Weeeelcome back.
RARE2000: A continuation until I can end the epilogue comfortably.
Rakjo: Giggidy gone for good.
haywireseagull: More fluffy waifu once the traveling band gets back to Konoha.
Guisniperman: Anna is there, she's mentioned in passing a lot, along with the Crestfallen Warrior, as the two of them were at Firelink at the time of the exodus. No Rhea of Thorolund, as Menma never went to the Catacombs.
Loyaltothelegion: They would be but think about it this way, Gwyn's soul was reflected in the Silver Knights, either due to their proximity during the advent of fire, or some other factor. So as Gwyn became crispier they became less and less lucid to the world around them. Give 'em a bit of time, it'll come up.
Start!
"So, exposition time?" Questioned the now normal sized Lord of Dark, looked to Jiraiya who already had a notepad out.
"Go on." The Sannin said with a straight face.
Menma rolled his eyes and nudged Solaire, "You might find this interesting as well." He commented garnering the bright man's attention. Turning to keep his eyes on the path ahead of him Menma began, "So, in Lordran, the place I ended up, power could be increased with the gathering of souls. Now when I say souls I mean it in a semi-literal sense, the souls there have less tangible meaning like, Solaire here doesn't have a soul in the sense that you may perceive old man, he has thousands of souls all stored within his body. Think of it like our replacement for Chakra." That little comparison did make a few lights in the old Sannin's head turn on so Menma figured it made sense.
"Then there's magic, and hexes, and miracles but that in itself is quite the kettle of fish." Added the Warrior of Sunlight. Menma nodded and sighed softly, that would be a fucking explanation and a half.
"So basically the more power one collects the more their body has to grow in order to accommodate it, I'm an exception to this rule but more on that later. Anyway, so whilst I was in Lordran I cut my way through about three quarters of the entire... country? And made my way up to the 'City of the Gods' Anor Londo. Don't give me that look I'm a Lord I can shit-talk all I want." Menma cut Solaire off quickly with a cheeky grin, the Sunbro shook his head in amusement.
"So what's a Lord exactly, you bring it up at home a lot." Sasuke said idly, trying to appear uninterested.
"A Lord is one who was there at the Advent of Fire, alright infodump incoming, the Advent of Fire was essentially when the cycle of light, life and true death began in the world at the literal lighting of the First Flame the Lords found their Souls, the souls that gave them individuality, Lord Souls and those of more powerful beings have more tangible traits than the runofthemill souls you humans would have. Gwyn the Lord of Sunlight, the Witch of Izalith and her Daughters of Chaos and Nito, First of the Dead. But there was one more person there. And one more great soul to be had." A black sprite appeared in his hand, a humanity that seemed to suck in the light itself with how supremely black it was.
"Is that it?" Sasuke questioned, looking at the megre black sprite with skepticism. "Doesn't seem that impressive."
"No, this is a Humanity sprite. The Dark Soul was taken up by the Furtive Pygmy who may or may not have ended up being a giant beast filled with wild Dark power that I may or may not have eaten in order to attain half the power I have now." Menma smiled brightly whislt Sasuke looked like he'd just been charged by a bull.
"This is gonna take a lot longer than I thought, I really only just realised how long this story has gotten." Admitted Menma, tapping his chin in thought.
Muuuuch Later
"And that's how I fucked a goddess and failed a father." Menma finished the story by draining half a sake bottle, "Pointless." He muttered in derision.
Jiraiya shook his head and pat the younger man's shoulder, "You'll be alright kiddo."
"Yeah, probably." Menma said with a shrug, "Why am I drinking this?" Questioned the Dark Lord as he offered it to the Sage who took it, "Alcohol is pointless, my bodies made of the Dark Soul, food is probably just as pointless but I like food." He rambled almost mutely, shaking his head, "Anyway, getting off that dreary topic, Sasuke how are you?"
"...Good..." Answered the boy, Menma nodded.
