Well...it has been 20 days since I posted on this story. TWENTY days! I swear I never go that long without posting. I'm sorry for taking so long and I hope people are still interested. At first I had a little writer's block (well actually writer's laziness,) and then my beloved laptop went to computer heaven, and so I had to wait for my tax refund to buy a new one. I bought a new one...and I hate it. It is hard to type on and too big and just annoying all around. BUT, I forced myself to write and then low and behold, the site was down. So...here I am after 20 days...hoping no one has lost the desire to read the next installment of this story.
Thank you for all the awesome reviews of chapter 18. Whether you want them to get married or not, I think we can all agree that this rushed marriage will have lots of ups and downs, but will hopefully end in pure joy.
So...you've waited long enough and I'll stop rambling...chapter 19. Enjoy!
PS: This is my second attempt at posting, as my new laptop keeps losing connection to WiFi and I lost the whole thing after I edited it in the document manager...ugh! Plus, I can't even find all the mistakes I edited last time, so I apologize for typos. Anyway...I have this thing hooked up with a cord like it's the dark ages or something. Stupid new laptop...
Again...please enjoy this chapter. LOL
February 14, 2015 8:15 AM
Elliot walked down the hall toward Olivia's hospital room. He'd had a rough night, talking to all the kids, inviting them to the wedding, hearing them question him over and over again about why he was doing this. He knew they wouldn't be happy, but he thought they'd at least try to understand. Maureen had agreed to come to the wedding, none of the other kids had. Dickie said he'd think about it, Kathleen flat out refused, and Lizzie said she'd try. Still, none of them seemed thrilled with the idea of being there, and while he knew they weren't impressed with the thought of him and Olivia as a couple, he'd hoped they'd be there for him because he was their father and they loved him. It hurt to know they couldn't put their anger aside for him. He had to push those feelings away though. He couldn't let Olivia know he was upset about it. She wanted to get married…she needed him to stay…he couldn't back out now. She needed him.
He stood in the doorway and she didn't notice him. She was raised in bed, the TV on some local news broadcast and she appeared to be trying to eat, but he could tell she was having a hard time managing it without the use of her right arm. "Hey…you need some help?" he asked, trying to forget his worry over the kids and walking to her bedside.
She turned to look at him and shook her head, "No…I'm not very hungry anyway."
"Liv…" he sat next to her and gave a gentle smile, "You have to eat. I'm really worried about the babies…and you…it's not healthy."
"I know…" she sighed. "I swear I'm trying. I just feel so sick and before this happened, I wasn't getting sick anymore. I was eating…I'd put on some weight…but now, I just feel horrible…"
"Here…" He picked up the spoon and dipped it in the oatmeal bowl, raising it to her lips, "Let me help you…and you just eat half of it…okay?"
She reluctantly took the bite, swallowing it slowly. "El…I can't…" she grimaced. "Please…don't make me eat that…" her eyes were tearful and he felt guilty for trying to force her.
"Liv…" he sat the spoon down and moved her tray to the side table. "What are we gonna do? You have to eat something. Is there anything you feel like eating? I can go get it…Anything you want…I just want you to eat."
She shook her head, "I just don't want to throw up again…" she swallowed again, trying to ease the nausea. "I threw up twice already…it hurts so much…"
"Okay…" he put his hand carefully on her stomach, "Just try to relax…"
"El…don't touch me…" she sighed, her face pale, "I'm sorry…but just don't touch me…"
He took his hand off of her and looked sadly at her, "I'm sorry…" he said. "I didn't mean to make it worse." He sighed, "What can I do? What do you need me to do?"
"Nothing…" she tried to exhale slowly. "I'm sorry…I don't mean to be like this…but every inch of my body aches and I can't think of anything else…"
"It's okay," he tried to assure her. "You're sick…I don't want you worrying about how you're acting with me. I just want to help you feel better."
She closed her eyes and let her hand rest on her stomach. "It's our wedding day…" she whispered. "Isn't it bad luck for you to be here anyway?" she asked, and he wasn't sure if she was serious.
