Author's note: Thanks for the reviews, let me know what you think of this chapter xx
18th November 2013
When Ireland emerged back into the living room, it was empty. She'd spent almost half an hour in the shower, which she hadn't intended to do but was glad for it as it had relaxed her muscles and she felt so much better now that she was clean. She walked into the kitchen where she found Xav sat at the table, eating a sandwich. There was another sandwich on a plate across from him; bacon, judging by the smell.
"Eat." Xav gestured to the bacon sandwich, his voice demanding. Ireland didn't like being told what do by anybody, not even her father although she put up with it, but she was starving – she hadn't eaten for days – so she took the seat across from Xav and started eating. "After you finish, we talk."
"Where's your brother?" She asked before taking a bite.
"Work." He was being cold towards her. Ireland was guessing that Uriel had warned his younger brother whilst she was in the shower, had probably even told him not to get along with her or make much of an effort. One wrong move, one wrong sentence, and Xav would throw her out on the streets whether she was his soulfinder or not. She'd have to be very careful with what she said. As she finished her sandwich, still pretty hungry afterwards but not willing to tell him that, she decided that she would tell Xav as much of the truth about her life as she could – other than the whole spy thing, as well as things that felt too personal to admit to him.
"Ok," she said, pushing her plate away from her. "I'm done. What d'ya wanna know?"
"First of all," he started, "I'd like to know what happened between you and your dad that made you escape and come to find me. Then I'd like to know why you thought I'd help you and why you think I should trust you."
Ireland slowly nodded, forcing herself not to sigh over how obvious his questions were. How predictable he was. God, he was boring her already. She made her voice vulnerable and tired again, like she was defeated. "I can understand why you want to know all that; it's fair," she told him. "I came here because you agreed to meet in the bar that time. You turned up, despite knowing who I am, and you were willing to help me simply because you're a good guy. I didn't know for sure that you'd do the same thing this time round, but I was hoping. If you'd turned me down, I'd have had no choice but to go back to my dad because I have no money and nowhere else to go. I guess I'm lucky that my soulfinder is such a nice guy."
Xav raised his eyebrows as if he were shocked that she'd said those words without any tone of sarcasm to them. She really wasn't being sarcastic either, she really was lucky that he was so nice and such a sucker to fall for her lies. He nodded his head, accepting her explanation for that query. "But why did you come to me? You said he hit you and that he locked you in a room to starve for days..."
"Yeah," she quietly said, meeting his eyes and being surprised by the sad, pitying look in them. It was almost as if he truly cared about her and her well-being and was pained by what had happened to her. Don't even think that, a voice in her mind said. You know he doesn't care about you and never will do. He's a Benedict. They care about nobody but themselves.
She chose to tell him as much of the truth as she could, although she changed a few small details and added a few lies. "My dad's always controlled my life. When I was little, he'd make sure I knew about the business he and my mum were in, he'd teach me the ways of things. By the age of six I knew how to use a gun and was having regular target practice, and I was enrolled in loads of self defence and fighting classes. I had a personal trainer and a tutor instead of going to school like a normal little girl. I liked to dance, I loved it, so my mum made sure I had dance lessons. I was so good at it, like a proper trained dancer, but when I was seventeen my dad stopped paying for my lessons." She paused for a moment, taken aback that she had just told him all of that – it was all the truth, something she'd never admitted to anybody. Weirded out, she carried on talking.
"He controls everything, Xav. If I ever find something that I enjoy doing, he takes it away from me. He wants all of my attention focused on what he calls the 'family business'," she made air quotes with her hands. "He told me stories constantly of what the Net were like in his eyes, told me how much I should hate them.
"But I never understood, you know? Even now, I don't get why he says the Net are the bad guys. They're just protecting us, keeping our identity hidden from ordinary humans. My dad thinks normal people should know about us, that we should be superior to them. He's like bloody Magneto in X-Men." Xav smiled at her reference, amused. "I don't agree."
"I bet he doesn't like that."
"No, he doesn't. He controls and manipulates me, Xav. I'll admit that I've killed people in the past, a lot of people, but I never wanted to. He made me do it. And I know that's no excuse for taking a life, but I was so scared of my dad that I did what he told me to do.
"My last target was a man called Carl Reynolds; he'd betrayed my dad so my dad told me to kill him. I went there but... I don't know, I made a mistake. I didn't kill him."
"I know," Xav interrupted her. "My brother interviewed him at the hospital. Reynolds was pissed."
"I don't blame him," she ran her fingers through her damp hair, a well known nervous gesture she'd learned to trick people with over the years. "Dad was furious when he found out Reynolds was still alive. He hit me. I mean, he's hit me before, but this time was different. He was so angry.
"He has a room called the confinement room, where he locks people up for days – the person is tied up, blindfolded, not given any food or water. He took me in there to 'teach me a lesson' and left me there for three days. I just knew I had to escape when he let me out. I have a friend called Roberta; she distracted him for a bit so I could get out of there. You were the first person I thought of to help me.
"I couldn't stay there anymore, Xav. I couldn't do his dirty work, I couldn't kill for him again. He's probably looking for me but he won't think to come here, he doesn't know about us. I know you won't want me here forever, I just need a place to stay until I figure out what to do next."
"I guess... You can stay here as long as you like," Xav said slowly, before narrowing his eyes at her. "Why would you want to give me a chance? My family hunted yours down, which led to your mother and sister being killed and your brother being put in prison. I thought you wanted revenge for that."
"I don't want to talk about them," she snapped, losing control for a moment. She closed her eyes as she tried to calm her racing heart, but was suddenly struck with a terrible, agonizing pain in her head.
