t was Valentine's day. Dan woke up with a smile on his face, wondering what Phil had planned for today. Perhaps Phil would take him to a restaurant. Perhaps they would go for a romantic walk in the park. The possibilities were endless. The day, of course, would end with some sexy fun time. Despite the fact that Dan enjoyed all of these delightfully romantic outings with Phil, he often found himself impatient for them to end. This was when the real fun started.
"Good morning, Daniel." Phil said softly to Dan.
"Morning, Dude." said Dan trying to suppress the grin that was on his face. "Have you got anything planned for today?"
"Well... it is Valentine's day, after all." said Phil. "I wanted it to be special, so I thought that we should just spend it here, the two of us."
"Just the two of us, hm?" said Dan. "I like the sound of that."
Look pulling a tank out from under his bed "I have a surprise for you." Phil whispered in his husky morning voice, sat up in their bed but leaning slightly over Dan's soft pale form.
"Oh yeah? What've you got for me Lester?" Dan enquired, failing to hide the anticipation in his voice. Phil smirked and leaned further over his totally platonic fuck friend to reach for something under the bed.
Dan looked curiously into the tank. That was quite clearly an octopus.
"Well that's new." Dan commented as Phil giggled. A thin but long red and orange tentacle was wrapping around Phil's wrist as he bit his lip and looked innocently at his bestest bro.
Dan's eyes were wide with curiosity, locked on the slimy limb.
It wasn't just a tentacle, it was an entire animal, clearly being stored in a tank of water beneath the bed. The octopus curled in on itself as it rested on the duvet.
"You like him?" Phil asked. Dan could only nod as his mind went wild with ideas, he'd seen tentacle porn quite a bit in the past, and like seemingly every other animal, it got him riled up.
Just looking at the octopus wriggling frantically about on the table made Dan's member harder than his Year 11 History Coursework. He tried his hardest to prevent himself from imagining that violently writhing tentacle deep in his orifice but it was no use. His soldier stood to attention, tall and proud, not caring at all about Dan's dignity. Phil noticed Dan's quite obvious erection. If possible, his smirk got even wider.
"Excited, Daniel?" said Phil seductively, leaning forward to pull down Dan's boxers.
Little Daniel burst out, like a caged animal who was hungry for meat. Phil's meat to be precise.
Phil gasped.
"My, my, Daniel. You certainly put the 'D' in Dan"
"On the contrary, Philip, it will be you who will put the 'D' in Dan tonight."
Phil's eyes gleamed wickedly.
"Not yet, Daniel." he said, pointing to the constantly wriggling octopus on the table. "There's someone I would like you to meet first."
"Octowald." Phil smirked, Dan dipped his hand in the tank to wet it and pet the animal, causing it to reach up to him. The skin made a slight squelching sound at the moist contact and Dan's breathing became heavier. Phil smirked and uncurled the tentacle from his arm, placing it on Dan's thigh.
Dan's breath hitched at the touch and Phil leant in to kiss him, fingers entangled in his hair, Dan melted into it. Phil grazed his hands up Dan's back and broke the kiss to remove his t-shirt. Dan entangled his fingers into Phil's hair as his buddy began kissing his sensitive neck. Dan hummed, his exposed shlong desperate for attention he tried to move Phils hand down to his member. Phil refused, pinning Dan's shoulders down to the bed and pulling down the waistband of his my little pony pyjama bottoms. Dan groaned at the sight of Phil's punisher.
Phil ducked his head down behind Dan's legs to give him a rim job. His tongue swirled around Dan's gaping blackhole . Phil's tongue dipped into his anal cavity and he moaned in ecstasy. The sensation of Phil's tongue tickling his tight little fuck hole caused his bowels to go weak and he melted into a delicious orgasm.
