Reverse Directions Chapter 8: Special Education, a glee fanfic

Sectionals was this week against Dalton Academy and Crawford Country Day. We had to win this year because if we didn't, Glee club would be over and we couldn't have that. I really wasn't sure what I would be singing at Sectionals. I was really distracted with all of the other stuff that was going on. Lucy still didn't know about what happened with Dani and I had little faith that she would forgive me especially since it was the second time that I had cheated on her. That was when it hit me. Even though it wasn't something that I wanted to do, I had to do it. I was going to do it.

One thing that I was a little bit concerned about the loss of Kurt. We still had enough members to compete, and it was probably unlikely that Kurt would have even gotten a solo, but he could still potentially share our secrets with them. Though, it seemed unlikely since he was only at Dalton Academy because he felt that he had no choice to be.

Will then walked into the room with a piece of paper in his hand. I assumed that he had the set list. I was wearing a black and white sweater dress with white lace tights and black heels.

"Do you think it would be possible to give my solo to someone else?" I requested.

"I wasn't going to give you a solo." He answered. Oh. "We're going to have the winners of our duet competition sing a number this year. I also want to feature Brittany and Mike's sweet dance moves. I've talked the talk about everyone being featured but I haven't lived up to that."

"I think that whatever we perform, we're going to beat those Dalton Douches and those Crawford Cunts." Santana declared. Everyone glared at her. It was like she didn't understand why so many people disliked her.

After school, I knew that I needed to do it. This probably wasn't the best time with Sectionals coming up, but I would just keep making excuses like I didn't want to do it before Christmas or something. I was stringing along a girl that I didn't like as anything more than a friend, even though I had a feeling that we probably wouldn't ever even be friends again. I probably wouldn't want to be friends with me after what I was going to do to her. I was kind of a terrible person and I didn't deserve her anyway.

She came up to me and was about to kiss my lips when I backed away and she noticed the look in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I don't love you." I replied. "I thought maybe I would be able to fall for you again, but I wasn't. After experience the love that I had with Jessa, I just can't love you."

"Faith, you don't have to do this." She argued.

"I do." I declared. "I cheated on you. I slept with this girl from Crawford Country Day twice, but it didn't help with the pain. I realized that I just need to end it. You know I used to think that we would get married some day when it's legal and probably have at least one more kid, but it's not going to happen anymore. I'm sorry."

I then went home and began to sing to myself. It was more like I was singing to myself than anything or at least from her point of view.

Say you're sorry that face of an angel comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on the days drag on
Stupid girl I should have known I should have known

That I'm not a princess, this aint a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off your feet, lead her up the stairwell
This aint Hollywood, this is a small town I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

And there you are on your knees begging for forgive, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this aint a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday you might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town, there is my rearview mirror disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now
Oh try and catch me now, it's too late to catch me now

I then began to cry in front of Beth. She looked like she didn't understand what was going on. It was at that point that my mom came into the room.

"Faith, what's wrong?" She asked in concern.

"I broke up with Lucy." I explained. "I didn't love her and I just wanted it to be over."

"So what does this mean that you don't love girls?" She questioned. I couldn't help but be annoyed by the question, but she was only trying to help.

"No, I'm still a lesbian. I love someone else." I explained. "Before you came back, I dated a girl named Jessa. She goes to UCLA now and she's not coming back and I can't love anyone else. I don't think I'll ever be able to love any other girl."

"Sweetie, you're young. You'll be able to find someone else." She declared. She was just trying to help, but she didn't understand the love that I had for Jessa. It made me want to run away to California sometimes.

On Saturday, the competition started. I paced back and forth. I was nervous even though I wasn't even singing. I was surprised that Lucy even wanted to see me after what I had done to her. I had broken heart once again. I supposed it was ironic that it was almost a year to the day of our last breakup. The two of us just weren't meant to be together.

Of course it seemed like we weren't the only who had tension between us. There was something weird going on between Mike, Artie, Brittany, and Tina. Apparently there was this rumor of an affair between Mike and Brittany, which I happened to think was ridiculous. I was pretty sure that Mike wouldn't cheat on Tina. Now Brittany, on the other hand, I wasn't sure if she even knew what monogamy was.

