"Well then, Sebastian Michaelis, this is a birthday gift from my master to yours."
Cradling Ciel tightly in my arms, I look up at the barrel of his gun.
Tick follows tock follows tick follows tock.
My mantra, my ritual – it calms my mind and slows everything down, allowing me to think.
And my first thought is that this man is not like me.
He is not a killer.
He's struggling – I know it. If he were a killer, he wouldn't bother talking to us, he'd do what I would do and just pull the trigger. However, I'll take his lack of experience and use it, as in that sentence, he didn't notice me slide my left foot out from underneath me as I now balance on my right.
I listen as I hear his thumb slide over the safety – it clicks as it releases. I watch as he squeezes his index finger around the trigger and the bullet is discharged.
I make a quick calculation as he pulls the trigger – judging by the distance of the barrel to the height of my raised back and the velocity at which the bullet is discharged, I only have one option. Kicking my right leg out, I fall flat on top of Ciel, he lets go of me as his lungs exhale under the weight of pressure and the bullet grazes past my shoulder – I'm hit.
I wince as the wound is deep and it burns. I can feel Ciels' whole body shake underneath me, I look at his face and he's completely terrified. Dipping my head back down I hug him slightly to calm the shaking and I turn my lips to his ear.
"Trust in me." I whisper. He nods frantically in acknowledgement. Okay, here we go.
Rolling off of him, I use the heel of my left foot, kicking it out and hitting him in the shin, driving into the bone, I listen out for a crack and drag my heel down to his ankle. I can't see the damage but the crack is there and I can smell fresh blood – excellent - it was a direct hit. He collapses, dropping to one knee as he holds his shin.
"Master, I've been shot! Go to kitchen." I declare but he hesitates, "Now!"
Scrambling to his feet, Ciel scurries out into the hall down towards the kitchen.
Judging by the choice of jean trousers he's chosen to wear, the scrape must burn like fuck, not to mention the break. I would chuckle at that fact but I've got to get his gun, which he is still clutching in his hand. I roll over onto my side and I start to stand.
"He's in the kitchen!" He shouts, looking over his shoulder and not paying attention to me. Ciel may have run towards the kitchen but I know he won't go in it. I've already prepared for something like this to happen and if it does, like now, Ciel knows to go anywhere than where I tell him to go. It's a distraction; actually, it's kettling, making them go into a room where I would have the advantage.
Now I chuckle, this man is an idiot. Just because I said I have been shot doesn't mean you've won.
I hear voices and clamoring as whomever he shouted to heads into the kitchen. Good, I've got to get in there.
"Now then, how shall we proceed?" I smirk as I hover above him. His eyes widen.
"H-how, I thought you-"
"Were shot? Yes, you shot me but you didn't kill me and that was your second mistake. Your first being coming into this house." I say as my eyes lock in with his as I start to squat down. He didn't notice my right hand slipping down just above his readying to take the gun.
He tries to raise his hand but it smacks into my palm and I hold his hand tightly into my, squeezing it. With my left hand, I reach out and grab his throat.
"Who hired you?" I ask calmly. His eyes start to tear, how sweet.
"H-he didn't give me a name. He j-just said that he was on behalf o-of someone else." He chokes out.
I roll my head back and to the side as I think about this.
Using his hand, I smack the handle of the gun against his damaged shin. He cries out and lets go of the gun into my hands.
I start to stand up, taking him with me as his throat is conveniently still in my hand.
"Why would you say this was a gift?"
"That's what he told me t-t-to say! Please, you have to believe me, I don't even know who you are, he just said: bring the kid!" He splutters.
"Okay." I shrug. Raising the gun, I clock him in the forehead with the butt and he passes out. "I'll let the cops deal with you." I quickly unload and drop the gun and then sprint towards the kitchen.
