Yay! Love this chapter. It took like twice as long as I thought it would to edit, but hey *Grins* it's still on time. Not to mention, I think you all will really enjoy the way this chapter ends. Enough talk; I hope you enjoy the special mid-week update.

Syaoran's POV

The last Sunday of October started out fairly normal for me. I got up, the same as I do every other morning, and did martial arts training before grabbing a quick bite to eat and jumping in the shower. Pretty normal stuff. Up until Wei walks into the living room while I'm watching t.v. and says, "Syaoran-sama, shouldn't you get changed? Sakura-sama is to be here at nine, correct? That's less than five."

"What?" I eyes dart to where the clock hangs on the wall. The big hand sits just past the eleven. "Crap," I spring to my feet and bolt down the hall.

Damn it. How the heck did this happen? It was eight when I sat down in front of the t.v. That was less than half an hour ago... Wasn't it?

I grab my toothbrush, and in my haste, almost send the entire glob from the brush into the sink before it can reach my mouth.

Beep! At the sound of the doorbell, I rinse my mouth so quickly that I can still taste the foam on my tongue. "I've got it!" I'm halfway to the door when I realize something. Crap! Where the hell is my shirt? Groaning, I turn back around and rush to my room. "Never mind; don't got it!"

Gah! I nearly run into Wei on my way back down the hall. "Can you get the door?"

"Of course," Wei says after me.

"Thanks, I'll just be a second."

Once in my room, I throw the closet door open. "Shirt, shirt, shirt... Where are all of my t-shirts?" Of course, my hamper is full of exactly what I need. Do I really want to re-wear a shirt when Sakura is here? Damn it, I'm a guy; this really shouldn't be an issue. Stupid- yet not at all stupid, because she's totally wonderful and perfect and everything else that I'm not about to name since it would take to long and be way too embarrassing- Sakura.

In the end I grab a clean, button-up, long-sleeved shirt from its hanger and pull my arms through the sleeves as I briskly walk down the hall once more. Entering the living room with the bottom three buttons done, I find Sakura and Wei conversing just off the hallway to the door.

Wei is the first to become aware of my presence. Sakura follows his gaze, and when her eyes land on me, they don't look at my face, but my semi-exposed chest. Wide eyed and completely flushed, Sakura quickly averts her gaze and brings up her hand to block out her peripheral.

That just made my day.

"Sorry. Lost track of time." Yeah, not sorry at all. That reaction was priceless.

A now red-faced Sakura says, "Clearly."

"Syaoran-sama," Wei scolds.

"What?" I feign innocence.

"You taint a young maiden's eyes. Can't you see that you're making poor Sakura-sama uncomfortable?"

"Oh, come on. She has an older brother, for crying out loud. I'm sure she's seen much worse."

"Yeah, but you aren't my brother!" Sakura yells, glaring at me, then she sees I've made little progress with the shirt and turns around again. "Would you hurry up?"

I'm tempted to tease her, but with Wei watching, I'd rather not. He already has enough against me in terms of my feelings for Sakura. No reason to give him any more.

"Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses; I'm almost... Done." I leave the top two undone and roll up the cuffs.

Sakura cautiously peeks through her fingers before finally facing me. "Good."

"Sakura-sama." She gives Wei her full attention. "Before the two of you start studying, how would you like to help me bake some cookies?"

Sakura's eyes light up and she gasps excitedly. Clasping her hands together, she says, "I'd love to! Are they for a special occasion?"

Wei shakes his head. "I thought it might be nice to spend some time catching up with you since you're here." Directed at me, he asks, "You don't mind if I borrow her, do you?"

Sakura turns to me again with pleading eyes. Why is this my decision? Oh, right. Sakura is a guest at my house as well as my 'student', and Wei is my butler. With a sigh, I simply say, "Go ahead."

Sakura grins. "Awesome. So, what kind of cookies are we going to make?"

"Hey." She looks at me again, slightly less hyperactive. "Don't forget that we're still going to study afterwards."

"I know, I know," she waves me off. "I have so many things I want to talk to you about," she says to Wei.

"In that case," he gestures for her to lead the way, "let's get started."

