Well, it's been a month and I have stayed away from writing, but I figured I owed you all an update. I'm sorry it's been so long. I'm still dealing with some things that are very difficult for me to get through and focus on writing, so the break was needed. I appreciate all the kind reviews, and even the ones saying the characters are ooc because even though I disagree with that, at least I've left an impression. LOL Also thanks for the PMs asking about me and for all the positive thoughts and prayers. I love being a part of such a caring community of people
Anyway, here is the latest installment. Sorry it's not much. I'm not sure when I'll feel up to writing more, but hopefully it will be soon. I greatly appreciate everyone here for giving your time to read and review my work. It mean a lot to me. Thanks :)
May 2, 2015 9:45AM
"Elliot…" Olivia opened her eyes, using her hand to shield them from the bright light shining through the bedroom window. "El…" she called again as he pushed open the bedroom door, Noah situated on his right hip and a tray in his left hand.
"Well looky here, little one," he smiled at the baby. "Mommy decided to wake up." He walked over to the bed, sitting the tray on the nightstand and sitting Noah next to his mother. Then he leaned forward, kissing Olivia gently on the lips, "Did you finally get some rest, sleeping beauty?" he asked with a chuckle.
Olivia forced herself into a sitting position, "What time is it?" she asked, grabbing a glass of orange juice from the tray and taking a sip.
"Almost ten," Elliot glanced at his watch as her eyes widened.
"What?" she asked. "You should've woken me up."
"Why? So you could lay here in bed wide awake? You need your sleep," he reminded her. "Besides, Noah and I had a fun morning playing and making breakfast." He nudged toward the bowl of oatmeal and slices of toast. "Speaking of which…you need to eat. I fed Noah…now you feed the other two."
Olivia laughed, grabbing the bowl and dipping the toast into it, scooping up the oatmeal and taking a bite. "I don't want a repeat of last night," she said, swallowing the bite. "Don't let me eat too much."
He watched her devour one piece of oatmeal drenched toast and start on the second in a matter of minutes. "Don't pull me into the middle of your food battles with the twins," he laughed. "You always say it's them…they make you crave pizza and they want chocolate milk…you take the appetite thing up with them."
Olivia's eyes widened, "Do we have chocolate milk?" she asked hopefully, taking another bite of her food.
Elliot rolled his eyes, "Eat first…then we'll see if your stomach can handle anything else."
Olivia took a few more quick bites before shifting on the bed, sitting the bowl of oatmeal on the nightstand and flinging her legs over the side of the bed, struggling to pull herself up.
"What do you think you're doing?" Elliot sighed, convinced she was going to get her own chocolate milk and not wanting to help her up. She wasn't supposed to be on her feet much. "I'll get the chocolate milk, okay…just stay put."
"I'm not getting milk," she groaned as she pulled herself to her feet and seemed to gasp for breath. "I need to go to the bathroom…"
Elliot grabbed her arm, helping her steady herself, "Why didn't you say something?" he asked. "You know I want to help you."
"I can pee by myself Elliot," she pushed his hand away and walked toward the door.
"I meant I want to help you when you need to get out of bed, or walk...you're not supposed to be moving much and you know it," he said seriously.
"I know…" she exhaled slowly, "But the doctor said I can get up to go to the bathroom, so let me…okay. I'm fine. I swear…"
Elliot nodded reluctantly and watched her walk out of the room. He sat on the bed next to Noah and picked up the boy, sitting him in his lap. "I hope your brothers are not as stubborn as your mommy," he teased, kissing the baby while he giggled. It seemed like Olivia had been gone forever, and Elliot was just about to go check on her when she made her way back into the room. She looked so tired and pale, just from the walk to the bathroom and it worried him. "Are you okay?" he asked, jumping to his feet and guiding her back to the bed.
