Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura
I'm back! Here's chapter 4. Not as much SyaoranxSakura in this chapter, but it's got more info on Sakura's father, which I think is important.
Sakura's POV
When I arrive home I'm surprised to find my brother waiting for me on the other side of the door.
"Touya!" I run over to him and throw my arms around him.
"Hey, squirt." He pats me on the head.
Even though Touya and I live in the same house we rarely see each other. Our schedules don't really let us. Touya usually leaves the house long before I wake up and he doesn't get home until I've already gone to bed. I honestly don't know how he does it. He doesn't even look tired when I see him. We usually spend the weekends together, but now that I'll be working longer hours on the weekend that probably won't work.
When he lets me go of me, I ask, "so, got any news?"
Touya sights. "Right to the point, aren't you?"
"I like to get the bad news over with."
"Well then, no. Nothing yet. I asked all around town, and from the looks of it a lot of people are struggling right now. Nobody can afford to hire. I'm going to look outside of Tomoeda next."
My mind races. "What? You can't! How will you commute?"
"Calm down, Sakura. This isn't going to be a long term thing. Yuki is going to talk to some people tomorrow and see if he can find an opening here in Tomoeda." I relax a bit when I hear the news.
Yukito Tsukishiro is my brother's best friend. The two of them have know each other since they were kids. Yukito is an intern at some huge business corporation, so he has insight on available jobs in Tomoeda.
"Alright, but what if he can't find anything, Touya? We can't keep on living like this." It slips out before I can stop it. Touya's eyes soften and he pulls me into a tight embrace.
"I know it's hard, Sakura, but we can't just give up. As soon as you graduate and turn eighteen we're out of here. No looking back. You got that, kiddo?" He pulls away to look me directly in the eyes.
To be honest, I don't know if I have 'got that'. Touya and I have always said that as soon as I graduate that we're going to leave our father and live on our own, but somewhere deep down I just can't fully commit myself to it. It feels so wrong. I've never told these things to Touya, or even Tomoyo. Tomoyo isn't even aware of Touya's plan to take me away from Tomoeda after graduation.
Ignoring my doubt, I nod my head in agreement. I don't dare speak. Touya lets go of me and begins to walk upstairs.
"Dinner is on the table if you want some. If not, could you toss it in the fridge?"
I inspect the curry on the table. I don't think curry is supposed to look like that. I'd never dare say it to his face, but Touya isn't exactly the best cook. "Yeah, I'll get right to that."
I decide, instead of eating the oddly colored curry, to heat up some of the spaghetti I made last night. After I put it in the microwave I head into the family room. I'm a little surprised when I find my father passed out on the couch. Not because it's unusual, but because I didn't even notice when I first passed by. It just goes to show how much I've adapted to his behavior.
I sit down quietly on the seat next to my father and lean over to look at his face. I can smell the alcohol radiating from him. It's always bothered me how much my father drinks, but I'm just thankful that he's not abusive when drunk. Touya used to be really uncomfortable about leaving me at home alone with him while he was drunk or drinking, because he didn't want anything to happen to me. After a while, though, it became clear that even when drunk, our father won't so much as hurt a fly. To this very day I've never seen my father do anything more violent than hitting a wall or shoving things from a desk, and those things were only done after hearing from my mother's doctor.
After she died he began to spiral out of control. He drank all day and night to drown out his sorrows. That's how he lost his job. He showed up to one of his lectures drunk. All he ever seemed to do- ever seems to do to this very day- is eat, sleep, drink, and cry. He typically sleeps during most of the day, and then some nights he'll go out to a bar and drink, or he'll lock himself in his study and just cry all night long. The later is always the hardest emotionally. I have trouble sleeping those nights because I can hear his wailing. I've never heard anything so sad and heart breaking before in my life. I assume that's why he drinks. He just wants to forget.
Even though I'm able to see why he does it, I don't understand how he doesn't realize what it's doing to Touya and I. I don't even know for sure if he's aware Touya had to drop out of high school his senior year to support us.
