"Welcome everybody," announced a familiar voice, " to Milton's Minute!"

The cameras opened to an unfamiliar sight- there was no boat, no Julie, just Milton standing on a stage as an audience erupted into applause. Milton smiled smugly, nodding his head in approval as he looked out at the crowd before speaking again.

"For those of you just joining us, Milton's minute is my new show that highlights some of the best shows on television. Last week we had on some of the cast and crew from Rainbow Pony Rehab Center for their farewell season- and tonight, we have the eliminated members of Camp TV to discuss THEIR farewell season! So join me in welcoming..."

Milton turned, pointing to a curtain that slowly raised.

"Vevo, Courtney, Gwen, Lance, Duncan, Cody, and NOAH!"

Everyone cheered as the former contestants walked on to the stage, looking confused, annoyed, or a mixture of the two. They took their seats, and Milton took his. The contestants sat in a row of chairs, three in the front (Cody, Gwen and Noah) and four in the back (Vevo, Courtney, Lance and Duncan). Milton himself was seated behind a large, impressive looking wooden desk that looked more like a judge's bench than anything else. The only other thing on the stage was a huge screen that hung behind Milton himself. Once the applause died down, Milton spoke.

"So... how's everyone doing tonight?"

"Considering I came in on crutches, how do you think?" Duncan demanded.

"I got voted off first!" Vevo complained.

Cody, who was still wrapped in bandages, did not respond.

"Glad to hear it," Milton chuckled, "now, there have been a lot of twists and turns this season, and there will be a lot of twists and turns tonight. But first, I'll ask the question that's caused so much debate on forums and amongst fans. Who's the most villainous competitor on the field right now- Justin, or Finn?"

"Do I look like I care?" Vevo scoffed, "I was eliminated FIRST! I mean, I'm the best villain on the show! If my plan had worked-"

"Yes, IF your plan had worked," Lance interrupted, "but it didn't, and here you are. Anyway, maybe I'm biased because she got me voted off, but I think you guys are making a mistake in counting out Heather. I mean, she's got a solid alliance, and she's pulled off some good moves. I think she's got the best shot at winning if she makes it to the merge."

"Without a doubt it's Justin," Noah huffed, "he's completely out of control!"

"You guys are forgetting Finn put me in crutches, and got four other people sent to the hospital!" Duncan complained, "And one of those four had to be eliminated!"

Cody nodded, frowning a bit.

"It seems like we have some very divided opinions," Milton observed, "of course, there's only one opinion here that really matters, and that's mine! I know who the real schemer is on the show... and they're going to take everybody by storm!"

"Okay... who is it?" Cody asked.

"Ha! Like I'm telling you," Milton smirked, "What kind of host would I be if I just revealed the biggest twist of all on air?"

"Fine, whatever," Gwen scoffed, "what's the next question?"

"Next question? Oh no," Milton chuckled, "this isn't some boring talk show where I bombard you with inquiry after inquiry."

He stood up, gesturing to the audience.

"Our fans want more, and I'm going to give it to them!"

The crowd cheered in approval.

"Did you honestly think tonight's main event was going to be you sitting around answering questions?" He asked, snickering as if this were the funniest thing he had heard all day, "No- in just a bit, you're all going to be at each other's throats!"

Now it was Gwen's turn to laugh.

"Oh really?" She smirked, "How do you figure that? Most of us here are friends, in case you forgot!"

"Oh, I haven't," Milton said, "but it seems you've forgotten something. On the the one-hundredth episode special of Camp TV, the contestants all had some of their most personal secrets revealed. So I figured, hey, why should you guys miss out on the fun?"

The seven guests began to look at each other in worry.

"You see, it turns out most of you have something to hide," Milton chuckled, "something you don't want anyone else to know. One by one, I'm going to reveal those secrets, and then to top it off, I'm offering the winner of tonight's little event the chance to re-enter Camp TV!"

The crowd exploded into applause.

"That's right- you'll be put back into the game already knowing the alliances, schemers, and secrets... and you'll be given the chance to use that knowledge to shape the game anyway you want!"

