"No!" exclaimed Arleen, breaking in on the story suddenly. "No, he can't have destroyed the rose! Now the spell will never be broken! There's no happy ending!"

"Just wait and hear the rest of it, princess…" began Joker.

"No!" she cried, stamping her foot. "You're telling the story wrong, Daddy! It's gotta have a happy ending! You gotta change it! Make him not destroy the rose!"

"Sweetness, just because the spell ain't broken don't mean the ending has gotta be unhappy," said Joker, gently. "Remember what you said your one problem with the movie was? The Beast changing into a handsome prince when Beauty had fallen in love with the Beast? Well, now the Joker ain't gonna change his appearance, and neither are all the others. The man Harley falls in love with is still gonna look like the man she fell in love with, because they didn't break the spell."

"I don't understand," said J.J. "Why wouldn't they wanna break the curse and look normal again?"

"Because it wasn't a curse, J.J.," said Joker. "The enchantress cast a spell on them so they would all be their true selves, even if their true selves weren't very attractive on the outside. And if they ever wanted to get anybody to love them, they gotta first learn to love themselves as they truly are, and stop trying to hide that. So in a way, the only way to break the spell was to realize that they didn't want the spell broken."

"That's confusing, Daddy," said J.J.

"It's called subtext, J.J.," said Joker. "All the great stories have 'em, or so they tell me. Personally I can't figure out what the subtext is behind a guy in a bat costume beating people up night after night, but I'm sure some Lit student somewhere has it figured out."

"So…there's still gonna be a happy ending, Daddy?" asked Arleen, pleadingly. "There's gotta be! There's just gotta!"

"There will be," said Joker, nodding. "But a few more bad things are gonna happen before then. You gonna be ok to cope with them, princess?"

Arleen nodded firmly. "As long as I know everything's gonna be ok in the end, I can cope with anything."

"That's my brave girl," he said, kissing the top of her head. "Now where were we? Oh yeah, well, after Harley left Arkham, she headed for the Bat-signal, which was shining over Gotham from Wayne Manor. She banged on the door, and it was opened a few moments later by Alfred.

"Miss…Quinzel!" he stammered, shocked.

"Is my father here?" she asked. "I need to speak to him and Bruce right away."

"Yes…yes, he is – do come in, miss," said Alfred. "Master Bruce is just drawing up some battle plans in the study."

Harley rolled her eyes as Alfred opened the study door to reveal Bruce and Dick enthusiastically drawing some plans on a whiteboard while Mr. Quinzel sat in the corner, head in his hands and regretting more than ever his decision to involve Bruce in his daughter's rescue.

Mr. Quinzel looked up when the door opened. "Harley!" he gasped in astonishment, racing over to her and embracing her fiercely. "Oh God, Harley! I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Me too, Daddy!" she whispered, hugging him back. "God, I missed you!"

"How did you escape from those evil lunatics?" he asked.

"I didn't escape, Daddy – they let me go," said Harley.

"Let you go?" he repeated. "Those horrible monsters?"

"They're not, Daddy," said Harley. "They're under a curse, and desperate, but they're not all bad, really. You gotta call off this attack, Bruce," she said, turning to face him. "There's no need to storm in there and rescue me anymore, after all. And if you provoke them, innocent people are just gonna get killed. Just leave them alone, please. They're not going to hurt anyone."

Bruce looked at her. "Sad, isn't it, Mr. Quinzel?" he sighed.

"What?" asked Mr. Quinzel, puzzled.

"That the monsters have managed to brainwash her, of course," retorted Bruce. "Made her as crazy as they are. No sane person could defend those lunatics, after all."

"I'm not brainwashed!" snapped Harley. "And I'm not crazy! You're crazy if you think attacking a fortress full of experienced killers in a bat costume is a good idea! And what's with that, anyway?"

"It's the costume of a hero," retorted Bruce. "A crusader for justice, a dark knight, who will slay monsters to prove himself the hero this city needs, and the one it deserves. I'm not surprised you can't understand it, Harley, but I'll free your mind from their influence soon enough, never fear."