Entering the kitchen, the lights aren't on, but the moon through the blinds allows me to see there are three of them – easily done. I watch as they look around for Ciel but they can't find him, of course not, he's not here. Why would I announce where he would be hiding? What is this? Amateur hour? I groan to myself, quietly. It doesn't really matter as it has done the trick; they're here and completely oblivious to my presence.
Tick follows tock follows tick follows tock.
"Come out little boy, we're not going to harm you." One of the men calls out. Yeah, like anyone would believe that.
Tick.
I walk up behind one of them, wrapping my hands around the sides of his head, squeezing his cheeks, I twist his head sharply, breaking his neck and causing him to go limp in my hands and I guide him down to his knees quietly.
Tock.
Crouching down I make my way around them, stopping just on the other side of the island counter in the middle of the kitchen. The pair don't seem to notice me, or the dead body of their colleague, as they walk around the island in front of me looking under the table and chairs.
"Mate, I don't think he's 'ere."
I ever so silently slide open a drawer and reach in, my fingers brushing against something cold and metal. I run them up whatever it is, and realize it's a razor sharp kitchen knife and it'll do nicely. Taking this, and a few more pieces of cutlery out of the drawer, I palm them and slide them up my sleeve.
"Fuck, we can't leave without 'im, dead or alive."
"Steve, what do you think?" I can't see who they're calling for, but I'm pretty sure Steve is not going to reply.
Tick.
I close my eyes and focus as I can hear one of them walking around towards me.
Perfect.
Staying very low to the ground, I wait to pounce as he walks ever closer to me.
"Oh shit, Steve?" The first one stumbles on to the body of his fallen comrade.
"Shhh…I hear something." The second one whispers.
"Sebastian?"
Ciel! I hear his voice and soft footsteps as he enters the kitchen, what is he doing? He knows better than this! I crawl forward to see him stood by the door as he takes everything in; he's still shaking but standing firm – just as I would imagine him to.
"Ah, there you are kid, we've been looking for you." The second one purrs as the first one lunges forward and grabs Ciel, lifting him up off of his feet by his collar.
"Sebastian! Where are you?" He cries out.
Tock.
Crawling further towards them, I drop one of the knives that I had hidden away into the palm of my hand.
"I'm right here young master." My voice is calm and honeyed in it's tone as I spring forward on my knees, using my knife to slice the right Achilles tendon of the second man causing him to scream out and fall over.
With the same knife, I pounce on top of him and plunge it into his chest. Blood splatters on the first man and over Ciel as I start to stand up and move towards them.
The man drops Ciel to his feet and turns to me as he tries to get his gun out of his back pocket. I drop down another piece of cutlery into my hand from my sleeve, I touch the tip of it with my index finger, and it's a fork this time.
"I thought you were shot!" Ciel exclaims in shock.
"I was shot and it hurts like fuck, get down!" I instruct and as he ducks, I take the fork and throw it at the man, hitting him square in the eyes. He too drops down and falls over just in front of Ciel. Not wanting to take any chances, I pull the fork out of his forehead and stab him in the chest with it as well.
Ciel completely collapses to his knees as he stares at me in repulsion on all fours.
"Is it – is it over?" He asks me, shaking.
"Yes young master," I nod, "it's all over now."
...
"The cops should be here shortly." I exhale as I lean over the kitchen table, completely exhausted.
I moved the bodies out of the kitchen and into the sitting room. Then Tanaka and I set about to cleaning and coming up with matched up statements for the police. Of course, it didn't really matter as this was an act of self-defense, there were guns but I used cutlery and besides, once they realize who the target was, they are sure to brush the whole thing under the carpet, especially as it was a matter for the underground and it concerned the last remaining 'untouchable'.
"I still don't know why you called them. It's best if people didn't know I am still alive." Ciel huffs as he comes over to me.
"I hate to break it to you but I think the cat's already out of the bag." I stand upright and hobble slightly to a nearby chair and take a seat. I take off my coat as my shoulder is bothering me; it's throbbing and still sore.
