Well...so sorry it has taken me so long to post. There is really no excuse for this. All I can say is that I have been dealing with some personal things that relate in some ways to this storyline and therefore it has been hard to write on this. Hopefully I will be in a writing mood soon, but until then I plan to take a short break from this story. I will not abandon it. I'll be back. I just need some time to work on my personal goals and then I can get back to my fanfic life. I really appreciate the kind comments I've had on this story and the reviews always make me smile. I hope everyone understands that I need to take some time away and will continue reading when I can get back to the story.

So...that being said...I hope you enjoy this chapter.

May 1, 2015 11:00 AM

"I can't believe how much time I've spend in the hospital these last few months," Olivia sighed, letting Elliot help her into the wheelchair the hospital insisted she use to leave.

Elliot nodded, "We'll be back here before you know it," he said. "Let's just hope and pray it's a little bit longer so they can grow some more."

"El…" she said sadly. "I promise you…I'm going to do everything I can to keep from going into labor again. I swear…I want them to come at term and help Eli…and I'm so sorry I haven't been resting as much as I should or staying off my feet…"

"Listen," he knelt down next to her and brushed the tears from her cheeks. "I know you are doing everything you can. This wasn't your fault…"

She shook her head, "I wanted to go to the zoo. You said it would be too much…"

"Liv…the zoo didn't cause this," he insisted. "You heard the doctor. They are running out of room in there and maybe you did overexert yourself some, but it could have been from the night before…"

"We can't have sex anymore," she said sadly. "I'm really sorry…"

"I'm not…" he said seriously. "Well…maybe I'm disappointed…but not with you…with me. I should've been more careful. I was just so caught up in being with you. I've wanted it for so long…"

"El…" she interrupted. "I meant I'm sorry because I want to make love to you…all the time…it was amazing and you were careful…so gentle and sweet…none of this happened because of you."

"I guess we'll never know for sure," he said honestly.

"I know…" she argued. "I'm glad we had that night, because I feel closer to you now than I did before, and I wasn't sure that was possible. I love you…and I know you love me too. I know we can get through all of this together because as long as we have each other, we can do anything…and El, I'm sorry I pushed you away at first. I was so hurt by you leaving and when I decided to use the embryos, I knew I should have tried to find you and tell you…but I didn't really believe it would work anyway, and then all of the sudden I was pregnant and I convinced myself you wouldn't care anyway…"she sobbed, "And that night I ran into Kathy, I knew I had to tell you and I was just afraid things couldn't be the way they were before and I didn't want to let you in because I didn't want to get hurt…"

"Oh Liv…honey…stop crying…" he said gently, stroking her cheek. "I hurt you and I didn't deserve to be forgiven…and I know things will never be the way they were before…"

"No…but I think they can be better," she said seriously. "I think we can move on from the past, and look at everything we have ahead of us…we know now that we can't take happiness for granted, we can't take each other for granted…we have this chance at a brand new life…"

"Yeah, we do," he smiled, resting his hand on the bulge of her stomach. "Let's get you and the boys home…"

"I have to pee first," she laughed a little.

"Of course you do," he chuckled, reaching for her arm and helping her to her feet.

"Blame your ornery sons," she teased. "They are bouncing on my bladder."

"Last night you were afraid they weren't moving enough," he reminded her.

"Well now they are back to beating me up," she snickered.

A few minutes later, Olivia opened the bathroom door and Elliot grabbed her arm guiding her back to the wheelchair. "Be careful…" he said softly as she lowered herself into the chair. "You're not in any pain are you?"

"Elliot…I'm okay. I promise…" she insisted. "I hate this wheelchair. I can walk."

"Hospital rules," he leaned forward and kissed her gently. "Besides, you are not supposed to be on your feet much anyway. I'll get you a wheelchair for home if it will keep those babies in longer." He teased.

"Don't you dare…" she sighed, then laughed a little. "I promise I'll take it easy…okay?"

"Okay," he winked at her. "I'll believe it when I see it."

An hour later Elliot unlocked the door to the apartment and put his arm around Olivia to guide her inside. "I'm fine, El…" she rolled her eyes and pulled away from him as she made her way into the living room.

"Mama…" Noah squealed, running in from the kitchen and Olivia tried to bend down to pick him up, but Elliot grabbed him first.