"I'm fine, El…" she promised. "I'm huge…and tired…and the babies are squishing every internal organ I have, but I'm fine." She let him take her hands as she slowly lowered herself back onto the bed. "Three more months of this…" she sighed. "I can't do it…"
"Yes you can," Elliot assured her, as he lifted her legs onto the bed, sitting and putting her feet in his lap and rubbing them gently. "Your ankles are already swollen…no more getting out of bed, Liv. You need to stay off your feet."
"Guess I'll just pee the bed from now on then," she snickered, pulling her feet away from him and turning her attention to her son who was playing with a toy truck, rolling it back and forth across the bed.
"You know that's not what I meant," Elliot said, trying not to get into an argument with her. She was obviously uncomfortable and moody and he didn't want to make her feel worse. "Aren't you going to finish eating?" he asked, motioning toward her oatmeal and juice on the nightstand.
"I'm not hungry," she insisted, picking up Noah's toy and rolling it to him while the baby giggled.
"Olivia…" Elliot struggled to stay calm. "If you're mad at me…be mad at me…but don't take it out on the babies. They need you to eat."
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked, handing Noah his car and turning her attention to Elliot. "I told you I didn't want to eat very much…I can't get sick again. I'm not taking my anger out on the twins. I can't believe you'd say that."
"I'm sorry…you're just acting like you're angry with me and I don't even know why…and you were enjoying your breakfast, but then you came back from the bathroom all grumpy and saying you don't want to eat it."
"Because I can't," she argued. "I don't feel good…" she sighed. "I threw up in the bathroom…okay…are you happy now…"
"What?" he asked confused. "Honey…if you're sick why didn't you say something? I want to help you…"
"That's why," she mumbled. "I can't depend on you forever…I have to figure out how to do this on my own…"
"What are you saying?" he asked. "You can always depend on me and you know that."
She shook her head, "You're leaving Elliot…in two days. I'm going to be here on bedrest with a toddler and I need to figure out how I'm going to do this."
"Liv…I'd stay if I could…you know that," he gently rubbed his hand over her stomach. "I want to…"
"I know you want to," she said, resting her hand on top of his. "But that doesn't change the situation. I have to figure out what to do."
"We…" he insisted. "We have to figure out what to do. You're not alone in this."
"I'm scared," she admitted. "I want to do the right thing…stay in bed and take care of the twins…but I don't know how I'm supposed to do that. Noah needs me too and I'm already so uncomfortable just laying around."
"I'm making some phone calls today," Elliot assured her. "I'm going to hire someone to stay here and take care of you and Noah until I can come back fulltime. When I go back to DC, I'm going to tell them I'll finish the case I'm on, and then I'm done."
"What?" Olivia asked, "El, you can't quit your job. What are you thinking?"
"That I need to be with my family," he smiled. "Last night, when we talked about you coming to DC, I realized that is never going to work, Liv. I have to come back here. We need to find a bigger place and settle in, have these babies…" he patted her stomach softly, "and just be a family. No more back and forth, or taking breaks from one another, or questioning if we made the right decision getting married when we did. We need to move forward. We owe it to the kids…and to ourselves."
"We need your income," she reminded him. "I'm not working…I have savings, but that'll run out…"
"Don't worry about it," he brushed the hair out of her face, and leaned forward, kissing her. "I'll figure something out. I don't want you worrying about anything right now…just rest and take care of our boys."
"I can try," she gave a weak smile, exhaling sharply… "Ouch…they really like to jab me in the ribs lately…"
"Why don't you lay down and relax, and Noah and I will go clean up from breakfast," Elliot offered. "If you move to your side they'll settle down again. They like that position better."
Olivia nodded, letting him guide her to her side. He rubbed her stomach softly, "You two let Mommy get some rest," he ordered and she laughed.
"You know they don't listen to you," she smiled.
