Hello all...thanks again for the nice reviews. I am glad people are enjoying the story, even at my slow pace. I am slowly getting better, so my goal as always is to start posting more frequently, but something always seems to get in the way. I wish it was summer...I need a vacation from work to dedicate time to my writing. LOL

Anyway...mostly happiness in this chapter and not much drama. I don't know why...guess I'm in a good mood or something. Enjoy!

April 29, 2015 11:45 AM

Olivia sat at her desk, trying to finish the pile of paperwork that was overtaking her workspace while Noah napped in the playpen next to her. She'd brought him to work because Lucy had called in sick and she couldn't find anyone else to watch him, but luckily the day had been slower than most. Still she was relieved when the little boy had worn himself out enough to doze off. Pretty soon he'd wake up and want lunch, so she had a very limited amount of time to dedicate to her work.

Her phone buzzed and she picked it up, smiling at the text from Elliot. I'll be in New York Saturday. Do you want to go dancing? I know how much you love that. He'd been back in DC for a little over a month and had only made it back to New York twice before he was sent undercover again. The first time they'd gone to a Broadway show which she knew was something Elliot hated. The second time they'd done a carriage ride through the park and dinner after. Both times they'd managed to work on their relationship as a couple and avoid talking about the babies or the older kids for the duration of their date, but it wasn't easy. She wanted to include Elliot in everything regarding the pregnancy, so she tried to call or text with little updates, but it was hard to do that without letting it consume their relationship. And now he'd been gone for almost four weeks with no contact and he wanted to go dancing. She looked down at the way her blouse pulled tight against the swell of her stomach and sighed…she was definitely not in the mood for dancing, and she suspected he knew that. This was probably his not-so-subtle way of asking how big she was now without coming out and saying it.

Can we do something else? I think my ankles are too swollen for dancing. She texted back and sighed, letting her hand rest against her stomach. At twenty-six weeks she looked and felt much more than six months pregnant. The doctor insisted everything was going fine…normal for twins…but Olivia was sure she'd entered the miserable phase of pregnancy far too early, and it seemed the end was nowhere in sight.

Her phone buzzed again and she glanced at it, Are you feeling okay? Have you talked to the doctor? Do you want me to come up sooner? She sighed, no mention of other date plans, but she'd known that would happen. She couldn't blame him. He cared about the twins as much as she did and he didn't have the chance to be a part of things like they'd both wanted. She felt like he was being left out.

I'm fine. The doctor says the swelling is normal. You can come Saturday and we can find something else to do. Maybe a movie? She texted, thinking she'd give anything to spend time with him. Lately her hormones were in overdrive and she craved his presence. She'd even gone as far as to ask the doctor if sex was safe at this point in her pregnancy and was elated to get the all clear. As an after-though she added, I just want to stay off my feet if I can. I'm sure we'll think of something. I need to get back to work.

She looked back at the paperwork and sighed. She was hungry…a feeling that never seemed to go away nowadays. The doctor said she should eat while she could, because in a few weeks her stomach would feel squished from the pressure of the twins and she'd be limited to small bits of food and battling constant heartburn and nausea. "Can you two let me get something done today?" she mumbled, patting her stomach lightly and avoiding making a trip to the vending machine.

Okay…I'll call tonight Elliot texted one last time and before she could get back to the paperwork, Noah began to fidget in the playpen and she knew there was no way she was going to accomplish anything more.

"Hey sweetie…" Olivia watched as he stood in the playpen and reached for her. She didn't want to get up and she sighed heavily, "Mommy's busy, Noah…can you play for a while?" she asked pleadingly. A knock at the door made them both turn just as Nick walked in.

"Liv…" he said, a grin spreading across his face. "There's someone here to see you."

"Why are you smiling like that?" she asked. "Who is it?" At first she wondered if Elliot had been texting from the squadroom or something, and she almost hoped it was him because she was tired and would have given anything to have him help her out right now, but before she let her thoughts get away from her, a familiar face peeked around the door and she gasped.

"You look surprised to see me," Donald Cragen's voice boomed and his smile was almost as big as Nick's.

"The Captain here decided to come back from his cruise," Nick slapped the older man on the back.

"And I told you I'm not Captain anymore," Don laughed and looked toward Olivia. "They told me you were on leave for a while because you were shot. Don't you know the boss is supposed to stay in the office?" he teased.

"She's good as new now," Nick said. "Even her bad arm is out of the sling…and she can move it around now without too much trouble, right Liv," he smiled and she nodded. "We've been talking his ear off out here for the last half-hour, but I told him you have some pretty big news yourself so he should come in and chat with you." Nick winked at her as he walked out the door.