"No lifting," he said, holding the baby close and kissing him on the cheek. "Did you miss Mommy?" he asked.

"El…I want to hold him," she said as the baby grabbed for her.

"You can," he situated Noah on his hip and grabbed her arm guiding her to the sofa, just as Don walked into the room from the kitchen.

"Welcome home," he smiled as Olivia carefully lowered herself on to the sofa and Elliot handed Noah to her. "He's missed you. Neither of us got much sleep last night."

Olivia looked up at him, "I'm sorry…" she said seriously. "Thank you though. I really appreciate you staying with him."

"I didn't mind at all," he smiled, sitting in the chair across from her while Elliot sat next to her. "How are you doing? Are you feeling okay?"

She nodded, "I'm good…"

"Is she really?" Don looked at Elliot with wide eyes.

Elliot nodded, "She's gonna be fine…and so are the boys."

"The boys?" Don asked, glancing at Olivia and then back at Elliot.

"Yeah," Olivia smiled. "We found out yesterday…we're having two boys." She looked at Noah cuddled up against her belly, sucking his thumb as his eyes grew heavy with sleep and laughed, "I'm gonna have my hands full."

Don laughed, "You sure are…but you'll be great with them. All those years keeping us in line at the station…perfect practice for a house full of little boys."

Olivia grinned, "Thanks…I'm so excited. I can't wait to see them...to hold them."

"Well, hopefully we get to wait a little longer," Elliot said, leaning over and tousling Noah's hair. "You need to get some rest, and it looks like this little guy could use a nap."

"We just got home," Olivia sighed. "I can't sleep for the next three months, Elliot."

"Olivia…" he wanted to argue with her, but he didn't want to upset her.

"You know, I think I should get going," Don said, knowing they were going to have one of their usual disagreements and not wanting to end up in the middle of it. "You call me though if you need anything…anything at all."

Elliot followed him to the door, "Thanks…for everything."

Don nodded and motioned for Elliot to follow him out into the hall. "Don't be so demanding of her Elliot. I know you're trying to do what's best for her and the babies, but she's doing the best she can."

"I'm not being demanding," Elliot insisted. "And I know she's doing all she can. I just want to help."

"She told me about Eli," Don said, his face grief-stricken. "I'm so sorry…"

"I know he's going to be fine," Elliot said truthfully. "The twins are going to match."

"Olivia's scared," Don told him. "She's afraid they won't match and you won't love them."

Elliot shook his head, "That's not going to happen. I've told her that. She knows…"

"Why don't you live here?" Don asked seriously and Elliot's eyes widened. "I stayed here all night. I couldn't help but notice that none of your things are here. Your clothes? Pictures of your kids? All I saw was a suitcase in Olivia's bedroom. I was a detective for a long time, Elliot. She said you were married, but…this doesn't look like a married couple's apartment."

"We are married," he insisted. "But it's complicated."

"Complicated?" Don asked. "Life's complicated Elliot. Olivia deserves a husband who is there for her…especially right now."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Elliot argued. "We've been married for two months and we've barely seen each other… and that was her decision."

"Two months?" Don asked. "So you got her pregnant…married her…and then she changed her mind? Is that what you're saying?"

"No…that's not what I'm saying at all," Elliot yelled. "I didn't get her pregnant."

"Are you saying the twins aren't yours?" Don was surprised. "She said…"

"No…of course they're mine. I…don't even know how to explain this." Elliot sighed. "It's complicated." He took a deep breath and looked sadly at his former boss and friend. He knew Olivia didn't want to tell the whole story and he respected that, but they couldn't just pretend like things were normal between them. "I donated sperm for Olivia…a long time ago…when we were still partners. She had some embryos frozen and she never used them. The cryobank was closing and somehow they convinced her to try to get pregnant. Olivia swears she never thought it would work at her age…but it did…and we hadn't spoken in over three years at the time. She wasn't even going to tell me about the pregnancy, but then she ran into Kathy and found out about Eli and so she told me, because she knew those babies were the only chance to save my son."

"Wow," was the only response Don could muster. "She never said any of that to me."

"She didn't want you to know," Elliot sighed. "This whole thing has been hard on her. Some days she's so excited and others she's overwhelmed and questioning everything. I really and truly think she did it expecting not to get pregnant, and then all of the sudden she was…and now there are two babies…"

"But you're married," Don reminded him.