As much as I hate to admit it, though, I can't bring myself to blame my father. It's strange, I know how easy it would be. I've always taken the easy way out, but when it comes to my father. I just can't seem to manage it. Believe me, I've tired. I've tried to blame him for everything that has happened. Sure, he should have been there for Touya and I, and should still be here for us now, but when I try to imagine myself in his position I don't know how I would cope. He lost the love of his life. How does a person get over that?
Syaoran's POV
It's finally Friday. Damn good thing, too, because I don't know how much more of Sakura's attitude I can take. That combined with the fact that she doesn't seem to understand anything we've learned this year. You'd think she wasn't even in the room when Mr. Terada was teaching these things to us, but I know for a fact that she was there, so there's no excuse for her not to get at least some of it. It baffles me a little, to be completely honest.
Right now I'm sitting across from her in the library, as usual, reading a book while she does work. I can tell that she's getting antsy, which would be normal had we not just gotten started less than twenty minutes ago.
"Hey, Li?" I don't look up.
"What?"
"Do you mind if we cut this short today?"
I flip the page. "We just got here." I can see her fidget out of the corner of my eye.
"I know, but we've been at this all week."
"We started Tuesday. It's Friday."
She sighs. "Look, there's something I really need to get done."
"Then do it on your own time. You think there aren't things I'd rather be doing right now?"
I can tell she's getting annoyed. "I don't have time to do it. In case you forgot I have to come here every morning, and after school I have a job to get to."
"Well that's not my problem, now is it?"
I'm about to flip the page again when her hand shoots out and slams the book onto the table. Now I'm looking at her.
"Let me rephrase that. I'm cutting today's tutoring lesson short to go take care of something." She grabs her things and stands up. When she reaches the door she pauses and says, "I'm sorry to do this. I'll make up for it Monday." Then she leaves me sitting alone in the empty library.
Sakura's POV
To be honest, there isn't really anything that I need to do. I'm on my way to the art room, but I don't really know what to do there. I have still yet to figure out what my picture is missing, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to start working on something new. The real reason I wanted to leave is because I don't want to be around Syaoran. It's been less than a week, and I'm already having memories from the past cross my mind. Every time I look into those amber eyes my mind drifts back to when we were kids. Back to when things were simple.
Syaoran's POV
When I get to class and Sakura isn't there I start to panic a little. Not because I'm worried or anything, but because if Terada walks in and Sakura's not in the room, I'm in trouble, too. I've only got a few minutes left to find her, but I turn around anyways. Then I bump into someone. Of course, that someone just happens to be Sakura. I'm not sure if I should consider myself really lucky, or really unlucky. Maybe a little of both.
"Sorry, I- Oh, Li." She looks up and realizes who she's bumped into. Me. Li Syaoran. Perhaps her least favorite person. Go figure that as soon as she realizes it's me she cuts off the apology.
"Good to see you, too," I say sarcastically. "Now, if you don't mind getting inside, I'd rather Terada not know that today's tutoring was cut short because you had to take care of some unscheduled business." I usher her into the room. She clearly isn't pleased, but steps hastily inside, nonetheless.
Throughout class I stare absentmindedly at the back of Sakura's head, which isn't something I usually do, but today it's drawn my attention. I'm not sure what, but something is different. I lean back in my chair and try to locate the difference. Come on, Syaoran, you're a martial artist for crying out loud! How hard is it to spot a difference in the back of a teenage girl's head? And then I catch sight of it. There are a few strands of hair with blue on them all clumped together.
What the heck? How did she manage to get paint on the back of her head? Does Sakura even paint? I don't think so- but, then again, what would I know?
I rest my cheek against my fist and gaze out the window. Tomoeda Elementary School is just next to the high school, so there's a good view of the side of the building. Just looking at it brings back memories. Both good and bad. All of Sakura. I hate that all my thoughts are filled with memories of her. There's not much I can do about it, though. It's been seven years, and even so, I still can't extinguish the memories of the past.
