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"Everything is set," Ryll told Morgana early the next morning. "Arthur holds a jousting tournament in honor of his engagement to Gwen." Ryll would be entering with the other knights and show equal surprise when Lancelot revealed himself. Ryll had brought him armor and a horse for the tournament. She helped him dress, her fingers moving swiftly to put on the familiar armor. Her breath caught when she was done. He looked so much like the old Lancelot in his gleaming armor. Something in her memories stirred and her fingers faltered when she handed him his helmet. It clattered the floor, and Morgana looked up sharply.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing," Ryll answered quickly.
"This time our plan cannot fail but only if you play your part."
"I will. It won't fail," Ryll promised. "This time you've outdone yourself." Her desire to help Morgana pushed her doubts to the back of her mind.
"Good. You know what to do Lancelot."
"Yes, my lady," he replied. Ryll led him outside to where his horse stood grazing.
"I need to slip away. Good luck," she told him. He nodded, mounting the horse and riding off. Ryll mounted her own charger heading back to Camelot to change into her own armor. She met with the other knights in the armory. They were sending out good-natured challenges to each other. Gwaine called out to Ryll but she was distracted and took a moment to notice.
"Planning on taking all of us down?" he asked, catching Ryll's attention.
Ryll forced a smile on her face. "Of course," she replied. "Don't I always?"
…
The contestants in the tournament rode out into the ring using their jousting poles to catch a ring of flowers for Gwen. It was the traditional way to celebrate a royal engagement. Ryll reined her horse up in front of Gwen, holding the pole up to deliver her the flowers. Gwen beamed down at her, and Ryll forced herself to smile back even though all she could think of was that Gwen was stealing Morgana's throne. She rode to the sidelines to watch the next rider. It was Lancelot on his white horse. He'd kept his identity disguised, but would reveal it when he delivered the ring to Gwen. She watched as Lancelot's horse surged forward and the jousting pole caught the ring. He rode up to Gwen and she leaned down to grasp the ring. Then Lancelot pulled back his helmet to reveal his face. Gwen's expression hardened with suspicion and surprise. Ryll looked over at Merlin and Arthur to see equally stunned looks on their faces. The plan was going accordingly, now the next step was to ensure that everyone believed it was really Lancelot.
…
Merlin caught up to Ryll as the knights headed toward the castle. "Can you believe it?" he asked.
"Hardly. How is this possible?" She played innocent.
"I don't know." She could tell by Merlin's tone that he was suspicious.
"When he crossed the veil, it's possible he didn't die at all," she said. "Maybe he was just transported to the world of the dead, but he found a way out."
"I didn't think that was possible."
"We don't know everything about magic," Ryll told him.
"No, we don't."
"Can't you just be happy that he's back?" she asked.
"You're not at all suspicious?" Merlin asked her.
"I'm just happy that my best friend is back," she said, a bitterness to her tone. "I just thought you might be happy too."
"If it really is him then of course I'm happy. He was my friend too," Merlin told her.
"Then I guess we'll find out."
…
Everyone else seemed convinced that this was the true Lancelot, Merlin noted as they dined that night. He watched from the side as Lancelot recounted his story and Arthur thanked him for his sacrifice on the Isle of the Blessed. Ryll sat next to Lancelot, her smile wide. He could see how happy she was that he was back but he was also afraid that her eagerness to have him back would blind her to the possibility that all was not right. He wanted desperately to believe that nothing was amiss, but people didn't just come back from beyond the veil. His suspicions grew later that night as he talked to Lancelot in the physician's quarters.
"I've spent so long thinking about...what happened. Could I have saved you? And if there was anything I could have done. If I could have used magic..." Merlin said after offering Lancelot his room to stay in.
Lancelot smiled at him. "If any of us had any magic, Merlin... Life would be a lot easier."
Merlin stood for a moment contemplating Lancelot's words. If any of us had any magic. Lancelot knew that Merlin had magic. He never would have forgotten that. He was one of the few people in the world who knew that. Something was not right. "Good night," he said, keeping his features friendly until he was out of Lancelot's sight. He left the room, and Gaius caught his worried expression.
"I know that look," he said, turning to give Merlin his full attention. "What's wrong?"
"I want to believe that everything is fine. That we really have Lancelot back." His eyes drifted back toward the door. The wrongness of it wouldn't go away.
"It certainly looks like him," Gaius said.
"Yeah…" Merlin said, trailing off.
"What is it?"
"I don't know. Something's wrong," Merlin told Gaius. He sat down next to the physician, lowering his voice so that Lancelot wouldn't overhear. "When he was telling his story, I sensed it. The way he greeted me, that made me suspicious. But what happened just now, that's made me sure. He forgot I had magic. Lancelot would never do that."
