Well, guess what? I had more time this weekend than I thought I would. So, I celebrated that free time by writing chapter 4! I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks for all the reviews on the previous three chapters. Over 100 reviews on so few chapters in unbelievable. I sooooo appreciate it. Let me know what you think of this one too. Please remember that when things don't go as planned in my stories, there is always a reason. Thanks :)

December 19, 2014 6:45 AM

Olivia woke up and looked at the clock, fully expecting the persistent nausea of the last few days to send her running to the bathroom, but it didn't. She felt better…at least well enough that she wasn't scared of throwing up all over the place. She saw a package of crackers on the night stand and smiled, knowing Elliot had expected her to feel awful as well. She opened them and nibbled on one, hoping to be proactive against the queasiness that was sure to hit at any moment, and then she climbed out of bed and walked into the living room to check on Noah.

Elliot was sitting on the sofa, his back to her and she could see Noah was still asleep, so she didn't move. Instead she watched Elliot, his head lowered as he talked to someone on the phone. He was obviously agitated, but he was trying to stay quiet, presumably to keep from waking the baby. "I don't know why…" she heard him say. "Because…I wanted to help her…" and she knew he was telling Kathy about the baby. She didn't move…she couldn't interrupt their conversation, but she couldn't make herself leave either. She knew Kathy would be angry at first, but she hoped she'd come around and realize this was a good thing for all of them. "Kath…listen…" he tried to reason with her. "I was wrong. I know that…but it doesn't change anything. She's pregnant…" He ran his hand along the back of his head nervously, "This baby is going to save Eli. Do you understand that? Her baby will save our son…I just know it." He sighed, "Please don't forget that." He gave a weak nod, "Yeah…I told her I'd go with her to the doctor this morning…I'll find out details about the procedure then. I promise…and then I'll meet you at the hospital." He cleared his throat, "Tell Eli I love him."

He turned and saw her standing there and forced a sad smile, "Hey…how are you doing this morning? Are you still sick? Do you need anything?"

She shook her head and walked into the room, sitting in the chair across from him, "Kathy's mad isn't she?" she asked.

"She's…confused…" he said, walking into the kitchen and pouring a cup of coffee. "Can't say that I blame her."

"You told her my baby would save your son," Olivia sighed.

"Our baby, Liv," he insisted. "It just came out wrong."

She shook her head, "No…it is my baby. Last night, maybe it was just because I felt so awful, but I let myself get too dependent on you to take care of things. I never planned on you being here for all this, El. I don't need someone to take care of me or my kids."

"Last night you said I was the baby's father," he reminded her. "And I am…whether you want me here or not. That baby wouldn't be here without me, Liv. You can't deny that."

She sighed, "I know…I'm just…" she felt a tear slide down her cheek. "I don't want to depend on you and then have you decide all of the sudden that you want no part of this."

"I wouldn't do that," he argued.

"Not even if the baby isn't a match?" she asked sadly.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"You keep saying this baby is going to save Eli," she sighed. "But what if the baby isn't a match for your son, El. What if Eli doesn't get better because this baby couldn't save him? I'm afraid you'll regret this child and I can't go through that."

"Damn you," he slammed down his coffee cup. "This is my baby, Olivia…and I have no doubt it will be a match for Eli too. I have to believe that because if I don't…I have no hope anymore. So please don't say that it might not match or that Eli might not get better."

She nodded, "Yeah…" she stood up and walked toward the hall. "You just proved my point, El." She sighed, "You can come with me to the doctor and ask all your questions…but then, I just want you to go be with your son. You should be with him…not with me. He needs you and you need that time with him. I'll be fine on my own."

He watched her walk down the hall to her room and he knew he'd screwed up. He loved that baby…and that's what he should have said, but when she mentioned the possibility that Eli might not get better he'd lost all rational thought. He thought about going after her, but that would probably be a mistake. She needed time to herself and so did he…because for the first time since he'd discovered she was pregnant, he was forced to think about what would happen if the baby couldn't save Eli, and he didn't know how he'd react if and when that happened. The idea scared him.

It was a half hour before she emerged from the bedroom again, dressed in jeans and a light sweater that clung to all her curves and Elliot could tell she was self-conscious about it by the way she kept pulling at the sweater, trying to make it look looser. "You look nice," he said, hoping she'd believe him, but she just walked over to the crib and woke Noah up, changing his diaper and sitting him in his high chair. "So, you're not gonna talk to me anymore?" he asked as she cut up Noah's bananas for breakfast and scattered them on the high chair tray. "Liv…I'm sorry. I love the baby…I swear…"

"I know you do," she finally said with little enthusiasm.