Phil's tongue moved from Dan's anus to his testicles and he left a slimy trail of saliva behind him as he slipped them into his mouth. When Dan's ballsack was in his mouth, Phil flicked his tongue back and forth over them, hitting almost every single nerve in there possible. Dan couldn't contain himself any longer and let out a scream. Not only did he lose control of his vocal cords but he also lost control of his bowels and faeces spilled onto the duvet. Phil didn't care however and lapped it up like an obedient dog. Phil grinned at Dan wickedly and swallowed the load. He sat there for several minutes, patiently until he couldn't contain himself any more and vomited all over Dan's chest. Dan found everything so hot and erotic when it was his totally heterosexual flatmate doing it to him. Phil rubbed his tongue along Dan's chest, pausing to nibble at Dan's nipples.
He dipped his hand into the pool of vomit on Dan's chest and looked at him seductively before massaging the liquid onto his erect penis. He gave Dan that same grin and inched towards him, his willy in his hand. His asshole destroyer was dripping with the viscous liquid. Phil thrust his dick in and out of Dan like there was no tomorrow. Dan clenched his buttcheeks in apprehension as Phil drew in closer for the final attack. He filled Dan's tight little orifice with his monstrous, throbbing meat. Then, he withdrew the devouring monster that was his penis and watched in satisfaction as his juices of love spill out of Dan's now ravaged back door and onto his bootay. After Phil withdrew his penis, Dan let out a sigh of relief.
"Don't relax just yet." said Phil with a sinister smirk.
Dan eyed Phil warily.
"Octowald was feeling a bit left out, so I decided to let him join in." said Phil, pulling Octowald out of his tank.
Octowald wriggled in protest but this only seemed to excite Phil further. Without warning, Phil thrust Octowald up Dan's ass. Dan screamed in agony as he felt his anus clench around the wriggling octopus' body. A few of Octowald's tentacles protruded from Dan's rectum, frantically wriggling at Phil. Phil stroked his anaconda contentedly while gazing at this splendid sight. After several minutes of this, Phil finally relented and pulled the wriggling creature out of Dan's ass.
"You're looking tired, Dan..." said Phil. "Do you want a break?"
Dan looked up, wondering if he had heard Phil correctly. A break? Phil had never offered Dan a chance to rest during a sexual encounter before. It was like Christmas had come early.
"Y-yes..." Dan stuttered. He was beyond exhausted from all of that... foreplay?
"Follow me." said Phil, pulling the traumatised octopus into his arms, grabbing Dan's wrist and pulling him towards the kitchen. "I'll make you a smoothie."
A smoothie? Dan was utterly bemused. Phil was usually quite immersed into his fucking and wouldn't let something as trivial as a smoothie interrupt their sexy time.
"What type of smoothie are you going to make me, Philly?" Dan questioned, still hardly daring to believe it.
"You'll see." said Phil. That gleam was back in his eye. Dan knew that this couldn't be good.
"Not hamsters again?" Dan asked him cautiously. Hamster remains were an acquired taste and Dan still hadn't gotten used to texture of the hamster's fur, let alone the crunch of their fragile bones.
"Of course not!" said Phil incredulously. "Pet's at home stopped selling them to me long ago. They got very suspicious after last Christmas."
"Oh, good." said Dan. Relief washed over him, but that relief was short lived as they entered the kitchen.
The stench of onions overwhelmed Dan as he entered the kitchen and immediately made his eyes water. The stench was so powerful, it would make even Shrek himself proud. The vast quantity of onions all ogre the table made Dan gasp in shock.
"You're going a big ogre the top here, aren't you, Phil?" he said, once he had managed to compose himself.
Phil laughed manically. "Ogre the top? Honestly, you and your ogre puns, it's like an obsession."
"Of course I'm obsessed with Shrek, he's everything I love, with his gorgeous green skin and his manly stench of swamp water, the many layers to his personality, his scottish accent. He's so strong and his eyes and everything about him is so beautiful." Dan stared fondly into the distance, so he didn't realise the anger rising in Phil's face.
"Is that so? Well if that's how you feel then why am I even here? If you like Shrek so much, then why don't you fuck him instead of me?" said Phil, not even bothering to conceal the jealousy in his voice.
"T-that's not what I meant, bro." Dan stuttered. When he finally looked up to meet Phil's eyes, he was shocked to find Phil sobbing hysterically.
"Phil? What's wrong?"