"Yeah, I know…" he grinned. Then he picked up Noah and ran his fingers through the baby's dark curls. "You're gonna listen to me though, right?" he teased and Noah leaned forward kissing him on the nose. "Oh, I almost forgot…Kathy called and asked if I'd keep Eli tonight. Do you mind having him over? I know you're not feeling great…"
"Of course he can come over," Olivia answered. "You don't' have to ask me. He's your son. This is his home too."
"I don't want your rest being disturbed," Elliot argued.
Olivia laughed, running her hand over the swell of her stomach, "These two disturb my rest more than anyone else ever could. I'll be fine…besides, I want to see Eli. He should come."
Elliot nodded, "All right. Now you get some sleep."
"I'll try," Olivia nodded, closing her eyes.
May 2, 2015 1:15PM
Olivia woke up with a start. She'd been dreaming about something…something she couldn't quite remember, and her pulse was racing. She felt uneasy and cringed a little when she felt one of the twins kicking hard against her ribs. "Oh baby…" she sighed, rubbing her hand along her side, "Please move…Mommy can't take this pain anymore…" She forced herself into a sitting position and the pressure eased from her ribs and relocated to her bladder. The thought of pulling herself out of bed and walking to the bathroom was overwhelming…she was so exhausted. "El…" she called, hoping he'd hear her without having to yell. It would worry him if she yelled for him and she didn't really need him…she wanted him…and those were two completely different things. "Elliot…" she called again, just as he pushed open the door.
"You're awake," he smiled. "You feeling okay?"
She nodded, "Yeah…can you help me up…I'm so tired…"
"Sure," Elliot rushed to her side, concern on his face. It wasn't like her to ask for help and he wasn't sure if she was having some hormone related personality shift or if she was in serious need. He put his arm around her, helping her to her feet, and noticing the tears in her eyes, "Honey…what's wrong? Are the contractions back? I can call the doctor…"
She shook her head, "No, I'm fine. I just feel shaky and nervous. I had a bad dream."
"What kind of dream?" he asked, immediately remembering when she'd had a flashback months earlier that had left her angry and frightened.
She shook her head, "I don't know. I don't really remember it…I just feel so anxious now. I'm okay though…" she exhaled slowly, "I just feel so heavy, like I didn't have the energy to get up and I need to go to the bathroom."
"Here," he took her arm, "I'll walk with you. You look a little unsteady on your feet."
She was going to argue, but then decided against it. "Thanks," she whispered. A few minutes later she emerged from the bathroom, not surprised to see him still waiting there outside the door. She gave a weak smile, "I'm all right, El. I can walk by myself now."
"I know," he smiled, "But I wanted to wait and make sure. You wanna come sit in the livingroom? I can bring some pillows and blankets in for you and you can eat lunch while the boys and I clean up. They're eating now, so I'm sure I'll have a mess to deal with when I get back to them."
"Eli's here already?" she asked, surprised. "I thought Kathy was bringing him tonight."
"He really wanted to come over," Elliot told her. "Do you mind?"
"No…of course not," Olivia insisted. "I just wish I felt better…we could do something fun with him."
"Come on," Elliot took her arm, guiding her toward the livingroom. "He'll be glad just to hang out with us here at home." He helped her lower herself on the sofa, and brought in pillows and a blanket, helping her arrange them behind her back and around her belly for support and then covered her with the blanket. "There…are you comfortable?" he asked.
She nodded, "As comfortable as I can get at this point."
He leaned forward and kissed her softly. "I'll go get your lunch."
A few minutes later Eli walked in with a plate in his hands and held it out to her, "Daddy said to bring you this. Noah made a mess in the kitchen and he had to clean him up."
Olivia looked at the sandwich, cut into triangular halves and the side of sliced fruit and smiled, "Thanks sweetie." She took the plate from him and let it rest on the swell of her stomach. The little boy stood and stared at her and Olivia wondered what he was thinking. She hadn't seen him in a long time and she wondered if he was adjusting to the idea of her being his step mother better than Elliot's other kids. "How have you been feeling, Eli?" she asked. "Are you still doing okay?"
