I wonder how often a person who feels down on their luck starts to question whether there's such a thing as true love or if there's someone out there in the world for them. I mean there are about 7 billion people on Earth, so there's bound to be at least one person out there that's destined for you, right?

Well, funny thing is I was one of the people wondering if there was such a thing as love, and I was also one of the few that was crazy enough to try and kill themselves over the fact I was still single without a single person who at least liked me. All of my friends and family had someone they could be with all the time or when they just got lonely, but I was stuck there…just watching them smile while I was all alone.

There was ONE person I liked, but because I was so focused on trying to be romantic, getting them flowers and a plushie from their favorite anime, I ended up being too late and wound up being told by them that one of my best friends had already asked them out and they said yes.

It tore me up inside so much that I couldn't think straight. I mean we were all in the same club at school, the anime club of course, and it was almost impossible for me to avoid them. So I kept faking smiles for them acting so happy when I knew it was just hurting me on the inside. Almost every day I had to see the two of them with one another smiling, so happily in love it could've given everyone cavities from how sweet they were together.

I had this feeling, this dark heavy pit in my stomach whenever I saw them together. Separate I could deal with them, but whenever they got together and I was around I had this feeling like I was just getting in their way. Some days I'd visit the place where one of my best friends from school stayed, though I knew that the person who was with my crush stayed there, so on a few occasions we'd end up going to visit them.

I always felt hot around that person, and not in a romantic way. It was like my body was on fire and I felt the urge to tackle them out of complete and utter rage, though I always managed to keep myself calm and just smile. There was a time, however, when I brought up how I couldn't believe how that person managed to get with my crush. And they'd happily retell the story with a smile, unaware that the more they spoke about it the more fuel it added to the first in my belly.

They'd always retell that story, saying that, "I just asked her did she want to go out one day and she said 'Wait, are you asking me out?", and it always let me in awe at how easy they got the person to say yes. Hear I was, buying things to show my affection and love when this person got my crush with a simple question.

And it didn't even sound like they were asking her out! That could've been them asking her did she want to hang out as friends, but she ended up going into a relationship with that person anyways and it pissed me off so much I've been having problems controlling my anger.

I eventually ended up telling my crush about how I felt about them, even telling them about how I tried to drop hints with my drawings and how I got them a gift to help get my feelings towards them. I didn't expect her to be so understanding about it, so when she felt bad about how things turned out and how I felt it shocked me.

We would talk to each other just about every day, though after school when we rode the train together it almost hurt just to see her smile when I'd remember that none of them were for me, but for that other person who got to her first. Having to hear her laugh and knowing that I could only hear so much of those laughs until her stop would come and I'd be left alone to ride the train with nothing but the thoughts of her being with someone else mocking me.

A time came where they had picked up a bit on my discomfort and anger for how affectionate they were being around me and they said they were going to cut their "cutesiness" down around the rest of our friends. I ended up lying and saying I was deep in thought and told them not to hold back on my accord, but that ended up hurting like a burning acidic sword cutting into my body.

Day after day I'd end up wondering how well that person was treating my crush, seeing as they were now the source of happiness in her life. And I'd often lie to myself claiming that I didn't feel those feelings of anger and envy towards that person, only to have the feelings bite back just when I'd be at my happiest. I started visiting my other best friend, and even when we'd have disagreements that seemed heated, I'd always feel better around him.

Our disagreements always took my mind off things and made me feel at peace, and I didn't mind that we'd rarely talk other than times when my friend would get random with their outbursts when they'd play their computer games or watch their movies and shows. It always made me laugh, something I hadn't been doing enough of since hearing that my crush was dating another one of my best friends.

But somehow, my best friend ended up saving me from my own dark thoughts, and I could truly feel my feelings towards my crush fading away enough for me to be able to confess my feelings towards another one of my best friends. I even found the will to give my best friend a rose, yet despite this she rejected me.

I felt myself falling back into that darkness, and each day I could feel gravity pulling me down more and more until I would cut myself off from my friends in the club and try to be alone. But as the days went on, and I visited my best friend more, I felt everything melted away until I was confident that I could live with knowing that the two people I was in love with had rejected my feelings/was dating another one of my best friends.

But this had already done its damage and my grades were taking the brunt of this to the point I had been put on academic probation.

But enough about my past, because now I just recently discovered that the Goddess of Love Aphrodite has basically gotten annoyed with humanity and has made it so we're going to be living with the person we're destined to be with. I didn't expect to have anyone I was destined to be with, but to my surprise I ended up waking next to a girl.

