A/N: To my lovely reviewers, thank you so much! There seems to be a general dip in reviews but I'm going to continue to plow ahead as I feel like there is a lot to cover. But if you do get a chance to read this, please drop a review :). They are much appreciated!

Disclaimer: The characters and universe belongs to Cassandra Clare.

Warnings: Violence and disturbing themes in this chapter. Overall, this story deals with very sensitive subject matters, including sexual abuse of a minor (not explicitly described), internalized homophobia, self-destructive behavior, language and adult sexual content.

Learning to Be

Chapter 14: Sleepover

Alec sat on his bed, his cell phone in one hand and his other hand tapping mindlessly on his knee. Jace and Izzy had returned to Max's room and Alec stepped out to change his clothes and get ready for bed. He was going to sleep in Max's room. He didn't think he was actually going to get any sleep. This would be the first time that he would be forced to sleep in the Institute since Manson arrived but he wasn't leaving the Institute as long as Max was here.

He picked up the phone and quickly dialed the last number listed.

"Well, dear shadowhunter, fancy hearing from you."

"Hi Magnus," Alec said, cringing slightly. He had just abruptly left that morning.

"So, you're an expert at sneaking out. Sneaking out of the Institute and sneaking out of my place without so much as a goodbye." There was a lightness to his voice but Alec could hear a hint of annoyance.

"I'm sorry Magnus. I had a bad dream and I needed to get out...go running...it's what I do."

"Run or hurt yourself?"

The bluntness was not unexpected but Alec didn't know what to say.

"I told you to come to me. You could have woken me up."

Alec shivered, just remembering the dream and the role Magnus had played in it.

"I'm trying Magnus but it's not going to happen over night."

Alec heard the warlock sigh. "I know that Alec but you need to start somewhere. Did you do anything you shouldn't have?"

Alec bit his bottom lip and knew that his silence was giving Magnus his answer. He didn't think he could lie convincingly after Magnus had found him bleeding on the street.

"Oh Alec..." The voice was soft and barely audible through the cellphone. "What did you do?"

"Why are you asking me that? You know."

"I want to hear you say it. I want you to hear it. You need to hear what you are doing to yourself."

"I don't want to," Alec said stubbornly.

"Then tell me about this dream."

Alec blanched. He gripped the sheets below him. "I cut myself." Saying the words made him nauseous. It made him feel weak and pathetic. But it was better than talking about the dream.

"Where?"

"On my thighs."

"How did it make you feel?"

"Magnus, please."

"I'm sorry Alec. I just want you to think about these things. Think about what you can do differently."

Alec knew he had good intentions but he wasn't ready to talk about it. "I called because I wanted to tell you I can't come over tonight."

"Has something changed?"

"What?"

"Did the person that you've been avoiding leave?"

Alec blinked, surprised. "I...I never mentioned anyone."

"You didn't have to. You're avoiding someone. Someone who has recently arrived at the Institute. A visiting shadowhunter, I'm guessing."

Alec's heart was pounding loudly.

"And you don't feel safe at the Institute with this shadowhunter there...especially at night."

Alec couldn't speak. Everything was unraveling quickly. First Magnus found out about his habit, then Izzy found out about Manson and now Magnus was trying to figure things out.

"Alec?"

"Yeah."

"Has this person left?"

"My dad and little brother have come back from Alicante."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I won't be able to get out tonight."

"Alec..."

"Goodnight Magnus."

xxxxxx

Blankets were spread out on the floor of Max's bedroom. The door was securely locked with a rune that would counteract an unlocking rune. Jace lay on his side on the edge of the blankets. Beside him, Max slept curled up, his back to Jace and his head laying against Alec's shoulder. Isabelle lay on the other side of Alec. Her eyes were closed but she wasn't sleeping and she guessed that neither was Alec. She could see the glow of a light from behind her eyelids and the faint sound of someone clicking away at keys on a cellphone cutting through Jace's soft snores.

She cracked her eyes open to see Alec holding his cellphone low against the ground in an attempt to shield the light as he punched away at the keys.

"Who are you texting?" she asked softly.

Alec looked up, startled. He quickly snapped the phone shut, plunging the room into darkness. "I was just playing a game. Couldn't sleep."

Izzy looked at Alec skeptically even though he couldn't see her expression. It definitely looked like he was texting someone.

"I thought you were sleeping," Alec said.

"Couldn't sleep either," she replied.

She moved closer and lay her head on his shoulder, similar to how Max was sleeping. Alec's body shifted slightly but he relaxed quickly. "How are you feeling, Izzy?"

Izzy blinked, surprised at the question. "How do I feel?"

"I mean, I've had a lot of years to process all this...you've had an hour."

Izzy sighed. She pulled away and sat up, leaning her back against the wall. Alec carefully lay Max's head on a pillow and shifted so he was sitting beside her.

She grabbed his hand and pulled it into her lap, her thumb absently rubbing the back of his hand. "I'm feeling a lot of things, Alec, if I'm being honest."

"You can be honest. You don't have to treat me like glass."

She turned and looked at Alec. Their eyes had adjusted to the darkness and they could see faint outlines of each other. "I'm angry. I'm upset. I'm sad."

Alec nodded. "I'm sorry."

Izzy squeezed his hand. "You have to stop being sorry about things that are not your fault."