"I think I need to be here," he said softly. "You shouldn't be alone. He watched her grimace in pain and sighed, "How long has it been since you've have pain meds?"
She shook her head and exhaled slowly, "I don't want them…" she insisted. "They are not good for the babies, El. I can manage this."
"You have a bullet wound," he reminded her. "God, Liv…I thought we went over this last night. You can't be in this much pain. It's probably the main reason you can't eat now. You're physically ill from the intensity of the pain. I can't believe they are even letting you make this decision…you're not thinking clearly."
"I'm thinking just fine," she argued. "Besides, the pain meds made me nauseous too, so it doesn't make a difference when it comes to me being able to stomach that disgusting oatmeal. I don't want my babies being born with some kind of preventable birth defect or too small or addicted to painkillers…" she closed her eyes, trying to breathe through the pain.
"And I don't want my wife suffering in agony when she doesn't have to," he argued. "Or miscarrying because she's too stubborn to realize how badly the pain is affecting our babies too…"
"I'm not your wife…" Olivia sputtered.
"Oh right…for the next few hours…" Elliot rolled his eyes in defeat. "I forgot…"
"I'm not hurting the babies…" Olivia cried. "I'm trying to protect them. I almost got them killed. I owe them this chance…"
"Liv…" Elliot sighed, knowing she was punishing herself for what had happened and wishing he knew how to ease her guilt. "Honey…you didn't do anything wrong. It just happened. The crazed wife-beater with the gun caused this…not you. You have to stop beating yourself up about it…and if you think laying here in agony will make up for what happened somehow…then that's just wrong. You need to top punishing yourself."
"Do you think they feel my pain?" she asked sadly. "Really? I don't want them to suffer."
"I think they can sense something is wrong," Elliot whispered. "They know their mommy is hurting and it makes them scared and uncomfortable. I think your body could decide the pregnancy along with the bullet wound and pain is too much…"
"I don't want to lose them," she cried. "But I don't want to hurt them either."
"They will be fine," Elliot promised. "I know they will."
"What if they're not?" she asked. "What if they have physical problems that could have been prevented by not taking the pain meds?"
"If there is anything wrong with the babies…we'll deal with it," he insisted. "You're in the second trimester, so the risk is less. You won't be taking them forever. I know the twins will be fine, but if something comes up then we'll be prepared for it. We'll love them anyway."
"I love them now," Olivia sobbed. "I want to do what is best for them now…and I don't know what that is. I don't want to make the wrong choice."
"Then let me make it," Elliot said gently. "I want you to take the pain meds. I think it's the right choice for you and for the twins. If something happens…I'll take all the blame. I just want all three of you to be okay. I want you to be able to think clearly without having the pain consuming your thoughts. I want you to be able to eat, so the twins can get the nourishment they need. I want you to heal so we can go home and start this new life together. Can you do that for me? Let me make this decision? I know you went into this alone…and I haven't been a very big part of this pregnancy before now…so let me do this. Let me make this choice for our family, Liv. Okay?"
"Okay…" her words were barely audible and Elliot reached out and squeezed her hand before buzzing for the nurse.
"It's gonna be okay," he whispered. "I promise."
February 14, 2015 12:15 PM
"We're here…" Elliot came into the room carrying Noah and holding on to Eli's hand. Olivia was sitting in bed, eating lunch and he smiled realizing it was the first time he'd seen her eat without looking green. He walked over to the bed, and sat in the chair with Noah in his lap while Eli sat on the edge of the bed. "You doing okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," Olivia forced a smiled. "Better now that my guys are all here." She reached out and squeezed Noah's chubby little fist. "How's Mommy's boy?" she asked gently.
"Fin said he was good all night, but I think he's ready for you to come home," Elliot tousled the little boy's dark hair. "You miss your mama don't you?"
"Mama…" Noah giggled and grabbed her finger.
"I missed you too, buddy," Olivia said. Then she looked at Eli and smiled, "How are you doing? I'm glad you came…"
"Dad says you're gonna be his wife now," Eli said and it was hard to tell how he felt about it. Olivia nodded gently, "So Noah can be my brother?" Eli asked.
