Chapter 5

"Let it be said that I cannot commend your father Sam's taste in the brand of pre-ground coffee that he selects," was the first comment that tore out of Kenneth's mouth as they climbed into the car. "Frankly, I haven't put something in my mouth that tasted that vile since in the Summer of 1985, where Shelly Smith held me captive in the backseat of her Volvo with all those empty Mars bar wrappers piled messily on her dashboard."

Red grimaced at the words that had left him so easily and thoughtlessly. He did not enjoy this feeling at all; This sudden earth-shattering feeling of claustrophobia that had now taken over him simply by being confined in a car with her. Usually he was not so shoddy in the company of the opposite sex; He generally acted calm and confident and at ease to say what he wanted, yet this was obviously not the same set of circumstances.

He had a tendency to chatter excessively when he was nervous, and he couldn't remember another time in his life where he had felt so cripplingly nervous as he had now.

"Who's Shelly Smith?" Elizabeth asked slowly and when he managed to find some piece of inner strength to look at her, he saw that her brows had furrowed in confusion.

"For the sake of sparing you from oversharing, I'll simply say that Shelly Smith was a girl in college and I'll leave it at that."

He was speaking in low and rapid undertones, and Elizabeth could not help gaining the impression that he was nervous for some reason to be alone in the car with her. He sat for a moment after they had both buckled up, slotting the key into the ignition. She watched as he took a few seconds to rub his hands back and forth over his jean-clad thighs as if he was mentally preparing himself to grip and handle the steering wheel, a shaky exhale leaving his mouth.

"If you thought the coffee tasted that bad, then why physically force yourself to drink it?"

"Because, believe it or not, Lizzy, I'm one of those males that needs their solid dose of caffeine of a morning to function properly. If not and without it, I turn into a bumbling, jumbling mess." Who was he kidding?

They had only been in the car in span of less than a five minute time-frame and already, he was exactly that. A bumbling, jumbling mess in front of her. Good heavens, it was insufferable on him already.

He looked at her a moment more with a somewhat sheepish and apologetic, tight-lipped smile, before he finally moved into action, switching the car on and into reverse. The moment he tore his eyes away from her to look out the back window as he started reversing the car out of the driveway and onto the road, Elizabeth felt her body sag in the seat in immense relief. His eyes and every time he so much as looked at her, it caused her heart to pick up pace.

This was not due to the color, the vivid green hue although they were wondrous, she thought. But it was for the simple fact that he was looking at her. That combined with the intensity in them and his entire physical presence, it gave her a rush unlike anything she had ever experienced before.

It just felt so nice to have an older man look at her, to really take her in and appear as though he truly was interested in who she was, or that he enjoyed spending time with her, that he had offered to take her to school even. It was so nice to have someone's attention and to be treated as basically how a young adult would be treated, which he demonstrated as much with his rambling stories.

He treated her with no kid gloves on. For once in her life, she felt as though she was actually someone's equal, that she was on the same wavelength as someone. Whether it was actually that way in reality or not, Elizabeth did not know.

All she knew was that it felt that way, that someone was taking her seriously for once. Or perhaps it was her secret infatuation with him that made her so blinded and biased?

"So are you enjoying school?" Red forced himself to ask in order to break the uneasy silence now that they were sailing down the road. There were no street signs that told him what the speed limit was in this particular neighboring area where Lizzy and Sam lived, so he was making an estimated guess.

"Not really. Can anyone honestly say that they enjoy school?" She didn't even know why he was bothering to ask her about school, of all things. Maybe he was just interested because it had been awhile since he had been part of the whole academic system himself?

A light turned red ahead of them and he stomped down on the breaks a bit too suddenly. It had been far too long since he had maneuvered a car. He caught Lizzy jolting forward then back in her seat out of the corner of his eyes with his ungraceful halting of the vehicle.

When he looked in her direction as he tightened his hands over the steering wheel, he saw that she was smiling down at the textbooks resting on her knees as she picked and plucked at the spine with her fingers. It was a dimple-cheeked smile that almost made him feel as if he had forgotten his own real name for a second there. Raymond Reddington, he chanted in his head, just to be certain.

The lights turned green and he eased his foot much gentler into the accelerator. Driving after such an absence from it hadn't been as challenging as he had initially thought.