"I want the baby to save Eli," he admitted. "I won't pretend like that isn't first and foremost on my mind…because Liv…my son is dying. This is his last chance. If this doesn't work, he won't be here at this time next year…" his eyes filled with tears that he couldn't hold back.

"El…" she cried, "I want that too. I want this baby to save Eli…more than anything. You have to know that."

"I do," he said, pulling her into an embrace as she rested her head on his chest and soaked his shirt with tears. "I'm sorry, Liv. You shouldn't have to be so upset…not now…you should be happy right now. You're having a baby…and this time should be about that. About you and this little one…"

She pulled away from his hug, brushing away her tears, "No," she shook her head. "It's about all of us…me, you, the baby, Noah, Eli…even Kathy. This affects all of us, El." She sighed, "And I'm so scared of letting everyone down if the baby isn't a match…but I can take it if you're disappointed in me. I just can't take you being disappointed in the baby."

"I won't be disappointed in anyone," he promised. "I'll just be disappointed in life." He watched as she fidgeted with her sweater again and he forced a smile, "Why do you keep pulling at that sweater?"

She shrugged, "It doesn't fit…"

"It looks fine," he assured her.

"My boobs are huge," she pulled the sweater away from her chest and saw the chuckle he was holding back. "I'm serious…none of my bras fit all of the sudden, and so everything I wear looks like I'm popping out of it." She looked down at herself, "And they hurt so damn bad…I can't even try to adjust them…" she looked up at him. "That was probably too much information, huh?" she laughed.

He shook his head with a playful smirk, "I'm always happy to discuss your boobs…anytime you want." She smacked him playfully and then opened the fridge, looking through the items. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm starving," she said, pouring a glass of chocolate milk and grabbing a container of Chinese food from the night before and opening it, pulling a fork from the drawer and taking a bite.

"Last night the smell of that made you throw up," Elliot reminded her. "And this morning you are eating it cold…with chocolate milk?" He shook his head in defeat.

"I'm starving…" she said with a grin. "And the baby likes it cold."

December 19, 2014 9:00AM

"I wish I hadn't eaten that damn Chinese food," Olivia groaned, her hand on her stomach, as they sat in the waiting room of the fertility clinic. "I feel awful…"

"Are you gonna be sick?" Elliot asked, "Because if so, the restroom is way down the hall and we probably ought to make our way there now before it's too late."

"I just need to close my eyes for a while," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder and taking a few deep breaths. She felt Elliot put his arm around her and rest his other hand on her stomach, and the comfort of having him so close made her feel better. She hated that she needed him, and she didn't want to admit it, but she couldn't imagine dealing with this on her own.

A few minutes later the nurse came and called her back, and as much as she wanted to stay snuggled in Elliot's arms she forced herself to get up from the chair and follow the woman back. "Turn around…" she insisted as Elliot stared at her while the nurse asked her to climb on the scale. "My weight is none of your business."

"Really Liv?" he asked with a laugh. "You're kidding, right?"

"I'm not kidding," she insisted. "It's bad enough I'm blowing up like a balloon…I don't need you watching the scale too."

He rolled his eyes and turned around while the nurse took her weight, "You weigh the exact same as last time, Olivia," the nurse said gently. "Stop worrying so much."

"My pants were tight yesterday," she admitted. "And my bra doesn't fit anymore."

"Your body is changing," the nurse explained. "But it doesn't necessarily mean you are gaining anything…and even if you had put on a few pounds it would still be within the normal range. You don't need to worry…you're doing fine." They followed the nurse down another hallway and into the examination room. She asked Olivia to sit on the examination table while she took her blood pressure, "Everything looks good so far," the nurse smiled, "Are there any concerns you have…have you been feeling okay?"

"I feel fine," Olivia said, but Elliot interrupted her.

"She's not fine," he said. "She's been sick for two days and last night she fainted."

"Do you feel sick now?" the nurse asked gently.

Olivia nodded, "A little…but I think I'm okay."

"I'll let the doctor know," she smiled. "Morning sickness can be brutal so we want to stay on top of it." She handed her a gown, "Put this on and the doctor will be in shortly."