Solaire struck up a conversation with Jiraiya about the woman they were seeking, looking to turn the mood elsewhere, Jiraiya almost glowed at the man, "Tsunade well she's a real firebrand I'll tell ya that, last of the Senju but try to avoid bringing that up. She and I actually kinda grew up together, we were on the same team from graduation to out early thirties, went through war with that woman. The two of us and Orochimaru..." His expression darkened slightly at that, Sasuke reflexively touched his neck, Menma peered down the boys high collar to see a black marking.
Whilst the Sunlight Warrior and the Toad Sage were talking Menma shifted the group order so Solaire stood aside the Sannin and he was next to the moody youth, "Curse Seal?" He asked quietly.
Sasuke looked at him and glared, Menma didn't even blink. "I've seen them before, Anko Mitarashi, I'm sure you've heard of her-"
"She was a proctor in the chunin exam." Sasuke said sullenly, the memory of the odd blood fetishist surfacing in his mind.
"Honestly not where I would think you'd have heard of her." Admitted the Dark Lord absently but shrugged, "Regardless. C'mere." Menma ordered grabbing the boys shoulder and tugging him close, moving his shirt enough, a dark tendril of smoke smacked at Sasuke's hand stopping him from interrupting, "Who the fuck sealed this? It's atrocious!" Snapped Menma, garnering Jiraiya's attention.
"Who sealed what?" Questioned the old man.
"Sasuke's got a love bite from Orochimaru. Someone tried to seal it but it is a pretty piss poor attempt. Here look." At this point Sasuke may as well have been a ragdoll as he was passed about the group.
No.
Not like that.
You fucking pervert.
Inspecting the seal Jiraiya could deduce that there was still a chakra pathway opened, allowing the Curse Mark to do as it pleased, just with a slight impediment. "So we're dealing with this. We'll stay in town for the night, this'll hurt Sasuke, but trust me it'll be worth it in the long run." Jiraiya assured, Sasuke looked more pale than usual when the older man began dragging him away.
"Oh my..." Solaire said, a hand on his helm where his mouth would usually be.
"I know right. What kind of newbie was so slack to try a seal like that?" Agreed Menma, crossing his arms.
"Oh no, not that. I was merely thinking how tawdry it looks having an older man pulling a young boy through town, as two other men look on." Solaire said with a chuckle.
Menma blinked for a moment before narrowing his gaze, "Hmm. Yes I suppose. We should probably go elsewhere for the time, it might look less suspicious. Up for a feed?"
"That would be quite lovely."
Nearby
A pair of men donned in black cloaks with straw hats atop their heads were watching the pair of tall men walk towards the nearest roadside food stand, "Kisame. Zetsu said that the Kyuubi would be on this mission yes?" Asked the smaller of the two, the larger lifted his hat revealing the lower half of his face.
A jaw filled with sharp teeth and blue shin grinned in seeming perpetuity. "Just so, Itachi-san, but wasn't that boy your brother? Does this make it awkward for you?" Kisame goaded.
Itatchi Uchiha, a fair skinned, black haired man with coal black eyes sighed into his cup of tea. "No. If he tries to seek some form of vengeance I'll just finish what I started all those years ago."
"Oho! You're a scary guy, Itachi-san." Kisame's grin didn't falter in the slightest.
"Let's just go." He mumbled, standing to his feet he left the restaurant and made his way towards the stand. Kisame grabbing the large bandaged object to his right, slinging over his shoulder, followed closely, eager for conflict.
Food Stand
"My oh my these noodles are quiet splendid." Said Solaire, helmet off for a goddamn change. A handsome man approaching his mid thirties perhaps, shining blue-grey eyes and a short, golden blonde hair that was brushed and combed impeccably.
Menma was impressed his didn't have mad helmet hair.
"Yeah, they're alright. I dunno I've never found them that filling." Menma commented with a shrug before looking up at the chef who looking more than a little affronted, "No slight against you good sir, they're wonderful tasting, I merely say in general noodles are not the densest of meals." The chef understood this but still took it more personally than most would expect from a grown ass man.
A hand touched Menma's shoulder and he turned abruptly to see a pair of familiar red eyes. "Weasel. Well well well, it has been too long." The Dark Lord greeted with a smirk, Itatchi didn't flinch as his monotone voice sounded.
