Disclaimer: none of the characters belong to me.
Note: this is supposed to happen right after episode 24 of Brotherhood but, of course, in the night before the events of episode 25. I'm aware I might have made some mistakes with the timeline but, I hope this all made some kind of sense.
When they were finally alone, Roy exploded. Riza knew he had been too quiet since they left the forest, he was obviously thinking about something. He felt guilty.
"Let's go back".
"No" Riza said.
"Edward and that boy are alone with that... Monster!"
"I know" Riza said calmly, closing her apartment's door behind her. "Alphonse is with them too. And you are not going". Roy was furious. His eyes were burning with rage, something that would have scared literally everyone else, but not Riza.
"Let me get out".
"No. You can't fight like that".
"You forget who you're talking to" Roy was almost spitting the words. He didn't mention the fact that thing, whatever it was had eaten his flames. Riza was still calmed and her expression was cold. She took off her jacket. During that second she didn't look at him, he had taken the gloves he always kept in the entrance of her house for emergencies.
"You're not going". Riza put herself in front of the door.
"I can't leave them alone! This is all my fault. He wanted me and they are cleaning my mess".
"They know what they're doing, colonel". Her tone was the one of when she was working: serious, professional and emotionless.
She truly believed Ed and Al knew how to take care of themselves. Yet she was very worried -but of course she didn't show it to Roy, he was simply hysterical. And she knew he couldn't fight. "Bullets are useless and you are seriously injured. There's nothing we can do. They'll manage it".
"Oh, please. Don't try to lie to me. They are just kids after all. They don't have to go and suffer because of what I did". Roy clenched his fist. "I'm going. Even if you don't want".
"Over my dead body".
Roy stared at her. Then he took her by the shoulders and tried to push her aside. She stood still, now she was furious, not just because of what he had just tried to do.
"Don't touch me with those things" she said, slowly, in a deep an angry tone. So angry, Roy seemed to go back to reality. He opened his eyes, realizing what he had just done.
Her eyes were now cold as ice, so cold it hurt, so cold it cut right through his skin like a knife. Riza only had one rule, but it was a golden one: he could not touch her bare skin with the gloves on under any circumstance and he should not wear them under her roof unless it was absolutely necessary. And he had broken both parts of the rule in less than a minute. She was so angry she felt like punching him for a second.
He lowered his eyes.
"I'm sorry".
"Take them off". He did it, though he didn't like the idea.
"And what are we going to do? Stay here and wait?"
"Yes". Riza put the key and advanced to the living room. Roy followed her.
"We can't just do that!"
"Do you think it's easy for me? I've watch those kids grow too. I know who they are, I know what could happen to them. I lived what happened with the other woman. I don't want them to live this but here we are. And they will do it. They are survivors, they'll know what to do".
"But this is all-" Riza hit the table, making Black Hayate lift his head to see what happened.
"Don't you understand? They want to help you! This is their life too, they are involved in this too. This isn't all about you!" Riza still spoke softly, but her words were loud just for themselves. "You can't fight, accept it now, they are just trying to help".
"Yes, but it is my business too and I am so tired of being useless when people need me the most" Roy shouted. Riza stared at him as she sat on a chair. Roy was losing his temper but she was different when she got angry. When he did he was like a bomb, he exploded making noises and destroying everything around. However, her way of showing anger was cold and sharp hardness.
"You're not useless. You will be useless if you die. Trust them".
"They are fighting an homunculus, it's not a piece of cake exactly".
"You killed one".
"But she almost killed me. And Havoc". He clenched his fists again. Riza did the same.
"They will be fine. After all Ed is one of the best alchemists this country has seen". Riza tensed her jaw. She was still trying to convince herself that everything would be alright. Roy sighted. He put one hand on his hip and while with the other one he scratched his forehead.
"But he's just a boy. Just a boy-". He moaned and touched his belly. Riza immediately stood up to check him. He said it was fine but she insisted. She saw what time it was. It was time to clean the wound anyway.
"Get off your shirt" she said.
"It's not time to think about sexy stuff, Lieutenant". She rolled her eyes. He tried to laugh but he could barely breathe.
"Is it hurting?" he nodded. She helped him to sit on the sofa after he took off his shirt -which casually fell on poor Black Hayate's head.
"Sorry, boy" Riza said. She went to the bathroom to wash her hands and get her first aid kit.
She went back to the living room ant told Roy in a very authoritarian tone:
"Open your legs" something he must have found terribly funny because he started laughing breathlessly -a laugh that soon turned into coughing. She removed the pieces of white cloth that were covering the wound. It sure was an ugly scar. He had sealed with fire to prevent himself from dying of blood loss. The thing is when he had finally gone to the hospital they had to made a little, big mess to cure such a deep wound.
