Author's Note :
Thank you for the reviews...
Here's the next chapter.... enjoy....
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The door opened and shut again. But Gibbs remained inside the room.
He couldn't leave her like this. He needed her to realise that he was here for her. But he couldn't risk her getting more upset. God every time she cried out in pain, every time she pressed a hand to her stomach, it made him want to gag with misery. He stood hidden from her view and watched her.
She was crying silently, tears rolling down her face, her body shaking, her hands laced over her stomach.
"Why weren't you there for me when I needed you, Jethro? Why?!" She demanded softly.
He closed his eyes as her words tore his heart to pieces. He stepped back into her view and said, "I went to tell Shannon and Kelly that I am moving on."
"Jethro?" Jenny started.
"I asked them to forgive me, Jen and to release me from the darkness of their deaths. I want to reminisce about the good times..."
"I told them I've found someone who'll accept me with all my flaws... someone I've known for a long time... someone who knows me almost as well as they knew me... No... I think you know me better than they ever did, ever could."
"I do know you..." Jenny whispered.
"I will never forget them or how they died, but I need to find a way to forgive myself for what happened... for what I could do nothing to change."
"I told them I miss them ... but I want to live again. I want to love and be loved again. I want to be a father again."
"Oh Jethro!" Jenny sobbed softly, sitting up she spread her arms.
"Jenny, I'm sorry for hurting you today." He said as he stepped forward.
"I know." She said as she wrapped her arms around him.
She looked into his eyes. "I know." She repeated before kissing him gently.
He hesitated, held back, terrified that this was just a dream, shocked that he had revealed so much so soon, and thrilled that she didn't push him away. The taste of her salty tears on his tongue, the scent of her warm skin and the pressure of her tapered fingers on his skull, kneading and drawing him closer, left him in no doubt of how real this moment was, how special this moment was. He wrapped his arms around her and returned her kiss, infusing it with all his love and commitment.
When they pulled apart, Jenny smiled. Gibbs returned her smile and kissed her forehead.
"It's not going to be easy." She said.
"It never is." He replied.
"Thank you for telling me ...."
"You deserved to know. I should have told you where I was going. I didn't know myself ... until I actually arrived at their graves and sat down. It felt good to talk to them."
"I'm glad it's helped bring things into perspective for you. I, me and these..." deep breathe "babies, we will never replace them. But you are right. They were your past and you need to let go of that hurt."
"Yes." He kissed her forehead again. "You and our babies.... you are my future. And I'm not going to mess things up."
"I've never been through anything like this before, Jethro. I don't have the rule book. I suspect we'll both make mistakes. I just want your commitment that you won't run if it becomes too much. I need you." Jenny whispered. She remembered Rothman's words, Jethro needs to be needed. You have to show him that you need him. That was the easy part, because she really did need him now, more then ever before.
"Oh God, Jenny, haven't you figured it out yet?" Gibbs cupped her face. "I love you! I love our babies! And I'm never leaving you."
Jenny sobbed as he took her back into his arms and kissed her again.
"I love you." He repeated.
It felt right to say it. It needed to be said. And he wanted to keep saying it.
The door to the room opened and Dr Malone entered followed by a nurse.
"I see Agent Gibbs was able to calm you down." She said with a smiled.
Jenny blushed as Gibbs pulled away. The nurse went to work on drawing blood samples.
"You will be in private room number twelve in Ward seven b." Dr Malone said. "As soon as Sasha is done drawing blood, she will arrange for you to be settled in your room. We are going to place a baby monitor around your waist to monitor their heart beats." Dr Malone continued as she lifted the sheets and examined Jenny again.
"I'm still bleeding?" Jenny asked. Gibbs squeezed her hand in support.
"Yes. But it's slowing down. Sasha please arrange for sanitary pads to be issued to Director Sheppard."
"That's okay, Dr Malone. I'll get Milenka to bring over a box of tampons when she brings the rest of my things." Jenny said.
"No tampons, I'm afraid. We don't want to introduce anything inside your vagina that could potentially lead to infection and we also don't want to collect the blood and stagnate the flow." Dr Malone said.
"Okay." Jenny said, running her right hand repeatedly and subconsciously over her lower abdomen.
"All done," Sasha said. "I'll get these to the lab right away and then take you to your room."
"I also need warn you to abstain from making love until the bleeding has completely stopped. In fact you may have to wait until you're in your fourth or fifth month before any penetrative sexual activity can be re-introduce." Dr Malone said.
"No problem." Gibbs said when Jenny looked at him.
"By the way, your colleagues are gathered in the waiting room at the end of the hall. Do you mind if I fill them in?" Dr Malone said.
"Please tell them I'm fine and I appreciate their being here." Jenny said a yawn escaping before she could stop it.
"I will. We'll have the blood test results within an hour or two. I suggest both of you rest until then. And Agent Gibbs it would be a good idea for you to take your headache pills now." Dr Malone said as she left the room.
"Jethro?" Jenny looked at him closely. She could see it, the tightness around his lips, the pulsing vein on the side of his temple.
"I'm fine." He said.
"No you're not. Take your meds, please. I can't worry about you and our babies right now." She said, half to force him to take his meds and half because she really couldn't deal with more drama just then.
"Okay, Jen." Jethro said. He withdrew an orange bottle from his pocket and shook a pill out. He swallowed it without a sip of water.
"I could get used to this agreeable Jethro." Jenny smiled.
"Don't be fooled, Jenny." Gibbs smiled back. "As soon as you're back on your feet, I'm likely to turn back in to the bastard you know me to be."
"Well I like this Jethro just as much as I like the bastard in you." Jenny yawned again.
"Sleep now. I'll be right here." Gibbs said, pulling up a chair, sitting and taking her hand into his.
"You better be here when I wake up."
"I will be." He replied. "Sleep Jen."
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Author's Note:
That's it for this chapter....
The next sees the blood test results...
Gibbs speaks to Rothman...
Jenny gets tired of staying in bed...
So stay tuned and as always, review soon.... Thanks....
NB... Just a question....
Should I continue with this story? As you can see Gibbs is becoming a different person... I want to show the struggle of Gibbs as we know him and Gibbs as he needs to be when he is with Jenny... I have a few ideas on how to do this... but don't know it I should do it... Any feedback will be welcome... Thanks.