He nodded, "Mom took me to the doctor last week and he said I'm doing fine. The cancer isn't back."
A smile spread across her face, "Oh honey…I'm so glad. I really am…"
"Are the babies okay?" he asked, staring at her stomach.
Olivia nodded, "They're great. You're gonna have two little brothers…isn't that exciting?" She watched as Eli's eyes widened and looked down to see the plate shifting on her belly as the babies kicked. She laughed, "They're moving around…wanna feel?"
Eli nodded and Olivia moved the plate and put his hand firmly against her stomach. The little boy giggled at the swift kicks, "Cool…" he said with a grin. "They're kicking hard. Does it hurt?"
"A little," Olivia admitted. "But I like it…let's me know they're okay." She picked up her sandwich and took a bite. Elliot walked in with a glass of chocolate milk in his hand and Noah toddling along beside him. He handed the glass to Olivia who took a long drink, "Thanks…" she said, sitting the glass on the table and taking another bite of her sandwich.
"Just don't overdo it," Elliot reminded her. "If you feel sick, tell me…"
"I feel okay," she promised.
"Daddy…the babies kicked me," Eli laughed. "And they kicked the plate off Olivia's tummy."
"They did what?" Elliot asked.
"Not off…they just made it move a little," she laughed.
"I'm bored," Eli said, sitting on the floor with Noah and looking at one of the baby's books. "Can we go to the park?" he asked.
"Not this time, bud," Elliot sat down next to him. "Olivia's not really supposed to be going anywhere and I don't want to leave her home alone…in case the babies need something."
"Oh…" Eli sighed. "Can we watch a movie?"
Elliot glanced at Olivia who nodded, "I think that sounds like a great idea," he said. "Why don't you pick one and we can curl up here on the couch with Liv."
"Okay…" the little boy ran off to look through the movies and Elliot sat on the sofa, putting Olivia's feet in his lap while she finished her lunch. "You sure you're okay?"
She nodded, "Yeah…and I'm looking forward to a nice afternoon with my boys." He put his hand on her stomach and she laughed, "All five of you…"
May 2, 2015 9:30PM
"They're both asleep…finally," Elliot said, pulling off his jeans and shirt and standing at the end of the bed, clad only in his boxers. "Noah's a lot easier to put down without Eli here. He wanted to play."
"I'm glad they love each other," Olivia said sincerely. "They're brothers…I want them to be close."
Elliot climbed into bed next to her, letting out a yawn that took him by surprised, "It's not even ten…how can I be yawning already?" he snickered.
"Chasing after two little boys all day," Olivia suggested. "It's exhausting…" she ran her hand over the swell of her stomach, "Pretty soon we'll be adding two more to the mix. You think you're up to the challenge?"
Elliot laughed, "Well, when they decide to make their appearance, I'm gonna have you to help," he reminded her. "You better take advantage of this bedrest while you can."
"Yeah, yeah…" she teased. "I'm already sick of this bedrest…believe me…I can't wait to be chasing after kids and changing diapers and nursing at all hours of the night. At least I'll be doing something."
"You're doing something now," he said, pressing his hand firmly against her stomach. "You are growing two beautiful, healthy babies…and you're pretty good at it too." He leaned forward, kissing her…letting his tongue slip into her mouth. "I love you…" he sputtered, as he pulled away from her mouth, moving to her neck and then gently nibbling on her earlobe.
"El…" she sighed, "Stop…" but he kept it up and she finally pushed him away, "Elliot…please…stop…"
He looked at her, confused by her resistance, "What?" he asked. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head, "Nothing…but…" her eyes were moist and her breathing was heavy.