Olivia sat at her desk, suddenly self-conscious about everything and staring straight ahead. "What're you doing here?" she asked, her voice lacking any emotion.

"Well that's not the warm welcome I was expecting," he said with confusion. Then Noah dropped one of his toys and the floor, and the sound turned their attention to him. "Who is this?" he smiled at the baby and then back at Olivia.

"My son…" she said softly.

Don's eyes widened and he smiled gently, "Your son?" he asked. "How old is he?"

"Eighteen months," Olivia answered. "I'm adopting him…"

"So this is what Nick was talking about," Don smiled and walked over to the baby, kneeling down and handing him his toy. "Hey Buddy…" he whispered. "I'm glad to meet you." Noah took the toy and giggled and Don turned toward Olivia. "What's his name?"

"His name is Noah," she said, wondering why it was so hard to tell him the rest of her news.

"He's adorable, Liv…really…I'm so happy for you," he stood up and looked around the room. "I told you to do something with this office…and you didn't do much," he laughed. "But at least you listened when I told you not to let life pass you by while you were too busy focusing on the job. I know how much you've wanted to be a mom. You deserve this."

Her eyes filled with tears, and she couldn't hold them in. "Thanks…" she sniffled, silently damning her hormones for making her look like a fool. "I'm sorry…" she sputtered, wiping her eyes.

"What's wrong," he asked, surprised by the outburst. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, brushing away more tears, "I'm fine…I just missed you…and I wanted to tell you about Noah but I didn't have any way to contact you…"

"I'm sorry," he said seriously. "I should have left contact info, but I just wanted some time away from here. I missed you though…all of you…I really did. That's why I came back. I wanted to see how the place was doing without me and it looks like you're keeping order around here even with a baby to take care of." He smiled. "You know, I was gonna meet Munch for lunch in a while. Why don't you and Noah join us? I bet he'd love to meet little Baby Benson." He glanced back at the baby, "He hasn't met him yet has he?"

Olivia shook her head, "No…and I'd love to go to lunch…but I need to tell you something else…" She pushed her chair back from her desk, revealing her swollen stomach and let her hand rest on it. "Noah's not the only big change in my life…"

His eyes widened in surprise and it took a moment before he could find the words to speak, "You're pregnant…" he said in disbelief. "This is what Nick was referring too, huh?"

She nodded, "I didn't really know how to bring it up," she admitted.

"When are you due?" he asked. "Should you even be at work?"

"I've still got a while…about three months," she sighed, looking down at her stomach. "Twins…"

"Really?" his look of shock was replaced with a smile. "Well, congratulations…I'm happy for you," he walked closer and noticed the diamond wedding band on her finger. "You got married?" he asked. "I wasn't sure Brian would ever pop the question…"

She shook her head, "No…I'm not married to Brian…" she said. "We broke up…before I adopted Noah. He didn't want to get married and have kids…and I didn't want to think about not having that life…it was for the best."

"Then who?" he asked, shaking his head with confusion. "Liv…you got married and got pregnant…with who?"

She bit her bottom lip nervously, anticipating his reaction. "Elliot…" she said in a near whisper.

"So…he's back…" were the only words he could muster. "If you're happy…I'm happy for you."

She didn't want to tell him they weren't very happy or that they'd rushed into marriage and were separated now, so she just smiled, "I'm happy…" she said, "And I'm starving…so if you still want to take me and this brood to lunch…" she laughed.

"Of course…" he smiled, reaching for her arm and helping her from her chair. "Munch is gonna have a cow when he sees you."

Olivia laughed, "Probably…I'm quite the sight nowadays…I block everything within view…"

"You look beautiful," he insisted sincerely. She bent down to pick up Noah and he reached for him, "Here…let me…you should be taking it easy," he smiled. "Besides, I need to get to know my grandson, right?"

"Your grandson?" Olivia asked and then she nodded, "Yeah…he needs a grandpa…and I can't think of a better one."

April 29, 2015 1:00 PM

Olivia and Don walked into the restaurant and she reached to take Noah from him, "I should change him first," she said, looking around for the rest room.

"Okay," he said, "I think the restrooms are back there." He looked around and saw John Munch sitting with his back toward them, "John's already here. I'll just go wait at the table, unless you need help with Noah?"

Olivia smiled, "I'm fine…trust me, I do this all the time," she said. "Maybe you should give John a heads-up about Noah and the twins. I don't want him to have a heart attack or something."

Don laughed, "Okay…we'll see you in a minute." He walked toward the table and Olivia ducked into the ladies room, situating Noah on the changing table and taking a fresh diaper out of the diaper bag.

"John…" Don's voice boomed with excitement at the sight of his old friend and John Munch turned to look at him, letting his cynical grin spread across his face. "How've you been?"

