I woke up feeling Richard's arms around me and for a moment was in heaven, until I remembered.
Richard was quiet. He went and fetched us some porridge and mugs of tea and we sat on his bed eating.
"I'm so sorry Soph." He looked distraught.
"What are we going to do?" I wondered allowed.
"We have no choice." Richard said quietly.
I looked at him with horror.
"Juliette's right. The damage is already being done. There isn't time to get you to safety before it could kill you. I never thought I could father a child. It never even went through my mind. I didn't yearn for one. But...now it's happened, i'm completely devastated about what we have to do." He said soberly.
"NO!" I protested. "I am not going to terminate this baby. I WOULD RATHER IT KILLED ME" I shouted.
"BUT I WON'T HAVE THAT." Richard shouted back. "I WILL NOT LOSE YOU." He looked like he was close to tears. I got up abruptly, and stormed out of the tent. I waited for 10 minutes but became impatient so went to look for him.
I found him staring at the fire alone. A few people were busying themselves around camp, but must have known to leave him alone. Everyone was silent. I approached him and touched his cheek.
"Please don't be mad at me, I don't want to fight. But i'm not going to let them kill our baby. I need you to support me on this." I said.
"I can't do that. You're too important to me." Richard replied forcefully, and he walked away from me. I was left by the fire alone. People around the camp looked over. They were probably dying to know what was going on. They must have heard us arguing in the tent too.
I sat, pondering on the situation. As more time went on, the more adamant I was that I was going to keep the baby. It was strange, but despite all of the horror stories Juliette had told me, something inside me told me that it was going to be ok.
I went to find Richard. He'd walked out of camp although was now out of sight, and I found a path that led in the general direction he'd gone. People saw me leave although nobody attempted to stop me.
I walked for about ten minutes and eventually came to a lake. I caught him out the corner of my eye, sitting on a log and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked up...but it wasn't Richard. It was Jacob.
I stepped back in surprise, and Jacob smiled at me.
"Hello Sophie." He said casually. As before, there seemed a sense of calm and serenity that surrounded him.
I hadn't seen any sign of him since our first meeting when I arrived at the barracks. Richard went off to see him frequently, though never offered to take me, and I got the impression I wouldn't be allowed to go anyway. It seemed very few people got to meet Jacob. I guessed he had a special gift just like Richard, considering Richard had told me that it was Jacob that had made him the way he was.
"Hi." I managed.
"So you found the barracks?" He grinned.
I wasn't in the mood for small talk. Despite being in the very rare presence of Jacob, and having the unique opportunity to talk to him, there was still only one thing on my mind, and tears began to stream from my face.
"Hey, whats up?" Jacob asked, resting his hand on my shoulder to comfort me.
"I'm pregnant." I sobbed. "And everyone seems to want me to have a termination - even Richard. Apparently if I don't I will die."
"Hush now." Jacob soothed. "Everything will be alright. But you must remain strong, and you must make them listen to you. It's very important that you do. I have to go now. You take care." And in the blink of an eye he was gone. As if vanishing into thin air.
Something about his words struck a chord with me, and I knew he was right. I knew that I must protect my baby at all costs.
There were footsteps behind me, and I looked round to see Richard looking relieved.
"I've been looking for you, I was worried about you. People said they saw you walk out of camp. I wish you'd stop going off on your own." He said.
I smiled up at him, took his hand, and pulled him down to sit by me.
"Everything is going to be alright. I need you to trust me." I told him, and kissed him on his cheek soothingly. He looked unconvinced but must have decided that arguing with me was getting him nowhere.
We went back to camp and met back up with Juliette, who had also stopped nagging me, for now at least.
Richard decided that we would stay at camp tonight, and then he would take us home early in the morning.
"I want to live here with you." I said.
"I would like that more than anything." He replied. "But I want you safe and sound at the barracks, where no harm can come to you and where you will be looked after." And for once I didn't protest. Now it wasn't just me I had to think about, and I needed to do what was best for the little bean growing inside me.
We sat around camp for the rest of the day. Richard stayed close to me at all times, but was quiet and didn't bring up the subject again. Not much seemed to be going on. I don't think the people here had known about me and Richard as they looked pretty surprised when they each realised. They sensed that something was going on and were probably dying to know. But this was a private matter between me and Richard, and unfortunately Juliette.
Night fell, and after a meal of wild boar, we retired to Richard's tent. Juliette had been put in the tent at the edge of the camp that I had been given the last time I was here. I felt a bit sorry for her, though only slightly as she was still trying to kill my baby as far as I was concerned.
We snuggled into Richard's little camp bed. He was still distant, and I held him in my arms and tried to sooth him.
"I don't want to loose you." He finally whispered.
"You won't." I replied. But I could tell he was still doubtful.
We drifted off to sleep.