As I think of all the times we laughed and played and ate lunch together in that front courtyard I feel my eyes drift back to the girl in front of me.
What happened to us, Sakura?
Sakura's POV
When lunch finally rolls around I stand up and walk over to Rika.
"Rika-chan," I call out. She looks up.
"What is it, Sakura-chan?"
I hesitate, feeling nervous. I've spent the past two days trying to muster up enough courage to invite her to lunch myself. Tomoyo had asked her Tuesday, but that was it. I've been to chicken to ask her since.
"I was wondering if you would like to join Tomoyo and I for lunch." I watch anxiously as Rika's face lights up.
"I'd love to!" She thinks for a moment. "Although, I should probably tell Chiharu-chan that I won't be at lunch. Can I meet you two up on the roof?"
I feel a little bad about taking her away from Chiharu- especially knowing Chiharu doesn't approve of me- but I promised myself I'd make Rika my friend, and this is the best place to start.
"Of course! We'll see you there." I walk back to Tomoyo who's watching me amused.
She waits until Rika is out of the room to say, "I'm proud of you, Sakura."
"Psh." I let out a fake laugh. "That was nothing."
Tomoyo simply giggles. "You're totally transparent."
"What? Am not!"
She continues to giggle. "We should head out. Don't want our guest arriving before her hostess, do we?"
I nod and together the two of us head out of the classroom and up to the building's roof.
Today is my first official concert at work. Well, at least it's the first that's going to continue on a regular basis. Mrs. Matsumoto is letting me perform every Friday and Saturday night. Honestly, I'm a little nervous. It's not like I haven't performed before, but this time we actually have a poster in the window advertising live music. To be more precise, I'll be mainly playing the piano to provide comforting background music to the customers, however I will also do some singing depending on the song. Most of my repertoire consists of traditional Japanese songs, but there are also a few more modern songs in the mix.
Even Tomoyo came with me today to provide moral support. She's going to help out as part of the waitressing staff while I perform. Actually, Tomoyo has done it quite a few times before. Mrs. Matsumoto pays Tomoyo whenever we're extra busy, but Tomoyo doesn't actually work here on a regular basis.
Mrs. Matsumoto asked Tomoyo if she would like to work here part time once, but Tomoyo had to turn her down because she's in the school's fashion club, and takes singing lessons after school when she doesn't have club meetings. In fact, I thought that Tomoyo should be the one to do the live singing at first, but when I asked her if she would, she hastily turned me down. Thing is, Tomoyo has a really bad case of stage fright.
"Sakura, are you ready?" Tomoyo's voice carries through the the door that leads from the lounge into the changing area, where I currently am.
"Yeah!" I open the door and step out.
Tomoyo gasps. "Oh, it's absolutely perfect on you, Sakura!"
In honor of my first official live show, Tomoyo made me a special outfit to wear. She loves to do this to me. Every time something notable comes up, Tomoyo is there with her tape measure and notebook, ready to take measurements for the outfit that she will inevitably make for the occasion. Today's outfit is a cute frilly pink dress that makes me feel like a little kid again.
"Are you sure this isn't too much," I ask, looking from the dress I'm wearing to Tomoyo.
She gasps. "No, of course not. This is a big day for you, Sakura. I can't wait to see you at the piano playing beautiful music in the new dress I made just for you."
I sigh. Tomoyo is really getting into this, isn't she?
From the corner of my eye I see someone enter the lounge and when I turn my head I see Mrs. Matsumoto.
"Is it time?"
She nods. "If you're good to go you then can start."
Deep breaths, Sakura. I tell myself this as I leave the lounge and pass the kitchen on my way into the main cafe area. As I enter the cafe I assess the crowd. There are more people than usual, that much is clear, but there are still some empty tables left. Stepping onto the makeshift stage that that's about a foot off the ground, I scratch my index finger against my thumb anxiously. I slide onto the bench in front of the piano with ease. Some of the customers look up from their food or conversations.
