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Death had visited Camelot while Ryll was away. One day and night and everything had changed. The people she passed in the streets were terrified. She could see it in their eyes as they huddled together, whispering in fearful voices, looking to the skies as if they expected another attack. Ryll wanted to ask what had happened, but the people shied away from her. Several openly wept over bodies covered in blankets on the streets. She hurried along as quickly as she could on her injured leg. She wondered if Merlin and Arthur were back, if Merlin was worried about her. Of course he was. She'd been kidnapped; no one knew where she was. A thought occurred to Ryll then. What if he'd gone after her? What if he thought she'd broken her promise and gone to the Isle of the Blessed alone? This thought hurried her feet. She found her way to the infirmary where she knew Gaius would be after an attack though she still had no idea what had attacked the city. He was covering a body as she entered. Ryll stopped short. The infirmary was filled with bodies draped in white sheets. She looked at the body Gaius was covering. The man's face was frosted over, little bits of it clinging to his hair and beard. His eyes were wide open in fear.
"Gaius, what happened?" Ryll asked, her voice echoing in the deathly silence.
Gaius turned to look at her. "They came from the veil," he told her. "Nothing can stop them save fire. Where have you been? Merlin returned at dawn. He's been looking everywhere for you. He thinks you went to the Isle of the Blessed without him."
"Byron kidnapped me," Ryll said hastily. "Is Merlin still here? He didn't leave?"
"He's still here," Gaius assured her. "But another hour and he would have been riding off to find you. What did Byron want with you?"
"He took me to Morgana. She wanted to know who Emrys was."
Gaius was silent but she could tell he was taking in her words. "Then Merlin is in more danger than I imagined."
"I told them nothing, of course. And I took Byron's memories of Merlin having magic. He's safe, Gaius."
"That's strong magic."
"I know. I had a good reason to do it. Where is Merlin now?" she asked.
"I'm not sure. He looked for you in your room and the physician's quarters. He'll probably return here."
"I'll wait." Ryll sat down in a wooden chair, easing her injured leg out.
Gaius gave her a scolding look though she knew he wasn't mad at her. "That leg of yours is never going to heal at this rate. Let me have a look. You need the bandage changed anyway." Ryll nodded gratefully and let Gaius tend her leg. "It's swollen a bit, but there's no real damage. Are you okay?" She knew he wasn't talking about her leg.
"I saw her, Gaius, spoke to her. After a year. I hadn't seen Byron in that long either. It was heart-breaking," she said. It felt good to talk about it. She hadn't really had much time to reflect on her reunion with the two people she'd once called friends. Now she felt her emotions bubbling to the surface. She wiped the corner of her eye before a tear could leak out.
Gaius patted her knee. "She could have killed you, but she didn't."
"Is that supposed to comfort me?"
"She must still care at least a little."
"The Morgana we knew is gone," Ryll said resolutely. "She had no reason to kill me. She just wanted information."
"What did she know about Emrys?" Gaius asked.
"I think just the name. I'm not sure how. I think she might be afraid of him, of his power. She had no idea it was Merlin. She called him 'Arthur's serving boy' when he came up in conversation. I guess such callousness gives him a certain anonymity if she thinks so less of him."
"Ryll?" Merlin's voice rang from the doorway, and Ryll looked up, her face breaking into a smile. Merlin looked pale and weary, but his face lit up when he saw her. He ran forward and knelt next to her chair, pulling her into a tight hug. She hugged him back.
"I'm so sorry, Merlin. I was taken from the castle. I would never have left without you. I kept my promise."
"Who took you?" he asked, pulling back to look her in the eye. His blue eyes were filled with relief.
"Byron."
"Byron?" he sounded surprised. "Why would he do that?"
Ryll recounted what had passed, and Merlin's smile faded away. "So she's heard of Emrys," he said.
"But she has no idea it's you."
"Taking Byron's memories was risky."
"It was necessary. I would do anything to protect you." She put a hand to his face, and he leaned into her touch.