Sakura's POV

In the kitchen, Wei expertly cracking eggs while I measure the flour. We've been in the here cheerfully conversing for about ten minutes now. Then, out of nowhere, Wei asks, "How has your family been?"

The question makes me tense up. "They're... Alright."

Wei pauses with an egg in his hand. "That doesn't sound very convincing."

Placing the measuring cup down, I lean on the counter. "I almost forgot how good you are at reading people, Wei-san. You're right; we haven't been 'alright' since mom was diagnosed with cancer."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I don't say anything. "It's alright if you don't. I know it's hard for you."

"No, it's just... I don't really talk about it much. Most of the time people are too afraid to ask. The ones that do aren't always very understanding."

"There's no judgment here." I give him a small smile.

"I know." I bend over and rest my elbows on the counter so that I can run my fingers through my hair. "Truth is, Touya and I have had to support ourselves and our father. After mom passed away, dad started drinking. It actually ended up getting him fired from his job. That was maybe six months after the funeral. Ever since, Touya and I have had to find work in order to pay all the bills."

"By yourselves? Why not ask one of your relatives for help? Miss Daidouji is your cousin, is she not?"

I nod. "Tomoyo is technically my second cousin, but I was never comfortable with asking her or her mother for financial support."

"I see." Wei doesn't say anything for a moment, and then finally asks, "So all of these years you and your brother have been working and going to school at the same time? Isn't that-"

"No," I interrupt. "I'm sorry." Looking over at him, I nod my head in a silent apology. "But no. Touya dropped out of school his senior year so that he would have more hours and I'd be able to focus more on my studies." There's a lump in my throat. "He was trying to give me the best chance at life that he could, but-" I clamp my hand down over my mouth and turn away as a sob grips at my being. "I'm sorry."

Suddenly I feel Wei's hand on my back. "Don't be." He rubs circles between my shoulder blades.

"Wei!" My body stiffens. No, no, no. Don't come in here. Please, do not let him come in here. I don't want him see me like this. "Do you know where I put the-" Syaoran's voice dies in his throat. My silent prayers go unanswered as I hear his footsteps stop just a few feet away.

Using the counter for support, I try to stop my body from trembling and steady my breaths, but it doesn't seem to work. "Sakura!" I hear him cross the kitchen until he's right next to me, covering my hand with his and reaching out to brush my hair aside. As I close my eyes so that I can't see him, more tears spill over. "Sakura, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Rapidly shading my head, I choke out in a trembling voice, "I'm fine." Although I feel an overwhelming urge to lean against him, I pull away. Slipping my hand out from beneath his, I back away, nearly running into Wei. "Sorry," I mutter. "Excuse me." I give a brief bow and rush off down the hall until I reach the bathroom where I shut myself inside and try to regain control.

Syaoran's POV

"What happened? Is she alright?" I watch, panicked, as Wei turns to me heavy-heartedly.

"I asked her something that was hard for her to talk about. She's going to be alright. She just needs some time to herself right now."

I look past him to where Sakura disappeared mere seconds earlier. So she's not hurt, then. That's a relief. With the way she was crying, I though for sure something must have happened.

My eyes travel to Wei once more. What had they been talking about that would have Sakura break down like that?

A few minutes later, Sakura returns to the kitchen. She pauses in the doorway and looks at us with a reassuring smile that is clearly forced. "Sorry about that. I'm fine now, though; I promise." She steps up to the counter.

"Is it alright if we continue?" Wei simply nods. Next thing I know, her eyes are on me, watching almost as if she's waiting for me to say something. Somehow I get the impression that she's wary of my presence. Then, very casually, she asks, "Do you want to help?"

Shoot. Once again, I didn't even realize that I've just been standing here when I'm supposed to be moving. "No, that's alright. I'll leave both of you to it." Wasting no time, I exit the room. I stop when I'm just a few steps down the hall, though.

From the kitchen, I hear Wei's kind, low voice ask, "Are you sure you're going to be alright, Sakura-sama?"

After a moment, Sakura replies. "Yeah. I'm sorry if I'm troubling you. There was a," she pauses, "family emergency a few days ago. Ever since, it just feels like my entire world is crumbling apart. I'd rather not talk about it, though."