We would be performing last yet again, but I was sure that we wouldn't have to deal with the other teams knowing what we would be performing. I was currently wearing a sleeveless gradient dress and black leggings.

Crawford Country Day was performing first and I couldn't help but notice that Dani winked at me as she walked on stage. It was at that time that I considered transferring to Crawford Country Day. There really wasn't anything keeping me at McKinley…wait there was. It was Will. I didn't want to let him down. Even though I would be single and alone, I would still feel okay having him as a teacher.

Anyway, Dani happened to be playing an electric guitar while the other girls backed her up.

According to you, I'm stupid, I'm useless I can't do anything right
According to you, I'm difficult, hard to please forever changing my mind
I'm a mess in a dress can't show up on time even if it would save my life
According to you, according to you

But according to him I'm beautiful incredible he can't get me out of his head
According to him, I'm funny irresistible, everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite, I don't feel like stopping it, tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not according to you

Need to feel appreciated, I'm not hated oh no
It's too bad that you're making me decide, why can't you see me through his eyes

But according to me, you're stupid, you're useless you can't do anything right

According to you, I'm stupid, I'm useless, I can't do anything right

They were kind of better than I expected them to be. I didn't know that we could play instruments during the competition. I hadn't ever seen a girl play guitar like she had. It was a little bit hot, but I knew that I didn't want to go there again. I just wanted to wallow in being single. Even though I didn't have a girlfriend, I did have a lot of good things going for me.

The Warblers were performing after us and it looked Kurt wasn't going to be singing. There really wasn't a lot of place for a high-singing white guy in the world of music, unless they look like Justin Timberlake, which Kurt definitely did not. Anyway, the song was sung all the way through, even though the verse was usually rapped, which was a little weird.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now

They ended up singing the verse instead of rapping.

I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back a place much simpler than this
After all the party and the smashing and crashing
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time when you fade to the blackness
And when you're staring at the phone in your lap
And you're hoping but the people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel in the sand
What would you wish for if you had one chance

So airplane, airplane sorry I'm late I'm on my way so don't close that gate
If I don't make that then I switch my flight and I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

After they were done, it came time for us to perform. We had a few minutes backstage and I couldn't help but notice that everyone seemed to be arguing with each other.

"Enough with the bickering." Will declared. "Whatever you're dealing with, you need to put it aside long enough to get through this performance. There is no way that we can beat the other teams if we can't stop fighting amongst ourselves. Now go out there and sing."

Sadie and Sam were leading off with a duet. They would be starting in the crowd before coming to the stage.

I remember what you wore on the first day, you came into my life and I thought hey
You know this could be something
Cause everything you do and word you say, you should nothing that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face, the way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
Cause when I close my eyes and drift away, I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

The next song was being sung by Puck while Brittany and Mike danced. I hoped that the judges would like their dancing.

Let me know that I've done wrong when I've known this all along
I go around a time or two just to waste my time with you
Tell me all that you've thrown away, find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
Just another regret, hope that you can keep it
My dirty little secret who has to know

When we live such fragile lives, it's the best we survive
I go around a time or two just to waste my time with you
Tell me all that you've thrown away, find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
Just another regret, hope that you can keep it
My dirty little secret who has to know

The way she feels inside, those thoughts I can't deny
These sleeping dogs won't lie and now I try to lie but it's eating me apart
Trace this lie back

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
Just another regret, hope that you can keep it
My dirty little secret, dirty little secret, dirty little secret
Who has to know, who has to know

The competition ended up being a tie between us and The Warblers. I didn't know that they could do that. It was almost like they wanted to see more of the Warblers for some reason. All I knew was that when we were done, I went home to cry some more.

So Faith and Lucy are done for good, but will Jessa come back? The songs in this chapter are "White Horse" by Taylor, "According to You" by Orianthi, "Airplanes" (The Ready Set Cover), "Two is Better than One" by Boys Like Girls and Taylor, and "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects. Please don't forget to review.