"Yes," Olivia nodded. "He'll love having a big brother."
"I'm gonna be a good brother," Eli grinned with wide-eyes. "We're gonna have so many babies around here!"
Elliot laughed, "Yes…we are…" his voice trailed off as if he'd just realized the truth behind that statement. He looked at Olivia and smiled, "You ate something…that's good. Is your nausea better?"
She shrugged, "I ate half my tuna sandwich and it stayed down. My stomach hurts though…it's not really nausea…more like an ache."
"Did you tell the nurse?" he asked nervously.
She nodded, "We think it's probably from me throwing up so much. Maybe some pulled muscles or just left over aches and pains from the shooting. I fell pretty hard so I have some bruises. It's probably nothing."
"Probably…" Elliot agreed. "But if you feel worse…like crampy…tell me." She nodded and he looked seriously at her. "Promise me, Liv."
"I promise," she said, picking up a chocolate chip cookie off her plate and pushing it against the tray with her good hand, breaking it in two uneven pieces. She handed the bigger half to Eli and the smaller one to Noah, "For my boys…" she smiled.
"Liv…" Elliot sighed. "You need to eat."
"I did," she insisted. "I don't feel like eating anymore. I told you, my stomach hurts…"
"Can I feel the babies move yet?" Eli asked, wiping the cookie crumbs from his face. "You said I could when they got bigger. Remember?"
Olivia smiled, "They're still not big enough," she said. "I wish they were. I'd like to feel them too." She ran her hand over her stomach, letting it take shape beneath the light blanket. "Soon…"
"Your tummy looks big enough," Eli insisted. "It's getting real big…"
"Eli!" Elliot gasped. "You don't say things like that…it's not nice…"
The little boy's face dropped and his lip quivered, "I'm sorry…" he whispered.
"No…it's okay," Olivia said with a smile that made Eli feel better. She looked at Elliot, "He's right. I'm so big…"
"No you're not," Elliot argued. "You're having twins."
"I know that," she laughed, "But I am big. I'm feeling it today too…" she sighed, rubbing her hand over her stomach once more. "I just feel so pregnant today…I haven't felt like this before…"
"Well, you are pregnant," Elliot smiled. "What do you mean? Do you feel bad?"
She shook her head slightly, "Not really…I just feel heavy…like there's this pressure and I've not felt like that before. I think the achiness isn't helping…and my shoulder is feeling really stiff and sore too…" she sighed, "My body isn't happy right now. You were right about the pain meds. I shouldn't have let my pain get so bad because I'm having a hard time recovering from it."
"Liv…" Elliot sat Noah down on the floor and Eli climbed down and played with him. "This pressure…" he put his had carefully on her stomach. "Where are you feeling it? Down low? All over?" He ran his hand carefully over the swell of her stomach.
"Elliot…stop worrying," she insisted. "It's not the babies…I'm not having contractions…"
"Are you sure?" he asked. "We should get it checked out."
"The nurse already did," she reminded him. "She said I'm fine. Stop worrying."
"I can't help but worry…' he leaned forward, kissing her softly on the lips and she felt herself blush. She wondered if kissing him would ever feel right to her. She wanted it, but after so many years of denying their feelings it felt wrong somehow. "You and these babies…" he smiled. "You mean everything to me. I just want you to be okay."
"We are okay," she smiled. "I swear…" she picked up the banana from her tray and handed it him. "Can you peel this for me? I want to eat it…"
He laughed, "I thought you weren't hungry," he said, pulling at the yellow banana peel.
Olivia shrugged, "I'm not…but if I eat then you'll stop worrying so much." She grabbed the banana from him and took a bite. "So…we should probably talk about this wedding, don't you think? It's happening in a few hours."
Elliot nodded, "I've got the boys…Fin said everyone from the squad would be here, Maureen is coming…"
"Just Maureen?" Olivia asked knowingly. She could see the sadness on his face when he nodded. "I'm sorry, El…I wish the kids weren't so upset. I know they hate me…"
"They don't…" he insisted. "They hate me…and it's my fault. I shouldn't have sprung everything on them so quickly…"
"I'm the one who chose to get pregnant now," she reminded him. "You didn't have a say in that. So they shouldn't blame you."