"You're bleeding!" Ciel gasps as he lays eyes on my wound. I look over to my shoulder and nod.
"I guess I am. Well, that's what happens when you get shot, you bleed." I agree. "Is there a first aid kit around?"
"I'll ask Tanaka." He rushes off and out of the kitchen to find the old man who was no doubt guarding the bodies in the front room. My eyes trail after him as he goes out, his nightshirt still spotted and stained with someone else's blood. My first thought is how am I going to get these stains out of that nightshirt? I may have to get him a few more and with that, I emit an airy chuckle. When did this happen? It's only been a month and I'm already thinking like a butler. I wonder when the change happened? It's all happened so fast that I didn't even realize it.
As I muse over my newfound self, Ciel returns to the kitchen, lugging a big green bag with a white cross on the front of it. Sitting it down on the table, he starts to rifle through it, pulling out a bottle of antiseptic solution, gauze, tape, white crepe bandages, scissors and various other items I don't think I'll need. Reaching over and grabbing the antiseptic bottle, I put it in my mouth and use my teeth to unscrew the lid. My eyes wander over to Ciel who is standing with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.
"What?" I mumble as I spit the lid out of my mouth.
"I was going to take care of that for you." He mutters and I do everything in my power not to laugh at him. I see that he can tell, as his face flushes crimson and his hands clench into fits, held tightly at his side.
"This from the boy who cannot even dress himself?"
"Well, my Aunt is a doctor."
"So you think you've learned how to do this by osmosis?" I lightly chuckle. Ciel looks as though he's going to punch me with his tiny, ineffectual, balled up fists.
"No! I know how to dress a wound; I've seen it done before." He snorts; I can see something click behind his eyes as he realizes something and a wave of sadness comes across his face. "I used to watch my mother do this for father sometimes." He recalls.
I don't know what to say.
He barely brings up his parents, as it must be hard for him, but sometimes it's like they don't even exist. With Dr. Durless' blessing, Tanaka had removed any family pictures and placed them somewhere where Ciel wouldn't find them – almost as though looking at them would be too much for him.
I clench my fist and measure the amount of pain I'm in. It hurts but it's not too bad, deep superficial wound at best.
"Okay, you can tend to it." I decide. His whole face brightens up as he snatches the antiseptic from me and takes some gauze pads from off of the table. I watch him out of the corner of my eyes as he haphazardly pours the liquid onto the pads, spilling some onto the floor. "How many times have you seen this done?"
"Enough." He shrugs, "Now take off your shirt." I hesitate, as I'm really unsure about this. I know it isn't a deep wound but still, I don't want an infection, no matter how much antiseptic solution he puts on it. "Sebastian, this in an order, take off your shirt and let me treat you." Ciel frowns.
It's an order now is it? It's my first one since I signed my contract.
I exhale loudly and feebly attempt to unbutton my shirt, sliding it off of my shoulders. Using his free hand, he guides it the rest of the way down my arm and back then starts getting to work on treating my wound, dabbing at it with the antiseptic soaked gauze pad very roughly. Wincing from the burning of the solution and the sheer gruffness of his actions, I think Ciel must have seen my face. The dabbing becomes much gentler and he blows on the wound between each touch in an attempt to soothe the burning sensation.
Looking over at him again, I can't help but feel warmed by this. I've been injured more times than I can count but no one has ever treated me before, let alone offered. Watching his typically scowling face scrunch up, his normally pouting lips part as his little pink tongue pokes out in concentration makes want to chuckle – of course, I don't, I just let him carry on with the task at hand.
"So, you didn't like the rabbit Miss Lizzie got you?" I ask as he starts to put the dressing on, fussing over exactly how it should sit on my shoulder.
"It's not that I didn't like it, I like it just fine. It's just that it's a toy for a child." He groans.
"Are you not a child?"
He stops for a moment to think, and then continues to apply more dressing.
"I suppose I am in age alone but no, I do not consider myself to be a child." He replies.
