roy's grin began to fade. Something inside of him was stuck, rather firmly, on the idea of Edward in a dress. He should be headed to the dressing room with an armful of white lace…Roy licked his lips unconsciously.

And then footsteps, and Ed was looking at himself in the mirror. The boy seemed uncomfortable at best, and downright disgruntled at worst. Roy couldn't deny that he looked good—hell, he always did. But the blonde lacked something (maybe something as simple as confidence), and there just wasn't the air of happiness that he wanted for Edward.

"I like it, but I don't think you do," he said, answering Ed's unspoken question as the boy turned around. "Try on the other one, see how you feel."

"Yeah—this one's too stiff," Edward agreed, walking off.

While waiting, Roy strode down a short hall to look at the rather extensive display of ties. Immediately, a silver one caught his eye. The color, the certain sheen, seemed so perfectly metallic—yet still subtle. And down the hall just a little further, a midnight blue shirt stood out. That could work.

"Roy!" Ed called from the next room.

"Coming!" He entered, and—this one was worse than before. Edward, torn between pouting and laughing, was shaking his head at his reflection.

"This is ridiculous, isn't it?"

"The first one was definitely better," Roy agreed delicately. "But…it didn't look like you were happy in it."

The blonde sighed. "I wasn't—it felt weird. So does this one. But I don't know if it's just that I'm not used to wearing a tux…"

"Nah, if you liked it, you'd be comfortable anyway. Maybe we should look around?"

Edward bit his lip, still staring at his reflection. Roy could see the conflict in the boy's eyes: he didn't want to have to deal with looking around anymore, and the nervousness, wondering if he would find something—but neither did Ed want to settle. "Yeah, okay," he finally sighed, stepping away from the mirror. "Let me take this off."

"Alright—I'm going to head up and pay for this," Roy responded, gesturing to the suit Sam had laid aside from him. And there's a shirt and tie I want to check out?"

"What color?"

"The shirt's a dark blue, the tie's a metallic sort of silver."

The blonde's face lit up. "Ooh, that's perfect! It fits the color scheme and everything—go ahead and get those, too."

Nodding and grinning like a fool, Roy walked down the hall and picked everything up. Edward actually managed to beat him to the checkout—Roy had had to dig for his size in the shirt, it took forever, really—and as soon as the boy caught sight of him he ran up to inspect the clothes.

"I approve," Ed decided, holding the tie up to the light and watching it shine. "It's unique, but it's not too much at all."

"Well, hand it here, I have to pay for it. You'll have plenty of time to manhandle my clothes later."

Edward looked at him, brow furrowed. "I think I take offence to that." Nevertheless, he handed the tie back to Roy, who checked out before heading to the car.

Despite his failure to find something for himself, Ed was in a pretty good mood, and that had Roy thinking. The blonde really hadn't seemed happy in the suits—but really, it wasn't like a dress would make him any more confident. That would be ridiculous. Still…Roy was feeling oddly daring.

He waited until Ed was buckled in. "Hey, Ed…?"

"Yeah?"

"You know what you could do? Instead of wearing a tux, I mean."

Though Roy kept his eyes on the road, he caught the boy's confused expression out of the corner of his eye. "What?"

"Wear a dress."

Silence filled the car for a moment, before Edward busted out laughing. "Don't scare me like that! Joking around with that serious face, I thought you meant it…" His laughter petered out as he continued to watch Roy. "Fuck, you didn't, did you? You weren't being serious…right?"

"Well, I mean, you seemed pretty uncomfortable in the tuxedos."

The blonde snorted, crossing his arms. "Like a dress would be any better. Do you know how much everyone would laugh at me? Havoc would have a field day." Edward shuddered. "I'm wearing a tux. I'll find one, we just have to keep looking."

Ed's tone made it quite clear that the conversation was to stop there. Still, Roy couldn't help but notice that the blonde had shut down his idea because of what everyone else would say—Edward didn't say anything about how he felt about wearing a dress. And considering the boy's highly vocal nature, that was…odd.

Perhaps he would bring this back up some other time.