Chapter 16: August 18, 2015 – Filch

Chapter Summary: How do you solve a problem like Filch?

Crossover: Harry Potter, mentions of Charmed and DS9

Challenge: for the livejournal 2015 August Fic-a-Day Challenge

Timeline: Storywise – vague for Buffy's first year as Headmistress

Disclaimer: BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon/Mutant Enemy. HP characters belong to JK Rowling. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Hogwarts entryway

Sighing as she watched Filch intimidate some students coming back from the Quidditch game, Buffy knew she had to do something about the surly caretaker. Getting Worf and Hagrid to take over security – and with house elves able to do the cleaning part of his job description – she didn't really have a reason to keep him on staff.

But she couldn't just throw him out…the little voice in her head that sounded exactly like Cole reminded her that people needed a chance to prove themselves worthy. What Filch could be worthy of, she had no clue. He seriously couldn't be around children, though. The only way she'd allow that would be in a Halloween horror attraction where he was supposed to terrify them.

After all the students came in, she kept watching from the shadows as he cleaned the entryway while having a running monologue directed at his beloved cat, Mrs. Norris. His beloved cat…Mrs. Norris. Huh, that brought up a couple questions. First and foremost, why name a cat Mrs. Norris? Second, where was Cole? She needed to brainstorm an idea with him.

Hogsmeade

A couple weeks later…

After a brief conversation with Filch about his dreams and aspiration, Buffy knew she was on the right track with her plan to remove him as caretaker without tossing him into the street. With some financial backing provided by James Potter and Sirius Black – who felt students deserved a Filch-free school experience – Buffy was able to get the property and start-up capital she needed.

And now she was unveiling her plan to Filch.

He was staring at her suspiciously as they walked to the far side of Hogsmeade village. It was almost like he expected her to try to lose him in the forest and hope he couldn't find his way back. His dark thoughts broke off when she suddenly stopped in front of a small cottage. "What are we doing here, Headmistress?" he snapped.

"I thought you might like to see Hogsmeade's newest business," Buffy replied with an impish grin.

Filch sneered, however. "Another store to sell the students worthless items to clutter up the castle…bah!" he cursed in the direction of the house at the unseen occupants who would make his life even more difficult.

Gesturing at the cottage, Buffy started walking around the side of it. "This is just where the owner will live. The real business is out back." There was a medium-sized barn with a white screen covering a majority of the front. "Now, Hagrid!" she shouted.

The screen disappeared to reveal a sign that said, 'Filch's Fine Cats and Kneazles'. It was clearly a magical sign because there were kittens and full-grown cats/kneazles stalking and pouncing all over the letters.

"Headmistress?" Filch whispered in awe. When he told her his dream, he expected her to laugh at him, not make it come true.

"While you may not get along great with students, you seem to have a way with cats. At least you have a passion for caring for them, and that means a lot for a business like this. Hagrid and Fester can teach you about breeding them. We found another cat-lover who can handle the selling side of the business. Her name is Arabella Figg.

"James and Sirius put up the seed money to get you started. All you have to do is sign the papers, agreeing to pay them back with 50% of the profits until the no-interest loan is paid off." She turned to look at him. "What do you think? Wanna give it a try?" she asked.

"Thank you, Headmistress," Filch said softly as he fought to keep the tears at bay.

A/N: This challenge was a lot easier before I had a full-time plus job.