A/N:

Been a long time since I've updated this. May as well get around to it now before I forget it.

The funny thing about this last chapter was that I uploaded it the night before - perhaps even the same night as - the update that implemented Kawakaze and Umikaze into the game. Obviously the last chapter would have been a bit different if I had held off another day. In addition, the last chapter was inspired by a pic I saw on Danbooru during the time I wrote it that actually does depict the Shiratsuyu-Class making dinner - some of you may know which one I'm talking about.

So in order to make up for that, enjoy this chapter instead.

-Akyuu no Joshu

"Ahem, ahem, test, test. Is this thing on?"

"It should be, Kirishima-san said that she spent all morning trying to get the mics set up...they should be live."

"Hey, hey, Yuudachi, don't do that, this isn't a toy..."

"I bet she'd play fetch with it though."

"Shiratsuyu-nee-chan, don't make fun of me, poi!"

"I'm just sayin', you so totally would play fetch with it, though."

"S-So what if I would, poi!?"

"Here, fetch!"

"Poi!"

"A-Ah, what're you - Shiratsuyu-nee-san, please don't throw that, these are all valuable equipment here...!"

"I know, right? Not ta mention Kirishima-aneki's gonna kick some ass if she ever finds out we threw one 'a 'er precious mics..."

"Heeeyyy! Who just threw a microphone!? I heard that! ! !"

"See? Told'ja."

"Hey, hey...so, like, on a scale of one to ten, how scary do ya think Kirishima-san gets when someone tampers wit'da mic?"

"Uhhh..."

"No, wait, that's fuckin' bullshit, Suzu."

"Huh? Da hell do ya mean by that, 'it's bullshit'?"

"Because! We don't got anythin' to compare it to. Numbers are vague as shit."

"Fine, then...um...is she scarier than Kaga-san gets when somebody other 'n Akagi-san steals her afternoon gyoza?"

"No, no no no no..."

"Yeah, I wouldn't say so either...that's kind of hard to top."

"But Kirishima-san is still a battleship...she can get really scary..."

"That's true too..."

"More than that, what's taking so long...?"

"Waaaahh...Kirishima-san's scarryyy, Shigure, save meeeee, pooii~!"

"Well, if you didn't always chase after things like this, she wouldn't scold you, Yuudachi..."

"Okay, Shiratsuyu-Class, you're going live in thirty seconds! Drink some water, settle down, and get ready! I'll give you another reminder at ten!"

"So, um, why are we doing this again...? Kawakaze and I just got posted to this base, so..."

"So the Admiral said we needed to make something called a 'drama CD'...so that's basically what we're about to do."

"And...what...exactly are we supposed to do...?"

"We're going to talk about our lives here at Yokosuka Naval Yards, and then we'll upload the CD to the internet! It'll be fun!"

"Honestly, that sounds like a surefire way to make ourselves look like total idiots to everybody on the net."

"Aww, Suzukaze, please don't be like that, this is going to be a good way to improve our image to everyone in the country!"

"As if we didn't already know that."

"O-Okay, but, but - the Admiral wants us to do it, so we have to do what he asks, right?"

"Sami, you're tryin' too hard to get on his good side - "

"Ten seconds, girls! I'll count down from five!"

"Okay, everyone knows our opening lines, we've all practiced it for like five hours last night. If anybody screws up - "

"Five!"

"I'm gonna - "

"Four!"

" - make you - "

"Three!"

" - clean out - "

"Two!"

" - our rooms!"

"One!"

"Good afternoon, everyoooooonnneeee~!"

"This's gonna be our first rendition of the ship girls' podcast comin' at'cha live, straight from Yokosuka, the Shiratsuyu-Special!"

"Hey, why's it gotta be the 'Shiratsuyu-Special'?"

"Because I said so, damn it! Anyway, I'm the first Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer, and your host, Shiratsuyu!"

"My name is Shigure."

"Murasame here~"

"Yuudachi's here, poi!"

