Chapter 9 is here.

Sakura's POV

I can't do it. It's been forty-eight hours since I last saw him, and I still can't bring myself to face him.

Monday morning, I race to Tomoeda High with a whole new desire. I have to paint. I know it won't fill the void, but it'll at least help.

As soon as I pass though the threshold into the art room, I get to work. Grabbing a new sheet of thick painting paper, I sit down in front of the easel.

I don't know exactly what I'm doing, but I know the feelings stirring inside me. That alone is enough to get me started. The next hour is spent painting. When the bell rings, I put everything away and wander off to class.

He's there when I enter the room. I don't look at him as I pass by, but I can feel his eyes on me. I'm all too aware of his presence behind me.

"You missed tutoring today," he says from behind me.

I nod.

"Are you still recuperating?"

I nod again.

"Do you think you'll be there tomorrow?"

Biting my lip, I look down at my desk. "Maybe."

I'm thankful when he doesn't speak again.

Syaoran's POV

Something's not right. As I speak to Sakura, she's totally stiff. She hardly speaks, and she won't even look at me. Usually I'd think, 'okay, so she's ignoring me', but something about her is different. The way she gives me cautious replies, it's clear she's not simply ignoring me. She's got her guard up. More than just that, she's shutting me out the same way she did seven years ago. But why? Why is she shutting me out when she never let me back in to begin with?

Sakura's POV

I return to work for the first time tonight. When I get there, Mrs. Matsumoto sits me down for a 'chat'.

As I enter, I catch sight of Chiharu standing in the corner watching us on her way to the kitchen. Her eyes are filled with a blend of curiosity and concern. Was she worried about me?

Mrs. Matsumoto sits down in the seat across from me and at the same time, Chiharu exits the room.

"I heard you collapsed on your way out of school the other day."

"I did, but who told you?" To confirm my suspicion, she moves her eyes down and to the side, as if listening for someone behind her. "Chiharu," I say to myself.

"She informed me that she was there when it happened." Well this is news to me. Syaoran never mentioned anything about Chiharu being there. "Apparently it was from exhaustion." Ah, here we go.

"Yeah, it was, but-"

She raises her hand. "Sakura, if there's one thing I've learned over the past two years of working with you, it's that you don't know when your body has had enough. I think it's pretty obvious what's going to have to happen now."

I hang my head. "Yeah, I know."

"Your brother's job just started today, so there shouldn't be any problems, am I right?"

"If everything goes as planed." It already has. Touya left early this morning to meet his coworkers and get his I.D.

"Good, now off to work."

Nope. Still can't do it. At this rate I'm going to fail all my exams because I'm too emotionally unstable to meet with my tutor.

Damn it. Damn it. Screw this! Who the hell cares, anyway? It's not like graduating is going to do me any good. How many jobs want someone with a high school degree, but not a college one? Not very many. I'll probably end up being a waitress for the rest of my life.

We can't afford to send me to college, and with my grades, there's no way I'll ever get a scholarship anywhere. What good does it do for me to study? None. Zero, zip, zilch. Why not thrown in the towel now, then? Oh, that's right, because Touya won't let me. Where the hell is my life going? At this rate, I'd probably be doing myself a favor by trying to seduce some rich old man and marrying my way through life.

To think that the richest person I've ever known is the very reason I'm having this problem. Ironic how that works. Almost makes me want to laugh. Actually, no, it really doesn't. If anything, it just pisses me off even more.

I would never let that happen to me, though. I have way too much dignity to allow myself to become like those women who marry just to get to someone's money. It's like a small step up from prostitution. Only difference is that if the guy croaks, the wife has got a hell of a lot to gain. Sickening, really.

Still, I've gotta make a living somehow. To do that, maintain all self-pronounced morals, and not break any laws, will lead me down a very hard path in life. I'll start graying before I've even reached my mid twenties.

I'm jerked back to reality when I turn the corner and barely have time to register Syaoran standing there before it's too late.