She waited for the nurse to leave and then looked angrily at Elliot, "I can speak for myself," she sputtered.

"You can?" his sarcasm shining through, "You told her you were fine. You can't lie in here Liv…you have to tell them to truth so they can help you and take care of the baby."

"I am fine," she argued, climbing down from the table and looking at the pink cotton gown. "Turn around so I can change."

He rolled his eyes and turned to face the door. "This is going to be a long nine months," he snickered. She climbed back onto the examination table and he turned around to face her. "You know, if you can talk to me about how much your boobs hurt you should be able to change in front of me. We're having a baby. I'm going to see things." He said teasingly.

"We'll see about that," she put her hand to her stomach and sighed. "I wish the doctor would hurry. I'm not feeling so great."

"I thought you were fine," he reminded her.

"Shut up, Elliot," she argued. "You can leave if you're going to torment me the whole time we're here."

"Hey…I'm just teasing you," he said gently. "I'm sorry…why are you so testy all of the sudden? Ever since we got here…"

"Because," she said sadly. "I'm scared…okay…every single time I come here there's a chance they'll tell me something is wrong, or I'm going to lose the baby. I hate this place."

He took her hand and held it, "Everything is fine," he promised. "You know how sick you've been? That's actually a sign that the baby is really healthy. We're going to have a perfect little baby."

"I hope so," she nodded.

"I know so," he smiled.

"Hello Olivia," the doctor walked in and smiled. "This must be Elliot?" he asked, reaching out and shaking his hand. "We spoke on the phone last night." He looked over Olivia's chart and then back at her, "I didn't know your child's father was involved," he said.

"It's a recently new development," Olivia admitted, giving Elliot an annoyed glance. "And he shouldn't have called you last night."

"You were ill," the doctor said. "Passing out can't be ignored." He took a small light and looked in her eyes, "Have you fainted any other time…before or after last night."

"No…just last night," she admitted. "I felt sick…then things started spinning."

"You've had some nausea and vomiting?" he asked. "How often?"

She shrugged, "The nausea started maybe four days ago…the vomiting yesterday. I thought it was normal…pregnant women throw up, right?"

He smiled, "Yes, it's normal. We just don't want you getting dehydrated." He looked back at her chart, "Your hormone levels are extremely high. I've been looking over your bloodwork and it looks like you have really high numbers…we should be safe to stop the shots."

"What if I lose the baby?" she asked nervously. "Stopping too early can cause a miscarriage. You told me that. You said I should stay on it until at least eight weeks maybe more."

"The hormones help maintain the pregnancy," he explained, "but your body is obviously producing them on its own. No reason to worry." He smiled, "And I'd bet you'll start feeling better too." He could tell she still seemed nervous, "If you don't feel comfortable stopping, we can keep you on them. Just know you won't be feeling better for a while."

She looked at Elliot who nodded, "It's up to you," he said. "Whatever you're most comfortable with."

She sighed, "I think I want to keep taking the shots. I can handle the morning sickness and I want to make sure this baby is okay." She looked seriously at the doctor, "We need to talk to you about something else. Elliot's son…he has leukemia…and we've heard the baby might be able to donate cord blood that could help him…"

"That's not my area of expertise," the doctor said quickly. "I do know cord blood from a half-sibling is usually similar enough to match…but there are a lot of different factors. If the baby were to be born premature or if they can't get enough blood in the sample…you wouldn't be able to donate then. Also, you'd have to be in perfect health for them to even consider it. Right now things look great, but you can never predict how things will progress."

"Are you saying we can't do this?" Elliot asked. "This baby can't save my son?"

"No…I'm not saying that at all," the doctor said seriously. "If everything falls into place, this could happen for you…I just want you to know it's not a guarantee and you'll need to talk with a specialist. Once I clear you to return to your OB, you can talk with her about finding a cord blood banking specialist."

"Okay," Olivia gave a weak smile. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see then," she looked at Elliot who had obvious disappointment on his face. He'd wanted to hear more reassuring news than that, "El…it's gonna work. I swear, I'm going to do all I can to carry the baby to term and stay healthy the whole time. I promise you…"

"I know," he faked a smile and took her hand. "I know you will. It'll work out."

"I'd like to do an ultrasound today," the doctor added. "We had you scheduled for one next week, so we might as well do it today. We might be able to see the heartbeat…"

"Really?" Olivia asked. "Already?"