Duncan slowly stood up.

"Okay. I'll bite. What's the 'event'?"

"Oh, we'll get to that. But first, sit back down," Milton ordered.

Duncan scowled, but took his seat. Milton grinned, adjusting his suit before walking out on stage, holding a few index cards.

"On these cards are the secrets you don't want anyone to know," Milton smiled, "of course, one or two of you 'moral paragons' are clean, but most of you have your secrets. Duncan, since you were so eager before, we'll start with you. You'd say you've reformed your ways, right?"

"That's right," he nodded.

"Well... why don't we let some never before seen confessional tapes be the judge of that?" Milton smirked. He gestured to the screen, which lit up, revealing a confessional from the fourth season.

CONFESSIONAL: Duncan

Pfft. Cody and Gwen? Come on. He's nice and all, but he's a total geek. She can do so much better.

CONFESSIONAL: Duncan

So far my alliance is looking pretty solid. I just can't believe what a coward DJ is sometimes. I'm worried he'll drag me down with him.

END CONFESSIONALS

Everyone turned, glaring at Duncan.

"...I... What?" He snapped, "I was having a bad day?"

"I can do better, huh?" Gwen snarled, "What, with a troll like you?"

"I wouldn't get so high and mighty, Gwen," Milton smiled, "after all, you've got the most to hide out of everyone."

"What are you... wait. You don't mean-"

"Oh, I do," he smiled.

Milton walked over to his desk, holding up a stack of papers.

"Who could forget last season when you made your dramatic confession- you suffered from a heart condition! And despite that, you performed well in challenges, even taking the million dollar reward... yes, you performed well. Very well for someone supposedly sick."

Gwen began to sweat.

"Unfortunately I cannot reveal the contents of these documents due to confidentiality issues," Milton sighed.

Gwen let out a sigh of relief.

"...however," Milton smirked, "I can confirm that, if she indeed had the heart condition she claimed to have, she would not have qualified as a contestant on our show."

The crowd went silent. Cody, eyes wide in disbelief, turned to her.

"G... Gwen? Did you... did you really lie?" He asked.

Gwen said nothing, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"So here's the deal, Gwenny," Milton smirked, "either you lied and forged medical documents to get accepted on to our show, or you lied to your cast mates to win their support. You need to admit to one of them. Because if you lied to the studio, well, we have rights to revoke your winnings. So you better fess up now, otherwise we'll have no choice but to take the prize money back."

All eyes were on Gwen. She looked around nervously, unsure of what to do or say. Everything was silent, until Cody asked, "Did you... really lie?"

Gwen was quiet before letting out a sigh and hanging her head.

"It's true... I lied."

There was a pause, before the crowd slowly began to boo. It wasn't long before the entire audience was taking part, while Milton sat back in his chair, a smug smile on his face.

"You actually LIED about that?" Duncan demanded, "How could you?"

Courtney looked at Gwen in disgust.

"That's... I can't believe you would..."

"I'm sorry!" Gwen exclaimed, "I just- I thought- Cody, I-"

Cody, however, had already stormed off of the stage. Milton watched him go, amused.

"Looks like Cody misses out on the rest of the show."

Gwen got to her feet to go follow him, but security quickly escorted her back to her seat.

"Oh, I don't think so. You don't get to take the cowardly way out," Milton scolded, "now, why don't you just strap in and enjoy the next segment?"

"Really?" Noah frowned, "After everything that happened you expect us to just sit here and-"

Milton sighed, shaking his head.

"Please. Will you listen to yourself? 'Mememememe'- shut up!" He huffed, "It isn't all about you. No, we have an audience that needs entertaining!"

This was, of course, met with a cheer.

"Now that we've stirred the pot with the contestants, I'd like to let things dinner before we move on to the main event," explained Milton, "in the meantime, let's move on to the next segment- 'Can You Ship It?'"

Two interns carries a large, colorful wheel in. On it were pictures of the eliminated contestants, as well as a handful of other people and painful-looking inanimate objects.

