Thanks so much for all the reviews. I appreciate everyone who is reading, and I really look forward to the reviews and knowing what people are thinking about the storyline/characters. I'm doing my best to update more frequently than I was before Christmas...so here you go! I hope you like it :)
January 28, 2015 9:00AM
"Noah…it's okay sweetie…" Olivia spoke gently to the baby as she held him close, swaying him back and forth in the hope of calming his cries. Nothing was working. She'd spent half the night with him in the ER, praying he'd recover quickly from his latest asthma attack and relieved when they'd finally been sent home, but the bronchitis that had triggered the attack in the first place wasn't better and the antibiotics the doctor had prescribed hadn't kicked in yet. The poor baby was miserable. "Mommy's here…" she whispered. "I'm staying here with you all morning…I promise."
She'd called Lucy early that morning to tell her she was staying home with Noah for the morning and asking her to come watch him for a few hours in the afternoon while she went to an appointment. The girl was used to the baby being sick, ever since his first asthma attack months ago, and took good care of him when he was ill, but today Olivia wanted to stay with him herself. She was exhausted from the night at the hospital and she looked forward to cuddling up with her son and napping for a while. Besides, at twelve weeks the pregnancy was beginning to present new challenges and she knew she couldn't hide it from anyone anymore. She had an appointment that afternoon, the first one with her regular obstetrician since the fertility specialist had released her after her last appointment, and when she heard once and for all that she was safely moving into the second trimester, she would officially announce her pregnancy to the whole squad and talk to Lucy about her willingness to stay on and care for three babies instead of just one, even though she knew everyone was already suspicious of her pregnancy. The SVU detectives all knew, and not a day went by when she didn't catch some of the uniformed officers or lawyers whispering as she walked by. The day before she'd noticed Lucy staring at her when she handed Noah off to her in the morning, and had quickly pulled her coat around her in an attempt to hide the obvious, but she knew baggy clothes and a jacket weren't going to hide the twins forever. She already felt huge.
Noah finally gave in to sleep and Olivia put him down carefully in the crib, stroking his warm forehead with her hand. She wished his fever would break so he could start feeling better. She'd never felt as helpless as she did caring for her sick child and she longed for him to be well again. A quick knock at the door startled her and since she wasn't expecting anyone she made her way slowly to the door, peering out the peek-hole and sighed, "Elliot…what are you doing here?" she asked through the door without making an attempt to open it.
"I went by the station," he said, "but Fin told me you were staying home today. Are you okay? Let me in."
She rolled her eyes and unlocked the door, pulling it open and staring at him, "I'm fine," she insisted. "Noah's sick, so I stayed home…what are you doing here?" She'd kept her promise to answer her phone and texts, but she'd also made it clear she wasn't ready to see him again any time soon. She'd thought he'd accepted that until now.
"Eli had an appointment yesterday…and I came for it. I was going to leave this morning, but I haven't seen you in a month, Liv…I just wanted to say hi," he flashed his usual grin and she shook her head in defeat and motioned him in.
"How's Eli doing?" she asked, walking over to the sofa and sitting down, grabbing a pillow and putting it behind her back.
"He's doing well," Elliot answered, sitting next to her. "The doctor says things look good. The cancer is in remission for now, but it's already come back once. He thinks there's a significant chance it will return within the year." His face was pale, but he forced a weak smile, "But he's good right now…and that's what we have to focus on. He went back to school last week."
"That's great," Olivia smiled. She knew he was thinking about the possibility that the twins might match Eli, but he was also doing his best not to bring it up…and she appreciated that.
"What about you?" he asked. "How are you feeling?" He glanced at her stomach, smiling at the way she'd tried to hide the pregnancy with oversized sweats, "You look good."
"Thanks," she sighed, running her hand over her stomach and letting the slight bulge take shape under her hand, "I feel like a blimp."