"I thought I was special." said Phil, looking utterly distraught. "But clearly not."
"You are special! You're my home-slice, my bestest bro!" said Dan hastily.
"Am I as special as Shrek though?"
"W-well..." Dan started. He wasn't quite sure how to reply.
"Am I?" Phil demanded.
"Er... no." Dan mumbled reluctantly. He didn't want to hurt Phil's feelings but he couldn't betray his beloved Shrek in such a manner. Phil clenched his fists, he knew that would be the answer but it still hurt him more than anything they'd done in the bedroom.
"Wow... well we'll see about that then, won't we?" Phil said, anger creeping into his voice once again.
He abruptly turned his back on Dan and began to prepare the smoothie. He rapidly sliced up the enormous pile of onions with a relentless vigor. Dan was too scared to ask Phil what he was up to, as the knife in his hand looked rather menacing. Once Phil had finished slicing the onions he picked up Octowald from the counter and grabbed one of his tentacles, stretching it out across the chopping board.
Dan gasped as Octowald screeched, he had never heard a sound like that from an octopus before. He moved to the side of Phil to watch his movements more closely, he didn't talk though, in fear of making Phil angrier than he was. Phil was rapidly grazing the knife up and down the tentacle, removing layer after layer of skin and then muscle. He was focused on his actions, his arm tense as he continue to move, teeth gritted as he glared down at the animal. Dan was horrified and disappointed, to ruin a perfectly good toy whom he had enjoyed so much, was surely his punishment for preferring Shrek, I mean, what else could Phil do? Dan glanced at the silvery blade and winced, he wouldn't put it past Phil to use that on him.
After one tentacle was ripped to shreds he scooped it up and added it to the blender. Giving Octowald a chance to move away, but he had been out of water for so long, and was already weak and bleeding from his ordeals, he couldn't move fast enough. The octopus tried to gnash his teeth but it didn't work, Phil took out his frustrations on him through torture, eventually removing all of his limbs and adding them to the mix. Octowald curled in on itself, fearful Phil would take his life next.
He didn't. Octowald was pushed into the washing up bowl, Phil turned on the tap so it was gently filling with lukewarm water. Blood and ink mixed with it, but atleast he was alive, permanently crippled and traumatised, but alive.
Suddenly Phil launched at Dan, pushing him against the wall and kissing him hungrily. Arms all over each other's naked forms, just as Dan found his bearings he was flipped around and made flush with the wall. He panted as Phil's lips found his neck, and his hands found his ass. Dan hummed in content and his eyelids fluttered closed as he felt his best buddy's hot breath moving down his back, sending shivers up his spine.
Phils slender fingers grabbed Dan's ass and opened his cheeks, liking a stripe over his orifice, red from the tentacle fuckery. Dan sighed out a breath because he was still sensitive. Phil rimmed him, pushing his slick tongue between Dans muscles. Phil's cum from earlier began dripping down Dan's rectum and Phil lapped it up, one hand wrapping around Dan's soldier that's halfway standing to attention. He gasped at the extra contact, trying not to grind into Phil's mouth as Dan bit his already chapped lips. As Phil got the last few drops of cum from Dan's ass, he suddenly flipped his home-boy, Dan's back was pushed against the wall as he through his head back when Angel Bean wrapped his hot wet lips around the head of Dan's wee-wee.
"mhmm, shit" Dan breathed, he laced his fingers through Philly's hair, attempting to push him down further. Phil's right hand wrapped around the base as the nails on his left hand dig into Dan's hips pulling him closer. Dan started cursing from the sensation as the pace sped up. Phil's left hand began fondling D-slice's meaty bollocks.
"ffuuu- oh, no homo buddy." Dan's bell end brushed against the back of Phil's throat as he kept sucking him, Dan saw white flashes on the back of his eyelids as he came. Phil licked away the remaining cum. Dan felt blissed out and began to lean forward to kiss his favourite buddy. However, Phil turned around leaving Dan dazed behind him. He became more alert though, as he watched Phillip lean over the blender and wretch from shoving his fingers down to his oesophagus.