"I see." There's a shuffling sound. "Sakura-sama, I may not know all the details, but I will tell you this: there will always be times in your life when it feels like the entire universe is against you, but in reality, it's not. Things won't ever get any better unless you choose to make them better. It's true that there are some things that we simply can't control, but when you encounter one of those things, you have to remind yourself that you're only human. If there's one thing we're good at, it's fighting back. That said, I'm confident you're going to be just fine, Sakura-sama."

Even though they aren't meant for me, Wei's words hold heavy on my chest. I find myself staring down at the hardwood floors deep in thought.

Sakura's reply is short and sweet. "Thank you."

Sakura's POV

After putting the cookies in the oven, Wei sends me to find Syaoran while he cleans up. I do so very reluctantly. When I find him, he's laying on the couch in the living room with his head resting on a pillow at one end and his feet perched at the other end, one ankle over the other. I almost laugh when I see the book on his face and his arms folded loosely over his torso.

I walk up to him with a sigh. "What are you doing, Syaoran?" My voice is a very soft so that I don't wake him. Leaning over the back of the couch, I carefully pick the book up off of Syaoran's face. Just as I suspected. He's asleep.

Closing the book and placing it just above his arms, I carefully take one of his wrists, lift it up and set it down so that his hand is on top of the book, keeping it in place. Before pulling my arm back, I let my fingers glide across the back of his hand. His skin is so warm that I feel myself instinctively press my palm down on his knuckles.

"Hm." What starts out as a sigh turns into a blissful hum. When we were kids, we used to hold hands all the time. Well, I would hold Syaoran's hand; he would play along. He wasn't a very affectionate person most of the time, whereas I basically treated him like my own, personal, human-sized teddy bear. I must have soaked through over a dozen of his shirts with all the times I cried on his shoulder. He was like my island of salvation. Always there when I needed him; up until he left for Hong Kong. I've never had to wonder why I fell in love with him, because there are a million reasons.

I smile to myself. Those were the good old days. My hand shifts, and I wrap my fingers as far around his hand as they'll reach.

"Guess we aren't kids anymore, are we, Syaoran?" I squeeze his hand.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Holy- A hand darts across Syaoran's body and clamps down around my wrist before I have time to react. My head flicks to the side, and I'm met with alert amber eyes. Alert. Almost as if- The blood rushes to my face.

"How long have you been awake?"

His expression doesn't change. He almost looks curious. "I was never asleep."

Syaoran's grip on my wrist loosens and I eagerly pull away. As I take a step back, Syaoran pushes himself up and sets the book on the table. Then he directs his attention to me, studying me intensely. I feel exposed. Naked. Like he's seeing straight through me into my soul.

"Stop looking at me at like that."

He swings his legs over the side. "What do you mean, 'We aren't kids anymore'?" I step back again as he stands up and faces me.

"Nothing," I lie.

"You were holding my hand," he states incredulously.

I shake my head, looking away. "I wasn't; I was just-"

"Sakura, you can talk to me." He steps around the couch and advances towards me.

"No!" He's wrong. It's just as I said; we aren't kids anymore.

He steps forward, I step back. "Don't!" When he reaches out to take my shoulder, I take one final step away, and my back hits the wall. "Don't touch me!"

"Sakura, it's okay."

"No, it's not!"

"You don't have to shut me out, Sakura." My entire body goes cold. 'You don't have to shut me out'. The words echo through my mind. He's wrong. How could he understand what it feels like? Syaoran doesn't know that pain. The pain of being left behind, unable to do anything to prevent it.

My throat constricts and my breaths become shallow. Not again. I've already had one break down today. Syaoran's voice buzzes in my ears, but my brain won't process the words. I just want it to stop. Stop talking. "Shut up!"

Then I'm flying; running full speed down the hall. I don't even pay attention to where I'm going. As I pass the doorway leading into the kitchen, I catch a glimpse of Wei on his way into the hall- no doubt wondering what the shouting is about. "Sakura-sama," he calls from behind me in alarm. I don't pause or look back.

I've never been this far into the back of Syaoran's apartment before, so with no idea where I'm going anymore, I stop at a random door and enter the room, shoving the door closed behind me. My eyes dart around the room before me. In the forest of green, there's a spot of pink. I turn my head in the direction of the contrasting color and then I see it.

