Author's Note:
Sorry for the long, long, long delay… And thank you for the PM's and reviews...
Here's the next chapter and I promise the next will follow soon…
Enjoy and review as usual… Thanks!
ooooOOOOoooo
The nightmare continued for what seemed to be hours, repeating and becoming more gruesome. Gibbs jerked and came violently awake when he couldn't take anymore. The beeping of machines around his head aggravated him. Sweating, mouth dry, eyes wet, head pounding, he tried to sit up.
"Don't." Gibbs felt a hand on his shoulder and tensed. "It will make you dizzier and you will throw up." The voice continued.
Gibbs felt panicked as he looked around the room, his vision blur.
"Calm done, Jethro. Your BP's spiking."
Taking a harsh breath Gibbs ran a shaky hand over his face and looked around again.
"Rothman!" Gibbs didn't want to speak to the shrink, not now when he was weak and shaken from a marathon run of nightmares. "What are you doing here?"
"It's Friday, Jethro. We had an appointment. I heard about your accident and decided to meet you here."
"I'm not in the mood-…"
"I know. I've buzzed the nursing station. We'll wait until your vitals are checked, meds administered and you have something to drink before we discuss that nightmare I pulled you out of."
Shit!
I hope I didn't say anything.
The door flew open as a tall, blonde nurse walked in.
"Agent Gibbs, what can I …" her eyes flew to the beeping monitor.
"Could you take his vitals? His pressure's spiking and I'm sure he has a headache. After you administer his meds, get him a glass of lemon water, warm." Dr Rothman said. When Gibbs and the nurse looked at him, Gibbs trying to glare, the nurse frowning, he continued. "Agent Gibbs is nauseous. I also suggest you arrange a bath for him as it will relax him when I leave."
Gibbs didn't say anything, just remained lying down, which was testimony to how bad he was feeling. The nurse took his vitals. His BP was very high at 135 over 108 and his breathing was shallow.
"Agent Gibbs, I'm going to give you an Apresoline Injection via your IV line to bring your blood pressure down. To counter its side effects I'm going to give you Clopamon for the nausea and Ibuprofen for the headache. You will not be allowed to leave your bed for the next 3 hours as these medications do lead to dizziness." She said as she left the room to get the meds.
Gibbs closed his eyes. It was useless to deny how upset and ill he was. He replayed his conversation with Jenny and knew that it had been real. She really was pregnant with his… baby.
Once all the meds were administered, via IV and intramuscularly, Dr Rothman, started the session.
"Tell me about your nightmare."
"Can't remember it." Gibbs lied.
"Jethro." Rothman
"John, I don't-…"
"Okay, maybe this will jog your memory. You were saying, 'My baby, I killed you. Jen forgive me.'"
Shit!
"I …" Gibbs took a breath. "I don't –"
"Jethro, Jenny spoke to me. I know about the baby."
"You know everything, so why do you need to ask."
"Because, I want to help you. You have a responsibility to Jenny and the baby-…"
"I didn't ask for it. I don't want it. I can't deal with this now." Gibbs was becoming agitated.
"Calm down. Take a few deep breathe." John ordered and waited for Gibbs to proceed.
"Now, tell me what you're really afraid of."
"I'm not afraid…"
"Jethro!"
"I'm … I … I don't want to hurt them… lose them… kill them…" Gibbs gave in.
The pain was too much, the fear of losing them too great.
ooooOOOOoooo
Jenny bit into the dry cracker as she sat behind her desk. She was tired, very worried about Gibbs and in awe of what was happening to her.
Okay so she wasn't showing yet. But her breasts were definitely enlarged and tender. And she felt her babies deep inside her. A fierce sense of protectiveness and unconditional love washed over her.
"I love you, little ones." She whispered.
And your daddy will come around.
He has to…
He is a wonderful man.
He just needs time to deal with his hurts and then he'll be with us.
An image of her and Jethro sitting on his living room couch assailed her. Each held a beautiful new born baby in their arms and their faces with lit with joy.
Please let it be that way.
Then she remembered that she had not told him they were having twins.
ooooOOOOoooo
Dr Rothman stayed with Gibbs and listened to his pain as he described his fears and the nightmare.
"You will not hurt them or loss them. You didn't hurt or kill Kelly, Shannon or Emily."
"I did. I wasn't there when they needed me. I should have been there. I should have- …" Gibbs's voice choked up.
"Yes, you should have been here, but there is no guarantee that you could have saved them. It is too late to do anything for them."
"Don't you think I know that!" Gibbs shouted.
"Calm down Jethro. You have a decision to make." John said.
Gibbs didn't want to face this. He wasn't ready to.
"Are you going to be here for Jenny and your unborn child or are you going to continuing slowly killing yourself for situations that were beyond your control?" John said.
Gibbs took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He was close to tears, the images from the nightmare, flashed in his eyes.
"Think about it carefully. You have a chance to experience a child's love again. Is that worth something to you?" John pushed.
"I don't want to hurt -…"
"Then make the right decision."
"Stop pushing, Rothman. I need to think about it, and I can't with you hounding me, and this headache splitting my skull." Gibbs growled.
"Okay." John backed off. "Okay, I'll see you next week. But you can call me at any time to discuss anything Jethro." John said before leaving the room.
Ducky entered a few moments later. He'd heard about Gibbs' nightmare and spiking BP and he decided to stay with Jethro while he slept.
"Are you okay?"
"No. he wants me to make the right decision but I don't know what that is." Gibbs said.
"Its okay, my friend. Rest now and it will be clearer when you awake." Ducky said.
"Don't want to sleep." Gibbs yawned. The meds were strong and conspired to take him under.
"I'll be here, Jethro." Ducky said, to guard you against your nightmares.
"Jen?"
"She's are the office. She is fine."
"I'm sorry… about earlier." Gibbs yawned again, his eyes closing. "About calling her a liar."
"It's okay. Sleep now." Ducky said, as he pulled up a chair and sat down.
"Duck…"
"Yes, Jethro."
"Is the baby … Jen … Are they healthy?"
Ducky smiled, "Yes, they are doing very well."
"Good." Gibbs sighed as sleep overcame him.
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Author's Note:
That's it for this chapter.
The next sees the team watching Jenny and Tony fishing for details.
Jenny visits Gibbs in hospital.
So stay tuned and review soon. Thanks!