Notes at the end...

Disclaimer: I own nothing Supernatural

Mya: I think you're going to like this chapter... you'll see why

By the time I exited the bathroom I had a clear head. I knew that I had a brief lapse in judgement but it was just the effects of not seeing him for so long and from leaving so abruptly, or at least thats what I was telling myself.

I was about to re-enter the room that I had come to know as the Library when I heard soft whispering from within.

"I asked you to reconcile with her, not jump her bones the first chance you get Dean," I heard Sam harshly chastise.

"It's not like I tried to!" Dean countered. "Our hands touched and next thing you know we were in my bed. And she wasn't stopping me either." he added under his breath. Were they really having this conversation when I could walk in at any moment? How dumb were they? Oh wait I already knew the answer to that.

"Of course she didn't! Emotionally speaking she's a wreck." His voice slightly caught at the last word but after a deep breath he continued. "Who knows how long she's going to make it if she keeps doing what she's doing." he whispered. I had heard enough, who does he think he is? Does Sam think I'm suicidal or something? It's not like I'm throwing myself into burning buildings or anything, although there was that one time about two months ago...but that wasn't the point. Before Dean could even open his mouth I stormed into the room, my blood boiling under my veins.

"What exactly am I doing Sam?" Sam and Dean were both momentarily silent, trying to think of something to say to save their asses. Dean looked like he just got caught stealing the last cookie while Sam was comically opening and closing his mouth.

"We just want to help you Aurora," Sam finally said. I immediatly softened slightly, but not all the way, they were acting like I was some drug addicted teenager. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed before plopping into an open chair. I stared at the cracked and faded wood of the table for a moment, not trusting my voice to be strong. Thankfully Dean broke the silence.

"Hey Sammy can I speak to Aurora alone," he whispered, with that Sam got up and left the room, all the while I had yet to look up from the table. The silence hung thickly, neither of us knew what to say, but after a moment I cleared my throat.

"I'm sorry for earlier, that was wrong of me," I said finally. Dean's loud laugh made me look up sharply, it was certainly unexpected.

"You are the one apoligizing to me? Wow I'm such a dick." he said chuckling, causing my lips to lift a little at the corners.

"I'm not disagreeing Winchester." I said laughing a bit.

"I'm truly sorry Aurora, none of this would have happened if it weren't for me." I grew quiet once again, we were finally having the talk that I dreaded having. Out of a nervous habit I bit my lip.

"The past is the past Dean, we can't change it." I murmured. As much as I knew this conversation needed to happen I simply didn't want to have it. Of course these past few months had been less than great, and maybe I could have been more careful on some hunts, but there was no need for a god damn intervention.

"Obviously not if you're acting like this." he replied, obvious irratation lacing his tone.

"Like what Dean? God, you and Sam keep saying I'm acting like 'that' yet neither of you will give me a fucking answer as to what 'that' is!" I said all the while my voice grew louder and louder until I was practically screaming.

"Like you don't give a fuck about anything!" he screamed back at me. "Like you just don't care if you die," his voice was barely above a whisper by the time he finished. I felt as though he had slapped me, so I sat there shocked, my mouth still gaping open from when I had thought to reply. Once I realized I snapped my mouth shut and clenched my jaw, he wasn't exactly wrong.

"And what if I didn't." I said looking him in the eyes. Within seconds his features flooded with so many emotions I could barely keep up, anger, fear, regret, and sadness. We sat in silence for a while, neither one knowing what to say or what to do, just keeping eye contact. It was true that it was his fault I was like this but I forgave him a long time ago, at the same time this was me now, and nothing was going to change that.

"Then I really am a terrible human being," he said as he grabbed my hand and tried to bring me in for a hug but I pulled away from him. I didn't want to hear this anymore but he just continued. "I'm so sorry for everything, I don't know what happened I just felt like we were drifting apart so I...I don't know. And I know that's not your fault; it's mine. You just worked a lot and I know it was to support us so I am so sorry for cheating, but I loved you I did, I still do..." he was rambling by then but it was all things I expected him to say, it meant nothing. I got up from the table and paced the floor, although what he was saying wasn't exactly wrong it doesn't mean I wanted to listen, so I left shortly after. I arrived back in the room that I had woken up to this morning, so much had happened since then.

I decided that pacing the floor wouldn't help my situation so when I looked at the clock on the night stand and saw that it was already ten at night I figured some sleep would do me some good.