"I know," Elliot said. "We are married, but we only got married because she was hurt and needed me and I was going to have to go undercover. It was the only way I could stay. Then when she was better…" he sighed. "She basically kicked me out. I went back to DC and we've been working on our relationship…for us and for the kids."

"And this preterm labor scare just threw another wrench into your plans?" Don asked. "You're right…it is complicated. What're you gonna do now?"

"I don't know," Elliot admitted. "I love her…and I love my kids…more than anything. I have to go back to DC on Monday. We haven't thought past the next ten minutes…"

"Elliot…" Olivia's voice called from the other side of the door. "What're you doing out there?"

"I'm coming…" he yelled back, then he turned back to Don. "We'll be okay."

"You can call me…" Don offered. "Either of you…if you need anything. You know that, right?"

"Thanks," Elliot said, waving him goodbye and taking a deep breath before walking back through the door.

May 1, 2015 6:00PM

"I don't know why you had to tell him," Olivia sighed, sitting slowly at the table while Elliot put a steaming bowl of spaghetti in the middle.

"He knew I didn't live here," Elliot sighed. "We've gone over this a million times this afternoon, Liv. He asked and I told him. I know you wanted him to think we had some fairytale, happily-ever-after thing going on here, but he's too smart for that. I don't know why you want to pretend with him anyway." He sat a loaf of garlic bread on the table and sat down across from her, dishing the spaghetti on their plates and then cutting up some of the noodles in a bowl for Noah and putting it in front of him.

"He's gonna make a mess with that," Olivia glanced at her son who had already dropped sauce down his face. Then she looked back at Elliot."I just don't think everyone needs to know our business," she grabbed her plate and twisted the pasta around her fork. "The more people who know…the bigger the chance that someone will tell the twins someday…" She put the bite in her mouth, savoring the tangy goodness.

"Tell them what?" Elliot asked, reaching over and wiping Noah's face with a napkin.

Olivia shrugged, "That they aren't like other kids. That they weren't conceived in love…" She grabbed her garlic bread and took quick, eager bites.

"Olivia…that's not true. They were conceived from the greatest kind of love…and it had nothing to do with sex." Elliot looked into her deep brown eyes. "Even if I wasn't here now…if you hadn't told me about them…you've loved them and wanted them from the very beginning. You've waited so long for them…no mother could love her babies more than you love them. I know that."

"I do love them," Olivia said, her eyes filled with tears. "I think I loved them before I was even pregnant…and I know that doesn't make any sense at all…"

"It does to me," he smiled, and reached across the table, brushing away her tears. "You were always meant to be their mother."

"Thanks…" she sobbed, grabbing her napkin and dabbing at her eyes. "These damn hormones…I can't stop crying…"

Elliot spoke gently, "It's okay…just cry if you need to." Just then Noah dropped his spoon on the floor and Elliot reached down to pick it up.

"I don't want to cry," she sniffled. "I'm hungry…"

Elliot laughed, wiping off the little boy's spoon and handing it back to him. "Okay, then let's just eat and we can talk about all this later if you want. Or maybe we can get out the name book and look at those some more."

Olivia wiped her eyes and took another piece of garlic bread, chewing it ravenously. "I still think Henry is a good name," she said, looking at Noah. "Should we name one of your brothers Henry?" The baby was too engrossed in his meal to pay attention.

"I like the name Henry," Elliot agreed, taking a bite of his spaghetti and watching as Olivia reached for her third piece of bread. "I take it you like my garlic bread?" he teased.

"It's not me," she smirked. "It's the twins that like it…a lot…"

Elliot laughed, "Okay…so I think we need to talk about Oliver…" He looked at Noah, "You like Oliver, don't you Noah?" he laughed, "I like it, Liv and I think it's a perfect name for our son…"

"Oh no…" Olivia groaned.

"I know you don't want him named after you…but I should get to pick one of the names," Elliot said, looking up to see her pasty and pale face.

"It's not the name…" she sputtered. "I'm gonna be sick…" She pushed herself up from the table and ran down the hall faster than he'd seen her move in a long time.