No way.

One step forward.

No way.

Another step.

It can't be...

Three steps.

But I know that it is.

I stop in front of the desk and reach out. My shaky hands wrap around the pink teddy bear. What is this doing here?

Finally, it clicks. The forest green walls, the neatness, the teddy bear... This is Syaoran's room.

Suddenly it's too much. The room, the bear, knowing that the one I once loved is somewhere just beyond the door... I can't breath. Was it always this hot in here? I need to get out. I need to-

"Sakura?" Syaoran's voice travels down the hallway from somewhere beyond the doorway. "Look, I'm sorry. Can we just talk for a minute, please?" Footsteps grow louder and louder. My stomach twists. "Sakura?"

At that moment, I notice the glass sliding doors on the far side of the room. Wasting no time, I stumble forward and pull the door aside. It doesn't budge. After fumbling with the lock, I try again and am met with little resistance.

"Don't tell me you're-"

The door shuts before I can hear him finish. At the same time, though, I see Syaoran appear through the door to the bedroom. He catches sight of me right away. First he looks at my face, tears in my eyes, with a confused look. Then he notices the bear in my arms, and immediately rushes forward. He's right in front of the door with his hand on the handle before I can even blink.

Then I do something both stupid and desperate. I put my left hand on the side of the door opposite the handle. Right at the tiny crack where the two doors overlap. Syaoran immediately stops. He knows as well as I do that if he tries to open this door, my fingers could get caught. I can see it on his face as our eyes meet. My lip trembles. Clutching the bear to my breast, I rest the top of my forehead against the glass and, with my face tilted down, close my eyes and let the tears fall.

All these years and he still has the bear I gave to him. That should make me happy, right? I should be ecstatic. So why does it hurt this much? I can feel my heart breaking all over again. Part of me wishes he'd thrown it away.

"Move your hand, Sakura!" He yells from the other side. His voice is muffled, but still audible. All I can do is shake my head defiantly.

"You should have thrown her-" I stop. No. "It," I correct myself, "away."

"Stop!" The harshness in his voice makes me flinch.

"Sakura!" This time it's not harsh, but twice as urgent. "Please." I can barely hear him now. "Stop shutting me out," he pleads. "I know that it's hard." This time he speaks a bit louder. "I know that it hurts, but if you keep on pushing me away, it's never going to get any better." I think back to what Wei said earlier. 'Things won't ever get any better unless you choose to make them better.'

"You have no idea how much it hurts me to be on the outside looking in. It kills me that you won't let me try to understand. I want to be there for you. Please, Sakura. I'm begging you, just let me in." He sounds so broken. So broken and desperate. Somehow it sounds familiar, like I've heard it before. It hits me very abruptly. That day at the airport when he tried to get me to listen to him, but I was too devastated to think straight. At my abrupt realization, my eyes snap open.

Oh. How did I not see this? Have I really been so blinded by my resentment and self-pity that I haven't even seen what's been right in front of me this entire time?

On the other side of the door, Syaoran is on both knees with his head down and his shoulders hunched. His hands press against the glass. Quickly pulling my hand away from the door, I fall to my knees as well. Now sitting on the patio, I reach up and press both hands to the glass in the same two spots as his, allowing the pink plush to fall onto my lap in the process. I tilt my head to see Syaoran's face, but his bangs hang too low for me to see.

"Syaoran." My voice is gentle, but I speak clearly enough that the sound travels to the other side of the door. He looks up immediately. When he does, I feel overwhelmed. I find myself staring deeply into his eyes, trying to read them, but being so taken my all of the emotions within that I begin to get lost in those shining pools of amber.

We just stare at one another for a moment. It feels like the first time that I'm really seeing him. Once the moment is over, Syaoran's gaze turns to where our hands are perfectly aligned on either side of the glass. A piece of glass; that's all that separates us.

Even though I can't hear him, when Syaoran opens his mouth and his lips move, I know what he's saying. Very slowly, his lips for the words, 'Please, let me in'. So I do.