He didn't want to have to face the discomfiture he would feel when he had to ask whereabouts it was that her school was and in which general direction. But he hadn't been in Nebraska for an extremely long time now and he couldn't not ask, despite his head screaming at him not to. He wanted to seem perfectly in control and knowledgeable of his surroundings to her, and yet he wasn't.

"You're going to have to give me directions if you don't mind, sweetheart." The endearment came out naturally without him putting much thought into what he was saying. It just seemed to come and flow out. "I won't know where to take you if you don't show me and guide me along. My knowledge of schools in Nebraska are quite lacking. Then again, I am just a silly old man to you, aren't I?"

That backhanded comment was like a blow to the stomach.

She closed her eyes for a second in embarrassment, her face flaming with heat. She had suspected that she had offended him by that thoughtless comment regarding his age and, as it turned out, she was spot on with her assumptions. It just never registered in her mind that men could be so sensitive about their age; Her dad Sam certainly never seemed to let it phase him.

"I was just joking about what I said with the entire age thing," she tried to explain, a genial laugh almost escaping. "I never meant it seriously. I... I just get moments of verbal diarrhea if you hadn't noticed already." The burn to her cheeks intensified, radiating down to her chest through her blouse when the word diarrhea left her. What was she doing?

"Yes, well. I am rather prone to moments of verbal diarrhea myself, Lizzy. I think it is simply called being human. We are fallible and thus, we make mistakes. It's ingrained into our very nature."

She couldn't believe it. Of all things, they were speaking of diarrhea, but his words did seem to soothe her. It appeared to her as if he was consoling her, reassuring her that he hadn't actually taken her comment over his age fully to heart. It made her heart lift in her chest.

"Where did you say your school was?"

"I... I didn't yet. But you turn left here. Then you take the next left." The rest of the drive was spent with Elizabeth explaining to Kenneth whereabouts her school was. Every time he glanced in her direction, Elizabeth was feeling more and more anxious. She wished this strange feeling would go away and yet, at the same time, it was so exhilarating and unfamiliar to her to feel this way about somebody.

Whether Red realized it or not, now that he understood the vague directions to her school, he eased back a little on the speed, driving slower. Of course, she would still make it in time for school. He just did not feel all that ready to have her leave the car with him just yet.

"And so what subjects do you take at school?" In his mind, he reasoned that he was simply getting to know her. These were harmless questions, nothing of true meaning or significance.

"Well, I take history. And English." It bored her, him asking what subjects she was undertaking at school, if she had to be honest. She would much have preferred to know more intimate and personal details about him. Like his marital and relationship status, for example. She expected to feel devastated once he admitted that he was, in fact, in a committed relationship or marriage. "And it was compulsory to learn a language this year."

"And what language was that?"

"French."

Something lightened his eyes. "Vous etes comme un eclat de lumiere," he spoke in an easy breath as he glanced in her direction, the words rolling off his tongue and washing over her pleasantly.

His facial expression softened dramatically, as though he was being tender with her, though she was unsure what it was he actually said in the language; She hadn't gotten that advanced in her study. The way he spoke the language, with his voice, it was so... heavenly. She could have listened to his voice all day, whether it be in general English or otherwise.

She let out a small laugh. "I'm not that far into learning it just yet." Her voice sounded so soft and breathless, and she felt as if her wanting him and her attraction to him had soared sky high to the roof due to learning he also knew how to speak fluently in a different language. "What was it that you just said to me exactly?"

Kenneth turned his eyes back to the road, chewing the inside of his cheek. Elizabeth thought he appeared abashed and the muscle below his left eyelid twitched.

"Did you just say something dirty to me in French?" she asked suspiciously with a short scandalized laugh. Or maybe it was thinking wishfully on her part. "Is that why you refuse to tell me? Why you're embarrassed to translate?"

The fact that she said what she did outright, about him talking dirty to her as if she believed he ever would had he half a mind to, it made a gnawing anxiety settle within. She hardly sounded as if she would have minded if he had spoken something dirty to her in the slightest, which to him, was just... unfortunate. She sounded hopeful and it was dreadful. Just what would Sam possibly say or do if he ever knew of this?

