Dick Move

Naruto answered the door and was shocked by what he saw.

"Dairuko?!" Naruto exclaimed in shock as he looked over the two attractive girls on Dairuko's arms.

"Well... yeah who'd you expect?" Dairuko said while one of the girls began unzipping his jounin jacket.

"H-how? You were gone for 5 minutes."

"How what? Make sense man." Dairuko signalled for the girls to go wait for him inside while he dealt with Naruto.

"How'd you get those two in 5 minutes?"

"Oh. Well they were 2 minutes away so in actual fact I got them in 1 minute..." Dairuko trailed off in thought when he saw one of those girls' arms throw out her bra and a huge grin appeared on his face. Wondering what he saw Naruto was about to turn his head when Dairuko stopped him. "You need to leave right now."

"No way, I'm training, you should leave."

"You're meditating. It's best to meditate outside, trust me."

"No."

"My moral code does not allow you to be present while I do what I'm going to do to those women."

"Make me." Naruto folded his arms.

"Ok." Dairuko grabbed Naruto by the scruff of his collar, picked him up, opened a window and dropped him out. Dairuko then turned his attention back to the women who were beckoning him in a very seductive way. "Now where were we?" Dairuko smirked as he laid his jounin jacket down gently to avoid any damage to the room.

Dairuko was about to make his way into the room when there was a knock on the door.

"Oh come on!" he made his way to the door 'If this is Naruto I'm going to knock him out then throw him out the window.' Dairuko thought as he opened the door. All he saw was a glimpse of a shark man before he was sent flying across the room by a straight kick.

"Why did you do that, senpai?" Tobi asked.

"He bumped into me earlier. Damn stupid idiot." Kisame said.

"But we're after the Nine-Tails."

"OK not gonna lie. Dick move guys... dick move." Dairuko said as he stood up.

"Tell us where the Jinchuriki is and I promise not to kill you." Kisame said and Dairuko laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"What's funny is that you actually think I'm scared of your compensating sword and lollipop-faced boyfriend."

"Why you little..."

"Sorry, Sharky but unlike you... I ain't little." Dairuko smirked with an air of confidence that was driving Kisame insane.

"His name isn't Sharky it's Kisame, and I'm Tobi and you are a bad boy."

"Oh I'm the worst, just ask the girls in my room, however I cannot just give you Naruto."

"Then you can die." Kisame drew his sword.

"Ugly dies first you know that right?" Dairuko said before pulling an iron pipe from the wall causing water to explode out of it.

Dairuko took his stance and motioned for Kisame to come at him before the two ran toward each other. Dairuko dodged Kisame's sword swipes until he saw an opening. He ducked and brought the pipe down vertically and hit Kisame on the head, it wasn't a strong hit or even meant to do damage it was just to get under Kisame's skin and cause him to make mistakes instead, it made him more aggressive, his swings were stronger, more wide and faster. Dairuko realised he was sandwiched between Kisame and Tobi so he went on the offensive kicking Kisame's shin trying to hit Tobi with the pipe but it just went through him. Dairuko didn't have time to worry about that though he had to continue with his combination or else Kisame would get the upper hand. He then did a thrust attack with the pipe knocking Kisame onto his back.

Dairuko attempted to punch Tobi but he just phased through Tobi.

"Okay, now that is a cool jutsu. How do you do that?" Dairuko asked.

"Shhhhh it's a secret." Tobi said.

"Man, being untouchable must feel good huh?"

"Tobi can be touched."

"I doubt that."

"I'll prove it." Tobi said and allowed Dairuko to put his arm around the masked Akatsuki member's shoulders.

"I like you, Tobi."

"Gee I like you to uhm..."

"Dairuko."

"TOBI, stop talking with the enemy!" Kisame yelled.

"Correction I'm not the enemy I'm your enemy I got nothing against my man Tobi here."

"See, senpai perfectly fi-" Tobi was cut off by Dairuko punching him through the walls.

"Sorry about that Tobi, I really do like but you're his partner so yeah." Dairuko turned to Kisame "Now, shall we continue?"

Kisame charged at Dairuko who brought up his pipe in defence but to no avail as Kisame's attack cut the pipe in two. He took advantage of the moment and almost bisected Dairuko who just managed to escape but had a long cut across his stomach.

"I really liked that shirt." Dairuko growled, finally noticing that he wasn't wearing his weighted jacket. "Oh man I've been fighting so slow and I didn't even know it."

Dairuko shifted his chakra into his legs to increase his speed and in a second he was behind Kisame. "Over here, ugly." and before Kisame could react Dairuko punched him in the face knocking Kisame across the hall. "What's the matter? Can't keep up?"

"Water Style: Water Shark Bomb jutsu." Kisame exclaimed and three water sharks 'swam' through the air toward Dairuko. For an average ninja the enclosed space would pose a problem but Dairuko wasn't your average ninja. He ran towards the water sharks which seemed to be moving in slow motion to him, and he was able to time his movements as he ran across the wall onto the ceiling before coming down with an axe kick that Kisame just narrowly dodged. He then countered with his sword that Dairuko managed to catch but as Dairuko was holding it he could feel his chakra being drained at this time the bandaged sword began to be not-so-bandaged anymore as it almost impaled Dairuko's hands.