Crap! Why the hell am I hiding? This guy requires way too much effort. Avoiding him is proving to be a lot more difficult than I initially anticipated. I mean, here I am with my arms wrapped around a tree, peeking around the trunk to spy on him. I'm taking the phrase 'tree hugger' to a whole new level.

Syaoran stands patiently at the front gate, phone in hand, looking like he doesn't have a care in the world. When he looks up, I press my back against the tree trunk, and hold my breath. A good, solid minute passes before I dare to look again. This time he's gone.

With a sigh, I glide out of my hiding spot, and cautiously make my way towards the school building. I'm sure to check for any signs of Syaoran on my way. Thankfully, he's nowhere in sight. Off to the art room with me.

Syaoran's POV

This is getting weird. I just found her hiding behind a tree, and now she's sneaking around the building. What's gotten into her? Did I do something to set off this behavior, or does this have nothing to do with me? I suppose it must have something to do with me- why else would she be avoiding me?

Unable to quench my curiosity, I wait inside the building, and follow her through the halls. Unsurprisingly, she doesn't go to the library, but when she turns down the art hallway, I start asking questions.

I poke my head around the corner as she opens the door at the end of the hall, and enters. I'm close behind.

Sliding the door open so that there's just a crack, I peek in to find Sakura sitting behind an easel on the far side of the room. She rises, and judging by her demeanor, she hasn't realized that I'm here. I watch, intrigued, as she walks up to a table and adds paint to her pallet.

When she sits back down, I find my eyes staring at the back of the easel, wondering what could be on the other side.

For a few minutes, I just stand and watch her expression as she paints. I haven't seen her look so venerable in years. Then, against my better judgement, I turn and walk away, leaving her to her painting.

My passive attitude only lasts for about twenty-four hours.

It's fifteen minutes into when tutoring should have started when I start getting annoyed. I let it slide yesterday, but this can't become a regular thing.

When I check her locker on my way in, I find her roller blades sitting inside. Well, looks like she's here. Now time to go put an end to this I-don't-give-a-damn attitude of hers.

I march down the art hallway, not trying to be quiet at all. Reaching the room from yesterday, I shove the door out of my way. It makes a thud as it hits the wall. Sakura jumps a little, and her head shoots up. Recognition and terror overtake her features as she sees me.

"Li!" Her eyes steal a panicked glance at the painting, but are on me again in the blink of an eye. "What are you doing here?"

"This is the third day in a row that you've missed tutoring. I decided to investigate."

"Okay," she says slowly, and then rises to her feet. "Well, you caught me. I admit it; I've got a painting obsession. We should probably be heading to the library, then." She's trying to play it cool, but is clearly stalling me. Even as she walks up to me, I don't look at her. My eyes are on the painting that I can't see.

Ignoring her, I step towards it. "So, what are you working on?"

"Nothing much," she says, trying to keep her voice even.

"You're missing our tutoring sessions for it, so surely it's not nothing." Her hand reaches out and grabs my arm. The action send electricity shooting through me. I turn. "What's wrong? You're not painting nude, are you?"

Her face flushes, despite her panic. "N-no! Nothing like that." Her hand becomes weak, and I easily pull away from her.

"Then surely you wouldn't mind if I just-"

"Li, don't!"

My voice dies in my throat when I step behind the easel and my eyes fall on the painting. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this.

My cool demeanor melts away. There's no hiding my utter bewilderment at the sight before me. I want to reject the image before me- to tell myself it's just my eyes playing tricks on me, but they're not.

The undeniable truth is that the painting before me is of me. A younger version of Syaoran Li is plastered onto the paper. Even if it is just an outline, the scene makes it clear. Mostly because I'm not alone. There's another person there as well. It's a girl with auburn hair. More than that, it's none other than the girl who painted the image; Sakura Kinomoto herself. My eyes widen as they register what they're seeing. This can't be, but I know that it is. What else could it possibly be? Sakura is the one working on it. There's no denying it; The painting is of Sakura and I, but the fact that it's Sakura and I in the painting isn't the most alarming part. Not by a long shot. It's what's happening that leaves me so distraught.