When I woke up the next morning I felt a little better, rest that didn't involve nightmares was a godsend to me and last night was one of those nights. I walked out of my room at around eight and wandered to the kitchen, expecting to find Dean or Sam but neither were there so I walked to the Library and once again it was empty. I then bumped into Sam in the hallway on the way to Dean's room.

"Hey Sammy have you seen Dean?" I asked. I didn't miss the small smile that formed on his face as I once again used his nickname.

"No, I haven't seen him, he might still be sleeping." He replied, I was about to walk away when he grabbed my arm. "I'm sorry for last night Aurora, you know I'm just worried." he said sheepishly. I simply took his hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze.

"I know Sammy, I forgive you." with that I turned back around and went to Dean's room. I lightly knocked on the door, expecting him to open it yet it was completely silent. I opened the door and found the room empty, the bed looked as if they hadn't been touched since our little 'tryst' yesterday.

I walked back to the library and found Sam trying to call someone on his phone, after a few more rings he hung up, his face forming a grimace.

"The Impala's not in the garage," he stated, "What happened last night?" he asked me, still trying to call who I assumed to be Dean.

"Dean and I got into a little disagreement so I went to my room and fell asleep." I replied, all the while wondering if Dean was okay or if he even went to sleep in his own room last night.

"At what time?" he continued, finally stopping with the callls and looking me straight in the eyes, all business.

"Around 10, it didn't look like he slept in his own bed last night." I recalled, this is not good, not good at all.

"Dean usually lets me know if he's leaving for longer than a few hours. Well at least he did when we were still hunting together." He said while pacing the room, after a minute he stopped and walked briskly out of the room, I didn't know what else to do so I followed him all the way to the front door, and together we stepped into the cold morning air. It didn't take long for panic to settle into my bones, for not even ten feet from the door was the Impala with the engine still purring and an empty drivers seat.

Dean's POV

~earlier that night~

I was stupid. An idiot. An asshole. I didn't mean to say everything I had but once I started I couldn't stop, with that said I knew that I meant every word. Aurora was truly out of control, from what Sam was saying to my own observations in the short time she had been here something was obviously wrong her. And I was the one who caused it. Every time she looked at me I kept expecting to see love in her eyes like all those months ago, but now all I see is ice, and If I look when she isn't, pain. I was ashamed of everything I had done to her, she trusted me, loved me, quit the only thing in the world she knew just to make me happy, and I threw it all away by sleeping with someone because I was drunk and lonely.

And now I threw it all in her face once again, she obviously didn't buy anything I was saying and I didn't blame her, I said the thing everyone expected me to say, just like that night eight months ago. I never said anything from the heart, only rehearsed lines one hears from cheaters.

After Aurora left the room I sat in my pain for a while, I knew it was late but I also knew I wouldn't be able to sleep so I decided to take a drive to clear my head.

Once inside the Impala my mind seemed to defrost with the steady thrum of the engine, if all else fails I knew that this car would always be there for me, even if I'm not even there for myself. I pulled out of the bunker and was greeted with the clear night sky, I was so caught up looking at the stars I nearly missed the woman standing in the street.

I slammed the breaks a mere inch from her battered face and immediately reached for Ruby's knife that was hidden under the front seat. I carefully got out of the car, not bothering to turn it off and approached the woman. She looked tired and scared with scratches and patches of blood all over her body. I deduced that she wasn't a threat and tucked away the blade, yet kept it in reach if I turned out to be wrong.

"Hello? Miss? Can I help you?" I asked her. She peeked up at me from behind a dark curtain of hair and I watched as the fear on her face melted into a smirk.

"Why yes Dean, you can," the last thing I saw was her black eyes as a sharp pain cut through my head and the world went black.

So there's a semi-long update for you guys! I'm sorry my chapters have been sucky lately, my house has a mold problem so we had to demold the entire house and I had to get rid of a bunch of irreplacable memorabilia, so much cry, such sad. Thanks for reading and please leave a review so I know how it was, also I see that in some of my chapters when I upload the story it seems to delete certain words or replace phrases which is weird so let me know if you see anyhting like that :)

Also we only have a few more chapters to go but there will be a sequel so stay tuned for that! As for what to expect in the chapters to come I will be adding other POV's after some thought to Mya's reviews. Anyways like I said, thank you and please leave a review.

Ciao