"Strange, indeed. Give him time."
Merlin wished that time alone would solve this, but somehow he knew that something was off now. Maybe in time the answer to all of this would reveal itself, but for now he couldn't shake the unsettled feeling that something was very wrong.
…
Ryll loved the sound of jousting – the sound of horses and of clanking armor and of the crowd cheering. It made her blood rush. Today, however, she was focused on the task at hand. Everyone but Merlin seemed to be taken in by Lancelot. How could she convince Merlin that everything was all right?
"You're up," Leon said to Ryll. She would have to figure this out later. She mounted her horse, a deep bay charger, and took the jousting pole Leon handed her in one hand. "Good luck."
Ryll spurred her horse into the ring where she was met with cheering. She was facing off with Gwaine and was looking forward to sending him flying off his horse. She pulled down the visor on her helmet. Gwaine did the same across from her. Then they sent their horses off at a charge. Ryll's horse reared before surging forward, his hooves cleaving the sand underfoot. Ryll readied her pole, aiming it at Gwaine's shoulder. The pole made contact, and Gwaine fell backwards off his horse before his pole could touch her. The crowd roared. Gwaine got to his feet, pulling off his helmet and giving Ryll a bow. Ryll smiled, riding her horse out of the arena. She would face the winners of the next few rounds. When she rode back out to face her next opponent the crowd went wild. In the past few months she had become favored as a knight. The people no longer looked at her like she was an oddity rising above her station in life. Now she was a champion of Camelot. Ironic since she served Camelot's enemy. Now she took down her opponent easily, moving up into the finals. She looked up at Gwen as Lancelot entered the arena. Her face was passive, but her eyes followed him. Morgana had enchanted a bracelet for Lancelot to give to Gwen. It would make Gwen fall in love with Lancelot since she would never betray Arthur willingly. Everything was set into motion and now all she had to do was wait and watch.
…
After the tournament – Ryll had allowed Lancelot to beat her in order to move forward to compete against Arthur – she found herself facing a suspicious Merlin again.
"I'm sure he's not the real Lancelot," he told her, walking alongside her as she headed back to her room for a bath. Lancelot's pole had barely hit her, but her shoulder was sufficiently bruised.
"I'm sure you're overreacting," Ryll told him. "Why can't you just accept that he's back? It's like you're jealous or something. Arthur's favored knight is back, and now you're back to being just his servant." It struck her that the old Ryll never would have said anything like that when she saw the hurt flash across Merlin's face.
"That's not even close to the truth," he said. "I'd be very glad if he was back, but it's not really him." He narrowed his eyes. "I know you want so badly to believe he's back, but you used to trust me on things like this without a second thought. Now I feel like you don't believe a word I say."
"I just think you're wrong on this one, Merlin. Where's your proof anyway?" When he didn't reply, she nodded. "That's what I thought. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to bathe." She left him outside her door, shutting it and locking it behind her. Merlin was getting to be a nuisance. There had to be a way to keep him out of the way.
She took a quick bath and then headed down to the stables and taking a horse into the woods. She made sure she wasn't being followed before riding to Morgana's hovel. She knocked first and then entered when she heard Morgana's answer. "Ryll, what news?" Morgana asked, stepping forward to greet her.
"Merlin is suspicious. He knows it's not really Lancelot. I'm not sure how. He may be a servant, but he has instincts that often see the truth where others don't."
"We need to keep him away from Gwen and Lancelot tonight. Agravaine tells me tonight is when Lancelot is going to make his move. Gwen is under the enchantment, and Agravaine will alert Arthur."
"I'll see to it Merlin doesn't get in the way," she promised.
"Then you'd better get back. Good luck."
Ryll left the hovel and made her way back to Camelot. Darkness was beginning to fall, and she hurried to the physician's quarters but Gaius informed her that Merlin wasn't there and he wasn't sure where he had gone. Ryll felt panic grow as she tried to find Merlin in the expansive castle. He had to be somewhere. She had the nagging feeling that he was going to ruin their plans. He was always getting in the way. Finally she found him, getting up from the floor in the middle of a corridor. She hurried forward to help him to his feet.
"Merlin, what happened?" she asked, putting on a look of concern.
"Lancelot. He knocked me out. I need to stop him!" Merlin said, starting forward. Ryll caught his arm.
"I need to talk to you," she said. Merlin turned to look at her, blue eyes distracted.
"Not right now. I really need to go after him." He tried to tug his arm away, but she wouldn't let go.
