-96-

The attack went like a dance. The knights slipped in, cutting down the Southrons. Ryll stayed with Arthur and Merlin as they made their way to Morgana, Gwen at their sides. Tristan and Isolde had joined them as well, their opinion of Arthur changed after seeing the loyalty and love his people showed for him. Byron had insisted on fighting, going with the knights. He promised Ryll he would not use magic, only a sword. Ryll's sword swung true, and she took pleasure in the freedom she felt to make her own decisions, to fight for Arthur the true ruler of Camelot. As they neared the throne room, however, a feeling of dread washed over her. This was it. They were confronting Morgana, and if Arthur couldn't stop her, then it would be up to Ryll. Ryll would take that responsibility because she was a knight of Camelot and she would protect the kingdom and its king with her life. Even if it meant killing someone she'd once cared for. But could she kill Morgana? These men she cut down now were the enemy – they would kill her if she didn't kill them, but Morgana had given her second chances before. Maybe not after yesterday…

They reached the doors to the throne room and, after a pause, burst through them, swords ready. They all stopped short at the sight of Morgana sitting on the throne, Helios behind her. "Welcome, dear brother. It's been far too long." Morgana got up and walked toward Arthur. "I apologize if you had a difficult reception. It's hard to know who to trust these days." She stopped in the middle of the room. Arthur took a step forward, holding up his sword to show that he wasn't going to attack her. Morgana watched him warily as he slipped the sword into his belt and met her in the middle of the room.

"What happened to you, Morgana?" Arthur asked softly, the pain in his voice clear. She had once been like a sister to him even if he hadn't known it to be by blood.

Morgana had pain in her eyes as she watched Arthur. Ryll thought she saw regret there too. Was there still hope for Morgana? Clearly she still felt pain and regret. Could she not see that it wasn't too late to make amends with Arthur if she tried?

"I thought we were friends," Arthur continued.

"As did I." Ryll could hear the sorrow in Morgana's voice. "But alas, we were both wrong." Her voice hardened.

"You can't blame me for my father's sins," Arthur told her.

"It's a little late for that. You've made it perfectly clear how you feel about me and my kind. You're not as different from Uther as you'd like to think," Morgana said, her eyes growing cold once more.

"Nor are you," was Arthur's reply, and anger flashed in Morgana's eyes. She backed away.

"I'm going to enjoy killing you, Arthur Pendragon," she said with a twisted smile. "Not even Emrys can save you now." Ryll looked over at Merlin who looked nervous. Arthur drew his sword.

"Your blades cannot stop me," Morgana scoffed with a smirk. Merlin tensed beside Ryll, and she began to worry.

"Hleap on bæc," Morgana spoke the words, but nothing happened. She looked surprised. She raised her hand and tired the spell again, but her magic did not come. Ryll felt a surge of relief, and she saw Merlin's shoulders slump forward with the same emotion. Now Morgana looked scared. She was powerless and outnumbered.

"Not so powerful now, my lady," Arthur said while Morgana looked down at her hands in shock. Helios stepped forward and pulled her back. He faced Arthur. Morgana turned on her heels and ran from the room. "After her!" Arthur called out and Ryll, Gwen, and Merlin took after the fleeing sorceress. Ryll cut down the Southron soldiers that got in the way, leaving Gwen and Merlin behind. She was not going to let Morgana escape. It flashed across her mind that Morgana did not have use of her powers. Whatever Emrys had done to her had worked. But that meant she'd have to take down Morgana with a sword. She wasn't sure a regular blade would work. She could take Morgana captive, but she doubted bars could keep the sorceress for long. And then Arthur would have to make the call to have her executed. Ryll had seen the look in his eyes when he had confronted Morgana. That choice would cost him even if it was his duty as king.