"Come with us, Menma-kun. We have a proposition for you." Seeing that this could sour the mood quite abruptly he nudged Solaire.
"I'll be back in a bit, go to Jiraiya after you're done." He threw a few gold coins onto the stands counter and left the Sunbro to his meal. Solaire blinked owlishly as his friend began walking away with a pair of suspicious looking warriors.
"That's not jolly cooperation at all. Well, I will finish this meal and join soon, my friend." Miss out on a good fight by his friends side? Preposterous.
Field
Menma stood a few feet away from Kisame and Itachi, though Kisame was loathe to admit the way the tall man kept staring at the hilt peaking over his shoulder was slightly disconcerting.
"Menma-kun, it's been too long. How are you?" Began Itachi, ever the diplomat.
"Good, bad. A bit of both really. And you? I must say your new outfit is quite nice." Menma tugged at the abyssal robe he was garbed in and smirked slightly, "I suppose I could do with a little more colour."
"Indeed. You look healthier than you were though, and that is good. I'd hate to see a friend be taken by illness." The Uchiha traitor said. Kisame rose a brow, he wasn't exactly sure what the point of this conversation was.
"It wouldn't be the best. Colour me a curious caterpillar though, Itachi. To what end have you called me out here? I doubt it's a simply friendly reunion. You wouldn't need big a fugly there to do that." Goaded the young, comparatively, Lord.
"My dear, what are you doing? These boys ooze trouble, can't you simply dispatch them?" Asked Quela, watching on intently.
"Of course I could, and will. But nothing's wrong with having a little chat, combat is more ceremony and gasbagging than in Lordran, here. Rest assure though my love, you'll get your conflict."
"-If you come with us we'll make sure the extraction is somewhat painless." Finished Itachi. Menma blinked.
"Extraction...?"
"So what'll it be Kyuubi?" Kisame asked, grinning widely. "Please say you'll resist."
"Oh now it makes sense. Yeah no." Menma drew the Chaos Edge from its sheath and summoned up Behemoth. "I'd rather not, but I will oblige you. Come at me."
And so Kisame did, lunging with his giant, scaled sword. Bandages being torn asunder as the fish man created the fray. Menma struck the giant blade with Behemoth, Kisame's eyes widened at the force and speed of the strike and had to reinforce his arm with chakra lest the bone break.
The two stood for a few moments as Kisame resized his foe, "What the hell was that attack? I could feel it in my bones." The Tailless Tailed Beast thought with shock, though his internal monologue was interrupted as once more the Dark Lord struck with the giant sword in his left hand.
Itachi felt that it would be best to end this quickly, flicking through hand signs he formed a ring around his mouth, "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" A large fireball shot forth, directly to the Dark Lord's side, only for a large silver form to appear before it and bat it away. Dispersing the flames.
Silver-grey eyes stared bloody murder at Itachi, a giant wolf stood between him and his target. "Ah, Sif darling. I was wondering where you got off to." Menma said Idly as Master and Wolf stood back to back, figuratively speaking, "He's weak on his right side, and slows down after each consecutive dodge, spare the head." The Great Grey Wolf barked an affirmative as she tore her sword free, an eerie blue glow encompassed the blade.
Itachi's eyes widened in shock, as did Kisame though the fish man had no time to speak as once more the giant blade came towards him, Kisame attempted to parry the strike, make it a glancing blow. It seemed the movement tilted abruptly before it struck and hit Samehada in the centre of its mass, swinging Kisame's arm back so far it dislocated, the shark man let out a choked gasp as the lava saturated form of Chaos Edge buried itself into his chest, leaking hot magma onto his internal organs.
Sif swiped at Itachi, the man retreated back only to have to dodge once more as a bolt of golden lightning struck next to his feet, then again as the giant wolf slashed again, this time catching Itachi's coat side, revealing the mesh top beneath, the sound of clanking metal reached Itachi's ears, and the sound of crackling electricity.
"Fall knave!" Ordered Solaire as he struck forth with his Sunlight Straight Sword, Itachi parried with a kunai, but couldn't really do anything with that quick maneuver as he had to dodge again to avoid Sif, Solaire rolled onto his back and stood up with agility a man in such heavy chainmail shouldn't really have.
