He doesn't listen.
He is controlling and reckless.
Leaning against the bookshelf, my eyes scan him as he finishes trying to redress himself.
"I can help you." I offer.
"No." He snaps.
He is stubborn, egoistical, selfish and arrogant.
"It's no bother, young master. "
"I don't want your help, I can do it myself." He huffs. I sigh, closing my eyes in order to fight rolling them.
He infuriates me, challenges and frustrates me.
Calming myself, I open my eyes again to watch as he tries to button his shirt, although, it seems to be rather shy of a few. Perhaps I was a little too rough with it, letting myself get carried away. It stood between his milky white flesh and my hands, as they were desperate to touch and search his body.
He is wholly imperfect. However, as imperfect as he may be, he is nothing but perfect to me.
"At least let me get you another shirt." I suggest.
"Fine but next time, try not to be so forceful with my clothing just before I have to go to school." He warns with a slight smirk on his red, swollen lips.
Giving up trying to put his shirt back together again, Ciel holds it together close to his chest to cover himself. Finding that pointless, he rests his palms against the edge of the desk, facing me. Shoulders hunch forwards as he looks at me, letting his shirt fall open. Instinctively, like a predator preparing to pounce on its prey, I lick my lips at the sight his exposed neck.
My lips then curl into a smile as I spy the small pattern of marks I left along his clavicle on the right hand side. Glancing over to the Grandfather clock on the side of the wall, I check the time. Lowered eyes trail slowly back to him as I grin.
"What?" He wonders.
"I have a little more time."
Rushing over to him, I forcefully push him down onto his back. A hand slides around his waist, arching him up towards me whilst the other interlocks with his, pinning it down above his head and holding it firmly.
"What are you doing?" He asks as I maneuver myself in between his legs.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
"But I have to get another shirt." He feigns protest, closing his eyes as his head rolls back. His breathing hitches each time my lips land on his skin, making their way up to his neck.
"I know and I'm sorry but my hands can't stop themselves from touching you."
"You filthy demon." He breathes out.
"What did I say about you calling me that?"
"You love it."
"I do." I growl in his ear, making my way back down again.
Using my nose, I move the fabric of his shirt to the side. Planting a soft kiss on the skin just above his collar, I lick his throat. His skin is so sweet and salty; I just can't help but to bite down hard. Ciel gasps as teeth pierce his skin, clenching my hand whilst the other balls tightly into a fist. Bringing it to his lips, he covers his mouth as he stifles himself from crying out.
He struggles against me but I don't let go.
He whines but it's like music to me.
The flavor of tart iron hits my tongue as I lap it up, savoring every last drop.
I want you more than anything else in this world; however, I want more than just this, more than a little tryst on the desk in the office. I don't want you to suppress the sound you make or the pleasure you feel. However, in this moment, as it's on offer, I'll take it. I'll have this taste but it only makes me crave more, need more.
You said that I couldn't break what's already broken; well then, let me see if I can. I know that I will destroy you and now I want nothing more than to try. You awaken the monster within me, the creature I've tried to keep from you. I'm not halfway there, not even close but you've asked for it, you're welcoming it and now I want to push you. I want to push your boundaries and your limits; I want to see how far I can go before you shatter. I want to see how far can we go before you let me annihilate you. Why? Because that's just what I want to do.
I want it all Ciel, every last part of you and I'm not willing to settle.
Instead of your soft moans, I want to hear you scream. Fill your lungs with my name and shout it so loud you become hoarse, then I'll make scream some more. I don't want you to just squeeze my arms when you grab onto me, claw at me, dig into my flesh and mar me. I want to be a part of you, to feel you, and be in you. You hit me hard, like a rapid rush of blood to my head, making me dizzy and weak, hot and electric. I love it, this sensation of desire and lust.
His hand leaves his mouth, slipping underneath my jacket and pulling at my shirt as he curves his hips up, grinding into me. Leaving his waist, my hand travels down, past the side of his hips and over the top part of his thigh. Fingers push themselves in between us and they run over his ever-growing erection, which is constricted in his trousers.
Still gripping my hand with one hand, nails trail down my back with the other as he buries his face into my shoulder, sighing out.
With this wonton abandon, he is made perfect to me.
The light breathy moans he emits that are prompted by my slightest touch as I massage him with the palm of my hand, perfect.
