A/N:

For those of you who have been reading my stories for some time, you can very easily tell that the Shiratsuyu-Class destroyers are among my favorite ship girls in Kantai. Two of my stories feature two of them as main characters, and out of my top ten all-time favorite ship girls in Kantai, the Shiratsuyu-Class alone make up half of them.

I've also recently been having growing interest in the concept of "drama CD's", although I can't say that I know what they are since I've never actually listened to one. The last chapter was my attempt at one, but by that point I guess it's something else entirely.

-Akyuu no Joshu

"Okay, is everyone good to go again? We're about to start, going live again in ten!"

"Hey, Umikaze-aneki, do you know if there's any more mizu youkan from yesterday in the fridge?"

"Um, there should still be a few more..."

"Sweet. That bitch Shimakaze took the last few ones earlier today at lunch. Said they were for her sisses. Prolly total bullshit..."

"Alright, girls, you're live!"

"Welcome back to the Shiratsuyu-Special, hope you guys didn't miss us too mu - "

"Still with the whole 'Shiratsuyu-Special' shit!"

"Oh, get over it already, don't be so salty that you're not the host of the show!"

"Say what, ya stupid fuckin' level twenty-somethin' lil' - "

"Kawakaze! Please, don't throw the microphone!"

"S-Sorry."

"Anywaaaaay, 'fore we got interrupted there, let's pick up where we left off, shall we? Uh...so...pssst, does anyone know where we left off?"

"Everyone give a round 'a applause for our wonderful host Shiratsuyu-Aneki-sama. Such a wonderful host. I'm a big fan, Aneki-sama. Big fan, big fan."

"U-Um, we...we left off at...at talking about what we think about this base, didn't we...?"

"Ah, yeah, yeah, that's right, thanks Harusame! I think we had Shigure talk 'bout that for a bit, so why don't we move on ta Murasame?"

"Oh, me? Well then - ahem, hello everybody, Murasame here, third of the Shiratsuyu-Class~ Ummmm, let's see, what I enjoy most about the base here...honestly, I'd have to say how free our schedules are. Remember when we were first posted here? I thought the Admiral was going to be a really strict person when we met him for the first time. It was scary..."

"I thought so too! But he turned out to be such a nice guy, poi. What did you two think, Umikaze-chan, Kawakaze-chan?"

"Um, I didn't think he was scary...but I do agree that he does tend to have an intense face sometimes..."

"It's 'cause he's always so busy with sorties 'n stuff. He's always plannin' shit, y'know? Sorties, expeditions, trainin' regimens..."

"That's what's so great about him, in my opinion. He is a man of action, and he's always so productive. Plus, like we've said before, he cares about all of us so much. Especially us Shiratsuyu-Class. I wonder...why does he care about us so much? I mean, it's never been a doubt that he's very partial towards us. And please don't say it's because of Harusame-chan's pink hair."

"A-Aw..."

"Hey, hey, Murasame, don't get so riled up 'n jealous jus' 'cause you walked in on 'im combin' Harusame's hair one afternoon, mkay?"

"I-I-I was not j-jealous! ! !"

"See!? You're blushin', blushin'! Jealous, I'm tellin' ya!"

"Was not! Was not! Was not!"

"But it actually is true. The Admiral told me one day when I was working as secretary that one of the reasons why he liked us a lot as a ship class was because all of us had really beautiful hair. Did...did he tell anyone else that? Or was I the only one?"

"No..."

"Nope."

"Uh-uh..."

"Wow, Samidare. Keepin 'a lil' dirty secret with the Admiral, huh? Makin' progress on 'im 'fore the rest 'a us? That's dirty. I didn't know you could play dirty."

"Y-Yeah, Samidare-chan! Don't hog the Admiral all to yourself! I haven't got to be secretary even once yet, poi! And here you are having all sorts of these great conversations with him!"

"I-I-I-It's no-nothing of the sort! Please d-don't think that I'm up to no good!"

"Oooh, Samidare-chan's thinking of naaaauuuughty things now, isn't she? What were you thinking of there, hm? Care to share them with us?"

"M-Murasame-onee-saaaaaan! ! !"

"To be fair, Samidare does have the most beautiful hair out of all of us. It's understandable at the Admiral would tell her that."

"E-Eh!? M-M-Me!? No, that...that can't be right, surely...?"

"I can vouch for that. I mean, at first it was Samidare who was hands down Most Beautiful Hair girl, and then Harusame started contesting that when she came along, and then now Umikaze."

"Ooohh...I-I don't think...my hair is as good as Samidare's...her's is too beautiful, I can't win..."

"H-Harusame-onee-san!? No, wait, please - h-have some more confidence in yourself...!"

"I agree too. I think Samidare's hair is uncontested."

"Then let's have a quick vote to settle it! All in favor of Samidare's hair, raise your hands! That's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight, including me! Now, is there anyone who would like to raise an objection? Didn't think so! Congratulations to Samidare, for winning the seventh monthly 'Best In-Class Hair' Award!"

"F-Fueeeeh!? Aaaaahhh...oooohhh...p-p-please don't clap for me...about s-something like that..."

"Okay, okay, back to the topic. Murasame, was there anything else you wanted to add?"

"Well, I just quickly wanted to finish my point about having relatively open schedules."

"Ah, right, right."

"So like I was saying, I thought the Admiral was the type to give his ship girls really strict schedules. But as it turns out, he is very lenient with schedules. All that he asks for is for us to show up to deployment whenever he gives us notice that we are due for an expedition or sortie. Other than this, we are free to do whatever we wish with our free time."

"Alright, moving on to Yuudachi. What's your take on this? What's the best thing about this base, in your opinion?"