"What could be more important than talking to me?" she asked. "This is important too."
"Something bad is about to happen," he insisted. "I need to go."
"I wanted to apologize for earlier – for the way I spoke to you," Ryll said in a rush. She needed to keep him from going after Lancelot at whatever cost.
"It's okay, really. Can we talk about this later? I promise we will talk." He finally pulled his arm from her grip.
"Merlin, for the last time, Lancelot is himself! Why don't you trust me on that? I feel like you don't trust me at all anymore. I was trying to make things work, but I see now they never will," she said in a last attempt to get him to stay.
"What do you mean?" His full attention was on her now. She surged ahead.
"You never take the time to listen to me anymore. You push aside my opinions like they mean nothing to you. I don't feel like we have any connection anymore. Maybe this just wasn't meant to last."
"That's not what this is, believe me, Ryll!" Merlin said, his eyes flashing with emotion.
"Then what is it?"
"This is just something I have to do, please understand," he pleaded with her.
"No. Not this time." She took a step back. "You can choose to walk away or you can choose to stay with me."
Merlin ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Ryll, but right now I can't."
"Fine. Then I guess whatever it was we had isn't important enough to you." She could hear a commotion down below. Merlin's eyes darted toward the stairs. "Goodbye, Merlin," Ryll said with finality. She turned to leave.
"Ryll, no! Wait!" he called after her, but she kept walking. She heard him curse and then heard his footsteps retreating toward the commotion. She kept walking, a smile twisting her lips. That had felt better than expected. Now without her tie to Merlin he would quit hounding her every step. She knew where her loyalties lay and they weren't with him.
…
Merlin slid to the floor after shutting himself in his room. Gwen and Lancelot had been caught. Arthur had nearly killed Lancelot and both he and Gwen had been thrown into the dungeons. That had been Morgana's plan all along. Not to kill Arthur but to break his heart by somehow forcing Gwen to fall back in love with Lancelot. It had to be a trick, a spell, something. Gwen would never betray Arthur. And then there was Ryll… His heart ached to think about that conversation. She had changed so much over the last few weeks that Merlin hardly recognized her anymore. He didn't know what to think anymore. Arthur's heart had been broken and so had his. Ryll hadn't been herself, but Merlin had never expected this, never expected Ryll to simply give up on him because they'd been at odds lately. He couldn't explain her behavior. She'd become so cold lately, so distant. Something must have happened to cause her to behave that way. His thoughts had flashed to Morgana, but she already had Agravaine to spy for her. Why would she enchant Ryll as well? It was too risky with Ryll's abilities. She would be able to shake off an enchantment easily. Maybe they had just drifted apart. He'd never quite understood what she saw in him, and now he realized they couldn't all have their happy endings.
He thought back to the first time they had met when Ryll had come into his life so suddenly, injured and yet able to heal herself. He remembered the fear and confusion in her eyes when she'd first realized she'd used magic, that little bit of trust she'd put in him even though she hardly knew him. He remembered how that trust had grown until it had turned into something more. After all they had been through together could all of that have really faded? Something was wrong, and he would fight to find the truth, fight to win the Ryll he knew back. But not tonight. Tonight was a night of broken hearts and shattered trust. He pulled himself off the floor and lay on his bed staring out the window at the stars. Maybe tomorrow everything would be clearer. Maybe he would wake up and it would all be a bad dream. Maybe…
…
He couldn't find Ryll the next day. Gwen was banished and though Merlin tried to change Arthur's mind, he failed. Everyone was miserable and the air around Camelot had a heavy feel to it. More than ever he wanted to turn to Ryll, but she wasn't there. Then they found Lancelot's body. It wasn't quite as bad knowing he was a wraith – he couldn't die twice – but Arthur and the other knights believed that Lancelot had taken his own life. It was a dishonorable way for a knight to go, and Merlin could say nothing. He was tasked giving Lancelot an honorable burial, and so he took him to the lake close to Camelot and laid him on a boat. For once he was glad Ryll wasn't there. Hearing of Lancelot's death had nearly destroyed her before. Seeing him like this now surely would…at least it would have before. He placed a hand on Lancelot's forehead and spoke an incantation to release Lancelot from Morgana's grasp. At least in death he could be free. He pulled away when he had finished and then started when Lancelot opened his eyes.
"Thank you," the knight said before closing his eyes once more and breathing his last breath. He did look at peace after that. Merlin smiled sadly, tears salting his eyes and running slowly down his cheeks as he pushed the boat into the water. He waited until the boat had traveled a distance away and then set fire to it using magic. His vision was blurry now, and he wiped a sleeve across his eye feeling more alone than ever.