"You don't look like a blimp," Elliot assured her, reaching his hand out, "Can I?" he asked, not sure if she would mind if he touched her or not, thinking about Christmas Eve when they'd been comfortable enough together that he'd tickled her until she nearly peed her pants, but things were different now. She nodded and he let his hand rest on the slight swell of her stomach, "Wow…I bet you can't wait for them to start kicking."
She laughed, "I swear…as big as I am you'd think I'd be able to feel them, but all the books say twins don't start kicking any earlier than singletons."
"I could've told you that," Elliot leaned back on the sofa, "This isn't my first go around with twins…remember…"
"Yeah…I know," Olivia said, standing up and walking over to the crib to check on her son, feeling his forehead for any sign that his fever was breaking. "Elliot…why are you here? I asked you to give me some space."
"I told you," he stood up and walked over to her, staring down at the sleeping baby, "I wanted to check in with you…see how you're feeling. That's all…"
"Well I feel fine," she insisted. "So you can go back to DC and I'll call you…"
"Liv…" he grabbed her hand. "Can't we just talk? Why are you pushing me away?"
"My son is sick," she sighed. "I was at the ER with him all night…I'm tired…"
"The ER?" Elliot asked, looking down at the sleeping baby. "What's wrong?"
"He has bronchitis," Olivia said, running her fingers through the baby's soft brown hair. "And it aggravated his asthma…"
"He has asthma?" Elliot asked. "That sounds serious…"
"It is," Olivia told him. "But he's fine now. He's been in the hospital a couple of times, but they sent him home this time so he's going to be fine."
"You haven't been to sleep at all?" Elliot asked with concern and she shook her head in response. "Liv…get some rest. I'll stay and keep an eye on Noah…"
"No…I need to keep checking his temperature," she insisted.
"Liv, I can do that," Elliot argued. "You need to get some sleep. It isn't good for you to go without sleep. You don't want to get sick too."
"I have a doctor's appointment at one," she sighed. "And I need to find something to wear first…"
"You can still sleep for a couple of hours," Elliot suggested. "Who's watching Noah while you go to the doctor?"
"Lucy," Olivia put her hand to her stomach. "She's going to quit when I tell her I'm pregnant…I just know it…"
"She doesn't know?" Elliot's eyes widened. "Liv…it's not really easy to hide…"
She scowled at him, "Gee, thanks. Just what I needed today…for you to waltz in here and tell me how fat I am."
"That is not what I meant," he insisted. "But you are showing…twelve weeks with twins…no one could hide that…"
"I don't think she knows," Olivia argued. "But maybe she suspects something. I've been really careful about what I wear…and I try to keep my jacket on around her."
"Why?" Elliot asked. "You don't want your baby sitter to know your pregnant? That doesn't even make sense."
"She's going to quit," Olivia answered. "I need her. I have to have someone to take care of Noah while I work."
"Well what about when the twins get here?" he asked. "What are you planning to do then?"
"I don't know," Olivia sputtered, "I have no idea…"
"You need to get a plan in place," Elliot reminded her. "It's not easy finding childcare for one baby…let alone three…"
"I know that!" Olivia yelled, but Noah stirred in his crib, opening his eyes and moaning softly before closing them again, so she lowered her voice. "I'm trying to figure all this out. Please just leave me alone."
"Liv…I'm not trying to upset you," he said honestly. "I want to help. Go lay down and I'll watch the baby…okay? Get some sleep and you'll feel better."
She wanted to argue, to tell him to leave, but she could tell he was going to be stubborn and she was too exhausted to fight. "I need to get up by 11:30…" she sighed. "To get ready and make it to the appointment on time."
"I'll wake you up," he promised. She nodded and walked toward the bedroom, but he called after her, "Liv…can I come…to the appointment?" he asked.
She turned and looked at him, and nodded before making her way into her room.
January 28, 2015 11:30AM
Elliot stood at the side of the bed, watching her sleep. He hated to wake her. She looked so peaceful, but he knew she had to get ready for her appointment. "Liv…" he whispered, tapping her arm gently. "Liv…wake up…" her eyes fluttered open and she stared groggily at him. "It's 11:30…"
"Already?" she asked, forcing herself to a sitting position. "I'm still so tired."