Xav watched Ireland close her eyes after she snapped at him and he felt guilty a little. Of course her family would be a touchy subject, she probably felt like she was letting them down by not getting the revenge she had always promised them.
He was about to apologize when she all of a sudden grabbed hold of her head and cried out in pain. Channelling his power, Xav noticed a strange greyness threaded into her energy, pulsing. He had no fucking clue what it was. It was something even he had never seen before.
He jumped to his feet and rushed around, leaning down and resting his hand on her back. "Ireland? Ireland, what's wrong? Talk to me, tell me what's wrong." He felt panicked, the sight of her in obvious pain not a pleasant one to him. He attempted to heal her, to take her pain away, but he could tell straight away that his power had no effect on her this time round. What the hell was going on in that head of hers?!
After a few long seconds, she abruptly stopped making any noise and sat up in her chair calmly, her breathing even and back to normal. It was like nothing at all had happened to her. She turned her head and looked up at him. "Hi."
"Hey," he said cautiously, something about the look in her eyes feeling odd to him. "You okay?"
"I... Yes. Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." She stood up quickly, the chair scraping loudly against the floor as she did so. "Do you have a coat and maybe some boots or something I can borrow? They don't have to be stylish, I won't be long. I don't care what I look like. My friend Roberta, the one who helped me get out, is in a café not far from here. She just used telepathy with me – she wants to meet up, make sure I'm okay. I'll come back, I swear. And I won't tell her where we are, I know not to risk it." Xav doubted that it was telepathy that had made her cry out in so much pain.
"Um, sure." Xav didn't want her to go out truthfully, he was worried her dad would get her or that she wouldn't come back. But he knew that he couldn't keep her here hostage so he had no choice but to head to where he'd left his coat and Timberland boots when he got here.
Ireland quickly pulled the coat and boots on and was out of the door before Xav could ask her anything else.
Ireland woke up in the bed in Uriel's guest bedroom. The curtains were open and the world was dark outside. Her head felt fuzzy. She was dressed in a long, black men's shirt that smelled like sandalwood. Like Xav. She stood up, the silence of the apartment suffocating her.
She walked over to the window and looked outside, all the dark figures walking around being people working for her dad. Well, in her mind they were anyway. Truth was, probably only one or two of them were. Oliver had promised there would be at least two people watching from the shadows, guarding her and ready to attack if the Benedict's struck out at her. All she had to do was scream out telepathically and her guards would come running. She briefly wondered who was out there tonight for her protection but didn't see anybody that she recognized. Which was good. It was better if they were well hidden.
Wait... It was night already? How did that happen? The last thing she remembered was sitting at the kitchen table with Xav and having a really bad headache.
Confused, she stepped away from the window in a daze and walked into the living room. From the faint light seeping in through the windows, she could make out a figure laid on the sofa. Walking to stand straight next to it, she looked down at Xav's sleeping figure.
He didn't look comfortable. The sofa was only a two-seater and Xav, being over six foot, was awkwardly curled up on it under a thin blanket. She looked at his face, a soft smile appearing on her face. He looked so relaxed in his sleep, so much younger. It made her realise just how stressed out he was with her around, made her think that perhaps she wasn't seeing the entire real Xavier Benedict.
She took in a deep breath and heard a crinkling noise come from her bra. Frowning, her smile now gone, she pulled a folded piece of paper out of her bra and opened it, reading:
My dear daughter.
I have been informed you have infiltrated the Benedict's and they are allowing you to live with two of them. Good. I'm proud of you. Get even closer to them; get them to trust you. Especially that soulfinder of yours.
Do not forget your mission to kill Saul Benedict.
I will be in touch soon.
Short and sweet with no affections; just like usual. Ireland was so confused as to how she had this note... But then, just like that, the memories came to her.
She'd left the apartment in Xav's coat and boots that were far too big on her. Roberta was waiting down the street, around the corner. The girls had laughed over the stupidity of the Benedicts'. They'd laughed about how stupidly naïve Xavier was. Roberta had given her a note from Oliver, which Ireland had hidden in her bra. She'd gone back to the apartment. Xav asked no questions. They sat down and watched TV. Eventually Uriel came home and joined them. At eight, Ireland had said goodnight and come into the bedroom. She'd fallen asleep.
Of course. She remembered everything now, of course she did. She'd simply forgotten for a moment there. Probably because she was still half asleep. It was no big deal.
Except... It was a big deal. The memories of the day were there in her mind, but she didn't remember physically doing any of it. This was happening more and more often these days and it terrified her. Her own mind was playing tricks on her, creeping her out.
She rushed back into the bedroom, then into the en-suite bathroom. Her hands shook uncontrollably as she ripped the note up into as small pieces as was possible before she threw them into the toilet and flushed them away.
She sunk down to the floor, leaning her back against the shower wall and stared up at the ceiling. I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry, she chanted in her head over and over again until she eventually stopped shaking and the tears stopped threatening to fall.
Part of her yearned to go out and tell Xav that yet again she was forgetting about things that she had done. She'd lost a whole day without even realising it. How was that even possible?
No, she wouldn't tell Xav. She'd keep it to herself for just a little while longer, then she'd tell her dad. He was the only person she could trust with her secrets. The only one. She'd learned over the years not to put her complete trust in anybody else.
She rose to her feet and headed back to the bed, wanting nothing more than to fall back into the land of sleep and force her memory problem to the back of her head.
A hint about the next chapter: Ireland sees a different side to Xav.