"Here's how the game works," Milton said, "we give the wheel two spins. Say it lands on Duncan the first time. Whoever- or whatever- it lands on the second time, will be locked in a room with Duncan, and we'll see the sparks fly!"

"Yeah, I have a question," Noah frowned, "what if it lands on an inanimate object twice?"

"Ha ha... yeah, that won't happen. Anyway, let's get started!" Milton walked over, giving the wheel a spin. The pointer went and went, before slowing to a stop over Lance's photo.

"...god damn it," he sighed.

"LANCE!" Milton announced, "And who's your new beau..?"

Another spin from the wheel, and the pointer landed on a picture of Tammy.

"...wait a sec. Ain't that the paranoid girl who got voted out first last season?" Lance asked.

"Yes. Yes it is. Interns!"

Two interns came, and escorted Lance away.

"Okay, let's see who's next."

This time, the wheel landed on Duncan.

"Duncan! And... A cactus!"

"...you've got to be kidding me," Duncan sighed.

"I am not, sir. Interns?"

Again, Duncan was dragged off in the same direction as Lance.

"Alright folks- time for one last spin!"

On the first go, the wheel landed on Courtney. Not knowing what to expect, she gulped, crossing her fingers as the wheel was spy a second time. It went round and round, before finally landing on-

"- a TRUCK?" Courtney exclaimed.

"Ohh, I was hoping it would land on that one," Milton smirked as Courtney was taken away.

Once she was gone, he stood up and addressed the audience.

"Okay folks, you've seen the pairings! We're about to cut to a quick commercial, but once we get back, we'll see how we'll things are getting along!"

~o.0.o~

The audience applauded, and the camera cut to commercial.

"Coming this summer... for the first time ever on DVD..."

A shot of a car tearing down the street was shown. It flew down the road before crashif into a lamppost- moments later, a drunken young man staggered out.

"Season one of Washed Up Celebrity Meltdowns!"

Another clip rolls, this time of a young starlet lunging on top of a reporter and beating him mercilessly.

"Relive all of your favorite moments from our probably critically acclaimed first season, as well as director commentary, and celebrity interviews!"

The camera cut to a man sitting across from Glimmer- at least until she suddenly lunges out of her chair, grabbing his hair and shoving his face into the wall. She's clearly about to do much worse, however is pulled away by security at the last second.

"Available soon at a DVD store near you!"

~o.0.o~

The camera soon turned back to Milton, who was sitting at his desk.

"Okay, that's it for our commercials- time to see how our participants are fairing!"

Milton turned to the large screen, which flicked on to reveal Lance and Tammy sitting in a room together.

"W...who are you?" Tammy asked, "Did the government send you to kill me?"

"Uhhh, no. Milton-"

"OH GOD, MILTON SENT YOU TO KILL ME?"

"No no no. Milton thought it would be a good idea to lock us in a room together," Lance explained.

"But... why?" Tammy asked, "INTERROGATION? You're here to interrogate me, aren't you!"

"I think the idea was for us to make out, or somethin'."

"To... to TRANSFER YOUR MICROCHIPS THROUGH MY BLOODSTREAM!"

"Love of god."

The screen changed to Duncan, who was sitting in a room, bored, a cactus behind him.

"...come on. It's a cactus. What were you expecting?" He complained.

Once again, the camera switched- this time, to a brief flash of Courtney running through the parking lot as a truck chased her.

"Heheheh," Vevo snickered, "that's awesome."

The camera turned once more to Lance- this time, Tammy was mid rant.

"Do you know WHY he wanted this season to be on that boat? To get rid of the evi-"

"Haha, okay!" Milton exclaimed, turning off the television, "I think that's enough for this round! Interns, bring them on back!"

Within a few minutes, the three contestants were back in their seats.

"Ahem, right. Now to our main event!"

Milton clapped his hands, and six wooden fighting staffs were brought out.

"So here's the deal. I'll call you up, two at a time. You'll each grab a staff, and try to knock your opponent off the stage. Whoever wins moves on to the final round with the toe other winners. Now, ladies first- Gwen and Courtney!"