Red felt immediately jittery at being put on the spot the way he was. You are like a burst of light, was what he had said. He had said it so impulsively, so foolishly, without even taking into consideration that she may have known the language that well enough at her school to have picked up on it.

He thanked the heavens above that she did not seem to understand what he had said, because he understood belatedly just how awkward it would have been, how... inappropriate. It would have only served to complicate things tremendously. He did not know what he was doing with her, but it occurred to him that he was flirting. He was actually flirting with Lizzy, trying to hold her interest.

If he was the usual greedy and selfish man that he was typically, he would have kept going at it, making it so she would never think of anyone else, that she would never want anyone else, that she'd come to... feel things for him. He would move across that fatal solid line he had drawn. Make her feel so wrapped up and hot with desire that she would begin to want him. After all, he had been supplying money to Sam to provide for her for years. Her education. Her basic needs. She was practically his for the taking anyway, wasn't she? But all that aside, he could not be that man. He would not be that man. For the sake of his loyalty to Sam and their friendship, he would not cross that boundary. He could not.

He turned on the radio just for something to do, a mindless distraction. A woman was reporting the day's news, about a recent bombing in Argentina. He tensed when something was mentioned about the FBI, and then he caught himself wondering what if, God forbid, they mentioned his name right there and then and Lizzy heard it.

He had to remind himself that he was not Raymond Reddington to her, the criminal gracing Number 4 on America's 10 Most Wanted list for treason, espionage, money laundering and a countless other list of goodies. He was just Kenneth Rathers, an innocent accountant to her. They shared history due to her childhood, though as far as Lizzy knew, they hadn't.

Lizzy would never come to know, of any of it. She couldn't.

When Lizzy pointed out where her school was and he signaled into the busy parking lot to find a safe space to let her out, another concern filled his mind as he observed a group of young boys around her age sitting on a bench talking among themselves.

He started thinking of how she was regarded at school by her peers. Was she popular? Did all the boys try to get her attention, fussing and fawning over her?

With how much of a wondrous sight she was, he assumed so and it did not settle with him so well. A tight unhappy feeling constricted his chest as he imagined her flirting with all the boys, teasing them with her dimpled smile and lovely eyes. It terrified him a little to realize that how he felt about it was nothing more than sheer jealousy; a completely unfounded and utterly base emotion. But with a firm grasp of control onto himself, he pushed that all aside as he reversed in a fairly tight space between two cars.

"Well, here we are, sweetheart. At your school." As before, the endearment left his tongue so comfortably. "Be sure to have a good day at school, won't you?" It was as if his voice had a mind of its own. "Oh, and do be mindful not to break too many naughty and unscrupulous boy's hearts in the process." The next comment had come out just as easily and he cringed at how irritated and sarcastic he sounded.

Elizabeth smiled nervously with a quiet murmur of thanks as she reached down to pick up her school bag, her ears catching the peculiar way he intoned his words. When she glanced in Kenneth's direction, she saw that he was staring forward out the windshield. She was unsure what it was but it appeared as if his entire demeanor had shifted and changed in the space of a short second. She felt some weird issue or tension there.

"Be careful not to break boy's hearts?" she repeated softly in astonishment. "I think that's pretty unlikely to happen. Boys hardly even go near me and even if they did, I don't think I would really want them to."

When he turned his head to look in her direction, she saw the way Kenneth inclined his head slightly, his facial expression what she could only describe as frighteningly solemn. His eyes burned into hers as he rolled his lower jaw muscles and she felt so tempted to avoid his gaze again, as usual, because he made her so nervous. In fact, the way he was looking at her now, it was stern and intimidating. There was no playfulness or softness.

He did seem capable of silencing someone with a mere look alone, she thought. She caught herself wondering for a moment there if Kenneth was truly a sort of dangerous man, despite not seeming so at first, just a handsome man filled with eccentricities, because if looks could kill... she'd be dead ten seconds flat into staring back at him.

She had to break his gaze as the tension had gotten too much for her to handle. She peered back down at the textbooks in her lap, finding her hands trembling while she wondered what was happening and what he was trying to communicate non-verbally between the lines with such a lethal look directed at her.