"You're not going to hurt them!" shrieked Harley. "I won't let you!"

"And just what do you think you can do about it?" asked Bruce. "I'm the rich one here – I've got power and influence and if I want to launch an attack on Arkham, I will. You're just a poor little girl with nothing – how do you expect to stop me?"

Harley punched him across the face. "Like that, if I have to!" she snapped.

"See? You have been brainwashed!" exclaimed Bruce, touching his bleeding nose. "To be as violent and unpredictable as the madmen! Don't worry, Mr. Quinzel – I'll bring your real daughter back to you when I've slaughtered every last one of the lunatics," he said, turning away from her.

"Bruce, I won't let you do this!" screamed Harley, but she was restrained by Dick, who held her arms firmly behind her back as she attempted to attack Bruce again. Bruce went over to the whiteboard, pulling some photographs down.

"Which one was it?" he asked, holding them up to Harley. "Which one brainwashed you? The plant witch, with her lipstick? Or the hat freak, with his mind control?"

When he got to the picture of the Joker, Harley felt her heart leap, and she hoped Bruce wouldn't notice. But he did.

"The clown?" he demanded. "That's the one who brainwashed you?"

"Nobody brainwashed me!" hissed Harley.

Bruce nodded slowly. "Yes, he did. And I'll bring back his head to you in order to break the spell."

"You won't hurt him!" screamed Harley. "He's a better fighter than you!"

"I doubt that!" laughed Bruce. "I was trained by professionals! He's just some insane clown…"

He trailed off as he studied her eyes. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster," he murmured.

"He's not the monster, Bruce," snapped Harley. "You are!"

Bruce shook his head. "See? Crazy," he sighed. "Shame in one so young and beautiful, but I have every hope of restoring her sanity when I destroy the creatures who drove her mad. Mr. Quinzel, I'd take her home and lock her up if I were you, someplace safe, until I fix this. Dick, c'mon. We've got some monsters to slay."

"Bruce, no, stop!" shrieked Harley, rushing after him. "Please don't do this!"

"You want to stop me?" Bruce demanded. "Then marry me."

Harley gaped at him. "What?"

"One little word, Harley, that's all it takes," said Bruce, smiling.

"Never!" shrieked Harley. "I won't be blackmailed into marrying you!"

"Then your crazy little friends are gonna die," retorted Bruce. "So have it your way, Harley."

Harley shrieked, about to punch him again, but Mr. Quinzel held her back. "Dad, no, please, let me go! I have to stop him!" she cried, turning to her father as the door slammed shut. "You don't understand – I'm not crazy!"

"I know, baby," he said, softly. "But I also know trying to get Bruce Wayne to do anything is impossible, including changing his mind. But if we hurry, we can get back to Arkham and warn 'em before the others arrive."

"You…believe me?" asked Harley.

He kissed her. "I'll always believe you, sweetheart. You say they're not all bad, then they're not all bad. And if saving them is important to you, it's important to me."

Harley hugged him. "C'mon, let's get going," she said, racing toward the door.

He caught her arm. "Was…Bruce right about that?" he asked. "About you…having feelings…for the clown?"

Harley bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, Dad. I think…I love him."

He nodded slowly. "Then we'd definitely better hurry," he said.

…

"What the hell is that?" asked Poison Ivy, looking out the window of Arkham Asylum at the approaching mass of light.

"Looks like…people," said Two-Face. "What the hell are a buncha people doing heading toward Arkham?"

"Looks like an angry mob to me," said Tetch. "Which is obviously just what we need."

"We can beat them back easily," said Crane, loading vials of fear toxin into his gloves. "A little mass terror might be just the thing to cheer me up after J ruined our chances of breaking the spell."

"J, angry mob at twelve o'clock," said Two-Face, as Joker entered the room. "Better get ready to fight."

Joker nodded slowly. "Yeah. They think we're monsters, so we're gonna be monsters. C'mon, everyone," he said, nodding towards the door. "Let's show 'em the beasts we truly are."