"Then what are you?" I wonder curiously. The tape is coming out now, and he cut strips off and smoothes them against the dressing on my shoulder.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you're not a man – not yet at least."
"I am an adult. If you knew..." He trails off for a moment and I suspect he's thinking about the last few months he spent in captivity.
"It's all right; you don't have to tell me." I attempt to defuse the tension.
He stops for a second, keeping his eyes down towards the table as he traces his fingers over the blades of scissors as though he is in a trance. His past must haunt him terribly - I want to know about it, all of it but I can wait until he wants to tell me – that is – if he ever does.
"Young master?" I speak gently so as not to spook him. It seems to work as he snaps out of it and picks up a dry gauze pad, placing it over my wound and holding it there as he gets more tape and sticks it in place. He works quietly but quickly as he keeps applying more gauze and tape, it's fine, I'll leave it for now but I will have to redress it later.
Once he finishes, he stands back and admires his work. He emits a low hum as he thinks of something. Coming towards me, Ciel places one hand on my chest, the base of his palm is warm considering he is barely wearing a slip of anything. Putting his other hand on the edge for balance, Ciel leans into me, closes his eyes and ever so tenderly kisses the dressed wound on my shoulder; his long eyelashes sweep over my skin.
I am thoroughly dumbstruck.
He looks at me and reads my reaction curiously.
"What is the matter?"
"Why did you do that?" I manage to splutter out as any other type of words escape my mind.
"Is that not what you are supposed to do? I've seen my mother do this many times whenever my father or I were injured." He states quite matter of fact. My face softens as I smile at him.
"Okay, I understand now. Your mother was kissing your 'boo-boo'." I know I must sound detached but I'm not fond of human physical contact, no matter what it is meant as. I can appreciate why he did it; it was sweet, though oddly affectionate, especially given the nature of our relationship but it was what he learned from his mother.
"Master, why don't you ever talk about your parents?" I ask.
His mouth drops open to reply but he hesitates.
"What the hell happened here?"
We both look over towards the door and there stands Dr. Durless, just back from work, her red lacquered nails digging into her sides as she places her hands firmly on her hips. There is a look of anger and complete bewilderment on her face.
"Sebastian, a word." She says sternly.
I slide off of the chair, tossing my bloodied shirt back up and over my shoulders and I start to walk towards her. As I do, Ciel comes into full view, he steps beside me but slightly behind as he follows. Her eyes land on him and widen in horror as she rushes over to him, pulling at his nightshirt and searching his body.
"Oh my God! Ciel! Are you all right?"
"I'm fine." He pushes her hands off of him. "There isn't a scratch on me."
"But you're covered in-"
"Somebody else's blood Aunt Anne." He smiles, "I assure you, I'm perfectly fine." His eyes flicker over towards me and hers' follow in the same direction. I nod to confirm, I did my job, I protected him and she need not worry but still, she frowns.
"Ciel, stay here. Sebastian, hallway – right now." She barks.
I do as she instructs and follow her into the hallway. I lean against the wall as she paces back and forth, gnawing on the nail of her middle finger as she thinks.
"Well?"
"It seems the young masters' attempt to keep the fact that he is alive a secret has been thwarted."
"What do you mean?"
"Dr. Durless, I've been meaning to ask this, what do you know about the Phantomhives?"
She stops pacing for a moment and goes silent.
"So you know." She sighs after a while.
"It is my duty to know everything, especially if I am to protect the young master with my life." I respond.
"Sebastian, you have to stop him." Her eyes look at me, pleadingly.
"I don't know how." I answer truthfully.
"Find a way, any way. This is not the life I want for him… I saw how my sister was and…" Looking at her, her face sinks like her voice and she becomes distant. "I can't bear it, if he follows the same path as his father, I just can't. He's the only family I have left. Please Sebastian, please, you have to stop him – make him see sense." She begs.
