"Not much on," said Joker, flipping channels in the Rec Room. "How can there be a hundred channels and nothing on any of 'em?"
"Just put on the news or something," said Harley. "Feel kinda outta touch with the world, not that that's unusual for me."
"The news ain't gonna be very romantic," muttered Joker. "Here, let's try one of those reality dancing shows. It'll be a compromise between my idea and Tetchy's idea."
He sat down on the sofa next to her, not paying the slightest bit of attention to what was on screen. A few minutes passed before Joker finally made his move. He yawned, stretching his arms up and letting one fall around her shoulder.
Harley grinned, wondering if she should mock him for trying such an old and predictable move. But instead she just drew closer, cuddling against him as she kept her eyes on the screen. Joker beamed, smiling down at her and feeling glad that his old and predictable move had worked. They sat cuddled together for a long time before Joker finally decided he was going to tell her how he felt. He cleared his throat, about to do just that, when a news bulletin flashed across the screen.
"We interrupt our scheduled programming to bring you urgent news live from Gotham City. Billionaire Bruce Wayne has called an emergency press conference, and a call to action for the people of Gotham against the inmates of Arkham Asylum."
"What?" demanded Harley, sitting bolt upright. The camera focused on Bruce, dressed in some kind of bat costume, surrounded on one side by Dick Grayson in a red, green, and yellow costume, and on the other by Mr. Quinzel.
"People of Gotham City, one of your fellow citizens has been kidnapped by the monsters lurking in Arkham," said Bruce. "This man's daughter," he said, gesturing to Mr. Quinzel. "A beautiful and innocent girl, is currently in the clutches of the most evil and depraved people who have ever lived. For too long has Gotham lived in fear of these monsters, and now at last I am doing something to free you from that terror. I am launching an assault on Arkham Asylum to bring Harleen Quinzel home. Anyone who wants to do their civic duty and follow me is most welcome – just follow the sign of the Bat," he said, unveiling a huge searchlight with a bat symbol on it.
"This signal will be a beacon under which all good people can rally, to unite against the forces of madness and evil that threaten us from that horrible monstrosity of a building. I am marching into Arkham and taking Harley back by whatever means necessary, even if I have to slay every beast in there. Who's with me?"
A great cheer rose up from the surrounding crowd. Harley and Joker just stared at the screen in horror, and then Harley stood up. "I have to stop them," she said. "I have go to talk to my father, and Bruce, and talk them out of this ridiculous idea."
"You think we can't take a band of idiots and some rich twit?" demanded Joker. "I know we're outnumbered and all, but we've got brains and experience on our side. We're all trained fighters – let them come! We'll show 'em why they shouldn't mess with us!"
"My Dad is with them!" said Harley, pointing to the screen. "If he were accidentally hurt in the fight…I don't know what I'd do! And Bruce may be an idiot, but I don't want him to die trying to rescue me! I couldn't live with that kinda guilt! I gotta go back to Gotham and talk them out of this! I'll tell 'em you're not all bad. They'll listen to me."
Joker looked at her. "But if you leave…you won't come back."
"I will," she said. "I promise. You have to trust me."
Joker turned his attention to the wilting rose by the window, which was clearly on its last legs. "You really think…we're not all bad?" he asked, quietly.
"I know you're not," she said.
He looked back up at her. "Then…you gotta go," he said, standing up. "You gotta save them all from making a big mistake. If we're attacked, the boys and Pammie, they'll defend themselves without mercy. You can't let that happen."
He took her hands. "And…you don't have to come back. You're not our prisoner – we have no right to keep you here. You're a free woman, with a mind of her own and a life of her own. I'm not gonna ruin that anymore."
Harley stared at him. "But…the spell…you'll be stuck like this forever if I don't come back."
"There are more important things," he said.
Harley gazed into his eyes. "I will come back," she said firmly, touching his cheek. "I swear."
She felt that strange force come upon her again, the longer she looked at his eyes, and his face, and his lips…
She suddenly hugged him, shutting her eyes tightly. "Thank you," she whispered.
He nodded, stroking her hair gently. "Go," he murmured.
Harley drew away from him, heading off to her room to change. She glanced back once to see Joker looking at the rose, shoulders slumped in resignation. And then she turned away and was gone.
…
"J! What have you done to my guard plant?" demanded Ivy, storming into the Rec Room.
"I moved him," murmured Joker, still slumped over the table with the rose. "Locked him up downstairs."
"Why?" demanded Ivy. "He needs air and sunlight, not some drafty cell!"
"I didn't want him getting in the way," retorted Joker.
"The way of what?" demanded Ivy.
"J, I just heard the front door slam," said Tetch, racing into the room with Crane and Two-Face following him. "Where's Harley?"
"Gone," murmured Joker. "I let her go."
They all stared at him in horror. "You…did what?" gasped Crane. "How...how could you do that?"
"I had to," replied Joker.
"Why?" demanded Crane.
"Because…I love her," he whispered.
"Yes, and if you ever want her to love you in return, you can't let her go!" shouted Tetch. "Now there's no hope! We're all doomed!"
"It doesn't matter," muttered Joker, glaring at the rose. "The stupid spell…doesn't matter. We deserve to look like this, all of us," he said, turning to face them. "We deserve to look like monsters, because that's what we are. And we need to stop lying to ourselves and thinking that can be changed, thinking that someone can come along and just rescue us, or…that any of us can ever be loved. We need to get our heads outta this fantasy crap and just wake up and face reality. We're monsters. And monsters don't get happy endings."
"J, what are you doing?" demanded Two-Face. "J, no!" he shouted, leaping forward to stop him, but it was too late. Joker had seized and crushed the rose in his hand, grinding it into dust.
"There," he muttered. "Now there's no more hope. No more torture, for any of us. This is who we are – a buncha freaks. Better start getting used to it," he said, storming off.
"Pammie, you can do something, right?" asked Two-Face, desperately, as Ivy knelt down, picking up the remains of the rose. "You can bring it back?"
Ivy shook her head slowly. "No. No, I can't. It's magic, and it's gone forever."
Crane sank down on his knees. "Oh God!" he gasped. "Oh God, all these years, and it all ends in disappointment and failure! I should have known, really – what is life but a never-ending series of disappointment and failure? I always knew it was useless to hope."
"J's right," agreed Ivy, slowly. "We're the bad guys. There are no happy endings for us."
Tears came to her eyes and she sobbed, clutching the remains of the rose. Two-Face knelt down beside her, embracing her and shushing her as she cried into his chest.
Tetch had removed his hat, looking out the window at the darkness and rain that poured down in a never-ending torrent. "Would not, could not," he murmured. "Would not, could not, oh, could not join the dance."