"Now it matches the ones on my back" Riza said sadly, as she cleaned the burned area. He made a grimace. She gave him a soft kiss near the wound, as Roy passed his fingers through her hair. Then she put him a new gauze and closed the first aid kit.
"It looks like we're connected by fire after all", he added in a whisper.
He invited her to sit on him. She didn't want to hurt him, so she did it slowly. Roy stared at her for a long time. His eyes pierced right into Riza, they tore her apart, like they knew every secret she could ever keep. Those dark eyes stripped her from everything, from her very body, just to leave her essence, an essence -she was sure- he knew better than herself.
"Let me watch you back" he asked after a while. He said that sometimes. Riza never fully understood why he said so, why such a thing meant so much to him. She thought it must be something symbolic. He had let her watch his back, now he asked the same. Maybe he just wanted to know if she still trusted him like when they were younger. Most of times, he just stared at her back and didn't say a word. Other times, he went across her tattos and scars with his fingers. He even cried occasionally and Riza always wondered why it was so important for him. Once, she even thought it was because of alchemy but then she discovered that, even if she didn't fully understood, that was just another way in which Roy loved her. She was sure that she made a lot of little things that he didn't understand neither, but that was her way to show her love. And she thought it was fascinating and beautiful how varied, yet quiet, the language of love can be.
She stood up and took his hand. She helped him to go to her bedroom and there, she partially closed the door. That way, Black Hayate would know he could not enter. She invited him to sit on her bed.
This was a whole ritual for him. First he put his hands around her waist. Then she started to undo her shirt -or dress if she was wearing one- and right before she finished, Roy gave her a kiss and finished for her. Then she put her hair aside, turned and he untied her bra as she sat or sometimes laid on bed.
They loved their little rituals. Riza's one was in the morning. She always woke up first, so to wake up Roy she always did exactly the same: she used her fingers to go all the way from his neck to the end of his spine. Then she kissed him on the neck, she bit his ear and she said "good morning colonel". He always moaned because he always wanted to sleep a little more, so she hugged him from behind, trapping him between her legs and arms, bit his lip or neck and passionately kissed him before saying "Fuhrers wake up early".
"They do look alike" Roy said, caressing her scars, as he touched his own wound. He laughed, but it was a sad laugh. "Maybe you're right after all and this is all what fire alchemy is useful for". Riza knew he was bitter. She was too. But everything was bitter enough, and her bedroom... Her bedroom was their sacred place, they couldn't let all that bitterness just get in so easily.
"Please, don't say that. Not here. Not now, not after all this years". Roy smiled, still sad. He laid his head upon her shoulder and kissed her cheek.
"You're right. This is not the right place for that. But still- How long can we keep running?"
"It'd be our fault for have started running in the first place. But we are not running. We are doing everything we can. If you get killed you'll do nothing".
He nodded.
"But I still feel like a coward for running away tonight".
"There was nothing else you could do" Riza insisted. She turned to him and caressed his cheek. "Don't torture yourself. My job is to keep you safe, we did all we could do". She was trying so bad to convince him that he was doing the right thing, that he wasn't useless. And at the same time she was still telling herself over and over they will be alright, they will be alright.
"I will never forgive myself if anything happens to them, Riza". He almost never called her Riza. She was surprised by that but he looked just miserable. She perfectly understood what he meant, how he felt. She decided the best option was trying to make him feel less guilty. It wasn't his fault after all. She was very worried about Edward, but deep inside she knew he would be fine. He had been through too much just to die now... That's what whe thought.
"They'll be fine. Now you better sleep for a while" Roy made a strange noise with his teeth and he shivered. Riza wasn't sure if it was out of fear or out of anger. Maybe it was both. "What's the matter?"
"I can't get her out of my head" he confessed. It took Riza a second to realize who he was talking about. He meant Lust, of course. "Those eyes, that smell- it follows me wherever I go, in my dreams. I know she's dead, but-" he gasped "I don't want to see her yet another night and feel that pain again and see all that bood... I call the hospital every morning just to check that Jean is actually alive and that it was all a dream. It feels so real, like it's happening again-"
He was looking down, as if he was either annoyed with himself or ashamed for what he had just said. Riza took his hands.
"I've had nightmares too. I thought I lost you. When that guy said-" Riza couldn't even repeat those words "That I felt the whole world fell on my shoulders. I just lost it. I couldn't protect Al, I couldn't even move. I thought I'd die right there". She tried to smile. He deserved a smile after all. "But here we are. We are stronger than that, Roy. We are stronger than them. Al proved it to me during that night. You did too".
He smiled back.
"Yes we are, Lieutenant". She kissed him, or maybe he kissed her but that was not the important thing. They held each other and inmediatly fell asleep. They only slept a couple of hours, but they had no nightmares.
Final notes: As always I tell you -and you might have noticed- I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sure there are mistakes so it would be very nice of you if you notify me so I can correct them for the next time. I hope you like this. All reviews are very welcome :)