The painting captures Sakura on the ground, her pink dress spilled out over the floor, and a single frail arm outstretched so her childlike fingers can hold onto something. That something is my wrist. Her slim fingers cling tightly to it as if her life depends on her ability to not let go. It's heart wrenching, really.

Then there's me.

My hand is balled up into a fist, and I can't tell if Sakura has done it to show anger, or the need for self-control that I really felt at the time. My back is to Sakura. Even though my hair shadows my eyes, I can tell my expression is indifferent. Sakura, on the other hand, has tears streaking down her face.

The way she has portrayed the events on the canvas makes my heart clench, as well as my fists. This isn't how it happened. Does she think it was easy for me to leave her?

In search of an answer, I move my head to look at the artist herself, now standing cautiously in the doorway awaiting my reaction. I stare at her, and she stares right back. Neither of us moves until I take a step forward. In response, Sakura whirls herself around and sprints off down the hall. I find myself running after her at first, but then stop short at the door. She can't run forever. I don't know why she's so averse to talking to me, but after what I just saw, there's no way I'm dropping this. She's still thinking about it, just as I am. That thought alone gives me hope. The hope that maybe I'm not alone in all this.

Sakura's POV

I don't know why I run. Fight or flight instinct, maybe. All I know is that when I saw the look on Syaoran's face, I knew I couldn't keep hiding from him. If he knows that it still haunts me, there's nothing to stop him from trying to pry the truth from me. The truth as to why all of this is happening. About why I couldn't forgive him.

The worst part is that even I haven't come to allow myself to accept what my heart is telling me. I've never spoken aloud what truly lies within, not even with Tomoyo. She and I both know. Still, neither one of us has ever spoken the words aloud. I'm too afraid of what might happen if I do.

That's all in the past, though. I don't still feel the same way. Syaoran will always reside in my heart, but not the way he used to. It's different now. I can't let him into my heart the same way he used to be.

Syaoran's POV

Hearing the bell ring, I begin to wonder what will happen in class. How will Sakura act?

My question is answered when I open the door and find she's nowhere in sight. Even as the final bell rings, she doesn't come racing through the door at top speed.

Is she seriously skipping? All because I saw a painting of hers? She's way too devoted to making sure we never talk about what happened.

Sakura's POV

I shouldn't be skipping. I really shouldn't be skipping. Midterms are only two weeks away, and if I start skipping class, in addition to not knowing the old material, I won't know the new either. If that happens, and I fail the exams, then Terada could just tell Syaoran and I that we have to keep on going through tutoring even longer. What am I supposed to do, though? I can't face Syaoran- not after what just happened.

At work, Chiharu catches me off guard when she pulls me aside during one of the brakes and comes right out saying, "Okay, Sakura, what the heck is going on with you and Li? You two have been acting weird since you stayed over at his house."

"What do you mean?"

Chiharu rolls her eyes. "Don't play coy with me. You're hardly paying attention here at work, and Li was totally out of it today at lunch."

The mention of Syaoran makes me tense. "I don't know what to tell you, Chiharu. If you're implying that something happened, you're wrong."

Chiharu scrutinizes me. "Maybe so, but something is different."

I let out a sigh of frustration. "Why do you even care, Chiharu?"

"Li is my friend," she states confidently.

"Then why don't you try talking to him?" I turn and walk briskly back to the kitchen.

I don't want to sound hostile, but I can't tell her. Chiharu has her own problems to worry about. The constant drama between myself and Syaoran shouldn't be something for her to concern herself with. Even if it ruins any possible chance I may have had at becoming close to her again, it's not something I'm ready to talk about. Especially with her.

When I wake up this Wednesday morning, I don't leave the house until 8:45; This way I won't be late to class, but don't have time to confront Syaoran. Unfortunately, my plan backfires the second I open the front door.

I have to grab the doorframe to stop myself from tripping over the person sitting just outside the door with their back to me.

What's this idiot doing? It's not everyday someone camps out on my front step.

