AN: Hi all, another day, another chapter cut short due to smut. Remember, if you want to reach my AO3 account via the link in my profile, first you click the link, then it'll likely say "Oops, we can't find that page on ff . net! But the site will still be there at the bottom, just copy starting at the "archiveofourown" all the way thru the end and paste into the address bar. Or alternately, just search Unstoppablei on Archive of our Own and you'll find this story. This darn website does like to make it difficult to leave, amiright? So frustrating.

Now that I want to bang my head against a wall, let's move on with the story!

Chapter 24: Luck

"Is it really okay for us to just be… taking off like this?"

They were riding side by side down one of the winding paths that led out of the Frostback mountains, just the two of them. Errol was sure that Leliana's scouts were hidden in the woods, but she couldn't spot them. She liked it, this air of anonymity. Maybe at some point they'd actually be able to slip away and be truly alone.

"Technically? I'm not sure I should answer that question," Cullen said, and smiled that half-smile at her that made her heart flutter like a teenager with a crush. He was dressed in light armor and a cloak that could almost pass as normal clothing if one didn't look too closely, his breastplate and mantle gone, sword still at his side. "But with Corypheus' forces vanished, we are helpless to do little more than wait for news or until Morrigan's arrival. Leliana was not happy, but considering you do enough traipsing about the countryside closing rifts, I was able to convince her this one small side trip was warranted."

"Traipsing? That's what I do?" she asked, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I didn't mean—"

Errol stopped him by laughing. "You're very easy to fluster."

He blushed. "And you take far too much advantage of that fact."

"I like to see you blush." She canted her horse towards his so that they were nearly touching and lowered her voice. "So bashful in the light of day, and yet in bed you command me as forcefully as you do your troops."

He raised an eyebrow at her, his lips curling into a lazy smirk. "You don't seem to have any objections."

"No no, just remarking on the dichotomy. You're a very interesting person, you know. I rather like you."

"Rather like…" Cullen said disbelievingly. "Yes, well, I rather like you too. One might even say I'm fond."

"Oooo, fond, now you're getting saucy."

He merely shook his head, refusing to rise to her bait. Errol bit her lip to hide her grin. "So where are we going, anyway? Are you allowed to tell me or is it a secret?"

"To a small town by Honnleath, near where I grew up," he said. "It's not much, but it's quiet. We shouldn't be bothered there, and the hills are quite lovely."

"Sounds perfect," Errol said, tipping her head back to take in the sun as it broke through the clouds. "Baby Cullen. Now that's something I wish I could have seen."

"You don't. I was too cocky for my own good and thought I knew everything."

"I think that's called being a kid."

He laughed quietly. "I suppose you're right. Still, I was so eager to join the templars, to prove myself a man. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I hadn't." He sounded wistful, but conflicted.

Errol touched his arm. "You can't change the past, Cullen. And no matter what happened then, you wouldn't be here now, with me."

He looked at her and his eyes softened. "No, I wouldn't," he said. "And I wouldn't change that for anything."

Words bubbled up inside of her but she swallowed them down until they were just a rattling ache in her lungs. "Should we move a little faster? I think the horses are restless."

It was many long hours before they tied their horses to a tree and he led her down a winding path to a quiet, isolated dock. It was a cloudy day, cool but not cold, and the water that swirled beneath their feet was clear and spotted with water lilies. It was absolutely silent except for the shuffle of water against wood and wind, and the air smelled like sweet grass.

"It's beautiful," Errol said in a hushed voice. "Where are we?"

"Honnleath is just a few miles away," he said, looking around fondly. "This place was always quiet."

"We're safe, right?"

He raised his eyebrows. "As we can be, yes. This area has remained relatively untouched by the fighting."

Errol grinned. "Good." She tugged his hand down until they were both sitting, and started working on the clasps of her boots. "Did you come here often?"

He watched her pull her first boot off out of the corner of his eye. "I loved my siblings, but they were very loud. I would come here to clear my head. Of course, they always found me eventually."

Her other boot came off. She balled her socks up inside of them and set them aside, then rolled her pants up and dipped her feet in the cool water. "You were happy here."