"You need more sleep," Elliot added, offering his hand to help her out of bed.
She pushed his hand away and pulled herself up, "I'm not that big yet," she sighed. "I can still get myself out of bed."
"I wasn't implying that you couldn't," he insisted. "I just wanted to help."
She walked over to the window, looking outside, "Man…it's really coming down out there. How long has it been snowing like that?"
"A couple of hours," Elliot said, sitting down on the bed and watching her stretch the kinks out of her back. "According to the weather report it might get pretty bad."
Olivia walked to the closet, looking through her clothes and groaning in disgust, "I hate getting dressed" she admitted. "I wish I could wear sweats all day, every day."
She pulled out a pair of jeans, looking at them with frustration and Elliot laughed, "You're gonna wear those?" he asked. "I'm afraid you might squish the babies."
"God El…you really don't know when to shut up, do you?" she tossed the jeans on the bed next to him and pulled out a red sweater. "I'm not going to button them…so the twins won't be smooshed…" She pulled a piece of fabric out of her drawer and held it up for him to see, "Belly band…the miracle clothing item for pregnant women everywhere."
"What the hell is that?" he asked.
"I pull it up over my jeans and it holds them in place, even though they're not buttoned," she explained.
"Why don't you just wear maternity clothes?" Elliot asked curiously.
"Because then everyone will know I'm pregnant," she explained.
"And you don't think they can tell that now?" he asked seriously.
"Would you leave please?" she sputtered. "So I can get dressed."
Elliot walked back into the living room, picking up Noah who was awake and playing in his crib. "Are you feeling better, little man?" he asked and the baby snuggled up next to him. A few minutes later, Olivia emerged from the bedroom, dressed in her jeans and sweater and Elliot smiled, "You look nice," he said sincerely. "You barely look pregnant…"
"Shut up, El," she sat down slowly beside him and he realized the belly band didn't hold her jeans in place as comfortably as she'd let on. She reached for the baby and he handed him to her, "How's he doing?" she asked, feeling his forehead, "I think his fever's down."
"I took his temp about thirty minutes ago," Elliot told her. "100.2…maybe the medicine is starting to work."
"I hope so," Olivia kissed the baby on the cheek and the little boy coughed a rough, deep cough. "God, I hate it when he's sick."
"I know you do," Elliot said gently. "But he's gonna be okay."
Olivia handed the baby back to him, standing to her feet and pulling her jeans up, fidgeting with them until they were situated into place, "I need to find my jacket before Lucy gets here," she said, walking over to the hall closet and looking for it.
"Liv…what have you been wearing to work?" Elliot asked.
"Leggings…wrap dresses…slacks with the belly band a few times, but it didn't work out too well," she admitted. She shook her head and sighed, "Everyone knows. They stare at me…whisper behind my back…" she looked tearfully at him, "I'm so fat…"
"You are not fat," Elliot put Noah carefully in his playpen and wrapped Olivia in his arms. "You're pregnant…and I don't know why you keep trying to keep it a secret. I thought you were happy about the babies."
"I am," she insisted, "But I'm single and everyone knows I just adopted Noah. They're gonna think it was wrong for me to do this."
"Why should you care what they think?" Elliot asked. "It's none of their damn business…" he put his hand on her stomach and smiled, "Besides, I think these two are pretty determined to make themselves known sooner rather than later."
Olivia's phone rang and she grabbed it, pulling away from Elliot's grasp and answering it, "Lucy?" she asked. "Where are you?" Elliot watched as Olivia walked to the window and looked outside, "Oh no…" she sighed, "No…it's fine…yeah, Noah's feeling better…stay inside where it's warm," she put her phone down and looked at Elliot with an exasperated sigh, "She can't get through the snow…are the roads really that bad?"