"I'm the one who chose to be a sperm donor without asking their mother," Elliot added. "That's why they're angry. They'll get over it. I know they will. When they see these two…" he let his hand rest on her stomach, "They won't be able to resist them."
"I hope so…" Olivia sighed. "I want my kids to have a family."
"They do…they have a mom and dad who love them…" he looked over at the boys playing on the floor, "And two silly big brothers who will adore them." He grinned, but then quickly changed the subject, "Did you find a judge to marry us? I know you said you would, but you've been in so much pain…"
"I texted Judge Linden," Olivia said. "She's the one who gave me Noah. She seemed a little shocked, but said she'd be happy to do it. She'll be here around 5:00."
"Sounds good," Elliot leaned forward and kissed her again. Then he brushed her hair back from her face and looked at the bruise on her head, "Does that hurt?" he asked. "It looks worse than yesterday."
She shrugged, "It's not that bad." She yawned, "My whole body hurts."
"I think you need a nap," Elliot suggested. "I need to take the boys to eat lunch anyway. So we'll let you get some sleep and then come back later."
"El…I'm sorry…" she cried.
"For what…honey, everything is fine," he promised.
She shook her head, "I'm sorry we have to get married this way. I know it's rushed…and your kids won't come…and I look like shit…"
"You look beautiful…always…" he smiled. "And so what if it's a little rushed? It'd happen eventually anyway so it might as well be now when you need me here…and my kids are making their own choice in the matter. You can't blame yourself for their decisions."
"Are you going to be in trouble at work?" she asked seriously. "Your boss is going to be pissed that you're not going undercover…"
Elliot shook his head, "You let me worry about work, okay? I've got it under control…" he leaned forward once more, this time kissing her forehead gently. "Get some sleep…the boys and I will be back in a while."
February 14, 2015 5:30 PM
"Hey…you look beautiful…" Elliot said, walking into the room and noticing a nurse brushing blush across Olivia's cheeks. She had small lavender flowers pinned in her hair and the makeup took away some of the pallor from her cheeks, although it did little to hide the bruise on her head.
"I'll leave you two alone," the nurse smiled and walked to the door. "I'm going off duty now anyway, so good luck. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Thanks…for everything," Olivia smiled as the woman left the room and then grinned at Elliot. "You look pretty good yourself, El." She noticed his dark blue suit and crisp white shirt. "Did you have to buy a new suit? Isn't all your stuff in DC?"
"I needed a new suit anyway," he winked at her and leaned forward to kiss her but she pushed him away.
"Don't," she insisted. "Wait until the wedding. Please…"
"Okay," he laughed. "Why…do you think it's bad luck or something?"
"No," she shook her head, "But I can't redo my makeup by myself and I don't want to look sickly and pale. It's bad enough I have to wear this," she pulled at the hospital gown with a disgusted sigh.
"At least it's white," he teased.
"I think we're past that…don't you?" she chuckled.
"No," he said seriously. "I mean…you and I…we've never actually…"
"Oh my God," she gasped. "You're right. I guess I kind of forgot that…with the twins and all…"
Elliot laughed, "It's okay…something for us to look forward to when you're feeling better."
"El…" she looked more serious and it worried him. "Are you sure…sure you want to do this? I mean…what if we're not…compatible…what if we don't like being together…"
"Are you serious?" he asked, shaking his head. "That's not going to happen. I've dreamt of making love to you from the first moment I met you…I can't wait…"
"But it might be a long wait," she said sadly. "And I don't want you to be disappointed…maybe this was a mistake…"
"What the hell are you saying?" he asked, his voice frustrated. "Olivia…we are getting married…and I don't care if we have to wait until after the twins are born before we can have sex…it will be worth the wait."
"I hope we don't have to wait that long," she laughed and he smiled.
"Me too…" he leaned forward, "I promise, I won't smear your makeup…" and he kissed her softly on the lips.