Cullen settled against the post and turned his full attention on her as she swirled her feet around. "I was. I still am."

"The water feels great," she said, then nudged him. "You should try it."

"I…" he started. "I'm not sure it's—"

"Appropriate?" Errol asked, raising her eyebrows. She raised her feet out of the water and wiggled her toes. "You do have the strangest ideas about what's appropriate. Live a little."

Cullen sighed, then tugged off his boots and socks and pushed up his trousers. He hissed slightly as his feet came into contact with the water. "It's cold!"

"Did you ever swim in it, as a child?"

His eyes widened. "You're not suggesting—"

Errol laughed and shook her head. "It's just a question."

"Ah," he said, and relaxed. "Yes, in the summer. It was my own private place." He shifted so that he was now leaning against her, their toes touching. "This is quite nice."

"Master of the understatement, my Cullen," Errol said, sighing happily and resting her head on his shoulder. "You do know that you make me very happy, right? It's like the rest of the world is this swirling void of madness, but with you it's perfect calm, and I feel like I can breathe again."

"I know exactly what you mean," he said. "For many years my life was nothing but darkness and chaos, chains I could not break. You're the first thing that's made sense to me in a long time." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I packed a picnic, you know, and we have a room waiting for us at the inn. It's not much of a respite, but it's the best we can do at the moment. Perhaps when the war is over…"

Errol snuggled closer to him and laced her fingers in his. "Thank you for bringing me here," she said, breathing in the cool, fresh air. "I needed this. Skyhold… sometimes I wish we could just make a break for it, head for the hills, never to be seen again. But, since we can't do that, a picnic is great."

He was quiet for a moment, staring out at the lake and thumbing something in his free hand. "The last time I was here was the day I left for templar training," he said contemplatively. "My brother gave me this."

Errol looked down to see a coin in his palm. It was worn, the face on the front nearly smooth, as if it had been carried in a pocket and worried over by restless fingers for many years.

"It just happened to be in his pocket but he said it was for luck," Cullen continued, tilting it slightly so that it caught the light. "Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our faith should see us through."

"What a rule breaker," Errol teased, bumping his shoulder carefully so as not to disturb the coin.

"Until several years ago I was very good at following rules," he said ruefully. "Most of the time. This was the only thing I took from Ferelden that the templars didn't give me." He looked at it for a long moment, then turned over her palm and pressed the coin into it. "Humor me."

Errol's fingers instinctively curled around the weathered coin. "Cullen—"

"You don't know what you'll face before the end," he said, his voice suddenly, heartbreakingly earnest. "This can't hurt."

This would be the perfect time. It should be easy to say, after all they'd been through. Just three little words. Errol felt them on her lips like a warm breeze. I love you. She felt them behind her teeth, struggling to get by. I love you. I love you. I love you, please say you love me too.

She pressed the coin to her heart and said, "Cullen, I— I'll keep it safe."

"Good," he said, drawing her in for a kiss, their wet feet tangled together. "I know it's foolish, but I'm glad."

He kissed her sweetly, and Errol kissed him back, letting her tongue say all of the things she was too afraid to.

When they broke apart he nuzzled her gently, his forehead pressed against hers. "Come," he said in a throaty voice. "We have a picnic, and you— you must be famished. Then there is the inn, and—" He broke off and dragged his teeth along the delicate skin just underneath her jaw, where her pulse jumped eagerly.

"Y—yes," Errol stuttered, blushing as he smirked and stood, holding out his hand to her.

Later, she thought. Later I'll be brave enough to tell him.

Errol woke to him thrashing in his sleep, his brow furrowed and beaded with sweat. "No," he breathed, his fists clenching and unclenching, his whole body taut as if to strike. "No, stay away, it's not real, it's not—"

"Cullen," Errol said, shaking him, but he didn't seem to feel her. She shook him harder. "Cullen, love, wake up!"

He opened his eyes with a gasp and half sat up. For one long moment he stared at her like he didn't know who she was, then his vision cleared and he relaxed, sinking back onto the bedsheets.

"Another nightmare," Errol said sympathetically, wiping sweat-slicked hair away from his forehead. Cullen nodded as he tried to control his breathing.

"A particularly bad one. I'm sorry for waking you."