Elliot clicked on the TV, while Olivia picked Noah up from the play pen and sat next to him. Every station was flooded with weather bulletins about the snow storm, listing businesses that were closing and streets that had been blocked off due to the snow. "New York City…closing down for a snow storm?" Elliot shook his head, "I can't believe this."
"I guess I should call and cancel my appointment," Olivia said grabbing her phone and dialing, but all she got was a recording saying the office had closed and they would call to reschedule appointments. "Glad I called, before trying to make it to the appointment," she said.
"Do you have everything you need for the baby?" Elliot asked nervously. "His medicine and everything? Looks like we might be stuck here a while."
Olivia nodded, "Yeah, his medicine is in the cabinet, and we have plenty of food and everything." She walked over to the window, Noah cuddled in her arms and stared out at the blanket of white.
January 28, 2015 8:30 PM
The baby's cough was deep and painful, causing him to cry out with each one, and then leading to more coughing and gasps for breath. Olivia was frantic. Her son was sick…too sick…and there was no way to get him the help he needed. The roads were snow packed, most of the city had shut down, and even the police and ambulances weren't able to respond to calls in a timely manner. She'd had numerous calls all afternoon from Fin, asking what to do about certain cases during the storm, but even he'd stopped calling. The apartment was quiet with the exception of Noah's coughs and gasps for breath.
"How's he doing?" Elliot asked, coming out of the bathroom and seeing Olivia holding the baby close to her, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"He's so sick, El," she cried. "He can't breathe."
"He's breathing…" Elliot tried to assure her. "He's just coughing a lot." He felt the baby's forehead, "He feels warm again…but maybe it's from the coughing." He handed her the medicine he'd grabbed from the medicine cabinet and she filled the dropper with the liquid and put it in her son's mouth, waiting for him to swallow, but the coughing made it difficult and most of it came back up.
"El, I think he's getting worse," she cried. "I don't know what to do."
"Bring him in here," Elliot walked toward the bathroom and Olivia followed him, Noah cradled in her arms. He pushed open the door and steam floated out, "Get in here before you let the steam out," he said, and he pulled the door behind them. "I turned the shower on…hot water, full blast…Just sit with him, and let him inhale the steam. It'll help…I promise…"
Olivia sat on the toilet lid, holding Noah close to her and the boy's coughing settled some. She looked down at him and then back up at Elliot who was standing over them, "I think it's working…" she whispered. The baby coughed again, but he stopped crying and Olivia rocked him back and forth, "You're okay, sweetie," she promised him. "You're gonna be fine…"
"He is going to be fine," Elliot smiled gently, rubbing his finger across the baby's cheek and he started to drift off to sleep. "Keep him awake for a while," Elliot said. "Just so we can make sure he's breathing right."
Olivia nodded, sitting the baby up and the little boy opened his eyes and looked around the foggy bathroom. An hour later, the baby was breathing normally, had taken his medicine, and was sleeping soundly in his crib. "I'm all sweaty and gross from the steam," Olivia sighed, pulling at her sweater.
"Why don't you go get ready for bed," Elliot suggested. "I'll keep an eye on him a while longer."
Olivia nodded, making her way into the bedroom and changing into a pair of pink plaid pajama pants and a purple tank top the hugged her curves in a way that had embarrassed her since she'd started looking pregnant, but she was hot and tired and decided not to let it bother her for one night. She walked back into the living room, staring as Elliot stroked her son's cheek and she was grateful he'd been there to help. She would never have thought to use the shower to clear Noah's lungs the way Elliot had. In her heart she knew he'd saved her son. "How's he doing?" she asked, walking over to them.
Elliot turned to look at her, smiling at the fact that he was finally seeing her in something other than baggy sweats and sweaters, "He's fine, Liv…" he said gently. "How are you? I know you were scared…"
"I'm okay now," she insisted. "I was so scared, but I'm grateful to you…" her eyes filled with tears. "You saved my baby."
