A/N: Ok, we're at the movies now! The italics are the dialogue within the movies and they're not mine. I just write around them. The next chapter may take longer to post since I need to edit some stuff. I have a feeling I'm missing something with my approach to Loki. If anyone has any advice to give, please let me know! I'm here to improve my writing, and welcome critical reviews. Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter Five: Hit the ground running
"Know your place, brother," Thor said.
Loki stepped back. He was back in time! What had he said to Thor? Something about thinking and being outnumbered. He also felt a sharp stab of resentment towards his brother, which caught him off guard.
He really hadn't felt that much resentment towards Thor at all or for many months, really. Not since his nightmares, at least, and especially not while being occupied with trying to save him and the rest of Asgard.
His brow furrowed in confusion before he realized the feeling was from the past him. He had felt resentment towards Thor for being crowned King of Asgard over him. He didn't realize how strong that resentment used to be and could feel how much it had diminished over time.
It was the reason they were in Jotunheim, surrounded by Jotun's and addressing its king; Loki's biological father. He had manipulated the actions of his brother because he knew him so well. He knew, without much doubt, that Thor's own actions would jeopardize his position of becoming king in the end.
Loki didn't know he would have to deal with his past emotions as well as trying to change the past. He mentally geared himself towards the upcoming barrage of resentful feelings he had mostly gotten over already. He could overcome them now that he was, at least mentally, older.
But why did the Time keeper send him back so much? Surely only a few months would have been enough time to stop Thor's and Asgard's bizarre illness from happening.
Maybe the being had his own agenda. He quickly realized that was an understatement. Of course the being had its own plans and goals. Loki did agree, in a way, to help the creature before being sent back. But Loki didn't know specifics and did not have the time to dwell on the matter.
"You know not what your actions will unleash," Laufey said, pulling Loki back to the present.
Loki could not agree more.
"I do," Laufey went on, a haunted look in his eyes. Loki briefly wondered what his biological father was seeing. Something during the past war, no doubt.
"Go now," Laufey continued, "while I still allow it."
Loki decided to go along with answering for his brother as he had before. He knew this would not end well, but he had to at least try. This time he sincerely meant what he said.
"We will accept," Loki said, keeping close to his brother, "your most gracious offer."
Out of the corner of his eye, Loki saw Thor look at him, then back at Laufey.
"Come on, brother," Loki said, very low, as he turned to walk away.
Though he knew what the king would say later to anger Thor, Loki was glad when Thor complied and they headed back towards the way they came.
The fighting that ensued went the same way it did the first time. Though Loki knew his reflexes were better than what they currently were, he still felt mildly frustrated that they were the same as his past body would allow. He would have to practice a little to get them to move a bit faster.
"Don't let them touch you," came the warning through the cold wind that Loki heard this time around.
As he attacked the Frost Giant in front of him, it grabbed him roughly by the forearm and crumbled the metal and fabric until skin was touched. Loki knew his arm and hand would turn blue, and did not hesitate to take down his opponent.
A wave of dismay, confusion, and disorientation hit him. His past self's feelings on discovering he was not of Asgard.
Loki briefly closed his eyes, trying his hardest to will it away. Upon the cry of one of Thor's friends as he was cut through the shoulder with ice, he swiftly took care of the oncoming giants that headed towards the warrior.
While fighting, Loki became aware that he was holding back. And out of habit.
"We must go!" he shouted at Thor, putting the thought towards the back of his mind as the situation became dourer. He knew what would happened in the end of their journey to Jotunheim, but he didn't want to realize just how much his own insecurities had been holding him back while in the middle of battle.
In all honesty, despite not being as quick in his reflexes as his future body was, he was actually as strong as Thor. Not as strong as Thor with Mjolnir, but he could definitely hold his own against his brother without the hammer.
"Then go!" Thor yelled back, slamming his hammer into the near Frost Giant. It was clear he was not ready to leave anytime soon.
Loki sighed in frustration. He sort of wished his brother had already been to Midgard for his change of heart regarding fighting. Thor was thinking like a warrior only, just as Odin had said.
'What an annoying prat,' Loki thought, running with the warriors three and Sif towards where the Bifrost let them down earlier.
It wasn't long before Odin came and took them back to Asgard by the Bifrost. Not too soon either, with how they were surrounded by Frost Giants that were about to rip them apart.
"There won't be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act," Thor responded to Odin's questioning of his actions once they had returned.
Loki, though he knew he could have gone with the others, chose to stay once more. Thor was about to be banished.
"The Jotun's must learn to fear me, just as they once feared you," Thor continued.
Loki shifted uncomfortably where he stood. He had almost the same position as Thor did towards the Midgardians. He had wanted them to kneel, to fear him as a god. Had he really been that blind? And the Infinity Stone could only be blamed so much.
"That's pride and vanity talking, not leadership," Odin said.
Loki almost glared up at the Allfather, grudgingly agreeing with him. His future self may not love Odin anymore, but a part of himself did respect the wisdom the god had received from his journey long ago to the roots of Yggdrasil.
"You have forgotten everything I've taught you about a warrior's patience," Odin said.
"While you wait and be patient," Thor went on arrogantly, "the Nine Realms laugh at us. The old ways are done. You'd stand giving speeches while Asgard falls."
Loki didn't know what to make of his brother's view. He didn't think the other realms knew a great deal about the small attack that the Frost Giants made on Asgard. He could be wrong, though, since they did leave to go to Jotunheim and didn't know the gossip going around. Still, his brother wouldn't have heard about it since they were both gone at the same time.