Dairuko released his grip on the sword and looked at his hands that were covered in blood. Kisame took another swing at him but Dairuko evaded it by jumping back, then he just stood up straight and side stepped which confused Kisame because he didn't attack. The next thing he knew the hall began to look like the insides of something.

"You know the drill, Dairuko don't move." Jiraiya said.

"What is this?!" Kisame demanded.

"Usually I would tell you the name of my jutsu and then explain how it works but I'm pressed for time." Big, fat, pink tentacles came at Kisame who tried to out run them but they just kept coming even as he sliced those too close, and it seemed as though he wouldn't escape when out of nowhere -literally out of nowhere- Tobi reappeared and phased both of them through a wall to escape.

"Well shit." Dairuko said "I was wondering when he'd come back into the fray."

"What're they after?"

"Him." Dairuko pointed at Naruto.

"Me?" Naruto gave a confused look "Why me?"

"Because you're a jinchuriki."

"Why do they want jinchuriki's I wonder." Jiraiya mused.

"You can ponder that... I need to wash my hands." Dairuko went back into their room and washed his hands then bandaged them up. He walked out to see the two girls he had brought with him... all over Jiraiya. "You old bastard."

"Hey don't hate the player."

Dairuko felt a shift in the wind that probably only he would notice because he'd become quite familiar with the technique that causes it. As a result, Dairuko crouched down and Jiraiya cast his student a sideways glance then looked up in time to see a foot just before it collided with his face; Itachi soon followed.

"Dynamic Entry!" Gai stood there not paying attention to who he hit, just to the fact that Dairuko had dodged it "Good job, Dairuko. I see the time away from your training with me hasn't made you soft or slow."

"Of course not! I'm not a slacker like you, I seem to recall that before I left I could just barely dodge that now I sensed it well before time."

"That's because I needed to test you at the lowest level. I promise next time will be much harder and faster."

"Well then I look forward to a real challenge." Dairuko said at which time the two girls realised Jiraiya was out-cold and they moved toward the man who did it... Gai. Dairuko and Naruto both dropped their jaws in shock that Might Gai has stolen two girls from Dairuko and Jiraiya and still rejected them saying something about training and youth and other 'Gai' stuff.

"Are you all okay?" Itachi asked.

"I'm fine." Naruto replied.

"Nothing that won't heal." Dairuko replied.

"Only my pride isn't okay." Jiraiya groaned, coming to. "Itachi, search the area for them. I doubt they got far."

"Alright." Itachi said before turning into crows and flying out the window and in different directions. While he was gone, Jiraiya explained to Gai what the two were after. Dairuko then turned to Jiraiya and asked,

"Did you find out where Tsunade is?"

"Yeah she was headed to another village, about a week's journey from here."

"Is that good news?"

"Yes she only left two days ago."

"Then we can still catch her before she gets there if we hurry."

"No sign of them." Itachi said as he reappeared.

"That's impossible! It wasn't even three minutes ago; how could they have-" Jiraiya was cut off by Itachi.

"I don't know."

"How about we ponder this while on the road because eventually the inn is going to realise I caused this damage and I'd hate to have sensei pay for it." Dairuko said.

"So why don't you pay, Dairuko?" Jiraiya asked.

"You're the sensei here you need to take responsibility for your students man." Dairuko's last sentence made Jiraiya think of all the times he had to pay Dairuko just because Dairuko had a good persuasion face.

"Alright pack your things we're leaving."

"But we didn't even eat yet." Naruto objected.

"We can eat on the road let's go." Jiraiya's voice indicated that this wasn't a discussion.

"Sensei." Itachi said.

"Yes?"

"I need to speak with you about the attackers."

"Alright." Jiraiya replied and they stepped out of ear shot.

"Those men attacked the Leaf before coming here."

"How bad are the damages? Any casualties?"

"Only Kakashi was badly injured but there was no structural damage."

"That's good... is that all?"

"No."

"Oh?"

"The masked one... he has a Sharingan."

"What?! You're telling me that there's another Uchiha out there?"

"Or someone whose stolen a Sharingan."

"When we get back from this I will look into it personally and I'll keep my ear to the ground."

"Thank you, sensei."

"We'd better go report our findings." Itachi said as they returned to where the others were. He and Gai began to walk away when Dairuko called him back, he sent Gai ahead and turned back to Dairuko.

"Why are you here?" Dairuko asked.

"What do you me-"

"Why are you not with Natsuki? I told you to stay with her."

"Dairuko, I was given this mission."

"And what about my sister?" Dairuko was beginning to raise his voice.

"She's safe. I made sure of it." Itachi said still keeping his cool "You need to trust me, Dairuko."

"I trust you, I don't trust anyone else."

"I trust them so trust my judgement."

"Bah."

"I seem to recall that one of your most trusted 'friends' is a thief whose almost gotten us killed on more than one occasion."

"Hey Yuu has given us mountains of useful information, saved our lives on more than one occasion and she's given a lot of good, late-night adventures... if you know what I mean." Itachi smiled to himself at Dairuko's defence.

"You are a man-whore."

"You know it." Dairuko smirked.

"Unfortunately I do." Itachi smirked.

"Itachi, you look after her now."

"I will. You need to worry about yourself."

"Hey it's me we're talking about."

"Exactly. It's you."

"That's a bit low don't you think?"

"No... be careful, Dairuko."

"I will, mom." both of them gave a slight chuckle before parting ways.