I reach up and give the door a tug, putting all my body weight into it. With the angle I'm sitting at, the door only opens a crack, but it's enough. I slip both hands into the crack in in the door and push the door the rest of the way aside. As soon as the glass is out of my way, I reach out and pull Syaoran to me before he gets the chance to speak.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Syaoran presses his face into the side of my neck and wraps his arms around me in return. One of my hands holds the back of his head while the other wraps around to his back and holds him to me. "I never realized," I whisper, the weight of the plush toy on my lap suddenly feeling like a barbell, "you've been hurting, too." The arms around me tighten and I'm crushed against my favorite amber eyed boy. There's something about the way his chocolate hair tickles my face that I find oddly comforting.

"Sakura." His breath against my neck makes my head spin. Without warning, he pulls away and brings up his hands to hold my face. I cover his hands with my own and close my eyes as he gently wipes the tears away. "How did we let things get so out of hand?" Syaoran's hands slip from my face and descend to my lap. Taking the gift I once gave to him, he holds it up between us.

"I wish I knew." At that moment, I laugh. It's an awkward, almost forced, laugh, but once I've started, I can't seem to stop. "Kind of makes me wonder."

"Why are you laughing right now?" Despite his words, I can see a smile creeping on his face.

"It's just," I say between laughs, "we're such idiots."

"You got that right," he says, with a hint of humor in his voice.

Smiling tenderly, I look from him to the bear and then reach out and take it from his hands. "You kept her." I bring the pink plush close to my heart and hold it protectively in my arms. "Even after all these years." I lift my head to look at him again. "Why?"

"How could I not?" Embarrassed, Syaoran laughs lightly and reaches up with one hand to cover his face. The action is terribly adorable and I have to resist the urge to throw myself at him again.

Finally, unable to hold back the truth anymore, I ask, "Can I tell you something, Syaoran?"

There's a moment of hesitation where he studies my face; then he agrees.

With my head down, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and quietly admit, "I hate it. Not being able to talk to you like we used to..." My eyes drift half open, and observe my eight-year-old self's needling to make the teddy bear. "Even when it was just random, meaningless conversations, I still miss it. Every time I would see you at school it was like this constant reminder."

"That makes two of us."

My head snaps up. "What do you mean?"

"At school, whenever I would pass you in the halls, you would either glare at me or all out ignore me. It was absolute torture."

I smile again. "Yeah, sorry about that," I giggle. "It seemed well-deserved at the time, though." By 'the time', I'm basically referring to every instance over the past seven years that it's happened.

"That's real comforting," he says sarcastically.

"Whatever," I brush it off. Come to think of it... "Hey, Syaoran, there's one more thing." He awaits for me to continue. "Something I've always wondered about it, but never outright questioned." Now he seems curious, nodding for me to go on, so I do. "Why did you come back?" I ask slowly and earnestly. "Not right after mom died, but the second time."

Syaoran's curiosity wanes into sadness. He seems deep in thought for a moment before saying, "The only reason I went back to Hong Kong after the funeral was because I was trying to give you the space I thought you wanted and needed. I suppose there was a part of me that hoped if I gave you enough time, you'd eventually forgive me." He sighs. "I tried to stay away; really, I did. My mother and Wei both knew I wasn't happy, though."

I imagine a younger Syaoran, alone in Hong Kong, sitting and staring at his homework with a vacant expression. Even though it's a figment of my imagination, I still shiver.

"Other than my family, there was nothing for me in Hong Kong. All of my friends are here in Japan."I feel a pang of guilt. Syaoran was suffering and staying away from all of his friends because of me. Because he didn't want to push me too far when I was already going through hell.

Syaoran takes me by surprise when he smiles and says, "I love both Tomoeda and Hong Kong, but this is where I wanted to grow up. It's where my life is."

I watch his face closely as he says it. It's so heartfelt that I, too, find myself smiling. Then, not caring how he chooses to interpret it, I look him in the eye and say, "I'm glad."

I want you all to know that I'm grinning like an idiot right now. So excited. Although I'm not sure why, because most of you don't comment. But to those of you who do, I'm all hyped up to hear your thoughts.

Oh, and hey! I've got 51 followers right now! How awesome is that?! Anyway, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who have read my story and stuck with it all of this time. It means a lot to me that you all enjoy reading this.

Sincerely yours,

CupCake