She saw Morgana disappear around a corner, but before Ryll could follow four Southron soldiers stepped out into her path. Merlin caught up to her a second later. He held a sword, but as one of the soldiers attacked him, Ryll was reminded that he had never learned how to properly use a sword. She swung her own blade up and cut down one soldier then another. Merlin took down one, but the other knocked the blade from his hand. He tripped backwards over some rubble and fell to the ground. Morgana was getting away, but Ryll didn't hesitate to throw herself at the soldier, cutting him down before he could touch Merlin. She reached out a hand and pulled him to his feet.

"Thanks." He threw her a smile before they raced in the direction Morgana had gone. They reached diverging halls and split up. Ryll ran into more enemy soldiers, but no Morgana. She finally circled back. She stopped short when she saw Gwen and Morgana fighting. Gwen fought valiantly, and Morgana appeared to be injured, but it was no contest. Morgana was very skilled with a sword injured or not. She knocked Gwen's blade aside and held her own up to her neck. Ryll let out a cry and ran forward but then the ceiling collapsed separating Gwen and Morgana. When the dust cleared Ryll saw Merlin standing there with Gwen, but no Morgana.

"Where did she go?"

"I don't know," Merlin replied.

"I have to go after her."

"She was injured. She won't make it far." Merlin stopped her.

"I can't risk her getting away. She won't ever stop if she does." Merlin made to follow her, but Ryll was already running. She let instinct guide her. Morgana was clearly trying to leave the castle. If Ryll were injured and on the run she would make for the forest. She paused outside the city gates. There was blood on the leaves of one of the bushes. She kept going and found a subtle track of blood leading into the forest. As she followed it she felt mixed emotions. If Morgana was badly injured, Ryll might find her dying, maybe dead. That would make Ryll's job easier, but she couldn't stop the surge of emotions at the thought of Morgana dead. She was so young and she had once been such a wonderful person. Did she really deserve death? But then Ryll thought of all the deaths she had caused. Morgana would keep hurting people if she escaped. But could Ryll finish the job?

She kept going into the woods and the blood trail got thicker. She stopped short when she reached a clearing far into the woods. She was surprised Morgana had made it this far, but she was a fighter. She was holding onto a tree, clutching her side with her other hand. Her side was bleeding heavily. She looked up when Ryll entered the clearing, and her eyes showed no surprise, only acceptance.

"Come to kill me?" she asked, her breath labored. Her greenish eyes held pain and fear, but she kept her head high.

"Do you really need to ask that?" Ryll's hands were sweaty on her sword. "It didn't have to be like this, Morgana."

"You only say that because Arthur doesn't know what you are yet. You haven't faced his judgment."

"Your actions have given everyone with magic a bad name, Morgana. I don't blame Arthur for the way he thinks because you've given him every reason to think that way."

"I did what I had to do to protect myself."

"And alienated everyone in the process. There's nothing left for you Morgana. You've made sure of that. There is no future where you sit on the throne of Camelot. The people would not serve you. They fear you. You've burned their fields, killed them off, ousted their king. Do you want people to fear or accept you? There's no going back from what you've done. I don't even recognize you anymore. I thought I did for a moment when you were speaking to Arthur. When you were thinking of the past."

"The past is gone. The past is the reason I've fought so hard."

"I'm tired of fighting you, Morgana."

"Then end it." She stood straighter, pushing away from the tree and approaching Ryll. "Finish it." Her eyes flashed as she stood before Ryll. Ryll froze, her sword suddenly feeling too heavy to hold. Morgana stared her down, eyes defiant. "You can't do it, can you?"

Ryll lifted her sword to Morgana's neck. "You leave me no choice."

"We always have a choice. The question is whether you can make the right one." Ryll wasn't sure what that was anymore. "Do you kill someone who used to be a friend when she's defenseless and injured or let her go and hope she dies of her injuries?"

"I'm sure your magic will return."

"Ah, but if it was back now you could fight me on equal grounds." Morgana winced suddenly, her eyes going hazy. "You'd better hurry or you won't get the chance." Her voice weakened and she fell to her knees, her energy sapped. She looked up at Ryll through tangled hair. "Do it," she hissed.