Loki concluded it was an imagined slight that Thor actually believed. Asgard was a great realm, surely, but to think that the other realms knew every detail about its affairs was bordering on ludicrous.
To Loki's private dismay, he knew how Thor felt. His slights from other Asgardians towards him, though minor, did cut at him. Well, had cut at him before they were kneeling at his feet when he was disguised as Odin.
Even though the satisfaction felt nice for a time it wasn't all that great when he reflected on it in his spare moments of ruling disguised as Odin.
Petty slights were what they really were, he had realized, and weren't dignified enough to have a response. In all actuality, it would be him stooping to their level by being bothered by it.
'I have changed,' he thought, remembering what the keeper of time had said to him in the cave.
"You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy," Odin berated, cutting off Loki's inner thoughts.
Odin was right again, Loki knew. Thor had not changed yet. He had yet to learn how to rule Asgard.
"And you are an old man, and a fool," Thor snarled back, clearly offended, and full of righteous rage.
There was no way Loki did not know he had to let Thor go back to Earth and to remain there until he changed. It was necessary for the future of Asgard. 'Not that I can very well stop Odin from banishing him, anyways,' he thought.
"Yes," Odin said, his face cast down. "I was a fool to think you were ready."
Loki didn't know why he did it, but he felt his body moving before he could stop himself. He stepped towards Odin.
"Father-
But before he could speak more, Odin practically snarled at him, clearly saying that Loki was not part of the conversation.
'Of course,' he thought, 'this is a conversation between a father and his real son.'
Apart from the near disgust at calling Odin 'Father,' Loki wondered why he was stung, before he remembered that the past him still felt some love towards Odin. It was currently at war with his future's-self feelings towards the Allfather, but he knew his love would soon be gone. There was no room in his heart for the old ruler.
"Thor Odinson," Odin continued, speaking to Thor, "you have betrayed the express command of your king. Through you arrogance and stupidity, you've opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war!"
Loki thought about his own actions towards Earth. His decision to go against Midgard for spite and domination really weren't that different from Thor's actions against Jotunheim.
They were both very arrogant and stupid to try and rule other beings by force. And he had brought so much horror and desolation to humans by bringing war to them.
Did he not cause the same pain and suffering to the Midgardians that he had witnessed when he had checked on Thor after his terrible dreams? Was he not the very source for many of those in mourning for their deceased loved ones?
He felt sick. How could he not have realized he was no better, and even worse, than Thor currently was? He did feel like a monster in this moment.
Not a Frost Giant monster; that was absurd. It took him a long while to admit being a Frost Giant did not equal being a brute. If that were true, he would have been killing and spreading mayhem long before he found out about his true heritage.
Still though, a part of him recoiled at the thought of being a Frost Giant. The old part, especially, if not his current self as well, if he were being truly honest. But such thoughts were for later.
No Jotun monster was the pure cause of this. Simply a monster for being a coward under Thanos' thumb instead of denying allying with him. What had he been thinking? The Infinity Stone had clouded his judgement, but didn't make up his mind for him.
But then, there was the torture he had gone through. The starvation, the cruel slicing, cutting, beating, and countless other actions that he had to endure before he was even taken before Thanos. There his will began to bend under that madman's power and what he had endured before felt like a regular day in body combat by comparison. A fight of the mind was much harder than a fight with the body.
He brought his thoughts back to the present. He didn't want to think about those long weeks at the moment. Plus, he was here for Thor. A Thor who did not look upon others as equals if they did not think like he did. A Thor who did not see humans as worth much. Just as he used to.
But now Loki did not believe that humans were that much lesser than he was. Well, lesser in the way a cat can be compared to a lion, perhaps. But both creatures were living beings. He did not believe that they needed to die. Not needlessly, at least.
'And I had the audacity to think you the fool,' Loki thought as he watched his brother be dishonored before him.
He tried to harden his heart against the distraught look on Thor's face at his disgracing by Odin. It was difficult to watch.
'Thor has to go to Midgard,' Loki told himself. 'He needs to learn to be a proper ruler for the realm. For himself.'
"You are unworthy!" Odin was saying, almost done with stripping Thor of his armor. "Of the loved ones you have betrayed."
Loki looked between Thor and Odin, feeling resentful once again, but quickly squashing the feeling. He already knew Odin loved Thor enough to display such outrage. This was nothing new to his knowledge.
What bothered him was the sentence.
'Unworthy of loved ones betrayed,' he thought. To have betrayal you needed trust. Odin had his trust once, but never again. But had Loki betrayed Thor?
'Yes,' Loki concluded immediately, unable to justify himself. 'Thor trusted me to love him and respect him. To bring no harm to the realm he was to protect. I betrayed his trust. And all because I was hurt, jealous, and resentful. So eager to prove myself a great entity.'
Loki tried to steel himself from seeing, once again, his brother cast out. He didn't think he succeeded when Thor was thrust away through the Bifrost.
As he watched Mjolnir thrown after, evidence that Odin believed his son to find worthiness, Loki felt both hope and his old anger once again.
'Of course,' he thought snidely, 'Thor would have the opportunity to get Mjolnir back.'
'An opportunity,' he went on, squashing the bitterness, 'that I will help him with.'
He would help Thor get Mjolnir back. And he wouldn't let his jealousy of Thor and Odin's relationship get in his way. It was going to be hard, he knew, but he had to save Thor and Asgard. It's what he went back in time for, after all.
'My work is cut out for me.'