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Early the next morning I set off home with Richard and Juliette. It was a subdued journey, but I was relaxed. They seemed to be almost resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to back down. I just hoped they weren't going to try anything stupid and slip something in my drink to make me unconscious while they carried out the procedure. Richard wouldn't do that though surely.

It made for a much more pleasant journey when walking hand in hand with Richard, rather than trudging along alone, and the time passed slightly quicker than it had done on my outward journey.

We walked into the Barracks in the early evening. Richard made sure I was settled and fed, before heading off somewhere. I suspected he had gone to see Ben and would love to have been a fly on the wall. I felt my ears burning.

It was very late when I finally felt him slip into bed behind me and gently curl his arms around me. He must have been exhausted.

We slept in late the next morning. I'm not sure what David must have been thinking. It was the third day that I had not turned up for work. Maybe Ben had said something to him.

There was a knock at the door, and assuming it was David, reluctantly went to go and offer some sort of explanation. To my irritation though, it was Ben standing on the other side.

"Ready to talk now?" He asked, in that sarcastic voice of his.

I didn't want him in my house, so said i'd be out in a minute, and went in to pull on some clothes and get Richard. He was still fast asleep bless him and I felt bad waking him, but didn't want to have to face Ben alone.

We walked out onto the porch and sat down with Ben.

"So I hear you want to keep the baby." Ben remarked, and I nodded. "Well as long as you realise you're most likely going to die as a result." He continued. "I had worried whether by letting you go through with it I would be going against the express orders of Jacob. But i've decided that i'm going to leave this in Richard's hands and let him decide, and on his head be it."

I breathed a sigh of relief, although I did suspect he was revelling in the fact that this had appeared to have caused a wedge between me and Richard. He probably secretly hoped that either Richard would make me have the termination, and it would split us up in the process, or he would let me go through with it, I would die and Richard would have to deal with the consequences. Either way he would be keeping his hands clean and Richard would be the one to suffer.

"Well let me know what you decide." Ben addressed the two of us, and left.

Richard had been quiet but at last spoke.

"What makes you think you're going to be ok?" He asked.

Despite the fact that Jacob hadn't told me to keep our meeting secret. Something inside me told me that he wouldn't want me to mention it. He regularly spoke to Richard so could have easily told him, but he had chosen to come and speak to me directly. As much as I didn't have secrets from Richard, I just wanted to keep this one to myself. I had to offer him something though. He probably thought I had convinced myself it was going to be ok because I was in denial about the seriousness.

"I can't explain it Richard, but I know that everything is going to be fine. I really need you to trust me on this." I said determinedly, as I looked him straight in the eye.

He seemed torn. One half of him obviously really wanted to trust me, but the other more cautious half still had doubts. But he clearly realised that there wasn't any point in pushing it any further for now.

I was feeling tired so we went and snuggled back into bed for a while, and spent the rest of the day relaxing at home.

Richard had to go back to camp the next day, but promised to be back in a few days. I realised he needed time to think, and come to terms with all of this. I wanted more than anything for him to be happy about the news, but I knew that it wasn't that simple.

Over the next few months he visited often. I loved it when he was back, though he wasn't himself, and I could tell he was brooding on it all, though he seemed at last to have accepted that I was going to go through with it.

We lay in bed one morning and I brought up the subject, asking him how he was feeling about it all.

"I need to talk to Jacob." He replied. "I've been trying to go and see him since I first found out, but he hasn't been there. He must be away at the moment. I'm hoping he can offer me some sort of reassurance."

I don't know what was stopping me from telling him that I had already spoken to Jacob about it, but once again I kept quiet. It just didn't feel right.

When he had left for camp I went to see Juliette, as she was at home for a few days.

"It's time I gave you a scan, to see whats happening in there." She dropped into the conversation, as I sat on her porch drinking tea. "You will need to come over to Hydra Island where all the equipment is. Ethan will be there too. We need to see how the pregnancy is progressing and whether anything is looking abnormal yet."

"Can we do it when Richard's back next? I know he'll want to be there." I asked.

As much as I was looking forward to having a scan, I was going nowhere without Richard. I had previously considered Juliette a good friend, but since all this happened I no longer completely trusted her.

"That's fine, just come over when he's next back. He'll know the way." Juliette confirmed.

This was fine with me. I was rather pleased I would finally get to see our baby (well on a screen anyway).