I press my foot down on the silencer as I warm up my fingers. They drift lightly over the keys without making a sound. After a moment I clear my throat and lean up to the mic.
"The live music will start now." I can't think of anything else to say.
Lifting my foot from the silencer, I begin to play. I start by playing a relatively simple tune. The word at the top of the music sheet reads: "Sakura". The piece is a Japanese folk song that I decided to start with because it's fairly well known, and it's also my name, meaning cherry blossom. It seems like a good place to start.
Even though the music sheet is sitting in front of me I don't look at it. This is one of the first pieces I ever learned to play, so it's engraved into my heart.
As I play some people stop their conversations to listen. Most of them are older couples who have come to the cafe to listen to the live music.
When the song comes to an end there's some applause from the tables closest to me. I hear a particularly loud clapping from behind me and turn around to see who's there. Of course, standing there with a huge smile on her face is Tomoyo, but next to her is one of my older coworkers, Nakuru Akizuki, or 'Ruby' as most of us call her. Ruby is a beautiful woman in her early twenties who used to go to school with Touya. The two of them even still talk sometimes, but Ruby goes to the college, so she's a fairly busy person.
She stands there clapping softly and giving me a proud smile. I can't help feel honored. I've always looked up to Ruby, so whenever she praises me it fills me with joy.
I smile back at them and return to the music. The following forty-five minutes I play a variety of tunes before taking a five minute brake and going back on until closing an hour later. At the end of it my fingers are stiff from all the playing. I don't think I could play another note if I tried. To think that I have to do this tomorrow night, too! At this rate my fingers are going to fall off.
When I arrive home after work I find Touya waiting for me again.
"Is this going to become a regular thing?"
He chuckles. "Doubtful. I heard back from Yuki today."
He's got my attention now. On Wednesday, Yukito was going to ask around for a job opening that Touya could fill. To have news so soon must be good thing.
"What did he say?"
"Apparently there's a sporting goods store opening up just downtown that's looking for employees." He must see my eyes light up, because he quickly continues. "I haven't sent in my application yet, and even if I get the job I won't start working there for another two weeks, but if I do get it you should be able to cut back down on your hours at work."
I try not to think about how good that sounds.
"Well that's a relief. After you apply how long will it be before you hear back?"
"I don't know for sure, but probably within a week."
"Thats good."
We stand in silence for a moment. Finally Touya speaks. "So, how was work? Did the live music turn out well?"
"It was good. My fingers are killing me, though. Don't know how I'm going to do it again tomorrow."
"Eh." Touya just waves his hand like this is nothing. "You'll live. Didn't screw up while on stage, did you?"
That's the good old light-hearted big brother I know and love. "Of course not! Come on, mom taught me better than that."
Touya's face softens. "Yeah," he says, patting the top of my head. "She sure did, kiddo."
I have another dream about my mom that night. Unlike the last one, this one is more pleasant. It's from before my mom got sick, when I was barely five.
The dream is from when she first started teaching me how to play the piano. I decided one day that I wanted to learn how to play, so she told me that if I was willing to put the time and effort into it that she would teach me. I jumped at the opportunity. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. Even though it didn't mean much back then, now it's the most time I spent with her. They're some of the best memories I have of her, and nothing can take that away from me.
Alright, so now that the chapter's over I wanna answer one of my comments. I was asked two important questions. 1: Why did Sakura and Syaoran have a falling out in their relationship? 2: When will Eriol show up?
So, for the first question I'm going to be answering that via the story hopefully within the next three chapters or so. I've already written the scene I'll be using for it, but I have a few events that I've planned to happen before I reveal it. Sorry for any confusion.
Now, about Eriol, I would like to clarify right now that he doesn't currently go to Tomoeda High, which is why he hasn't been mentioned yet. I'm going to have him transfer in one of the later chapters. All of you Eriol fans out there might have to wait a little while.