"That's not his decision to make." Ciel interrupts.
Moving away from the wall, I stand upright as I see him come up beside us; his arms are crossed over his chest as he stands in front of us.
"Ciel, please, I'm only doing this for your own good!"
"My own good?"
"You could have died tonight." She reaches out and touches his cheek.
"But I didn't, Sebastian protected me." He replies sharply as he side steps her action. "I could have died many times over but I didn't. This is who I am, this is who I have become and this is now my job. There is no way I'm running away from it."
I can see Dr. Durless' eyes start to well up with tears as she sweeps the ruby red fringe from her forehead in frustration.
"But you're a child." She tries to reason.
"No. I am head of the Phantomhive Family and all that entails. I have been preparing for this since my birth – and I am not a child." He snaps as he turns towards the end of the hall. "Come Sebastian, I believe the police are here to clean up this mess."
His tone is sharp and remarkably different to the sweet boy who delicately kissed my wound not five minutes ago. Now, he seems aloof and cold as we walk towards the sitting room to greet the police.
I follow after him as he struts, just casting my eyes over my shoulder to Dr. Durless, who is crying, tears falling down her cheeks as her eyes remain focused on him.
This is not the life she wants for her nephew and I can understand that. This would not be the life I'd want for him either, if I were her – however, I'm glad he's chosen it. The more time I spend with Ciel, the more I admire him and his brazen tenacity. His unwavering need for revenge is something I desire, in fact – I crave it.
His soul is dark, twisted and tainted – yet, it's equally childlike and innocent, such a rare dichotomy existing in one being – it's delicious. So foolish and yet so admirable, just thinking about it makes my mouth water. Still, I feel I must reconfirm if the strength of his convictions continue to ring true.
"Young master, what if your Aunt is right."
"What are you talking about?"
"You're 'alive' now, which means you'll have your wealth, status and all entitlements reinstated to you. Why would you throw all of that away for something as foolish as revenge? Why not just start living?"
We get to the edge of the hallway and he suddenly stops, keeping his back to me and letting out an airy chuckle.
"You know, you're probably right." He agrees. My heart sinks as the creature I started to admire and whose need for revenge I desire so greatly seems to be letting doubt set in. "But," He begins again, turning to face me. "I didn't hire you because I wanted those things, I hired you because I want to fight and now that whoever did this to me and my family know I am alive, there is nowhere to go but forward. I will fight each and every last one of them and I will get my revenge!" His voice is firm without a trace of doubt, his back is straight and his head is high as he stares me straight in the eyes.
There he is, this beautiful creature, without hesitation he joins me in the darkness, turning his back to the light. He could have everything he could ever want in this world twice over, but the only thing he wants is revenge. I have had many clients over the years who have sought the same, the majority with reasons that are so petty, they seem like children who want a settling of scores after a school yard scrap. However Ciel is the only one who understands what it means to want revenge, true retribution, he is ready to charge into this abyss at speed with such dignity and bloodlust.
He is perfect and single minded, so beautiful and so imprudent.
"Sebastian." He calls me, my eyes lock into his, unwavering. "This is an order, I trust you to be my soldier. You will be fighting for me, being my sword and my shield - and you will bring me victory." He growls so low that it sends a sharp shiver up my spine.
I immediately drop down on my left knee, crossing my left arm over my heart as I bow my head and take his right hand into mine
"Yes young master, I will continue to fight for you and I will definitely deliver you the laurel of victory. On my own I life, I swear it." I trail my thumb over his knuckles before I lightly touch my lips to them, confirming my statement.
Ciel Phantomhive, I now know what you ask of me and I can deliver, but do you know? Do you know what road you're destined to walk down and to what end you're seeking? Do you know that everyone you know will start to fall by the wayside and eventually; you'll be forced to walk this road alone? Do you know that this crown you so desperately seek is full of nothing but despair?
Yes, you must know, of course you know but you seek it anyway – how foolish but how beautiful.