Not just any random girl. A cute girl who apparently was born in France named Charlotte. I mean, between her beautiful brownish-gold hair and her soft brown eyes coupled with her cute shy personality, I can swear she could've been pulled right out of my dreams. So far I only know her name and that she loves drawing just like I do.

She told me that she didn't think she'd be paired up with anyone, kinda like how I did, so we both were kinda surprised. I mean, I was basically the outcast of any group of friends I had, so you can imagine how I felt waking up next to a cute girl like her. We both love anime and manga, we both draw and we even decided to make characters that fell in love with each other!

Here I thought a person like me who basically had about the worst skills with people and the worst case of "chuunibyou" you could imagine would live alone, but finding out that I was destined to be with such a cute girl has, in a way, given me a "new leash" on life!

The problem? She's androphobic because of some things that happened in her past, so she's a bit hesitant to be around me let alone be in the same room with her when she's asleep or in the shower. My problem? I'm not really a guy.

Because my parents, particularly my mom, feared that I'd be in danger commuting to and from school and being somewhat on my own, they suggested I go there dressed as a guy. I was against it at first. Not because the students and staff would find out, seeing as a number of people always said I was a great actor. I mean I'm still fooling my best friends in the club at my school that I have no problem with my crush's relationship and that I welcome her being with that person.

It was the fact that I didn't like the fact I'd have to go in disguise in the first place. But my parents ended up arguing and talking me down to do it, so I reluctantly agreed to go dressed as a guy.

And now I'm stuck in a huge room with a cute French girl who's afraid out guys. But if I tell her I'm a really a girl then she's gonna hate me most likely. I mean, she's just NOW getting used to being around me as a guy. I just can't bring myself to let her know I've been deceiving her the entire time! What will I do if she ended up hating both men AND women because she starts to feel like she can't trust anyone?

I just wish I could tell her the truth without risking the fact that she may never want to see or talk or even let alone LIVE with a liar like me…

Fuck my life and my luck…

Izuno clicked save on her laptop as she looked over at Charlotte sleeping on the bed peacefully, the French beauty curled up cutely under the covers like a little kid despite the fact she was only a year younger than Izuno was. Sighing heavily, Izuno looked down at the journal entry she had just typed and wished she could go over on the bed and curl up with Charlotte, but when she remembered how she was to remain dressed as a guy it made her chest hurt. Or maybe, that was just the tight bandaging she had wrapped around her chest making it too hard for her to take deep breaths rather than short jagged ones.

Closing her laptop she set it aside and sat there on her cot, looking up at the carvings on the ceiling. Aphrodite had said that each room was made specifically for the couples that would be living in them, from the floor or carpeting in the room to the carvings in the ceiling. Supposedly, the carvings told stories of the two people's lives in a way that it would take an open heart to decipher.

Thankfully, Charlotte hadn't deciphered the carvings overhead on the ceiling. There was one side of the carvings that had a lamb with pure white wool and a small gentle face that looked almost as if it were afraid to cross the valley that seemed filled with wolves. One the other side, was what Izuno was afraid of Charlotte deciphering. There was a snake on the other side where the carvings were supposed to be describing her. She instantly knew what kind of snake it was, so it made her uneasy whenever she'd look at it.

The snake was a King Milk Snake, a snake that was famous for disguising itself as the deadly Coral Snake. She knew what it was saying, that she was disguising herself as a man to avoid being in danger, just as the King Milk Snake's scales imitated the scale patterns of the Coral Snake to avoid being eating by other predators.

On one hand, she was grateful that Charlotte didn't know much about reptiles and wasn't good at reading between the lines. On the other, it hurt her that there was this barrier between them all because of what Charlotte THOUGHT was between Izuno's legs.

"Damn…why the hell is it that the second I have a shot at love my parents still somehow manage to mess it up for me?" Izuno growled under her breath as she watched Charlotte tossing and turning in her sleep cutely.

"Nooo…it's MY hug pillow…" Charlotte sleepily muttered in her sleep, hugging the fluffy pillow in her arms close to her as she slept soundly.

Izuno's face reddened as she silently squealed at Charlotte's sleep talking. When she remembered that she was disguised as a guy, and that she might…well WOULD scare Charlotte if she were to go over and try to sleep with her she balled her hands up before shoving her face into her own pillow and screaming, her screams successfully muffled as she laid down on the cot.

"Damn it mom! Why'd you have to make me dress up like a guy?!".