Maureen and Elizabeth walked in with Eli and Noah and Maureen sighed, "Are we interrupting?" she asked, as the two pulled away from their kiss.
"You made it," Elliot hugged his daughters and looked at Elizabeth with appreciation, "Thanks…for deciding to come..." he whispered.
"I couldn't miss it," she said, holding Noah and walking him over to where Olivia was laying.
"Oh my gosh…you look so handsome," Olivia said tearfully, noticing his little suit that matched Elliot's and realizing Eli's matched as well. "El…you got them matching suits?"
"We needed something to keep us busy today," he laughed. "Besides…we all wanted to look handsome for you."
"I'm hating this hospital gown more and more," she sighed.
"You look gorgeous in anything," he reminded her.
"Everyone is out in the lobby waiting," Maureen told them. "Most of Liv's squad and the judge. They said we should check and make sure you're ready."
"We're ready," Elliot looked at Olivia who nodded in agreement. Maureen went to get the rest of the wedding guests and Elizabeth sat Noah on the bed next to his mother.
The crowd gathered in the room and stood around the bed. Elliot picked up Noah, sitting him in his lap while he situated himself on the edge of Olivia's bed. Eli leaned on his father's shoulder and Maureen and Elizabeth stood on the other side of the bed. "This is a lovely family already," Judge Linden smiled. "I must say this is one of the most unusual weddings I've been a part of…but I'm always up for anything."
"That's why I asked you," Olivia laughed. "You gave me my son, and he's been the biggest blessing of my life. I figured I should ask you to be a part of this one too."
"Well, I'm honored," the judge smiled. "And you're going to be okay, right? The shooting…"
"Oh, I'm fine," Olivia insisted. "I'll make a full recovery…and Elliot will help me with Noah until I can do things on my own again…"
"And after," he reminded her. "I'm gonna be your husband…his dad…"
"I just meant…" Olivia started to explain, but the judge cut her off.
"We know what you meant," the older woman smiled, pushing a strand of her gray hair behind her ear and pulling some paperwork out of her bag. "Let's get started then…shall we…" She began to read through the tradition wedding ceremony and Elliot watched as Olivia took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He wondered if she was second-guessing her decision, but she didn't say anything.
"She's gonna go through with it," Nick snickered, whispering to Amanda.
"She's lost it," Amanda rolled her eyes. "She barely knows this guy anymore…"
"Yeah she does," Fin sighed. "And he's what she wants…he's the one she's always wanted."
"And you don't care?" Nick asked. "After what he did to you?"
"I got some good shots in," Fin smiled, "Let it go, Nick…they'll be fine. If not…I'll kick his ass…"
"Do you have the rings?" Judge Linden asked and Olivia shook her head.
"We didn't have time," Olivia explained.
"No…I have your ring," Elliot smiled, pulling a small velvet box from his pocket.
"Elliot…" Olivia looked tearfully at him. "Where did you get that?"
"I told you…the boys and I had to keep busy all afternoon," he smiled, opening the box and revealing the white-gold band with matching diamond engagement ring. "I hope you like it."
"I love it," she cried. "But you didn't have to…we don't have yours…"
"I'll get mine later," he said. "We can get one to match yours or we can pick out new ones if you don't like this…"
"I love it," she insisted, brushing away the tears that were sliding down her cheeks. "I told you not to mess up my makeup…" she laughed, blinking away the tears as he slid the ring set on her finger.
"You may kiss the bride," Judge Linden's voice boomed with excitement and Elliot handed Noah to Maureen and leaned forward to kiss his wife.
"I love you…" he whispered, pulling away from the kiss while the small group of friends and family in the room put aside their reservations over the quick union and clapped for the happy couple.
"I love you too, El…" she said, kissing him once more. "So much…"
"I'm sorry to interrupt…" the new evening nurse walked in and looked around the room. "We're gonna have to ask some of you to leave now. Visiting hours are over and we made an exception for the wedding…but Olivia needs to have her vitals checked and it's almost dinner time…"
"No…" Olivia pleaded. "Can't they stay for a little while?"
"I'm sorry…" the nurse said sadly.