"Ha - Harusame, r-reporting for duty - !"

"S-Samidare, at your service!"

"I'm Umikaze."

"Kawakaze's in the buildin', y'all."

"'Sup, it's Suzukaze!"

"And we're - "

"The Ichijou Destroyer Squadron!"

"Wait, Samidare-chan, Suzukaze-chan, why didn't you two say anything there?"

"Tch. What do you friggin' think?"

"We...weren't designed by Ichijou-sensei..."

"Oh."

"...girls, you're still live."

"A-Ah, yeah, right, right, right! So uh - yeah, welcome to the first ever Shiratsuyu Special live podcast! Like I said, I'm - "

"Like I said, why the fuck does it gotta be the 'Shiratsuyu' Special!?"

"Holy crap, like, do you have a problem with that or something, Kawakaze?! Respect your older sister, why don't'cha!"

"If you were actually as strong as any 'a the rest 'a us, then maybe you'd have some goddamn leverage! But'cha don't! All you give a shit 'bout is bein' first! First this, first that! First, first, first! And who was it who ranked dead fuckin' last in our combat proficiency trials the other day?"

"Wow, low blow there, Kawakaze."

"You guys, please, we have people listening to us live right now...sigh..."

"Thank God Sazanami-chan isn't here right now, poi..."

"I know, right."

"U-Uh, um, we - we're all very happy to be bringing you this s-special program! Um - um - uh - "

"I think it is appropriate for us to introduce this program. The Shiratsuyu-Special Podcast is a live radio show broadcast on the Internet to our fans and listeners in Japan and around the world. We will mainly be discussing everyday life here at our home base, the Yokosuka Naval Yards, and our thoughts living here."

"Good going, Shigure."

"I'm disappointed in your ability to host, Shiratsuyu-onee-san."

"Urk..."

"So, then, let us have our beautiful and wonderful host start us off, shall we? Shiratsuyu-nee-chan, what do you think about life here at Yokosuka?"

"Eh, I'm on the spot now? After I just got freakin' roasted by my own little sister?"

"Ya salty, Aneki? Here, I got somethin' for ya."

"Wait a minute, where'd you even get this?"

"Took it from the mess hall. Figured I might need it for this exact purpose."

"You're a sonuva - "

"Girls, pay attention!"

"Right, right. Um - well, life here's pretty good. We get up, eat, train, fight, go on quests, expeditions..."

"Eat, sleep, fight, repeat! Eat, sleep, fight, repeat! Eat, sleep, fight, repair bucket, poi!"

"Yuudachi!"

"Hehe, sorry, poi!"

"But like, Shiratsuyu-nee-chan, be more specific, our listeners probably want to know more. What exactly makes living here so enjoyable?"

"Well, if they really gotta know, it isn't like we had anywhere else to live - "

"Let's spare them the more sensitive details for now. Although I admit that is probably common knowledge by now."

"The fact that I'm always the first one at the mess hall is pretty neat!"

"There she goes again, 'bout bein' fuckin' first - "

"Kawakaze, for the love of God, please do not interrupt our eldest sister every four point eight seconds, otherwise I will have to punish you thoroughly tonight."

"...wow, Kawakaze, yer kinduva pushover when it comes ta Umikaze, huh?"

"...shut the fuck up, Suzu. Ain't like yer so different with Samidare-aneki."

"At least I don't bend over for her like you do."

"Girls, can you stop interrupting each other? How many times do we have to tell you this is live? You're making yourselves look like idiots!"

"Whoa, Kirishima-san's gettin' mad. But no, seriously, being first in the mess hall every morning is pretty sweet. You know why? 'Cause I get to have first dibs on Mamiya-san's morning gyoza. You can tell which ones got really well cooked, the ones towards the middle 'a the frying pan, and the ones that aren't so cooked. Love it."

"Pssh...that's why she's got the lowest scores on our combat proficiency trials, poi. Too busy stuffin' herself with gyoza."