The way his body writhes and moves underneath me, responding to every sensation, perfect.
How his voice calls out my name.
There is a soft knock on the door; both of our heads turn sharply towards it as our bodies freeze.
"Um, Mister Sebastian? Is the young master with you? I can't seem to find him and the car is here to take him to school." Mey-Rin calls out from the other side.
Ciel whines slightly at the notion of being interrupted, whilst I feel slightly relieved. I know how far I want to go but I need to wait, there is still the matter of having set boundaries and rules in place first.
"I don't want to go to school." He whispers in a sharp tone as he pulls me back on to him. Smiling, I push to move off of him.
"I'm sorry young master but you must."
"If you give me that nonsense about you being remise of your duties as a butler-"
"No, no, not this time. This is one of the rules we have to put into place, I'm afraid, school and work must come first."
Scooting himself forward, Ciel starts to sit upright, holding his shirt together in one hand and balancing himself with the other.
"I suppose you're right." He concedes. "Okay, school and work come first, what else?"
"Well young master, that is up to you. You must set the boundaries and come up with the rules."
"Me?"
"You are the one in control here, not me. As I've said to you before, I won't do anything without your order."
He thinks to himself for a moment, and then nods.
"Very well, then I will come up with something."
"Um, Mister Sebastian?" Mey-Rin calls to me again as she knocks on the door once more.
"First thing's first, I have to get you out of here without Mey-Rin asking too many questions." I murmur low enough for him to hear me.
"My shirt?" He whispers.
"Among... other things." I smirk as I admire the freshly made bite mark on his shoulder. Ciel follows my gaze and reaches up, clapping his hands over the wound to hide it.
Straightening myself up, and re-tucking my shirt back into the waistband, I draw in a deep breath and go to the door. Opening it a crack, I gaze down at Mey-Rin who instantly blushes and adverts her eyes from mine.
"Mey-Rin, would you be so kind as to tell the driver that the young master is running slightly behind schedule this morning, my fault entirely, of course." I hear Ciel grunt behind me. Ignoring him, I smile brightly and continue. "Could you tell him to wait for a few minutes?"
"Y-yes of course but-"
"Thank you very much." I interrupt, still with a smile on my lips. Before she can say anything further, I quickly shut the door, keeping my hand on the knob, just in case she decides to enter, I can block her. Turning back towards Ciel, I grin as he tries to stifle a small giggle. "I am going to go and get another shirt for you, please wait here." He nods as I turn the knob and slip out of the room.
Quickly making my way down the hall, I can't help but shiver as I enjoy the feel of the rush of excitement at the notion of almost getting caught. I can't let that happen though, if anything but for the sake of Ciels' reputation. I must admit, it's one of the things that makes me hesitant about pursuing this any further. He has worked hard to make a name for himself, to step out of his fathers' shadow and I wouldn't wish anything to sully the Phantomhive family name.
Smirking at that thought, I realize that I truly am a butler to the core.
My, my, just who have I become?
This change has taken me by surprise but I wonder what I will do when it's all over.
What will I do when Ciel finally exacts his revenge and our contract ends? Can I ever really go back to the way that I was before I met him? Truth be told, I'm starting to doubt it.
Though I know I definitely won't stay a butler, I can't completely go back to the life I once led and, if that's the case, then what can I go back to? Once Sebastian Michaelis, as he is now, is dead and gone, whom will I be reborn as?
Do I really care?
In this moment, it doesn't actually matter. All I know now is that I have to get a new shirt for my young master and make sure that he is changed quickly so that he isn't late for class. I also must remember to make something with a little extra sugar for his afternoon tea, I'm pretty sure his nightmare last night would not have let him get enough rest for the day and if he's going to make it to dinner with his aunt, he's going to need to be awake.
Stopping for a moment, I can't help but chuckle at my string of thoughts.
Who have I become, indeed.
…
"Ah!"
"Ugh..."
"Yes!"
"Halt! Valid point. Fifteenth and final point to Miss Lizzie, well done." I congratulate her as she takes off her mask, and pass her a towel.
"Thank you Sebastian." She replies, accepting the towel and pressing it to her face.
Frustrated, Ciel leans against the wall and pulls off his mask, sitting it down by his feet. His face is sweaty and red as he tries to catch his breath. Going over to him, I hand him a towel and he snatches it from me, rubbing it on his face and around the back of his neck.