"Olivia, he would've been fine," Elliot promised. "I just helped him stop coughing." He ran his hand along the back of his neck, "I guess since I'm stuck here for the night, I should find something to wear to bed…"
"I have sweats," Olivia suggested. "The ones I had on earlier…they're men's sweats. I just grabbed them at work because they were baggie enough to hide all this," she ran her hand over the swell of her stomach.
"You shouldn't hide it," Elliot smiled. "You look pretty cute with the babies showing…"
"Come on…" she motioned him toward the bedroom. "I'll get them for you."
Elliot changed into the sweat pants, but decided against the shirt, opening the bathroom door and finding Olivia standing there waiting for him. "Liv…you okay?" he asked. "Is something wrong?"
She shook her head, "No…I was just waiting on you. I'm starving…so I was wondering…it's really late…what do you want for dinner?"
"Oh…I didn't even think about dinner," Elliot admitted. He looked at her standing there and smiled, "Of course you're starving…eating for three…"
She rolled her eyes, "I was thinking about making some frozen pizza. I just wondered if you wanted some too."
"Frozen pizza," Elliot shrugged. "Not exactly the gourmet meal I'd hoped for..." he teased.
"Well I'm too tired to cook something gourmet, but if I don't eat soon, I'm gonna get sick," Olivia admitted. "So frozen pizza it is."
"God, this storm is crazy," Elliot said, watching the news report when Olivia walked in with the pizza separated onto two plates. "Thanks," he said, grabbing his plate and taking a bite. Then he looked at her and smiled, "Have you been craving pizza a lot?" he asked.
"I don't know," she admitted, taking a bite. "Sometimes I guess…why?"
"Because…the day you told me you were pregnant you were eating pizza," he reminded her. "Remember…right before you started puking in the hospital bathroom?"
"Can you not mention that?" she grimaced. "My stomach still has its moments…"
"Is the morning sickness still bad?" Elliot asked.
Olivia shook her head, "Not too bad. I'm usually queasy when I wake up, but if I eat something right away I'm okay. If I don't…it gets worse." She sighed, "And anytime during the day…if I'm hungry and I don't eat…I get sick."
"Then eat," Elliot insisted. "I don't want you throwing up because I kept you from eating your pizza."
Olivia laughed and took a bite, just as the lights flickered and the TV shut off. The room was dark, but the white glow from the snow outside shone through the window. "Oh no…" she sighed, looking at Elliot nervously. "A power outage? Just what we need."
"It'll come back on," Elliot insisted, but after an hour it hadn't and the room was getting cold.
"There's no heat without the electricity," Olivia cringed. "Noah's going to get sicker."
"No he's not," Elliot said seriously. "He has warm pajamas, and you can put him in bed with you to help him stay warm. Do you have extra blankets?"
"In the hall closet," Olivia said, and Elliot grabbed them while she picked up the baby. She carried him to her room and cuddled in bed with him, while Elliot covered them both with an extra blanket. "El…" she whispered. "What about you?"
"I grabbed a blanket," he told her. "I'll be fine on the couch."
"With one blanket?" Olivia asked him.
"I'm warm blooded," he smiled. "Goodnight…" he walked toward the door, but she called him back.
"El…you should stay with us," she suggested. "We'll all be warmer if we stay together."
"I don't know, Liv," he sighed. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"I want you to stay," she insisted. "Please…we'll all be warmer if we sleep in here together."
Elliot climbed in bed beside her, wrapping her in his arms while she held Noah close in hers. It was a matter of seconds before he heard her snoring softly next to him, and all he could do was smile at the gentle, sweetness of the sound. "Liv…" he whispered, but he knew she was sleeping and wouldn't answer him. "I love you…" he let the words escape from his lips and wished she was awake to hear them. Then he slowly moved his hand, letting it rest on her stomach, lifting the thin cotton of her tank top and spreading his fingers across the warmth of her skin, "I love you two, too," he said gently. "I'm so glad I'm your daddy…I swear I am…" he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
More to come...very soon hopefully!