"THE DOUGHNUTS, POI!"

"W-Whoa...such enthusiasm. Well, we all kinda...already knew that though..."

"But it's true, poi! Mamiya-san's and Irako-san's doughnuts are the greatest, poi! I can't live without them, poi! In fact, I want some right now, poi! I'll be right back, poi!"

"Y-Yuudachi, no, wait - sit - still! You are not going anywhere, Yuudachi!"

"A-Auuuu..."

"We're in the middle of a broadcast and you're about to leave to get a doughnut? Please have some sense!"

"B-But the doughnuts, pooooiii..."

"Er, Yuudachi-onee-san, what else...other than the doughnuts...do you like about this base?"

"Hm...? Oh, well...Mamiya-san, or Irako-san, I guess?"

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Because they make me doughnuts whenever I want them, poi!"

"A-Ah...I-I see...so it was just all about the doughnuts in the end, wasn't it..."

"Ah! I just remembered, poi!"

"W-What, Yuudachi-onee-san? What did you, um, remember...?"

"The Admiral gives me insanely good head rubs!"

"O-Oh...the headrubs, yes..."

"Oooh!? Shigure, can you comment on this?! What're these mysterious 'headrubs' Yuudachi's speaking of?!"

"W-Well...the Admiral...he...he likes to...s-stroke our...our hair flaps..."

"He does!? Oooohhh, why doesn't he do that for me!? Stupid, stupid Admiral!"

"Holy crap, even Murasame's gettin' worked up over this..."

"Sh-Shigure-onee-chan, h-how...how do you get the Admiral to, um, s-stroke your hair...? P-Please, tell us...!"

"It's the hair flaps, man. It's gotta be the hair flaps."

"I agree."

"Whoaaaa!? Then, then does this mean - !?"

"What, Shiratsuyu-onee-san?"

"This can only mean one thing! ! !"

"O-One thing...?"

"Hair flaps are confirmed a sign of the second remodel!"

"But of course! Excellent observation, Shiratsuyu-onee-san! Everyone, after this, let us all go to the local hairstylist and ask to get hair flaps just like Shigure-onee-san and Yuudachi!"

"Yeah!"

"Sounds good."

"E-Eh!? Th-That has no basis at all! What are you guys even talking about!"

"Yeah! It's not like we asked to have hair flaps! We just came with 'em after we popped out of our remodels! Don't be so jealous, poi!"

"What did you say, Yuudachi? Don't be...jealous?"

"Eeeeeek! G-Give, give, give, give, pooooooooooi!"

"A-Anyways! Movin' on, next up, we've got Harusame! Harusame, in your opinion, what's the best part of base life? Tell the world, the whole world's listening!"

"Th-The w-w-whole w-world?! E-Eh...oh...uh, uh, uh...um...I...I..."

"H-Harusame-onee-san, don't faint right now! You're on air!"

"O-Oohhh...I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...um..."

"Remember, the best thing about base life."

"Y-Yes...right, right...um...I think...I think...um...m-my...my..."

"Your what, Harusame?"

"M-My...my f-f-family! Everyone, I'm - Th-That's the best part! Uuuu..."

"H-Harusame-onee-saaaaan...!"

"Er, ya guys, try not ta cry on the mic, yeah...?"

"C'mon, Kawakaze, how can ya say that when the rest of us're too busy going 'awwwww'?"

"Well, for yer information, that's 'cause I ain't a mushy bitch, that's why..."

"Awww, it's okay, poor lil' Kawakaze, your sisters still love you. Especially Umikaze, I'm sure she knows how ta love you in just the right ways 'n places."

"Shut the fuck up, you worthless piece 'a shit of a destroyer!"

"Kawakaze..."

"Eeeek! I-I'm sorry, aneki! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!"

"Okay, that was short 'n sweet. Next, Samidare! What's the best part of life here?"

"Me? Oh, well...um...I'd say being the secretary ship girl. The Admiral's office is such a nice place to be in. Plus, if you look out the window, you can see the whole sea and the rest of the base, and the sun comes in at just the right angle, and if you open up the windows, the breeze from the sea comes in, and...oh, it's just wonderful, it really is."

"But our listeners wanna know, since you've been the secretary ship girl out of us the most, how difficult it is being the secretary. Is it as hard as people think it is, or is there some kind of secret behind it?"

"S-Secret!? Th-There is no 'secret'...I simply enjoy working with the Admiral...it, well, it is tough work sometimes. The Admiral needs to fill out so many papers because he's always so busy, so sometimes I work with him to share his burden so he doesn't have to do it all by himself. But it is fun, really! The Admiral and I talk about many things while we work to pass the time. It's really fun."

"Oooohh...Samidare, you're really making me want to apply for the position now..."

"Murasame, you're gettin' real jealous, aren't'cha."

"Am I getting a deja vu, Suzukaze?"

"No, totally not, I totally didn't ask ya that same question like three minutes ago."

"Last intermission, girls!"

"Ah, we just got word from our producer that we're scheduled for our last break! Sit tight, when we come back, we'll wrap up the discussions and take some questions from the listeners! Thanks for tunin' into the Shiratsuyu Special!"

"For God's sake, Shiratsuyu-aneki, we're changin' that name the next time we do this."

"No, we're not."

"Yes, we are."

"You can't disrespect me, I'm the eldest here! Listen to your older sister like a good girl!"

"I'll show ya how a real good girl behav - ow! O-Okay, okay, okay, U-Umikaze-aneki, I'll stop, I'll stop! I - aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh..."

"...what the hell is Umikaze doin' to her?"

"Er...you...don't...want to know..."