I'm so glad you guys seem to like this story! I was really nervous about it! I promise things will go better as the story continues. Sometimes, you gotta cover the basics. I also enjoy your opinions on how Joker will be as a dad. I'm surprised that you guys can see him being a good one, but we'll wait and see! Enjoy x

"Puddin'? Can you please come here?"

That's how many of Harley's sentences started anymore. It had been almost eight months since they found out the news they'd be parents, and the Joker was surprised he lasted this long. Harley complained and cried more than ever, her mood changed, and she also needed him. If he really wanted to, he'd kill her, but he always stopped himself. Especially because Ivy still watched to see how awful he'd be as a dad.

The worst part of all of it was that he didn't commit as much chaos as usual. He was almost always forced to stay with Harley. On some occasions he'd leave the hyenas to care for her. He needed to do what he did best, of course!

Those days, he'd come back with Harley standing there. Her arms crossed over her now growing stomach (though not too much.) She'd narrow her blue eyes and sneer.

"How dare you?! You can't get your psychotic little butt thrown back in Arkham! I ain't gonna even try to break ya out!" She'd continue to scream and complain for another two hours, to which he'd yell back. It would end when she'd cry about how sorry she was. It was pretty normal now.

So was her whines of "Puddin'" and "Mistah J."

This time she called for him, Joker was about out and about. He turned, slow with bottled up anger. He grinned with clenched teeth as he looked at her.

"What do you need, Pumpkin Pie?" he asked, trying not to throw her out the window.

She looked up at him innocently from the couch she lay upon. "I need cuddles, Puddin'."

This was definitely not the first time she complained about cuddles, but it proved more irritating every time. It almost caused the clown to cry with tears of frustration. But, of course, he would never cry. That was just plain stupid.

One of his green eyes twitched. "Of course, Harley." Only two more months. Well, somewhere around that. They didn't go to a hospital to find out, they couldn't anyways. They both pretty much figured what day it was around.

He walked over and sat with her, to which she snuggled herself under his arm. He knew for a fact that he'd leave whenever she fell asleep. He knew there was only one good thing out of all of this nonsense- the baby. . possibly.

The Joker stroked Harley's blonde hair as gently as he could. He really did not want to be in this situation.

"Do you think we'll have a boy or girl?" she asked with a smile.

He looked at her belly. He really didn't care. "Boy," he replied, knowing the child would then be his heir. A girl would be another Harley anyways.

Harley looked thoughtful. "I was thinking of it bein' a girl. Oh well, I guess we'll see when that day comes, huh, Mistah J?"

"Mhmm," he mumbled, bored out of his already insane mind. Shut up.

"You'll be so cute as a daddy, Puddin'," she continued. "The best possible daddy ever."

He snorted. "I think you forget what I'm capable of, my dear." Even if Harley thought of him as perfect, the Joker knew what he actually was. He was a monster, not that he totally minded. It was all true.

Harley's eyes began to droop. "Mistah J?"

"What?" he groaned in reply.

"I love you. The baby will love you too."

The clown wanted to cackle. Love. How stupid it was to him. He knew what it was, he could actually feel it, but someone loving him was stupid. Harley was a genius, but she was stupid. He knew the kid would probably hate him as they grew.

He looked at the blonde, knowing she meant well. He did care for her, there was no doubt in that. If he didn't, she would not even be alive. Something about her stopped him from shooting her repeatedly.

"You too, tiger." He was not going to say he loved her because he didn't think he actually did. He'd just agree.

By this time, she was already asleep. So, as agile as possible, he slipped from her grip and was right out the door. Hey, he couldn't be too sentimental.

.

"It was so wonderful to meet you all tonight. I would have loved to be friends, but I already gave it my best shot."

The Joker was in a museum, holding a gun in each hand along with valuable merchandise. He shot at the cowering people as he left with a loud cackle. He probably hit one or two people, but did it really matter?

As he looked back at them with a menacing smile, he felt himself run into something. That something turned out to be his old foe, Batman.

"If you'd excuse me, Batsy, I really must go," he smirked.

The Dark Knight narrowed his eyes. "To Arkham."

"Not a great joke," the green haired man shook his head in disgust. At that moment, Batman hit the guns out of his hands, catching him off guard. It was definitely not the Joker's best fight- he found himself flat on the ground, handcuffs around his wrists.

Within a few minutes, he found himself back in Arkham Asylum. Harley was going to kill him.

Oh, Mistah J. You should have done better!