Then the person looks up. I feel my heart leap to my throat. How did I not recognize those chestnut locks? Doesn't matter, there's no mistaking the reddish tint in those otherwise chocolate eyes.

I'm too shocked to move for a moment, so I lean over him with one hand holding the doorknob, and the other grasping the doorframe. My hair falls so that my peripheral vision is blocked, and my eyes see nothing but Syaoran.

His hair falls back out of his face, short strands dangling. He doesn't look anywhere near as threatening as I would have expected- especially with the way I've been avoiding him. Amber orbs are looking at me as if their beholder expects me to do something. So, not wanting to let them down, I do do something.

I hastily step back and begin to shut the door, only to have it stop centimeters from being shut. Confusion washes over me. Why won't this darn thing close? As the door begins to move back against me, I have my answer. Syaoran must be pushing from the other side.

"Go away!" I press my palms to the door.

There's a sliding on the other side, and he pushes the door so hard that I have to bring a foot back and use the step behind me to keep from being thrown back due to the force.

"No! You can't keep avoiding me forever."

Ha! That's where he's wrong.

"Really- because I've been doing a pretty good job at it for the past seven years, if I do say so myself."

There's a low growl from the other side of the door. Next thing I know, the pressure increases until it's too much for me, and I'm thrown back. I pull myself away as fast as I can manage, stumbling back and tripping over the step behind me.

Syaoran, too, comes falling forward, but with his right hand on the doorknob, he manages to catch himself before he can fall forward and wind up- most likely- on me.

I waste no time shoving off my shoes and bolting into the house. I don't even have time to see what Syaoran does, but I hear the bang of the front door being slammed shut.

I barely make it to the living room when his hand grabs mine, and I'm jerked to a halt.

"Let go of me!" I try to pry my hand away, but, much like the Chinese finger trap, his grip only seems to tighten.

"Not until you talk to me," he says, his voice as firm as his grip.

I twirl around to face him. "Why do you think I've been avoiding the topic for so many years? It's because I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, you don't have much of a choice now."

"Why won't you let it go? It's in the past. It's been seven years. Why do you still care?"

"I still care because I lost my best friend that day. Don't I deserve to know why?"

"You already know why," I scream at him, baring my teeth. "You abandoned me! You were there one day, and the next you weren't," I shout. "You didn't even tell me!"

"I know," he replies with his voice raised, but not strained to the point he's yelling. "And I regret that everyday!"

"Oh, do you?" I yank my hand away. "Well that's just rich, isn't it! Would've been nice if you could have figured that out then, wouldn't it?"

Now he's starting to look pissed. "Oh, please, cut the crap, Sakura. Stop acting like it was all my fault."

"What- so it's my fault you left?" I'm to pissed to care that he used my first name.

"That's not what I'm trying to say."

"Then what? What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that we did this. Both of us. Neither of us is solely to blame. We didn't communicate, Sakura. If we had just been open with each other about everything, we might still-"

"Stop!" I cry, turning away from him. I can't take this. "Just stop."

"No, I'm not stopping, Sakura." He takes my shoulder and turns me around. "We need to talk about this."

"I don't want to talk about it." I glare at him, and he just rolls his eyes.

"Of course you don't. If you had it your way, you'd pretend it never even happened."

"Yeah, I would, and I don't see anything wrong with that. It doesn't matter. What difference will it make?"

"Well, that's just it, isn't it? The matter of whether or not it changes anything."

"It doesn't," I state firmly. Syaoran raises an eyebrow.

"Is that so? You wanna talk about why?" he asks coyly. In turn, I give him a look of disgust.

"Just stop, Li." As soon as the words are out of my mouth, his face darkens. The look he fixes me with sends shivers down my spine.

Desperate to change the topic, I find myself saying, "we're going to be late."

Syaoran's eyes travel from me to the clock on the wall. "Shit." Before he turns and heads back towards the door, he looks me in the eyes and states, "we aren't done talking about this."

At the door, he grabs his shoes and turns back to me. "Are you coming?"

Hesitantly, I step forward. "Yeah."

Happy early Mother's Day! I wish you all a wonderful day.