"Hey, at least I've been improving over the last few weeks! The Admiral's been leveling me up consistently lately!"

"That's...that's, uh, because the Admiral tried sortieing us all together that one time, and then you...got criticalled nearly instantly because he didn't realize your level was so low...Shiratsuyu-onee-san."

"And that's so friggin' B.S.! Even though I'm the first one he should've been leveling up!"

"Okay, okay, I think that's enough gameplay commentary out of our eldest Shiratsuyu-Class here. What about you, Shigure-nee-chan?"

"Me? Oh...well, I must say I'd have to agree with Shiratsuyu-onee-san. Life here is great. The Admiral is kind, we have wonderful and powerful comrades who make sure our missions and quests always turn out successfully, and I have eight other ship sisters with me whom I all love."

"Awwww..."

"My feels! My feeeeeels! Shigureeeeeeee, I love you tooooo, poooooooi!"

"W-Waaah?! Y-You guys, this - this isn't something you ought to be getting all - oh, I don't even..."

"I'd jus' like to point out that we're still missin' Yamakaze, though."

"Oh...yeah, right..."

"Please, implement Yamakaze soon!"

"Kadokawa, you can hear us, can't'cha? We just need one more for the full set, you can do that, can't'cha?"

"The rain dance! We'll do the Shiratsuyu-Class-exclusive rain dance! That way, we'll definitely convince Kadokawa to put in Yamakaze for us, poi! Harusame, go fill that drum 'a yours with rainwater the next time it starts raining!"

"O-Okay, roger that!"

"A-Anyway! I think that - I think that the best part about this base, however, is the Admiral. He - he is always so kind to us. He always tries his hardest to make sure we can always win our battles no matter what."

"I have noticed that myself as well. Two days ago, the Admiral wouldn't even send Kawakaze and I on our first sortie together without a full heavy cruiser escort squadron. It seems he really wanted to keep us safe."

"Well, considerin' how fuckin' hard that last event was to get ya two, I'd feel the same way, y'know?"

"That ain't hardly our fault, bitch..."

"Remember that time when we were under Level 10? The Admiral wouldn't even let us go on that one mission to the Kis Island seas until we were all at least level 20, back when it was just the four of us, Shiratsuyu-nee-chan, Shigure-nee-chan, me, and Yuudachi-chan."

"Yeah, that, and he didn't send us 'til we were all upgraded."

"And then he leveled us to 30."

"And then he waited until R&D got us all equipped with 10-cm's and quad torpedoes."

"And then he had us train in easy nodes to gain battle morale."

"And then we beat the entire thing in one try."

"Say, don't any of you think that maybe, he's just, like, really obsessed with us, poi? Because, like, we're the highest leveled destroyer class in the entire base. Like, no lie, poi."

"Well, he's always said he's liked us all as a destroyer class, so..."

"That...that's t-true...the Admiral said to me once that he really liked me and all of us together collectively..."

"He's just a big fan of your pink hair, Harusame-onee-san."

"It's because he's my fan. Let's be real here. Plus, I was his first Shiratsuyu-Class destroyer, none of you can top that."

"Hah, says the one who's only got a base 49 max firepower stat at level 20, poi!"

"It's not my fault Kadokawa hasn't given me a second Kai yet, Yuudachi! Shut up!"

"Alright, girls, that's enough for one segment! Throw it into intermission!"

"Ah, we just got word from our producer that we're going to have to put the show on intermission! Thank you all for listening thus far, and we'll be right back~!"

"See ya soon, poi!"

"Man, seriously, this is actually kind of tough, doing a radio talk show over the internet."

"But it's fun, isn't it?"

"Samidare-chan, you haven't even done much talking at all, though."

"I-I'll try my b-best!"

"But like, are me 'n Umikaze supposed to be here? It ain't like we can really talk much, we haven't even been posted here more 'n a few days ago."

"Everyone will have their chance to talk, Kawakaze. Don't you worry~"

"...you sound awfully enthusiastic 'bout that, Murasame-aneki..."