"Liv…" he sat back, staring at her "I'm sorry…"
She shook her head, "I'm fine, El…I just…I want to make love to you…but the doctor said no…"
"Honey, I wasn't going to try to have sex," he promised. "I just wanted to be close to you. We can show how much we love each other without traditional sex…"
She shook her head, "I don't think I can stop," she admitted. "If we get started…I don't think I can stop…I want you…" she cried. "I'm so miserable…and fat…and swollen…and you act like you don't even see it…"
"Hey…" Elliot brushed the hair back from her face and wiped away the tears that were sliding down her cheeks. "I see my beautiful wife…putting herself through so much to get our kids here safely…" he smiled, leaning forward and kissing her gently. "And I want to make her happy."
"I am happy…" she sniffled.
"Really? Because you're still crying…" Elliot leaned back on his pillow to give her some space. "Liv…I think I'm gonna need a cold shower."
She couldn't help but laugh through her tears, "Me too…" she sputtered and he chuckled. "Go on..take your shower," she insisted. "And I promise I'll be done crying when you get back." She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "Damn hormones. I'm turning into a sniveling fool."
"Well, you're my sniveling fool," he teased, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before heading toward the bathroom.
After the shower, he stopped in the living room to check on the boys, both still sleeping soundly…Noah in his crib and Eli on the sofa. Then he walked back to the bedroom, expecting Olivia to be asleep as well and surprised when he saw her sitting up in bed reading a magazine. "Honey…why are you up?"
"Maybe because I took three naps today," Olivia said, taking off her glasses and sitting them on the nightstand with the magazine. "How was the shower?"
"Would've been better if you'd been asleep when I came back in here," he admitted, glancing at the way her breasts seemed to overflow from the plunging lace neckline of her nightgown. "Seeing you…it's losing its effect…"
"I'm sorry…" she gave a fake pout and waited for him to climb back in bed beside her. "I'll wear sweats to bed from now on."
Elliot laughed, "You need to get some sleep…and so do I," he admitted. "I promised the boys a big pancake breakfast in the morning."
Olivia nodded, "They'll like that." She looked at him, her voice quivering, "Elliot…is Eli okay? He said Kathy took him to the doctor…"
"He's fine," Elliot insisted. "It was just routine…the doctor said the cancer is still in remission. There were a few markers that worried him, but for now he looks good."
"There were markers that worried him?" Olivia asked. "What does that mean?"
"Liv…it's nothing we can do anything about," Elliot ran his hand along the back of his neck nervously. "It could mean the cancer will come back soon…but it could mean nothing…"
"You didn't tell me," Olivia sighed. "You knew…and you didn't tell me."
"I didn't want you to worry," Elliot admitted. "You are going through so much right now…"
"El…I need to know. Eli is my step-son…I love him," she insisted.
"I know you do…I'm sorry," Elliot said gently. "I didn't want it to stress you out…with the preterm labor scare and the bedrest…"
"El…what if they don't match?" she asked nervously. "What if these babies can't save him?"
"I don't want to go there now, Liv," he said, turning out the lamp on his night table and rolling away from her.
"Elliot…we have to talk about this," she argued. "You keep saying you don't want to…but we need a plan in case…in case they don't…"
"What kind of plan?" he sputtered angrily. "It's not like we can just make another baby and hope it matches. This is our only shot. I don't want to think about it not working…I can't think about it."
Olivia groaned slightly as she reached over to turn off her own light and then snuggled down under the covers next to him. "El…I'm sorry…" she whispered. "I wish we had a guarantee…"
"Me too," he admitted, closing his eyes and refusing to turn back toward her, even when he heard her crying softly against her pillow. Finally he felt her roll over, facing the other side of the room and her sniffles seemed to subside. He felt like a jerk. He wanted so much for the twins to match Eli that he couldn't fathom talking about what would happen if they didn't. He rolled over, wrapping his arms around her and leaning close to her ear, "I'm sorry…" he whispered, and when she didn't respond he wasn't sure if it was because she'd fallen asleep or if she was giving him the silent treatment he deserved. "I love you…and everything's gonna be okay. It has to be…" and he silently prayed he was right.
More to come...