"Don't apologize. I'm just glad I was here to snap you out of it."

He looked at her, one hand coming up to trace the curve of her face. "I should be used to it by now." He paused. "Wait, was I still dreaming or did you just call me 'love'?"

Errol was suddenly fascinated by the threads in the sheets. "Oh, well, I…" She stared hard at the dresser beyond him. "Is this really the best time to be having this— I mean— I—"

"Errol," he said, sifting his fingers through her hair to gently turn her face back toward his. His eyes were hopeful. "Can you— I mean, do you—"

She tried biting her lip but the words tumbled out anyway, unbidden. "I love you," she said, almost babbling. "I know you just had a nightmare and it's not the most romantic time to say it or anything but you asked and I—"

Cullen pulled her head down at the same time that he leaned up, wrapping his free arm around her as he kissed her with a need that took her breath away. "I love you," he said when they broke apart, resting his forehead on hers, his breath ragged. "I have for so long. I should have told you every day since the moment I met you."

"The moment?" she said, quirking her eyebrow upward. He laughed softly.

"Well, maybe not the moment, but soon after, I assure you."

Errol nuzzled against him, breathing him in. He still smelled like sweat, the usually pleasant scent tinged with fear. She ran a calming hand down his side. "So… maybe this isn't the best time…"

"Maybe not the best thing to say after you just declared your love for me," he said. Errol smacked him lightly on the ass.

"Cheeky. But I'm serious. These nightmares—"

Cullen groaned and buried his head in her neck, nipping at her, his hands wandering. "Can't we forget about them and move on to more… pleasant diversions, my love?"

Errol tried to ignore the thrill his words and hands were igniting in her. "Mmmm, Cullen, I'm serious."

"So am I," he murmured, his teeth worrying her earlobe as his fingers found her nipple. "And quite awake now, too."

"I think—" Errol squirmed, the gathering heat between her thighs quickly robbing her of coherent thought. "I think I might be able to stop them."

"Hmm?" he asked, raising his head to look at her, his eyes foggy. "Stop what?"

"The nightmares."

He pulled away slightly, the crease returning to his eyebrows. "That's not— how, exactly, would you intend to do that?"

Errol took a deep breath. "You know that Solas and I trained extensively in the Fade, every night for months—"

Cullen rolled on his back and closed his eyes. "And thank you for bringing that name into our bedroom."

She plowed on. "I know you experience terrible things in the Fade, but I know my way around it very, very well. I could create a safe place for you, for us, to guide you away from the nightmares."

Cullen opened his eyes and looked at her seriously. "Errol, I know that you mean well, but how could I trust anything in the Fade? How could I ever trust it was even you and not a demon? I would prefer the nightmares to a false dream that could strip me of my mind."

"I'd teach you how to learn what is real and not, and give you a way out, a way to wake up whenever you want, whenever you feel uneasy. And I know of a foolproof way to prove whether or not you're in the Fade. Anything you need to make you comfortable, I'll do."

He rubbed his chin. "I don't know, it's all so— I've always been taught, I've always known, not to trust the Fade."

"You've also known not to trust spirits and you're in love with one," she said, trying to sound teasing. He sighed and ran his fingers through her hair.

"I suppose if anyone could protect me in the Fade it's you," he said. "And it would be a blessing to sleep peacefully for once."

"Good," Errol said, settling in beside him, her head cradled in the nook between his shoulder and chest, her arm across his stomach. "Now close your eyes and relax. I'll guide you back into sleep."

"Now?" he asked, sounding almost petulant.

"It is the middle of the night," she reminded him, sounding sleepy. "You need your rest. We'll talk more in the Fade."

"But—"

"Sleep, my love," she murmured, nestling against him. "I'm here."

Cullen grumbled a bit more, something too low for her to hear, then finally gave up, curling his arms around her and letting his body relax muscle by muscle. When his breath started to even out Errol tentatively reached with her magic and pulled him under with her, guiding his consciousness to wherever it felt safest, and they both drifted off to sleep.

Cullen opens his eyes and blinks, the soft daylight filtering in through the ceiling and washing over his body. It is warm and carries with it the scent of the mountain air and the faint sound of birdsong.