"I'm good," John stood and shook his former captain's hand before pulling him into a short hug. "How're you doing? Finally decided to come back from the vacation of a lifetime, huh? How's Eileen?"

"She's good…great really," Don smiled and pulled out a chair as they both sat down. "It was an amazing trip. It's been so long since I've had someone like her in my life."

John smiled and nodded, "I'm glad you're happy." He looked around, "I thought you were inviting Olivia to join us? Couldn't drag her away, huh? I expected as much…"

"No she came," Don said, unsure of how to proceed with Olivia's news. It wasn't his news to tell, and he wasn't sure why she'd asked him to. "She's in the ladies room." He cleared his throat, "Did you know she has a kid now?"

Munch nodded, "Oh yeah, Nick told me something about it. A boy she found during a case…she's adopting him, right? I'm happy for her. Motherhood has always been her ultimate dream and she deserves it after all she's been through."

Don nodded, "He's adorable…she seems happy," he wrung his hands and sighed, "Did you know Elliot's back?"

John's eyes widened, "No…really? I didn't expect him to come back after he ended everything so abruptly."

Don looked at him seriously, "She's married to him…" he said, watching John's face drop in surprise. "And she's pregnant…"

"She's what?" John asked in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

Don nodded, "She's very pregnant…she looks like she's gonna go into labor any second."

"I can't believe it," John said shaking his head. "Nick never mentioned that…but I haven't talked to him in a while…"

"Well, you can see for yourself…" he nodded toward the entryway where Olivia was emerging from the restroom, holding Noah's hand and letting him toddle along beside her. "Here she comes."

John turned and saw her coming toward them, standing as she approached the table. "Olivia…" he said with a smile, reaching out and hugging her, "Look at you…"

"It's hard to miss me," she teased, releasing the hug and sitting down, pulling Noah into her lap.

"Looks like a lot has happened since I saw you last," John teased. "Who's this little guy?"

"This is Noah," she smiled. The waitress came by to take drink orders and Olivia asked for a highchair and laughed as the waitress walked away to get it. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to hold him in my lap much longer…my lap is disappearing."

"Why didn't you tell anyone about you and Elliot?" John asked. "I would've paid a million bucks to come to that wedding."

The waitress came back with the highchair and Olivia situated Noah in it. "Well, it was sort of a last minute thing. I should've called you. I'm sorry…"

"When is the little Benson-Stabler making an appearance?" John asked. "You look like it could happen before dessert."

"Gee, thanks…" Olivia sighed and ran her hand over the swell of her stomach. "I still have three months. Twins…"

"There's no way you'll make it three more months," John sputtered teasingly, until he saw the tears forming in her eyes. "Hey…I'm just teasing…don't cry…"

"I'm not crying…" Olivia sniffled, brushing her tears away. "I mean, I'm not trying to cry…"

"Hormones…" Don said with a slight smile. "He didn't mean to hurt your feelings though."

Olivia shook her head, "My feelings aren't hurt…" she said gently. "I just…I worry about them coming too early…"

"Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine," Don insisted.

"I know they will…even if they're early I know they'll be okay," Olivia said. "But Eli…he has leukemia and he needs a cord blood transplant from one of the babies and if they are too early the doctors won't do it…and if Eli dies, Elliot will never forgive me…"

"Liv, calm down," John said gently. "I'm sure Elliot wouldn't blame you for that."

"Of course he wouldn't," Don added. "He knows you can't control when the babies come."

"He is so different though," she said. "All this with Eli, it's consuming him…and it should…I know that. I'm just afraid he won't love these babies if they can't save his son. And I don't want them to feel unloved…I don't want to feel like we're the reason Eli dies…" she sobbed.

"That's not going to happen," Don said gently. "I know Elliot…better than anyone does…and I know if his son dies it will crush him, but he will not blame you or these innocent babies. He will know he's lucky to have you because you'll be by his side helping him through the grief. He's going to be so grateful for that even though he's in pain. I know that Olivia."

"I hope you're right," she said, pushing her hand gently against her stomach.

"Are you okay?" John asked nervously. "They're not trying to come now are they? I was just joking about that earlier."

"Relax, John," she laughed. "They're just moving around and it's getting a little uncomfortable because they're smooshed in there. They're staying put."

"Thank God…I don't think I've delivered a baby since I was a rookie," he teased and winked at her.

Olivia laughed, "No worries…I won't ask you to deliver my babies…I promise."

April 29, 2015 8:45 PM

Olivia struggled to carry her sleeping child and unlock the door to the apartment, and as she fidgeted with her keys she was surprised when the door swung open and Elliot was standing there. "El…" she gasped. "You scared me half to death. What the hell are you doing here?"