He vomited, cum and bright green bile exploded into the blender and the end of the viscous puke dripped while hanging down from his bottom lip. "Phiw?" Dan carefully tried to get his attention and ensure he was okay. Phil ignored him however and wiped away his spittle with a kitchen towel, still sternly looking down at the blender. Before Dan could speak again Phil had placed the lid on the jug and turned it on. The machine whirred loudly and it's contents slowly turned a green tinted brown. Then it stopped. He removed the lid and raised the jug, looking down and taking a deep breath.
Phil chugged the mixture containing approximately 169 onions and the remains of the mutilated octopus. Almost instantaneously, Phil's skin went from pale to bright green and his ears began to change shape. He also grew several feet in height as well as other parts of his body. Dan tried to ignore the ever growing bulge that was Phil's crotch. It was quivering. Dan knew that something wasn't right. As he gazed up at this monstrous being, he realised that Phil unmistakably resembled Shrek, but his hair was still intact. Phil-Shrek stared down at Dan intimidatingly, like the way a predator stares at his prey.
"Do you love me now, Daniel?" asked Phil-Shrek. "I did this just for you. We all make sacrifices for the ones we love."
"Y-you're insane" Dan stuttered.
"I'm insane just for you." Phil-Shrek rasped seductively.
"fyi i like vagina, I'm not homo for you Phil!" He was distressed that his bestest frienderino could have feelings for him, it wouldn't be Phil's fault of course, Dan was just a fabulous, awesome guy.
"Of course! I'm not gay, don't worry, you're my best bud Danny, you're my brother."
"oh Philly" Dan was touched. Phil and Shrek could always make him happy. They embraced, Dan wrapping his arms around his hips and Phil-Shrek resting his bristly chin on Dan's head. Dan had a stupid smile on his face, his sad dimple frowning and the British boy breathed in the swampy onion scent.
Then Phil-Shrek let go. He ran his large green hand down Dan's arm and took Dan's hand. Compared to Phil-Shrek Dan's hand was slender and dainty, the same size and Phil-Shrek's thumb.
Suddenly they were running, out of the kitchen and into Phil's room. His senpai spun Dan onto the bed. Dan couldn't help but notice that Phil-Shrek's little friend was getting rather excited as he advanced closer. Although Phil's little friend was quite far from little in Dan's opinion. He wasn't the only one getting riled up though, Phil-Shrek made Dan more erect that Donald Trump was at the prospect of boning his daughter
Phil pulled open the draw in his bedside table, Dan rolled over to watch as Phil-Shrek lifted a sleepy Pengu from the cardboard box that they kept him in. Pengu was gently placed on the bed. He then glared at D-hizzle.
"hands and knees." he announced sternly. Dan did as he was told, breathing heavier in anticipation. The thought of Pengu being inside him again was something Dan was very passionate about, more passionate than Donald Trump is about removing Black people from the US.
Pengu screeched as his feet were taken from under him by Shrek. Dan turned his head at the noise and saw the penguin being held upside down by Phil as he stared into Dan soul with wide white eyes and a yellow grin. Phil's hand launched at Dan's head pushing him face down into the pillows. Dan couldn't see what was happening but he could certainly feel it. He recognised the feel of Pengu's body stretching him open. He gripped the sheets tightly until his knuckles turned whiter than the heavens he would never see. He felt Pengu's beak graze his prostate as he sighed, how were Shrek and Phil always able to make him feel so good?
"Ah-oh, shit!" Pengu was now fully inside of him. But Shrek-Phil kept pushing in. Dan had had a lot of stuff in his ass over the years, but he's never had something as large as Shrek's hand. Dan felt blessed to have something as large and beautiful as this green hand with sharp, chipped, yellow fingernails inside of him. Dan was in great pain but was so aroused at the same time. The only grease on Shrek's hand to use as lube was onion juice, swamp water and Penguin waste, it seemed Pengu shat himself when he saw Phil, and now it was inside of Dan, coating his walls as he clenched around Shrek's great fist.
"Ah!" Dan nearly shouted when he felt Shrek's nail rupturing his insides. Dan's blood drenched Pengu's tail feathers and covered Phil's hand. Dan gasped as he felt Phil licking around his hole to lap up the blood.