"Sometimes we can pick it up this early," he smiled. "Lean back on the table…and I'll be back in a minute," he said as he opened the door.

Olivia leaned back, resting her head on the pillow at the top of the examination table. "Are you excited to see the baby?" she asked, hoping to see the excitement she'd seen in his eyes before the doctor told them there were no guarantees when it came to cord blood donation.

"Yeah," he smiled more genuinely this time, "Of course…I can't wait to see this baby."

The doctor returned a moment later with the nurse and they set up for the ultrasound. "It's early…so this will be trans-vaginal," the nurse said, helping her place her feet in the stirrups. "Are you doing okay?" she asked gently.

Olivia nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine." She turned to Elliot, "Hold my hand?" she asked nervously and he stood beside her and grabbed her hand in his.

"Everything's fine," he said softly. "It'll put your mind at ease when you see that little heartbeat flicker."

She winced a little as they slid the ultrasound probe inside her and then she turned to look at the screen. She didn't know what she was looking at, so all she could do was wait for the doctor to explain. She looked at Elliot's face, thinking he might have more luck than her at interpreting what they were looking at since he was already the father of five, but he looked as confused as her. The doctor stared at the screen, took measurements, and had the nurse record it on her chart. She couldn't read his face, and she was afraid.

"Olivia," he said, finally and she wished his tone could give some insight into the situation. "I think we've discovered the cause of your high hormone levels."

"Is something wrong?" Elliot asked anxiously.

"No," the doctor assured them. "Everything looks good…this is a healthy pregnancy." He sighed, "But we did transfer two embryos and remember, I told you there was a small chance…"

"Oh God…" Olivia's face paled with realization. "No…"

The doctor nodded, "There are two…" he pointed to the screen. "Baby A is right here…that little flicker is one healthy heartbeat," he slid his finger slightly, "And this is Baby B…another good heartbeat for six weeks."

"Twins?" Elliot asked, his face almost as pale as Olivia's. He looked at her, "Why did you transfer two? Did you want twins?"

"I insisted we do two," the doctor said seriously. "At her age, the chance of getting one baby the first try with two embryos was slim, but we always have better luck the more embryos we use. This was unexpected, but always a possibility."

"Are they both okay?" Olivia asked. "You said they both have a strong heartbeat."

"They both look perfectly healthy," the doctor assured them, but his face looked serious. "I should tell you though…the cord blood donation…no public bank will do that with twins."

"What?" Elliot asked. "Why?"

"They'll most likely be born early," the doctor explained. "Twins have smaller placentas and so they have less cord blood. There is sometimes cross-contamination between samples at birth. It's too big of a risk."

"My son is going to die," Elliot said, his voice quivering. "He needs this…"

"El…" Olivia looked at him, the sight of his tears crushing her. "I'm sorry…"

He shook his head, "I have to get out of here…I need some air…I'm sorry…" he cried, turning and walking out of the room.

The doctor left her alone to get dressed and Olivia pulled on her jeans and sweater, looking in the mirror and wishing the first time she'd seen her babies hadn't been marred by such grief. The nurse walked in, handing her the prescription for the medication she'd decided to continue a while longer, and a couple of printouts of the ultrasound photos. "I'm sorry you didn't get better news about his son," the nurse said sincerely. "Cord blood donation isn't easy…sometimes I think the internet makes it seem like it is. I'm sorry he's so upset about the twins. That can't be easy for you."

"He loves these babies," Olivia told her, even though in her heart she questioned her belief in the statement.

"Of course he does," the nurse patted her shoulder and gave a weak smile. Olivia tried not to cry as she followed her out of the room.

December 19, 2014 5:00PM

She was sitting at her desk, devouring a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips from the vending machine and staring at her computer screen. She'd met Elliot outside the fertility clinic and he'd offered to drive her home or to work and she'd chosen work. She hadn't planned on coming in, but after the disappointment of her doctor visit, she knew she couldn't sit home all day. Elliot said nothing on the way to the station, and she didn't know what to say to him. All she managed was a soft, "Thanks for the ride," as he pulled into the lot behind the building and she couldn't get out of the car fast enough for him to drive off. The rest of the afternoon she'd managed to accomplish nothing more than quick google searches on cord blood donation from twins, coming to the conclusion that her doctor knew what he was talking about, and several trips to the vending machine for food that she shouldn't be eating anyway. It was officially a day from hell.