"So Byron's working with Morgana then?"
"Yeah, it looks like it. He told me he isn't trying to bring down Arthur, just bring freedom to his people. I can't say I blame him." She saw the conflict in Merlin's eyes. "He didn't hurt me. He would never do that," she assured him.
"You can't know that. He's desperate. Desperate people do terrible things sometimes to get what they want."
"Right now we have more things to worry about. He wasn't involved in this. He was just as surprised as me to see the smoke rising from the city. Perhaps Morgana does not confide everything in him."
"I'm sure it was Morgana who did this," Merlin said. "More people are going to die if we don't fix this."
"How do we fix it?" Ryll asked, turning her eyes to Gaius who always seemed to have the answers.
"A blood sacrifice is needed to open the veil and one is needed to close it," he replied, looking grim.
"Someone has to give their life?" Ryll echoed. Gaius nodded. "That is a high price to pay for Morgana's treachery. I think she took Morgause's life to open it."
Merlin gave her a startled look. "What makes you say that?"
"Because Morgause was not with her. I could see in Morgana's eyes that she was gone. It all makes sense. Morgause would have given her life gladly if it meant Camelot's fall."
"I can't say I'm sad she's gone," Merlin said. "She caused all this."
"I'm not sad either," Ryll said. "I know she meant a lot to Morgana, but she's put her sister on a path she can't ever go back on. A path that leads to either death or total alienation from everyone she knows."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Merlin told her.
"Me too. It was so unexpected. After everything she did to us, I realized I still care about her. You don't just stop caring about people like that."
"Of course not."
"I feel like she's repressed all caring so much that she hardly feels anymore. All she feels is anger and hatred for those who stand against her."
"We're going to fix this," Merlin promised her, squeezing her hands. "Somehow."
…
Merlin should have seen it coming, should have known. Arthur could be thick, but he could also be entirely selfless. It was only natural that he volunteered to sacrifice himself to close up the tear between the world of the dead and the world of the living. If it meant the Dorocha would disappear and the people of Camelot would be saved, then Arthur would do anything. And since it was Merlin's fate to keep Arthur alive, it followed that Merlin must sacrifice himself to keep the prince alive.
The thought occurred to him the moment Arthur announced that he would be giving his life on the Isle of the Blessed. He accepted it quietly, realizing that this was the only way. Someone had to give his life, and he couldn't let it be Arthur. Camelot needed him more than it needed Merlin. He should have known that one day this would come to pass, that he would have to make the ultimate sacrifice to fulfill his destiny. He just hadn't realized it would be so soon. He hadn't told Ryll yet. How could he tell her? She would try to stop him, try to come along, try to sacrifice herself instead. They couldn't all sacrifice themselves – only one person needed to, and he intended that person to be him. How then could he keep Ryll from coming? He realized that he couldn't tell her. Not directly. She hadn't heard of Arthur's plan either, but he knew she'd come galloping after them if she knew what the prince was going to do. She just couldn't know. He didn't want to lie to her, but he needed to protect her just as she had done for him. The morning they were to set out, he found her helping Gaius in the infirmary though there was nothing they could do for the frostbitten victims of the Dorocha. He stopped to watch her for a moment before she noticed him, golden hair drawn up in a loose bun at the back of her neck, skin pale, blue eyes alert. She'd thrown herself into helping people even when her leg still hurt her. She didn't use her crutch anymore, but Merlin saw her keeping weight off her injured leg as best as she could.
"We're going to the Isle of the Blessed to put this right," he said, catching her attention.
Her eyes widened as she turned to him. "But Gaius said a life had to be given."
"I think I found another way," Merlin said. Gaius gave him a questioning look, but didn't call him on the lie. "If I use my magic, I think I can close it without anyone giving a life." Merlin flitted his eyes to Gaius giving him a minute shake of his head. A wave of understanding passed over the physician's face.
"You think?" Ryll looked unsure.
"I'm nearly positive," he answered, coming forward to take her hands. "I know you want to come," he said as she opened her mouth. "But your leg is still injured."