He knows it's not real though - after all of these years he can tell when he's dreaming. Something is always off, a little warped, tinged green at the edges, the angles not quite ninety degrees, the air too still. He steels himself. This is usually the part where it turns horrible, blood running down the walls, screams ripped from throats, explosions, violence, death.

"Really? Your room above your office?"

She's there next to him, in the same position they fell asleep in. He blinks. "You're—this— is it really you?" he asks cautiously.

Errol takes his hand. She feels real enough. "This is your safe space," she says. "Nothing bad can happen to you here. You can wake at any time if you don't trust me. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

He lets out a long breath, then frowns. "What's wrong with my room?"

Errol laughs and rests her head on her fist, facing him. She's still naked and it's distracting. "You could have chosen anywhere - a forest glen, a palace, a peaceful waterfall, hell my room is nicer. You even kept the huge hole in the roof."

"I like the hole. It lets in the fresh air," he complains. She snorts.

"And the snow, and the rain—"

He leans in and kisses her, lightning fast. "You're definitely still you," he says, allowing his body to relax. "So… no nightmares?"

"No nightmares," she says. "Even if I'm not here, think of this place, or, once we create other safe places, think of those, and you'll be there. The nightmares and demons can't reach you in the places I've carved out."

"Thank the Maker," he breathes. "I haven't slept a full night in ten years."

"I know," she says, smoothing his brow with her thumb. "I'm sorry, I should have brought this up sooner—"

He catches her hand and kisses her palm. "Love, I wouldn't have accepted your help sooner. I distrusted all things to do with the Fade. I wouldn't have accepted anyone's help."

"Why now?" she murmurs, and he tugs on her hand so that she topples over with a squeal, landing on top of him.

"You know why," he says throatily, his lips grazing hers. "Because I love you, more than I've ever loved anything, and I trust you completely."

"Hmm, that's a lot to live up to," she says, smiling against his mouth. "I'll have to keep being really good." She rolls off of him, deftly avoiding his hands. "And for now that means no sex in the Fade. Until you come to recognize the signs of this safe space, the rules, me, I don't need you having any doubts that I might be a desire demon."

In a moment she has clothes on again, a simple set of pajamas. So does he. He sighs. "You're right. I show my own weakness."

"It's not weak to want to—" She waggles her eyebrows with innuendo—"with the woman you love. We'll get to it. Just not now. Wait until morning. Now. Check this out."

She holds up something. "Do you know what this is?"

He frowns at her and swings his legs off the side of the bed. "A spinning top? It's a child's toy."

"It's a trick I learned from a story in my world, and I realized it has applications in the Fade." She puts the toy down on the wooden floor and spins it. Cullen watches it, and realizes after a long moment that it doesn't wobble, and doesn't stop spinning, just moves with perfect precision on and on forever.

"Keep one with you at all times," Errol says. "If you're ever afraid you're in the Fade, if you're ever not sure what is real, use this. If it topples, you're in reality. If not, you're in the Fade."

"That's incredible," he says, his eyes still on the perpetually spinning top. "No one has ever mentioned anything like this. Your world doesn't even have a Fade, how is this a story?"

Errol shrugs. "It's a story about dreamers, and we're imaginative. I thought of it once and decided to try it out. Blackwall carved it for me, before…"

She scoops up the top and hands it to him. "I'll give you the real one when we wake up. What would you like to do now?"

He rolls the small wooden piece over in his hands. "Play chess?" he says. "I still don't trust the Fade enough to do much more than be calm and still in it. For the moment, we could talk, and it would allow me to… clear my head until morning comes."

Errol pulls a chess board from under the bed and places it on the mattress. "I'm getting better, you know," she says, sitting cross-legged across from him.

He smiles, and feels lighter than he has in a long time. "You're really, really not."

The return journey was relaxing, despite the many hours on horseback. Errol and Cullen kept their mounts close, and conversation flowed easily, as if the last of their barriers had fallen away now that they'd finally said what they'd been holding back for so long. However, when they stepped over Skyhold's threshold they were met with a flurry of activity and a sense of impending dread that pushed all other thoughts aside.

Morrigan had arrived.