There was a knock at the door and she looked up, motioning Nick inside, "Liv…" he said, pushing the door open. "Tatum Granbury is here…for the lineup." The employee from Pure Earth Sanitation, Dolan O'Brien, fit the description of the rapist but had been reluctant to come in to talk to them. Eventually they'd been able to get a warrant which turned up more evidence in his work van and his apartment, and they needed the little girl to identify him as her attacker to finalize the investigation. "Do you want to be in there?" Nick asked. "She's asking for you."

"I'm coming," Olivia said, tossing her chip bag in the trashcan, steadying herself against her desk when she suddenly felt dizzy, and heading for the door once she regained her balance.

"Are you feeling okay?" Nick asked. "You just seem so off lately. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine," she said softly. "I'm pregnant…" and the words escaped her lips before she could stop them.

"What?" Nick seemed to choke on the words. "Are you serious?" She nodded, wishing she hadn't said anything. "You…are having a baby?"

"You don't have to act like it's impossible," she snickered. "And I'm having two babies…twins…" she sighed, "Don't tell anyone, okay? I shouldn't even have told you. I just…"

"You needed to tell someone," he nodded. "I get it." He smiled, "Congratulations…going from a single woman to a mother a three in less than a year…big adjustment."

She nodded, "Yeah…not sure what I've gotten myself into…" she smiled, "But I'm excited."

"I'm glad," he hugged her. "You should be excited." He looked nervously at her, "What about the father?"

She shook her head, "Sperm donation…" she said. "These babies are all mine."

"Well, they'll have Uncle Nick to spoil them rotten," he laughed.

"No doubt," she laughed, opening the door, "Come on…let's go get this son of a bitch and put him behind bars for good."

Later that night she was sitting on her bed with Noah curled up next to her, her laptop in front of her. She was looking through page after page about cord donation and stopped when she found a message board where women carrying twins were discussing the procedure. Many said they were told it was impossible, but a few said they were able to bank cord blood in spite of the regulations. She quickly posted a message "Help! My twins have a half-brother with leukemia and we need their cord blood. What can I do?" and she was shocked when her inbox was flooded with messages from people who knew of private banks that could help if the pregnancy went well and the placentas were healthy enough. She wrote down all of the information and closed her eyes, never more relieved for the internet than she was at that moment.

Her phone rang, and she glanced at it, seeing it was Elliot and not wanting to talk with him. She couldn't tell him about her search for possible banking sites…not yet. He'd get his hopes up and be crushed all over again, and she couldn't face that. She couldn't let the phone ring unanswered though. It wasn't fair to him...He'd think she was angry and she wasn't. She was a little hurt, but not angry. "Hello…" she said quickly and she could hear his breathing on the other end.

"Liv…" he said. "Liv…I'm sorry…for how I acted at the clinic…God, you did not deserve that…the twins don't deserve that…"

"El…it's fine," she said. "I understand. I'm upset too."

"I told Kathy…" he said and she could hear the tears clogging his voice, "She was devastated. I shouldn't have said anything until we knew for sure…"

"How's Eli?" she asked.

"He's doing a little better tonight," Elliot said. "The chemo is finally making progress in fighting the cancer…so it looks like we might be okay to wait for Maureen to have a baby or for a donor to show up…but things could change tomorrow…with this cancer you just never know."

"El, I'm so sorry," Olivia cried, looking down at her own son sound asleep beside her. She couldn't imagine losing him and thinking that Elliot might lose Eli made her physically ill. She couldn't imagine the pain. She wanted to tell him what she'd found online, give him a little hope again, but she knew it might be false hope and in the end that was much worse than not knowing.

"Hey…what are you doing tomorrow?" he asked.

"Working," she sighed. "We caught that rapist…I need to meet with the ADA…"

"Well what about the next day?" he asked.

She smiled, "Sunday is my day off. Why?"

"I want to talk," he said. "Maybe we can go to lunch…get that chocolate milk you love…"

She laughed, "I need to go Christmas shopping. I haven't bought one thing yet."

"Okay," he agreed. "Christmas shopping it is."

"And chocolate milk," she teased. "The twins love chocolate milk."

"Deal…" he sighed. "Goodnight, Liv."

She closed her eyes, "Goodnight, El."

More soon...