He tried to pull his hand away but Izzy held onto it tightly. "Let me tell you a hypothetical story. You cannot interrupt until I'm done."

"All right."

"When I was 14 I had a crush on that Clearwater kid that stayed with us for a few days but he thought I was a silly little girl. He was almost of age and had a girlfriend in Alicante. He told me so."

Alec was about to say something but Izzy hushed him. "Now imagine that his father was more interested in me than his kid."

Izzy felt his whole body tense and she squeezed his hand. "None of this happened. But if it did...if his father had come into my room and forced me to do things...if he talked about the way I looked at his son and that he knew I wanted it...would you think that it was my fault?"

"No, by the angel, no. Izzy, I would want to kill him."

"And I want to kill Manson. Because he hurt my brother. Because he made you think that somehow this is your fault...that you deserved this."

Alec shook his head.

"Alec, he took so much from you. For so many years I watched you fade away. He took your voice...your childhood...your happiness...that spark in your eyes...I know the list goes on but Alec, he doesn't have to keep them."

"Easier said than done, Izzy."

"I know, Alec. I know. But you're so brave...you've always been so brave."

Alec laughed harshly, slapping his hand to his mouth so that he didn't wake up his brothers. "Brave is as far from reality as possible."

"You've had to deal with so much and you're still here, always protecting us. Always making sure we're all right. Even now, protecting Max. And I know it was hard to tell me what happened but you did. You're a fighter. You may not see it now but I know that that's who you are."

Before he could reply, Izzy shifter herself and leaned her head onto his shoulder, keeping his hand within her grip. He wrapped his arm around her and held her close. "You have so much faith in me, Izzy." He leaned his head against her head and sighed. "I want to live up to that but it's hard."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm here for you."

xxxxxx

Benedict Manson sat on the edge of his bed, his hands gripping the sides of his thighs. On his lap he had a wooden box with a latch. He ran a hand along the edge. He was so tempted to open it and savor the contents within. Being back at the Institute brought back the memories more vividly than ever before and they were becoming harder and harder to ignore. And last night, seeing Alexander, it was exhilarating. Watching him become putty in his hands after all these years caused his heart to race with the surge of power he had over the boy. It was almost as exciting as having him the way he used to when he was younger.

He was about to open the box when a loud banging interrupted his thoughts. His head snapped to the door and he quickly shoved the box under the bed.

"Manson, open this door," came a demanding voice that he quickly recognized as belonging to Robert Lightwood.

He sighed, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep the man out, much like he wasn't able to keep that annoying Wayland boy from barging into his room. At least this time it was not unannounced.

He got up and opened the door, stepping aside as the Lightwood came into the room, his face red and angry.

"Why the fuck are you here?" Robert hissed, pushing him against the wall just as Wayland had.

Manson stood there cooly, staring at the man with an unconcerned expression. "I didn't know you were back from Idris. Did you have a good trip?"

Robert pushed his forearm into his neck. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here on Clave business. That's all I can tell you."

"Bullshit! You're here to fuck with my kids."

Manson laughed at Robert's poor choice of words. "I already fucked the one I wanted to. Those damned blue eyes were always irresistible...even when they'd lost their innocence."

Robert growled angrily, pushing his arm further into his neck. His eyes were wild and enraged.

Manson gasped for air but used his own strength to push against the weight, alleviating the pressure on his airway just enough. "Do you think killing me is a wise choice? How do you plan to explain it to the Clave?"

Robert released him and pushed him down to the ground roughly.

Manson just laughed. The man was so pathetically bound by Clave law and yet he had been too cowardly to report him after he found out what he was doing to his son. He wondered if Robert would have reported it if he had targeted the girl instead.

Robert glared down at the man and sent a vicious kick into Manson's ribs. Manson groaned and tried to get up but Robert just kept kicking, his foot landing in the same spot over and over again. Finally, Manson was able to grab the leg and Robert tripped, falling back. Robert didn't seem fazed. He just lunged forward and grabbed him around the neck. Manson tried to struggle free but Robert was stronger.

"I might not kill you," Robert hissed. "But I would watch my back if I were you." He tightened his grip and Manson's vision was becoming blurry. "You just don't know what could happen the longer you stay here. So, I'd advice you to get the fuck out of here and to stay away from my children."

Robert finally let him go, throwing his head back so that it banged against the wall loudly. Manson gasped for air desperately, pain racing through his body. From the corner of his eye he saw Robert reach out for the bedside table and take his stele.

"You won't be needing this tonight." He twirled the tip of the stele against his fingertip, holding his only chance at an iratze. "And I'd advice you to stay in this bedroom for the night. I'll help you out." He lifted the stele up into the air. "A locking rune with no stele to undo it sounds appropriate."

Once Robert had left, Manson groaned loudly as he dragged himself to the bed. Lifting his shirt, he could see the angry bruises forming, hiding away the broken ribs he was sure he had. He slowly lowered himself into the bed, cringing in pain. The pain was unbearable and breathing was nearly impossible.

A/N: Some Malec, Izzy/Alec and I know, some violent and disturbing stuff! But Manson is a disturbing character and everything, including the box will be his undoing eventually. Alec will only get stronger and then Manson will no longer feel invincible. Please, please, please, with a virtual cherry on top, drop a review if you can!