Had she said something wrong to insult him again without even realizing it? Knowing her, probably she had, though she was not sure what it was that she had said to offend him this time around.

"Then I'm very glad," he spoke, finally breaking the awful silence between them, his voice raspy and guttural; a tone she had never heard come from him before when he talked.

"Glad?" She gave him a fleeting look before she had to glance away again, averting his eyes. He was still looking at her in that way and it was scaring her, and she had to be truthful to herself in acknowledging to that. Faintly, she realized he reminded her of her dad Sam in that moment, with how he would look if she did something wrong to push him, a look that would make her immediately apologetic and regretful as she quivered in her boots. "Glad about what, Kenneth?"

That already frayed string of self-restraint broke inside Red fully and he leaned over across the console to press an open-mouthed kiss to her soft cheek. He felt her quake underneath his lips contact, her shoulders hunching into a shrug, as if endearingly embarrassed and suddenly squeamish.

And, squeamish, Elizabeth was. It had been the very last thing she had expected to happen. Maybe in a fantasy but not in real life, in reality. At the first press his lips made against her cheek, it felt almost as though her heart was threatening to explode on her.

His lips were slightly parted and puckered, his mouth hot on her skin. Chapped yet soft in texture, and it made a tingling feeling assault her brutally as her heart screamed in exultation. It was everything she had wanted and more, ever since first laying eyes on him barely two days ago when he had decided to come stay at the house. It felt so surreal, like she was dreaming or playing out a wicked fantasy inside her mind.

Yet it was not a fantasy. It was real life and it was happening.

She felt him draw his head back a little, his lips leaving her cheek. Then he did it again, once more, in the same spot, this time the tip of his nose prodding against her skin and his two front teeth touching her cheek, scraping lightly . She thought she heard him inhale her in and Elizabeth felt her eyes flutter closed. It was... for lack of a better word, heaven.

A childish, awkward giggle almost escaped the back of her throat. She was enjoying it far too much than what she ought to have no doubt, and for once in her life, ever since he had came over, she thought she understood with such aching clarity about what was going on with her body now and why it responded to him so funnily the way it tended to.

She wanted him and she desired him- her dad's childhood friend and a man she did not even properly know, who was over half her age- even to the point where scarily she felt she wanted nothing more than for him to bed her, to make love to her.

The sensations he made her body feel alone simply by a double open-mouthed cheek kiss were frightening, and when she felt him move back into the seat as his lips left her skin for the final time, she opened her eyes quickly and tried to appear unaffected. It was a tough battle to fight, though.

She did not find it within herself the capability to look at him. She felt as if she was left on fire, blistering alive at the skin. As she reached down to grab her school bag to open the door, Kenneth did not say anything as she stood out of the car onto the pavement, throwing the strap of her bag over her right shoulder. He did not offer her any explanation why or any justification, but she decided he did not need to.

She was not aware that a kiss on the cheek could feel that sexy, that invigorating and special on the senses.

Elizabeth felt as though walking was near impossible as she took the usual steps towards the building, cutting through the grass track. His kisses had left residual tender feelings on the exact places he had touched her cheek with his lips. She felt so giddy and high, still slightly filled with disbelief at what he had done and what it had meant to her.

It was only when she had reached the steps that she dared to look. Kenneth was pulling out of the parking space, but the window was wound down, his hair rustling in the breeze. As he cruised towards her at a reasonable speed in her dad's treasured Ford Pontiac, she heard him as he called out through the rolled down window at her. He lifted his hand in a brisk wave while he spoke; An urgent command, yet it also sounded like a vague warning, a threat to her very own person hood with the way in which he said it.

"I urge you not to speak any of this to Sam, Lizzy. Surely as his daughter you can understand that."

Then both him and the car were gone.

Another chapter again :P Hope this one finds you some enjoyment. Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement, it really does mean a lot to me as someone new and daunted by doing this story writing. I would love to know what you feel about this chapter so please don't hold back. I hope they aren't too out of character as always a worry. Also hope the pace isn't too rushed? It'll be rough sailing, with Red drawing back from her and then in, then back again. He'll be very worried for Sam discovering what's going on with them. And Lizzy will be more persistent, asking if he knew anything about the fire when she was little and what happened to her parents as in the show. :D Thank you!