"Mmm, hey dude, you think you could take my fat schlong too? No homo." Dan could only nod in response as he was so blissed out from the feelings in his ass as Shrek-Phil slowly moved his hand back and forth at the elbow.
"Put it in materino!" Dan begged.
Then Dan felt it. He suddenly realised what the tentacles were for. He glanced down. His eyes went wide. His jaw went slack. He salivated slightly at the sight. Shrek's third leg wasn't just large, it was enormous, and that wasn't even the best bit. As Phil's shlong slithered up towards his chest, Dan could feel the slick sticky suction cups that lined the green tentacle Phil had for a dick. Dan was a bit of a weeb, he was a sucker for tentacle porn.
"Oh God, no homo dude" Dan breathed as one of the suckers pulled at his nipple. The tentacle continued to move upwards and wrapped once around Dan's neck, making him slightly lightheaded.
"Don't bite bro, yeah?" Phil said in his beautiful deep voice with Shrek's accent. The tip of the tentacle entered Dan's mouth and he swallowed and licked it gladly, still rutting into the sensation of the small animal in his ass. Dan stopped himself from gagging as Phil's green fuck stick slipped into his oesophagus,he was more turned on by that tentacle dick than David Cameron is by the smell of bacon. Phil moaned at the feeling of Dan's throat trying to swallow him further down.
Dan was being penetrated from both ends and it was then he knew he had the best bro in the world. No homo, but he found this quite shrexy, he could faintly hear Pengu shrieking inside of him, Phil's cock going through his intestines, Dan loved the pain. Phil's eshrekt dick was now as far as it could go, blocked by Pengu's head. He could feel everything moving and three things at once he couldn't take it. His dong was dripping with precum, his body coated in sweat from everything Shrek-Phil was doing, every noise he made was a moan of bliss.
"Mhmm Ohhoh, I'm- I'm gonna cum" he yelled breathily around Phil's fat tentacle. Then Phil's free hand spanked his ass so a giant red mark immediately appeared.
"Don't you dare, Danny you need to be able to take more than this dude" Dan frantically shook his head as he could feel himself building up to his high, fucking himself on Phil's giant green hand holding onto Pengu.
"Don't be ridonkulous Dan!" Phil began, his tentacle rubbing Dan's prostate "It isn't ogre yet."
Snap.
Dan heard the bone breaking flesh tearing sound and slowed his rhythm for a second. Looking around, Shrek was staring at Dan's ass with a manic grin on his face.
"Ah!" Dan's muffled scream as he felt sudden fast squirming within him.
He felt his organs moving, a great pain he hadn't felt since the ants and burning oil from the incident with the chair. But it wasn't his skin that hurt. It was the entire inside of his torso. He screamed around his senpais sausage. He could feel his own blood, his heart was erratic, he couldn't even breathe. As the suckers on the tentacle went back up his intestines it began to pull them with it. His digestive system curling in on itself trying to leave though his stomach to escape their sinning host. It burnt, the hydrochloric acid in his stomach as his intestines were pulled through it. He cried manly tears as Phil licked them from his face. As the tentacle went higher, so did his intestines and oesophagus, stuck to the Phil's meat, he could taste his blood at the back of his throat, it was so hot, he would've cum if he weren't in excruciating pain.
This must be what it feels like to be hamster.
Phil spoke gently in his voice that added layers to the shreksual tension.
"Better out than in-" Phil-Shrek began.
Dan choked as he felt a large lump being removed from his throat, as he gagged, Pengu's poor ripped, bloody, decapitated head erupted from Dan's mouth.
"- I always say." Phil grinned and pulled Dan backwards, kissing the blood from his lips and some of the vomit that followed.
"No homo, bro." says Phil-Shrek as he plunges his monster cock into Dan's rectum.
"Actually..." says Dan, drawing his final breath. "After tonight's events, I have concluded that I am indeed bishrekual."
"Does that make it gay?" Phil questions himself as he retracts his succulent, pulsating meat from Dan's corpse.