He reached for the baby and she handed him over, putting down her bag and stretching her back to relieve some of the pressure. She watched Elliot walk the sleeping child over to his crib and put him down, and then turn back to her, "I was worried after we talked earlier. And why are you just now getting home? I thought you were cutting back hours?"

"I didn't have a sitter today and it took me forever to get all the stupid paper work done so I could leave," she sighed. "Plus I had lunch with Cragen and Munch and that cut into my worktime so I had even more to do when I got back." She looked toward Noah's crib, "He's been out for almost an hour. I hope he stays asleep. I fed him dinner at the station."

Elliot walked over to her, placing his hand on her stomach, "Did you have dinner?" he asked.

"Really Elliot?" she sighed. "Do I look like I've been missing any meals?" She rolled her eyes and walked farther into the living room, lowering herself on the couch with an exasperated sigh.

"You look like you're working too hard," Elliot said seriously, sitting next to her. "Are you mad I came early?"

She shook her head, "No…I was just shocked when you opened the door. I'm glad you're here…"

He smiled, pulling her close so she could lean into him, "I could tell on the phone that the pregnancy is getting rough…" he admitted. "And I know you want to focus on us, but right now I want to be here for you."

"How long can you stay?" she asked.

"Just through the weekend, but if you need me to stay longer I can figure something out," he insisted. "Do you need me to stay?"

"I'm okay…" she promised. "I'm just tired and I feel huge…and this whole thing is getting harder than I thought it would," she admitted. "Let's just enjoy our weekend, okay? Maybe I'll stay home tomorrow and Friday and we can sleep in and take Noah to the zoo or something."

"You want to walk around the zoo?" he asked skeptically. "Liv, you don't look like you're feeling up to that."

"I'm pregnant…not dying," she argued. "I think it would be fun and we can stop and rest if I need to, right?"

"Sure…if that's what you want," he agreed. "Can you really take the next two days off though?"

"I'll keep my phone on and they can call me if they need me," she said with a yawn.

"You look like you want to go to sleep," he smiled. "It's early, but maybe some extra sleep is just what you need."

She shrugged, "I don't want to go sleep yet." She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips, pulling his face toward her. When she finally pulled away from him she bit her lip nervously, "El…I love you…and really want you…" she kissed him again, running her hand through his short-cropped hair and along his neck, "Let's go to the bedroom…"

He was surprised and couldn't help but smile, "You wanted a break…time for us to focus on our relationship and decide what was best for us," he reminded her.

"We've been married for two months," she said, "And we've never had sex…how are we supposed to move our relationship forward if we don't?"

"Liv…I don't know," he said seriously. "You look so uncomfortable…and is it even safe at this point with the twins?"

"My doctor said it was fine," she insisted.

"You asked if you could have sex?" he asked with a slight grin. "How long have you been planning this? I haven't seen you in a month."

"El…I think it's these crazy hormones, but I want sex…now…" she leaned forward again kissing his neck and biting playfully at his earlobe, surprised when he pushed her away. "You don't want to?" she asked. She leaned back against the sofa and looked down at her stomach, "Is it because I'm so fat now? You're not attracted to me, right? I get it…"

"That is not true…" he insisted. "Olivia…you are gorgeous and I could never not be attracted to you."

"Then what is it?" she asked, tearfully.

He closed his eyes, and sighed, "Liv…we've had such a mixed-up relationship up until now, and I'm afraid you're doing this for the wrong reasons…and I don't want you to regret it."

"I would never regret having sex with you," she argued. "No matter what happens with us, I want to be with you now and I love you more than any man I've ever slept with in the past…but if you don't want to…"

"God Olivia, I've wanted to…for longer than I can remember," he sighed. "Are you sure it's okay…the doctor said it was safe?"

She nodded, "The doctor said I should be doing it now because in a few weeks it's gonna be way too uncomfortable…"

"Honey…I think it's gonna be uncomfortable now…" he said gently. "You realize that, right? I don't want you doing something if it doesn't feel good…"

"I think we can figure it out," she grinned.

"Okay…" he smiled, standing to his feet and bending down, swooping her up in his arms.

"What the hell are you doing?" she gasped.

"Carrying you to the bedroom," he kissed her and walked toward the hallway while she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You're gonna throw your back out," she argued. "Put me down."

"No way…you are light as a feather, even with the two extra passengers…" he insisted, kissing her gently. "Besides, I can't have sex with a woman if I don't sweep her off her feet first."

"You are such a liar," she laughed, as he pushed open the bedroom door and put her carefully on the bed. "I love you, El…" she whispered.

"I love you too," he answered. "So much…"

More soon...