"Great…" Elliot tossed his fork down on his plate and pushed his chair back from the table. He stared at Noah, smearing sauce all over his highchair and sighed. "I guess dinner is over, huh?" He stood up and ran after her.

May 1, 2015 9:00PM

"Noah's asleep," Elliot said, climbing in bed beside Olivia and rubbing his hand on her stomach. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine…" she sighed. "I can't believe I threw up…I was so hungry…"

"Well, the doctor said you'd be dealing with this sooner or later," he reminded her. "The babies are smooshing your stomach and even if you're hungry you just can't eat much."

"I know…it's embarrassing though. I made myself puke by eating too much," she groaned. "And believe me, getting down on the bathroom floor was a lot easier in the first trimester than it is now. And getting up…it's impossible…"

"That's why you have me," he winked at her and leaned forward, kissing her softly on the lips.

"El…" she pushed him away and he looked questioningly at her. "Can you move? I feel hot…and sort of…I don't know…queasy from the garlic on your breath."

"I'm sorry…" he moved back, trying not to be disappointed. "I'll go brush my teeth."

"El…it's not you," she insisted. "I just feel weird. I'm sorry…"

"It's okay," he said gently. "I'll be right back." He walked down the hall to the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror and brushing his teeth with the minty green toothpaste Olivia kept on the counter. He rinsed his mouth and then stared at his face, the lines that seemed to have appeared from nowhere and the graying temples that reminded him he wasn't getting any younger. He tried not to think about it most days, but sometimes it was inevitable. He was about to become a father again, and this was the last thing he expected at this point in his life, but the chance to do this with Olivia was something he wouldn't trade for the world. He thought about Cragen's words Don't be so demanding of her Elliot and he wondered if Olivia felt like he was expecting too much of her. Maybe that was why she apologized for pushing him away even though she didn't feel well. He never wanted her to feel like she was letting him down.

He walked back down the hall and opened the bedroom door. She was laying on her side, a pillow situated under her protruding belly as she rubbed small circles against her skin and took even breaths. He walked over to her, kneeling by the bed and resting his hand on hers while looking her in the eye, "Are you okay?" he asked. "Are you having contractions again?"

"No, I'm fine…" she assured him. "They're moving around a lot…and one of them keeps kicking me in the ribs" she winced as Elliot felt the sudden jab from one of the babies against his hand.

"Oh honey…" he didn't know how to help her as he watched her eyes fill with tears. "What can I do?"

She shook her head, "Nothing…I need him to move," she gasped as the baby jabbed again.

"Do you want to try a warm bath again?" he asked. "That settled them down the other night."

"No," she sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't…"

"I know…" he stood up and ran out of the room, coming back a few minutes later with a baggie of ice. "This will work."

"Ice?" she asked. "El…this isn't like the muscle pain I had earlier in the pregnancy. I don't think that will work."

"I do…" he said, kneeling back down. "It's cold. If I push it against where the baby is kicking, he'll move."

"Really?" she asked.

He nodded, "It's gonna be cold…so prepare yourself," he said, raising her shirt up a little higher and pushing the ice against her skin, feeling the baby jerk away from the cold. He laughed, "See…he doesn't like it."

"He really moved," Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, twisting her body to a more comfortable position. "Thanks…"

"Sure…" he smiled, rubbing his hand over the swell of her stomach. "Liv…I'm gonna be a good dad…and I want to be a good husband too."

"I know that," Olivia ran her hand along his cheek. "You can kiss me now…I feel better…"

"And I brushed my teeth," he smiled, leaning forward and pressing his lips firmly against hers. When she finally pulled away, he looked at her gentle smile and sighed, "Liv…if you still want to move with me to DC…I think we can figure something out."

"You want me to come to DC?" she asked. "What about you being at work all the time and no friends or family to help out?"

Elliot shrugged, "We can hire someone to take care of you and Noah until the twins are born."

"We could do that here," she suggested. "You won't be home much…you were right before…it was a bad idea…"

"I want our family to be together," he insisted. "I was wrong…earlier when I said we don't have a fairytale, happily-ever-after thing…we do…but we have to believe that…we have to make it happen."

"I do believe it," she promised. "And we'll figure out where to live and how to be together."

Elliot smiled, climbing into bed beside her, "I believe it too."

I promise to continue this as soon as I can. Thanks for understanding.