Ryll raised her sword, looking straight into Morgana's eyes. Her blade did not fall though. Morgana's eyes closed and she slumped to the ground, unconscious. Ryll's sword fell to her side. "I can't do it," she said aloud. Whatever Morgana had done to her, Ryll could not take her life. A strong sense washed over her, and she realized that it was not her destiny. Emrys was her doom, not Ryll. That depended on whether or not Morgana survived her wounds. "I'll leave you to your fate," Ryll said finally. She sheathed her sword and left Morgana lying there. Her heart was heavy when she returned to the castle. Morgana's words were ringing in her ears. You only say that because Arthur doesn't know what you are yet. You haven't faced his judgment. Would Arthur accept the true her? Perhaps showing him that some good could come from magic was the first step in changing his opinion of it.

Something had changed in Ryll since she had been freed from Morgana's enchantment. She never wanted to feel forced to be someone she wasn't again. And that included hiding her magic from Arthur. Either Arthur was going to accept magic or he wasn't. Ryll had come too far to keep hoping he'd change his mind. He needed a push in the right direction. He needed a reason to believe that not all magic was evil. Ryll couldn't just go back to her old life. Not after all Morgana had put her through. She didn't know where she belonged anymore because she had somewhere along the line lost track of who she was. Was she a knight of Camelot or a sorceress? Was she a noblewoman or part Sidhe? Could she be all of those under Arthur's rule? She was tired of not knowing where she belonged. She needed answers.

She found Arthur and Merlin in the council chamber where she had left the king. Tristan was holding Isolde in his arms, and Ryll could see that she was dead. She felt the energy drain from her and leaned against one of the columns. Arthur and Gwen were looking at each other in a way that gave Ryll hope and made her want to start sobbing. She couldn't meet Merlin's eyes. She couldn't handle the sorrow in the room, so she left, wandering around the castle not really knowing where she was going. She found herself outside on the parapet. She was still holding her sword and she sheathed it after cleaning the blood from the blade. Blood stained her fingertips, and she wanted to purge herself of any signs of the battle. Instead she stood watching the people and knights start to put the city back in order.

"I thought you'd be with Merlin." Byron walked up behind Ryll, joining her at the wall.

"I don't know what to say to him."

"He doesn't blame you, you know."

"I know." Ryll looked down at her hands, folding them so that she couldn't see the blood. "I just feel like a different person," she said, looking over at Byron. "I can't explain it but I feel as if I've passed a point and can't go back."

"You're about to do something rash, aren't you?" Byron's voice was teasing, but his eyes were serious.

"I'm not sure if it's rash. I've thought about doing it for a long time but didn't have the nerve." She took a deep breath. "I'm going to tell Arthur I have magic."

"What?" Byron's response came out as choked surprise.

"He has a right to know. I'm a knight. He trusts us above almost anyone else. I feel like a fraud lying to him. He deserves better."

"And what if he has you executed?"

"You really think he would do that?" Ryll asked.

"No, but I think he might banish you or something like that. He's grown up to believe that magic is evil, and Morgana has all she can to support that belief. He might not like that you've lied to him all these years."

"Arthur needs to see that not all magic is evil and that some of us can't help that we have it."

"I heard Arthur say something awhile back when you were still under Morgana's enchantment," Byron told her. "He set a druid boy's spirit free by promising to respect the druid people. He was going to let the spirit kill him to atone for the deaths he had caused as a younger man. I think there is hope."

"There's more than hope. Arthur is not his father whatever Morgana might say."

Byron was silent for a long moment. "You know that you always have a place among my people if Arthur doesn't take it well. Or even if he does and you need a break from Camelot."

"Thank you, Byron. That means a lot to me. It might do me some good to be around people like me. To be accepted with no fear of judgment. To learn to use my powers for good. Maybe I've seen so much evil in this world that I need some time to remember that there is still a place for me. I want Camelot to need me not some vague idea of who I really am."