"I can ride a horse."
"Let us handle this. I have no doubt that you'd be more than helpful, but I can't worry about your leg and closing the veil. Gaius needs you here. The people of Camelot need you. We can't have all the best knights on this journey. Please do this for me." He waited for the argument, for the stubborn refusal to stay behind, but it didn't come.
"Can you promise me that you'll return?" she asked, blue eyes intense.
"I can't promise that because I don't know what's going to happen."
She blinked, accepting his answer. "Please try."
"I will." His heart ached as he spoke the words, knowing that they weren't true. If there was another way, he would do it, but this was the way it had to be.
"I'll come down to send you off. I want to wish the others luck," she said, linking her arm through his. He'd told Gaius what he planned to do earlier that morning and the physician had hugged him tight, accepting Merlin's plan even if it pained him to do so. Merlin gave the physician a brave smile before turning and helping Ryll from the room.
…
The knights were assembled, Arthur at their head looking grimly determined. Gwen spoke with Lancelot a few paces away. "I don't know what I'll do if I lose any of you," Ryll said to Merlin. She had come to care for each of the Knights of the Round Table like brothers.
"With luck we'll all be coming home," Merlin told her.
Ryll let go of Merlin's arm and approached Arthur who was checking the cinch on his horse looking more nervous than he probably wanted to let on. "Arthur, be careful. Camelot needs you to return safe."
He gave her a nod, but there was a distance in his eyes as he spoke. "I'm sorry you can't be with us, Ryll, but it's for the best. Camelot needs you here. If anything should happen to us, I'll take comfort in knowing Camelot is in such good hands."
"Ah, good hands, but not good legs," she joked, getting a small smile from the prince. "You're coming back," she added. "All of you." She pulled the prince into a hug. He hugged her back for a moment before pulling away and mounting his horse.
"While we're away, you're in charge of the knights. Give them orders, protect the city at all costs," Arthur told her, blue eyes serious.
"Really?" Ryll was lost for words. "Will the knights listen to me?"
"I've given them orders. They'd better follow them."
"Arthur, I don't know what to say…"
"Just keep the people safe. And keep yourself safe." His eyes drifted to Merlin. "I don't think I've given Merlin enough credit for his bravery," he said suddenly. "He didn't have to come, but he insisted."
"Because he wants to look after you, Arthur."
Arthur let out a soft laugh. "Would it surprise you to hear that that gives me some comfort?" he asked.
"Not really. You hide it well sometimes, but you care a lot about Merlin. One day maybe you'll tell that to him yourself." She smiled at him before turning to the other knights, clasping hands and giving out encouraging smiles. She reached Lancelot, and the dark-haired knight turned to her. "I can't believe I'm not coming with you," she said. "So much is at stake, but Camelot needs protection too."
"And she will be safe in your hands."
"I hope so. You will look after Merlin?"
"Of course. He knows what he's doing though."
"I know. I just worry."
"Gwen's worried about Arthur," Lancelot said, his eyes drifting to where Gwen was walking away.
"I'm always worried about Arthur, but so far he's gotten through a lot of dangers. You look after yourself too," she said, reaching forward to take his hand. "Camelot needs its greatest knight."
He squeezed her hand. "Camelot has its greatest knight," he said before mounting his horse.
Ryll turned to Merlin finally, her sight growing blurry despite her determination not to cry. She'd watched both Arthur and Merlin ride off into danger many times over the years, but it never got any easier. She had a foreboding feeling about this journey, and instinct screamed at her to go with them. Her leg gave a painful twitch as if reminding her why she was staying behind. "I know you'll make this right," she said. "You're the most incredible person I know."
"Stay safe, Ryll," he told her, pulling her into a tight hug. "No matter what happens, stay strong." He pulled away and then he was gone, riding beside Arthur as the knights followed behind. Lancelot rode in back, turning to give Ryll a warm smile. Ryll smiled back, tears chilling her face in the early November air. Then he turned away, and they were gone.