"I think your foot work is improving, young master." I comment. His head whips over to me as he shoots me a dirty look.
"Well, that was our fourth bout, shall we call it a draw? I'm really looking forward to whatever sweet treat Sebastian has in store for us." She beams as she comes over to us with a small skip in her step. Her boundless energy never ceases to amaze me; you'd never know that they had been dueling for the last forty minutes.
"Very well Miss Lizzie, if you wish to change, I shall-"
"No, we're not done." Ciel interjects.
"We're not?"
"One more bout."
"You can't be serious? You must be exhausted." She turns to me, "He was falling asleep in class, you know."
I figured as much.
Ciel drops his towel to the floor and picks up his mask.
"One more bout." He repeats as he pushes himself from the wall, he picks up his épée and walks to the middle of the room. Lizzies' eyes flick from him back over to me and I shrug.
Stepping away from me, she joins Ciel on the piste and picks up her épée; they both turn to face each other. Raising their swords, they salute one another before lowering them and turning towards me to repeat the process, saluting me.
"En garde!" I call out and they put their masks back on. "Ready?" They both nod to confirm. They then angle their blades in front and forwards, raising their free arms upwards. "Play!"
Their duel begins.
Ciel flicks his hand up and lunges towards Lizzie, whose feet slide as she twists her wrist and counters his approach.
Standing against the wall, my eyes follow every move they make. All though they are both young, it's as if I'm watching a master class in fencing. Both highly competitive, skilled, and adept with their blades. However, Lizzie lives up to her title as a genius with a sword as she simply side steps around Ciel with little effort. Her body moves with such fluidity, creating clean lines with each thrust she makes.
Ciels' skills are less refined but elegant nonetheless, especially in the way his feet move as he dances around her. He's on the defense at the moment but then he slips forward in a feint, to parry. He is fighting hard, completely unwilling to lose this fight as his blade glides down hers to block her attack. Lizzie counters with a quick step, deflecting his strike. Her free arm drops and she lunges forward, sticking him straight in the chest.
"Halt! Valid point to Miss Lizzie." I declare as the pair remove their masks and go into their recovery positions to begin again.
"En garde!" They salute one another and then me. "Ready?" They nod, "Play!"
Lizzies' feet slide forward as she attacks Ciel. I smile as I watch him duck and weave from her challenge, avoiding the body contact of a corps-à-corps. Her blade slides along his as he initiates a counter attack.
"Ciel is getting better, isn't he?" A voice speaks to me from the side.
"Mrs. Midford, my apologies, I didn't know you had arrived." I greet her. She puts her hands on her cinched in waist and drums her fingers along the belt.
"I'll let it slide on this occasion, especially as I have arrived unannounced."
"That's very kind of you, I-"
"However, a proper butler must always be prepared for unexpected guests. Be mindful of that in the future." She advises in a curt tone.
"Yes, of course." I bow. Her eyes go over to the pair who are still going at it.
Their blades cut through the air as they clash with one another. Ciel decides to parry against Lizzies' thrust as he sticks her in the side.
"Halt! Valid point to the young master." I announce as they quickly recover to begin again. We repeat the process and they quickly start.
"Looks like the competition is quite heated, how long have they been going at it?"
"This is their fifth bout."
"Fifth?"
"Yes, well, Miss Elizabeth has won the last two and my young master hates to lose." I comment and she nods, our eyes never leaving the two.
Ciel dips and slides back as Lizzie propels herself forward. He's proving to be a bit of a challenge in this bout as he bobs up and down on the balls of his feet, attacking her unrelentingly. The tip of his blade touches the low lines of her chest, it bends and curves with the impact.
"Halt! Valid point to the young master." I declare. Ciel shakes his fist to celebrate the point; it looks like he has now just pulled into the lead.
"How long do you think this will go on for?"
"Until he wins, which he knows he can in this match."
"How can you tell, as you know, my Elizabeth is not easily defeated."
"You just have to watch him; he's determined not to lose." I pause for a moment as they both look at me to let them begin again. "En garde." The pair put their masks back on. "Ready?" Again, they nod. "Play!" I announce and they go straight into it.
Ciel fights as though he is possessed. His stealth and determination in fighting is a skill that many have but it's something he seems to excel in. As in many of the games he plays, he truly believes that he cannot lose and then it hits me, I have an idea.
