Fuil 'o mo chuislean

Not the most exciting of chapters, but necessary for background and lead up. Hope you enjoy.

Oh…CarminMoon….there's a little surprise in here for you :D xxxx

Chapter Two

Bella POV

My eyes rolled back in my head in sheer pleasure as the hot meat and pastry filled my mouth, juices running down my chin. The bench was missing one of the necessary slim planks of wood that made up its seat and my bony ass hung down in the gap, going a little numb. The ones either side were wet and a little slimed with soft green growth, algae or lichen I couldn't tell. I licked along the side of one hand to my wrist before the juice from the pasty could trickle under my sweater. The other hand was still wearing one of the pair of fingerless mittens that had been given to me while I had travelled through the towns North of this one. They were a pleasing mixture of hand dyed green, blue and purple wools, softly scratchy and utterly warm.

It surprised me how adept I had become at receiving charity graciously since I left Forks. I stopped eating long enough to one-handedly pull the matching woollen hat down over my head; the cold ache in my ears was detracting from my enjoyment of the impromptu meal and we couldn't have that. I squinted across the river as the rising sun turned pink and orange through blinding winter white before seeping away from the snow blue sky. My mouth continued to fumble pieces of the pie into itself unbidden as my thoughts drifted back to the beginning of my fugitive timeline.

Edward's words rang in my ears and for a heart stopping thirty seconds I believed him. In that half minute I saw what a world as a broken toy was like, a world not without Edward, but without ever truly having had Edward, and I did not like it one bit. But his gaze was too even, his voice too toneless, the words he spoke contrived and without the punch of his normal, indolent surety behind them. He could lie to his family, lie to himself, but he couldn't lie to me for shit. I wasn't sure whether to be angry with him or amused that he would think to try. I felt loss and acceptance warring in my heart and I made the decision for us.

"No. No, Edward." I placed an unwavering hand on his arm.

"No?" He had not expected that.

"I can't say it in as many languages as you must be able, but I could try a couple more if you're having trouble with this one." He looked stunned. I smirked. I allowed myself a fleeting and minute flash of triumph. He would be the overall victor in this, but it would be on my terms.

"I know, Edward. Don't forget just how very much I know you and that magnificent brain of yours, as misguided as it may be right now. You're going to leave because you do love me, and because you want to keep me safe, not because I'm a burden. You love me enough to leave me, even though you are shattering into a thousand pieces inside, and know that I am doing the same. This isn't boredom, or a whim." I stroked his pale cheek and his eyelids snapped shut in pain. "And you didn't arrive at this decision lightly."

"Bella, I…"

"It's OK, Edward. I said my goodbyes to you, in my heart, the first time you refused to kiss me, when you put space between us as you walked me to class. I said goodbye when you stopped looking me in the eye two days ago. And now," I tiptoe-kissed his forehead "you are going to take me to our family, so that I can hug them goodbye, so that they can tell me they love me and will miss me. I always knew I would forgive you anything, but there will be less to forgive this way. You can't do this for me, it hurts too much, I know that. So I will do it for us both."

He clung to me then, like a drowning man. That was not far from the truth. With one swift motion he picked me up and threw me on his back. My heart ached to know that I would never experience this with him again. Nor would I walk among the trees again. He was as much a part of this place as they were, and without him they were no longer a forest, lacking their wildest component. The branches blurred past us, becoming lighter as his fleet feet brought us out of the tree line to the house where our family moved in tight circles, loading belongings and themselves into cars with total economy of movement. Those who were standing turned as we approached, those seated in their vehicles exited and stood with the others. Surprisingly, Rosalie's expression was the most stricken of all. I wondered then at what it must take from her to put on her ice queen mask day after day when it was the furthest thing from her true heart. I think Jasper must have relayed a little of that brief understanding to her, because she glanced at him askance for a second, before nodding at me slowly, biting her lip gently. The very human gesture did not seem out of place for some reason and she hugged herself closely. Carlisle smiled sadly as we stopped in front of the group.

"Bella."

I slipped to the ground from Edward's back, astonished not to have lost my balance for once; that was only fair, I had enough bad luck to wade through today. I walked forward and embraced him tightly.

"I know you're leaving." I couldn't step out of his arms at that moment if I tried. "I had Edward bring me here to say goodbye, and to somewhat change the terms of your departure."

"I don't understand." He held me at arms' length regarding me curiously.

I hadn't realised that I was smiling until I felt the wind's chill against my teeth as it blew across the river, mingling the far away smell of the sea with the rocky scent of the freshwater that rolled deeply through the canal. I wrapped up the remaining food tightly in its paper bag and lodged it down in my backpack, shuffling two sweaters around it to try to keep it from equalising in temperature with the icy air.