The two took their positions, grabbing their weapons, before charging at each other. The two exchanged a few blows- Courtney fighting more out of anger for being lied to, Gwen so she could get back in the game and avoid facing those who she lied to. Well, the ones that KNEW she lied, anyway.

Courtney suddenly rushed forward, raising the staff over her had, but Gwen managed to duck, stepping out of the way and tripping her. Courtney stumbled, before tripping and falling off the stage.

"Bravo," Milton smirked as Gwen returned to her seat, "next up... Noah and Duncan!"

The fight didn't last long. With Duncan still on crutches, it was only a matter of time before Noah took advantage, hitting his crutch out from under him so he lost balance and tumbled off. All that left, of course, was Lance and Vevo. Their fight was perhaps the most intense- it was the one driven most by malice. After they exchanged blows for a while, Vevo shoved Lance down, beginning to hit him mercilessly. After he was satisfied, he kicked Lance off of the stage, while Milton watched with a satisfied smile.

"Congratulations to the three remaining competitors," Milton smirked, "please, take your places once more."

Noah and Courtney joined Vevo on stage.

"Now- the three of you will duel, and the one person left will make it back into the show. But before we begin, I'd like to ask you- if given the opportunity to re-enter the game, what will you do with it?"

"I'm going to expose Justin, Finn, Heather- and everything they've been doing," Noah frowned, "after that I could care less about how far I make it in!"

"I'm going to use what I know about those guys, alright," Vevo agreed, "but not to get them eliminated- a little blackmail and I'll finally be in the finals!"

Courtney opened her mouth, but Milton cut her off.

"No one cares what you have to say, sweetie. Now, begin!"

Courtney was immediately shoved off the stage by Vevo, who smirked as she fell to the ground. He slowly turned to Noah, brandishing his weapon.

"Sorry, but I'm not letting you take this chance from me," he said, before charging forward and smashing the staff into Noah's knee.

Noah staggered back, wincing, until Vevo struck again, smashing him in the other knee, and delivering a few blows to the midsection. Noah fell on his back, and Vevo was immediately on top of him, pummeling him over and over again with various strikes. This continued until Vevo recieved a tap on the shoulder. He turned his face, scowling, only to see Courtney holding up a perfume bottle. She sprayed a generous dose in his face, causing him to choke and rub his eyes, giving Noah the perfect amount of time to recover- and shove him off of the stage.

"NOAH WINS IT!" Milton cheered.

The host walked out to the center of the stage, raising Noah's arm.

"And it looks like Noah will be given one more chance- is what I would say if you were actually rejoining the game!"

"Wait- what?" Noah blinked, before turning on Milton. "You promised!"

"Well, it just wouldn't be fair," Milton shrugged, "you did have to have Courtney intervene on your behalf, after all."

Milton turned, and began walking away.

"Besides," he continued, "what good would it be for the ratings if you got Justin and those others eliminated? Sort of an anti-climax, wouldn't you say?"

"You... you-" Noah stammered, his face becoming red.

"I'm afraid that's all we have time for," Milton smiled, turning back to the audience, "but of course, we always like to leave our viewers with a few questions:"

"Should Cody leave Gwen for lying to everyone?

Who IS the most manipulative contestant on the show?

Who do you think will win?

Who do YOU ship?

And just how does Milton look so strikingly handsome on all occasions?

Let us know, and we'll see you next time!"

(A/N: a bit short, a bit odd, but hey- update! Just some quick news for you guys, I am officially OFF hiatus. The double update is... Sorta still happening. I know it sounds stupidly ambitious, but I'm planning on updating CTV, OTA, and RR all at once. The reason for this is that I may have a guest writer to help do the next episode. I won't say anymore on that yet because, well, things happen. I'm hoping however that this will help me get a slew of content out to you guys in a short period of time. I WILL finish this series. I have too much time invested into it not to. Either way, I hope you enjoyed the revelations in this episode- and please feel free to answer those questions above!

I will however provide you with a few details about what I have planned in the near future:

The Gravity Falls special is at hand- and after that, watch as two antagonists set their sights on each other, and another manages to get their revenge. Until then, however, I hope you had fun reading, an I'll see you next time!)