After a moment, Francis looks at her watch and then steps towards the piste.
"Halt!" She calls out and they stop, taking their masks off.
"Was there a penalty?" Ciel asks, panting as he takes off his mask.
Francis shakes her head. "No and whilst I hate to interrupt a good duel, I think it's time to declare it."
"But-" Ciel tries to protest but is quieted when Francis raises her hand.
"You will do yourselves an injury if you continue to carry on. Now, shake hands and go get changed."
Lizzie takes off her mask, tucking it under her arm and goes over to Ciel with her hand outstretched. Ciel reluctantly accepts it and they shake.
I try and go over to Ciel as he steps off of the piste, heading towards the door.
"Shall I assist you, young master?"
"No." He snaps as he marches off towards the door.
"I never know what the matter is with him, he technically won." Lizzie giggles as she sits her mask down on the near by table. She picks up her towel and dabs at her face again as I glance over at Francis.
"Mrs. Midford, if you have a moment, may I speak with you privately?"
"What is it?"
"Please, if you wouldn't mind?" I hold out my arm to escort her out.
…
"This is highly irregular butler." She huffs folding her arms tightly around her chest.
"Yes, I appreciate that it must be quite irregular but I felt that for what I have to discuss, it must be done in private." I state as I partially close the door to the office.
Maintaining a dignified demeanor, I keep my shoulders level, my back straight and my hands firmly at my side as I stand in front of her. Francis Midford is not only intimidating but she is a powerful force to be reckoned with. If I make one wrong move here, my plan can easily be thwarted.
Francis slowly paces around me before going over to a nearby dark brown leather chair. Leaning up against it, she tosses her head to the side, sweeping the long loose strand of blond from her face as she folds her arms tightly across her chest. Steely green eyes lower at me as I stand unwavering whilst she examines me.
"Well, what is it then?" She snaps.
"It's about the young master." I begin.
"Ciel? Is he okay?" Her tone softens at the mention of his name.
"Yes, I think he's quite fine."
"Then what is it?"
"Mrs. Midford, have you noticed that my master has a talent when it comes to competing with others?"
"Yes but I never saw that as a bad thing."
"No, no, of course it's not, it's just that he is extremely confident of his abilities, almost to the extent that he has the viewpoint that there is no way he could ever lose."
"I don't see anything wrong with a little self-confidence."
"Yes, you're quite right, however, in order to work towards one's goal, it is necessary for one to eat humble pie every now and then. If not, one will eventually trip and fall one day and not have the courage or strength of conviction, to be able to stand on your own two feet again."
"I see." She nods as her harsh glare starts to relax. "And what does this have to with why you asked me to come in here?"
I draw in a deep breath to collect my thoughts. As she waits for me to speak again, Francis drops her arms and rests them on her hips. I am not stalling on purpose, I know what I wish to ask of her but I didn't have enough time to plan it all out first. I just hope this will work.
"I know this may seem a little unorthodox but I have a request to ask of you." I start.
"A request?" She repeats and I nod.
"You see, the young master has a goal, one that is not easily attainable. He will need to be taught how to be proud and self-confident alongside being patient and humble."
"And the request?"
"Well, because I believe that these are features that you embody so perfectly, it is my hope that you could become a role model for my master. He can learn from you on how to stay on the correct path without deviating."
"In other words, you want to use me?"
"Of course that is not the case. The head of the household I serve is, for all in intents and purposes, a child and yet at the same time he is also the master and the head of this family. I know you know what the Phantomhives are and what they do."
Her arms fall to her sides as she looks away for a moment, then back to me.
"Yes, I know. This is not the life I would have chosen for him but-"
"It's a path he has chosen to walk."
She nods in agreement. "He is so much like his father, it's maddening."
"Then you can see why I request this of you? It is important for the young master now to have an adult by his side, in order to keep him in check, to never let him deviate or stray from his path and to ensure that he has a good moral backbone."
"And this is something that you cannot do?"
"Forgive me madam but I am too close to him and I am certainly no role model. You are not only his family but I see you having the ability to nurture and care for the young master in ways that I simply cannot and should not."
"Even though your looks are very indecent, what you said is indeed accurate. Ciel will need guidance and I am very happy to help." Her lips twist into a wry smile and I bow politely.
"Thank you Mrs. Midford."
"You are a fellow that will never be taken advantage of I see."