"It's okay, Liv," Nick hugged her and smiled, "It was a beautiful little wedding. We'll all go so you can rest."
"I don't want to rest," Olivia insisted.
"Do you want me to keep Noah tonight?" Fin asked.
"I can," Elizabeth offered. "Dad…I can keep both boys if you want. Spend time with them."
"Back at your mom's?" Elliot asked and Elizabeth nodded. He looked to Olivia for approval.
"Why don't you stay at my place," Olivia offered. "All of Noah's things are there…his diapers, his clothes and food…it'd be easier…"
"Okay," Elizabeth agreed. "We can stay there."
"But Dad, you said I could have a cupcake from the cafeteria," Eli reminded his father with a slight whine.
"I'll get you one, Eli," Maureen promised. "We all need to eat anyway…so we'll go have dinner and then get cupcakes on the way home. Okay?" He nodded in agreement.
"Well then if you don't need me, I think I'll head back to the squad room and get some work done," Fin leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. "Congratulations…I hope he makes you happy." Then he looked at Elliot and smirked, "You better make her happy." Elliot rolled his eyes and Fin, Nick, and Amanda made their way out of the room, followed by Maureen, Elizabeth and the boys who'd left after several hugs and kisses.
"I guess that leaves me," Judge Linden smiled, and held up their marriage license. Amanda and Nick had signed as witnesses before they left and so it was all ready to finalize. "Should I file this when I get back to work on Monday?" she asked.
"Yes…please…" Elliot smiled, and Olivia nodded.
"Okay…congratulations you two," the judge smiled. "Sergeant Benson…get well soon, okay? Your family needs you at home."
"I know," Olivia sighed and waved slightly as the judge walked out of the room.
"Alone at last," Elliot teased, leaning in a kissing her again, but they were interrupted by an orderly bringing in her dinner tray. "That was short-lived…" he laughed. He grabbed the tray from the man and smiled, "Thanks," he said as the orderly left the room. Then he put her bed-tray up and sat the food in front of her. "Eat…"
"What about you?" Olivia asked. "You have to eat something. I'll share…"
"No you won't," Elliot insisted. "You have to eat for you and the twins. I'll grab something in the cafeteria later."
"El…I'm not hungry," Olivia insisted, taking a small bite of her gravy covered meat and turning pale.
"Just try…" he sighed, knowing it was a losing battle. She looked exhausted and weak and he wondered how she'd made it through the wedding. "Do you want pain meds? Would that help?"
She shook her head, "It's not that…I just feel achy and tired…" she put her hand on her stomach and bit her bottom lip. "El…remember when you said I should tell you if I felt different…"
"Yeah…" his face dropped and he put his hand on top of hers. "What's going on?"
"I don't know…" her eyes filled with tears. "But something's wrong…"
"What's wrong?" Elliot asked nervously. "What does it feel like? How long has it been going on?"
She shook her head, "Just a little while…these little twinges…I felt the first one when Judge Linden was asking about filing the license…and I've had a couple more since…"
"Okay…" Elliot ran his hand across the back of his neck and tried to stay calm, "It's probably nothing…I'll run down tot he nurse's station and get help…"
"No…don't leave me…" Olivia cried, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "This hurts…I'm afraid...I don't want to lose my babies…"
"You won't," he insisted, "Liv…you have to calm down…breathe a little…" he pushed the button for the nurse and held her hand, rubbing his other one over her stomach and noticing the tightness beneath his touch. "Everything will be fine…" he promised, but he wasn't sure he was right. Maybe the wedding had been too much stress for her or maybe this would have happened regardless, but he was scared something was seriously wrong and he didn't want to face it…to watch her go through such a traumatic loss, "Liv…everything is going to be okay…I promise you..."
"I believe you..." she said tearfully, releasing her grasp as her pain lessened. "I'm sure you're right..."
"I know I am..." he said, his pulse racing as they waited for the nurse. "Please hurry..." he mumbled under his breath, then he turned to his wife and forced a weak smile. "Everything's gonna be fine..."
More to come...much faster than last time...I promise!