"Camelot will be here. You've done so much for it already."

"But I couldn't kill Morgana."

"You caught up to her?"

"In the woods. She was injured, weak. She had no use of her magic. I couldn't do it. Even though I knew that it would be the end of Camelot's troubles, the end of Arthur's troubles, I couldn't do it. I've foreseen that Arthur dies because of Morgana and yet I couldn't kill her. Maybe that's part of the reason I feel like I need some time to figure things out. I need to figure out how much I'm willing to do to save Camelot because today I had a chance, and I didn't take it."

"That doesn't make you a bad person," Byron told her.

"I have blood on my hands. Why couldn't I take one more life?" Ryll asked, holding out her hands for Byron to see the stains. Her voice broke as she spoke again. "Why couldn't I kill her after all she's done to me and to Arthur and to Merlin?"

Byron took her hands in his and met her eyes. "Because you're a good person and you remember when Morgana was good too. A faceless enemy is easy to take down. You don't know their name, their past, their future. But you do know Morgana. Perhaps you do even know her future and the part she plays in Arthur's possible fate. But you also know her past. You know the way Uther treated her, the way she felt when she learned she had magic. You knew the Morgana who would have put her life at risk to save those she cared about. You can't just erase that."

"What if Arthur dies because I couldn't kill her?"

"Ryll, why do you keep insisting that everything rests on your shoulders? The fate of the world and all the people in it do not rest on you alone." Concern was mingled with affection in his eyes.

"You know why I feel that some fates do rest on my shoulders."

"The prophecy about you giving your life for Arthur? We don't even know if that will come to pass."

"Fates have a way of catching up to people. Maybe it isn't his fate but mine. I carry it either way."

"You're worried that not killing Morgana set that fate into motion," Byron said, understanding flooding his eyes.

"Yes."

"We are faced with choices every day and we don't know what the results will be far into the future. All we can do is make the choice we feel is right at the time. You spared Morgana's life and perhaps that will make a difference in the future – perhaps even a good difference. But worrying about it the rest of your life isn't going to help anyone."

"I can't help it."

"Then you're never going to be happy. Ryll, you can't just fear your decisions and your fate every day of your life. That's not living. That's existing, constantly waiting for something bad to happen."

"Then how else do I live? How does one find happiness? Tell me, Byron because I have no idea. I seem to have a habit of losing everything that makes me happy."

"First you should talk to Merlin-"

"Not yet." She turned away, pulling her hands away from him.

"Why not?"

"Because it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do," she whispered.

"You're leaving him."

"I can't drag him down with me right now. I need time and space to figure things out. He can't be constantly worrying about me when he has Arthur to look out for. Morgana's still out there somewhere. I doubt she died of her injuries. She'll strike again, and when she does I don't want Merlin caught in the crossfire because he's my weakness. I don't want her to exploit that again."

"You know that's going to break his heart."

"I already broke his heart once. I'm trying to protect him."

"From you? Ryll, he loves you. He'd do anything to protect you."

"I know that. But it needs to be Arthur that he's protecting, not me. I would just get in the way. There was a time when he had to make the choice between Arthur and me, and he chose Arthur. As he should have. I don't want to make him have to decide again though. That's not fair to any of us."

"I think you're making a mistake."

"It's my mistake to make," Ryll told him. "All I ask is that you don't try to stop me. These are my decisions."

"I won't get in your way," Byron promised her. "When are you going to tell Arthur?"

"After things settle down. By the way Arthur and Gwen were looking at each other, I have a feeling the focus is going to be on the two of them very soon."

"And Merlin? When are you going to talk to him?"

"Soon," was all Ryll could reply with. She started to walk away.

"True love is worth fighting for, you know," Byron called after her.

"Sometimes it's not the battle that needs to be fought though," Ryll replied.