"Thank you for the compliment, however, I will do whatever benefits the young master the most and I believe that having you as a strong influence in his life will definitely be an advantage."
"Yes, I believe that you would."
"Um, young master? What are you doing down there?" I hear Mey-Rin question beside the door and we both turn to see a small hand reach around the side. It grabs onto the doorframe and works its way up, slipping back to the other side, disappearing from view.
"Ciel?" Francis calls over to him.
He waits a moment, and then pushes the door open fully, entering the room with a sardonic smile, rolling his shoulders in the process.
"Hello again Aunt Francis." He greets her nonchalantly, making his way over to her and walking past me, not even bothering to glance in my direction.
"Were you listening in on our conversation?" She chides him.
"Not really, I just heard voices coming from this room and I just-"
"Ciel."
"I'm sorry Aunt Francis." He dips his head, apologizing like a reprimanded school child.
"You know, there's a saying, never stick your nose into something you don't want to know, you'll never find anything good."
"And you both were discussing something that I don't want to know?"
"No young master, we were just discussing-"
"I know what you were both talking about Sebastian, I heard." He hisses.
Oh dear, I wonder what's gotten into him now?
"Of course young master." I reply as he turns to his aunt with a bright smile.
"Will you and Elizabeth be joining me for dinner tonight? Aunt Anne will be here soon, I believe."
"Well, I hadn't planned on it but we'd be happy to, if that is all right with you?"
"Of course, I would love to have you and Elizabeth stay."
"Wonderful, and is that all right with you butler? I wouldn't want to catch you off guard again."
Truth be told it is an inconvenience, especially as I had only prepared dinner for three but I can see that this is his way of trying to punish me for what Francis and I spoke about. Although, as unsure as I am to why he is doing so, I'm certainly not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing how annoyed I am. Instead, I put my hand to my chest and smile.
"It would be splendid to have you and Miss Elizabeth stay, I will let our chef know immediately." I respond, glancing over to Ciel, who folds his arms across his chest in a huff.
"Good. Speaking of Elizabeth, I should check on her, she is taking an awfully long time changing. Please excuse me." She makes her way through the room and to the door as Ciel follows behind her, shutting it as soon as she leaves.
He turns back to me, refolding his arms as his brow furrows into a scowl. My posture remains unchanged as he goes past me to the desk, resting against it.
"So this is what you meant by my benefit?" He snips.
"Yes." I state.
"Hm."
"I believe that Mrs. Midford will provide an excellent example for you young master, she can guide you in ways that I cannot."
"Don't give me that bollocks." He replies snidely.
"It isn't. I don't think you truly understand what I'm doing here."
"Then explain it to me because what I heard is that you are trying to pawn me off on someone else. You don't want to take responsibility for me, is that it?"
As I walk over to him, Ciels' head turns away as his arms tighten over his chest. My hand glides past his shoulder, down his arm to his elbow. I slip it in between the narrow gap and grab on to his waist, thrusting him towards me.
"I am not pawing you off or shirking responsibility. I am not your guardian or a father figure for you, not to mention that I have no real moral guidance to give. You will need to look to someone for those things and it cannot be me. Do you understand?" He lowers his head as he nods. "Your aunt will fulfill that role for you, not me." He nods again and I smile. "For me to pursue you," I wrap my other hand around his side, squeezing it tightly, "to do all the things I have in my filthy and depraved mind, you have to understand that I will never be those things to you. You only employ me to keep you safe, that's all I'm going to do."
Ciel chews on his lower lip, blushing as he turns his head away from me. "I understand."
"Well then, what are your rules?" I purr as he inches himself closer to me.
"As you said earlier, school and work must come first."
"I agree."
"And I think we have to keep it professional during the day time, especially when others are around."
"Okay."
"We can't let anyone know, no one." He states firmly.
"Of course."
"That is all I have now."
"That's fine, I'm sure there will be others over time."
He grins as he looks up at me, his chest rests on mine and I bend slightly to kiss the top of his forehead.
"Sebastian, I do have one last rule for right now." He whispers as he presses his cheek against me.
"Yes, young master?"
"You belong to me and no one else, understood?"
"Perfectly."
"Do you?"
"I made that vow the day I signed our contract, I am fully aware that I belong to you, Ciel Phantomhive."
"You are mine and mine alone, never forget it."
Trust me Ciel, it won't be forgotten.