"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" Another fireball, followed by several dozen Kunai from his sleeves, Solaire's eyes widened as he braced behind his shield, a majority of the damage being absorbed by it, unfortunately the fireball detonated and then the orb of flames exploded enough to break his guard, and his torso was filled with deadly blades, Sif lunged at Itachi giving Solaire more than enough time to down some sunny-d, his wounds mending after two mouthfuls, he quickly slipped the empty flask into his pouch and pressed the attack by uttering a small chant under his breath, clutching his talisman tightly, raising his arm and released the great, golden bolt that is the Sunlight Spear struck fast and true, going right through the unprepared Itachi, as Sif had more than kept him occupied.
The best Itachi could do was activate his Mangekyou Sharingan and attempt to twist his body just enough so that the attack was no longer fatal. Taking the damage to his shoulder Itachi saw the world slowly enough to see the exact moment his partner was killed with a blade of lava?
What had Menma-kun been doing?
Watching the now horned man headbutt the beastly blue, caving in his skull, was more than enough to tell Itachi he'd fucked up. Menma-kun had grown strong, much stronger than he could have ever anticipated. Perhaps he could leave Madara, and Pein to him?
The weightlessness that came with being cut in half was odd. The unbearable pain tore through Itachi's nerve endings, and then his brain stalled as his lower half stopped responding. The last thing Itachi Uchiha saw before the light fully faded from his eyes was the haunting gaze of a snarling, giant wolf.
Menma sealed away Behemoth, and sheathed Chaos Edge. The Dark Lord knelt down to collect the quivering blade that attempted to bite at him, spears rapidly going through his hand, and draining what it thought was blood.
It was humanity.
It began writhing in agony for a few moments before settling down.
"Yeah that goddamn right you vagina faced sword-thing." Samehada whimpered at the name calling, "I'm sorry baby I love you." He kissed it before sealing it away, throwing an orb of blue flames over his shoulder, the 'egg' of magma within the centre melting Kisame's body down to muck, he wasn't about to fuck with Ninja's reviving outta nowhere.
Walking under Sif, making the wolf look at him curiously before licking the side of his head, he knelt before Itachi's corpse. "I'm pretty impressed, Solaire. I didn't think you'd have much of a chance against someone like Itachi. He was the best of his age group... our age group technically. I dunno." Mumbled Menma as he wasn't really sure how it worked, technically he and Itachi were in the same generation, both being about 3-4 years older than their respective brothers, but Menma didn't even take up training until he was 10, by which time Itachi was breaking all kind of records.
"Oh? It didn't seem that much more ridiculous to the number giant demons, godlike figures and abominations I've fought before, and I also had the assistance of fair maiden Sif." He joked lightly, sheathing his sword but flinching when his friend plucked the eyes from the head of their downed foe, somewhat out of reflex, somewhat out of surprise.
The two eyes were swallowed up by the abyss that was Menma's body. His own eyes seemingly vanished into the back of his skull for a moment before they returned, instead of the gold they were a dusky orange colour with the black tomoe within. Because sunset orange was a beautiful colour. Unlike Naruto's fascination with fucking neon orange.
Taking in the world around him for a moment he observed the finer details of it all and smiled to himself. "I was always envious of their bloodline. Who woulda thought this new body was essentially a giant petri dish of consumption. Good to know." Mused the Dark Lord, turning to Solaire who was slightly entranced by the new eyes in his friends head.
"Shall we away?" Asked the Uzumaki, gesturing in the direction of town with one hand, and holding the head of the Uchiha traitor with the other.
"We shall." Sif barked an affirmative and shook herself out happily.
End Of Chapter
If you liked it, lemme know. If you didn't, summon the almost spirits of self indulgence to reap vengeance on your mild discontent. If you've been playing as my DB Xenoverse as I have and fantasizing about SS4, summon spirit of self indulgence to strike down the dickheads who think because it's 'Non-cannon' makes it less badass.
Also, and I say this with hesitance but then again fuck it, caution to the wind I say. I have a if you wanna, go ahead.
Raxychaz
Because for some reason links aren't working from my profile.
Raxychaz!