I could afford to spend one, maybe two more days here before moving on, a prospect I never looked forward to. The choice between trying to ride the trains without a ticket, hitchhiking or, god forbid, walking to my next destination was hard because while two of them could leave me vulnerable to whomever else was wandering as I was, the first could get me arrested, drawing exactly the kind of attention I didn't want. I'd had near misses so far, a combination of forethought and fate I think, but brains only get you so far, and luck always runs out. While I wasn't stupid enough to believe that this would not prove true in my case, I was desperate enough to push my luck one more time. 'Definitely dead if I didn't' beat 'possibly fucked if I did' every time. I leaned back, belly full and brain fuller, mulling over my options while my tongue picked stray morsels of food from around my teeth.

A squawk of surprise left my throat as I was hauled backwards and half over the back of the wooden bench by the arm I had wound through the strap of my backpack. Before it could even register that I was hanging across the wooden slats, my torso stretched precariously over nothing but air, another violent tug pulled the rest of me free of the bench. I barely noticed the scratch of an errant nail as it tore a small hole in the tender skin of my inner thigh. Likely I'd have enough presence of mind later to be grateful that it wasn't an inch higher. I bit my tongue heavily as my knees and feet hit the ground with a crack, my upper body held taut in the air by the arm still attached to my pack. I was being shaken like a rat and it took a few seconds before I could focus on my assailant. The dried vomit on one corner of an unshaven mouth and a bloodshot eye left me not wishing to see the rest of him. But the colour of his shabby coat, remarkably like that of Sophie's Da-bundle, gave me a good idea of who was currently trying to tear my arm off.

"Bitch….want….give…want it…bitch…it now…whore…" were the few words I could make out as he yammered at me from between lips bubbled with saliva. I felt a great fist grab a thick clump of hair above my ear and the instinctual, high pitched "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh" noise that I produced on contact surprised us both. He was trying to rip and shake me away from my pack, obviously very much enamoured of its contents. Some of those contents were currently inching their way up and out of the few pockets that were not tied or zipped closed, like splinters easing their way out of flesh. Either that or they were just excited at the prospect of a fistfight. I snorted at the thought. Whatever they were, they all made completely different noises as they hit the flagstones beneath us. I heard one of them roll to my left and under the bench from which I had been dragged. I turned to bite the hand but it withdrew as if scalded before I could get anywhere near it. I settled for letting myself swing in a downward arc toward his legs aiming for anything that looked biteable.

Why wasn't I afraid yet?

shake swish shake

Fuck I think my arm just came out of its socket.

shake swing shake

Pink socks? Really?

I tittered at the sight as indignation swept through me. They had looked so much nicer on Sophie. My teeth crunched into his kneecap as I dug my bony fingertips into the soft, lymphy flesh behind the knee joint. "Didn't grow up play fighting with werewolves without learning some dirty tricks, you fucker" I muttered as I spat the taste of the fabric as far from me as I could. We both hit the floor in time with his scream. I hauled my arm back, ignoring the grinding in my shoulder, and swung my rucksack at his head with all I had. I found my feet with a quickness born of adrenaline and anger, and stomped on the knee I had already injured. He rolled sideways with a deep groan that almost escaped the audible spectrum, his leg drawn up to his stomach so that his ragged hands could cradle the injured joint. With a step back and forward for momentum I stomped down again, this time on the bony knob of his ankle. Feeling it squashed between my boot and the hard paving stone was more satisfying than I could have imagined. I worked quickly, stomping, slapping, hitting him again and again around the head with my backpack and my booted feet until the need to get the hell away from this evil bitch obviously overcame the desire to tend to his knee or covet my belongings.

With a lurch he swivelled on one palm and was up and loping through the dense rhododendrons that clustered close to every public walkway with an impressive haste. I threw my pack to the ground in triumph and frustration, shouting a loud "Gaaaaaaaah" of victory and pissed-offness after him, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides.

I slumped, letting myself fall back as if to make a snow angel. The ground was cold. And lumpy. There was at least one beetle in my hair and I needed to find out which of my possessions had hurled themselves from my backpack in panic. But I figured that could wait until my lungs had fully reacquainted themselves with the joys of oxygen.

~Sin~

Huge thank you to my first three reviewers, who got to choose a few key items or phrases that we'll encounter later in the story. Your choices will make themselves known as and when we get to those points in the story; thank you for the thought that you put into them. I do like to involve my reviewers at random, so beware of being put on the spot and having to choose what someone does next etc. if you've posted a review ;) Chapters will probably be kinda short until I get into full swing with the story, but there should be plenty of them. Until next time…