Hey, guys! It's baby time! Hahahaha, well, it actually is. But what will the baby be? A boy or a girl? What will they name the baby? What will happen with the baby? Stay tuned to learn more and find out!
On a weird note, I'm always laughed at when I ask the gender of a baby. Mostly because I ask "what kind." I'm pretty sure I'm five years old.
I also decided I'd update today merely because I'm wearing my Harley Quinn and Joker shirt. It is so comfy. Okay, I'm going to shut up and let you enjoy the story!
The Joker cackled as he hopped into Ivy's car. He did not believe a word she said. The baby wasn't due for another month.
"Tell me the truth. Harley just missed me soooo much that she made you come get me? It's all just a little scheme isn't it?" he asked with a sly smirk. He knew Harley well enough. She'd make up a joke just to be close with him.
The redheaded woman drove fast and glared at him. "It isn't a joke you idiot. She's having the baby. It's called a premature birth." She swerved past a red light. "Harley really needs you for this. Besides, why would I risk my ass for you in any other circumstance?"
The clown pondered it for a few seconds, before the realization hit him. "Good point," he said, though he did not show any type of nerves. It was all on the inside. His heart actually began to race as he told himself how real this actually was. He was actually being a father.
"If it was my choice, I would have left you in there. But she insisted that the precious daddy needed to see the baby when it came." She never took her eyes off of the road. It kept her from punching him in the face.
The Joker scoffed. "Maybe precious daddy didn't want to be there either." It wasn't a full lie. He rather be back at Arkham than see a woman give birth. Yet another part of him was excited about the child.
Ivy stopped the car so abrupt, that Joker almost hit the windshield. She looked at him, green eyes turning dark. "Listen, clown. You're going to go in there and at least act like you care. I knew for a fact that you'd never be a good dad, and you're only making my assumptions clear. What happened to you saying that you would try? Give up already, coward?"
The Joker was not used to this kind of talk. Mostly because he usually killed anyone beforehand. But now, now he knew she was right. (Not that he'd ever say so.) A lot of his thoughts were towards this whole thing, but it just made him feel a weird sensation of sickness.
Rolling his eyes, he spoke to her sarcastically. "Oh, maybe I wasn't prepared for it this early?"
She began driving again. "You would have been if you stayed out of Arkham. You made yourself look too easy to catch. Besides, it's time to grow a pair and be ready for this."
He did not speak to her, just glared. It stayed silent for the next two minutes before they got there. Stopping the car, Ivy covered it with plants again, running inside. The Joker took his time as he followed. He held back a laugh. It was definitely a little hoax to him. His thoughts stayed that way until he heard Harley's screaming and crying. Not the normal kind either.
When he went upstairs to the room she laid in, Harley looked like a wreck. Her blonde hair was matted with tears, makeup staining her cheeks. Next to her, Bud and Lou were curled up, as if to protect her. Ivy rushed right next to her.
"How close is the pain now, Harl?" she asked with full concern.
Harley sniffled in agony. "A-about five or six minutes. . . Pu-puddin'?" She lifted her neck up slightly to see if he was there. Her blue eyes were rimmed pink.
He merely waved. "Hey there, pooh." He was not going to show the panic that laid inside him. He couldn't tell if wanting to vomit was a good thing or a bad thing. He looked at Ivy. "What do I do?"
"Since I don't trust you being the one to deliver the baby, I'll do it. You hold Harley's hand for support."
He walked over to the blonde, holding out his hand in confusion. What did that have to do with support, he didn't know.
She looked up at him, grabbing the pale hand. "I'm so-so happy you're here, Mistah J. Ain't I-it excitin'?"
"Yeah, yeah." He tried to stay as monotone as possible. Emotions were not what he needed at the moment. He wasn't going to do any of that mushy excitement or crying. That would be disgusting of him.
Harley grinned warily, glowing in a way Joker never saw before. Even he knew Harley was pretty, but this glow coming from her seemed even prettier. "Our baby's gonna be the best there is Before he could answer, she screamed in pain again. The contractions seemed to be getting even closer.
The more she screamed, the more she crushed his hand. "Stop it! You're going to put me in need of care!" he yelled at her in frustration, causing the hyenas to growl.
Harley looked at him. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO PUT A BABY IN ME!"
"IT WASN'T MY INTENTION!"
Seeing Harley in pain made him upset, mostly because he was the only one allowed to hurt her. This baby was going to be in trouble with him already.
"You can push anytime that feels right, Harley!" Ivy exclaimed over the cries of the blonde. "The baby should be here soon!"
The Joker, being the curious fool he was, wondered what this whole experience even looked like. He glanced around the corner. His stomach churned. It was even worse than a group of dead people covered in blood. But he did not say anything.
He clenched his teeth as Harley crushed his hand more. "God damn it, Harley," he growled under his breath. Trying to keep his mind off of it, he looked at the bed. He'd have to get new sheets and bedspreads. These were his good ones too!
"I see the head, Harl! Keep going, you got this!" Ivy yelled out.
Harley screamed and pushed, leaving the Joker feel half deaf. Only a few minutes later did they hear a little cry coming in Ivy's direction. Harley's own tears fell with joy. "Oh, Red! Is it a boy or a girl! Oh my God, oh my God. . ."
Ivy grinned at her best friend. "You have a baby girl, Harl. A tiny baby girl." She looked like she had her own tears in her eyes as she looked to the Joker. "Would you like to cut the cord?" Her voice was less harsh with him than before.
He looked confused. "What?" He was still trying to muster the fact that it was a girl and not a boy.
"The umbilical cord. Do you want to cut it?" Finally understanding, he did so. He did not look at the baby though. He did not want to see her.
After Ivy cleaned the little girl off, she handed her to the crying mother. "Oh, Puddin'. She's so beautiful. Look at her. She's so perfect." The baby girl's cries were softening. Bud and Lou sniffed her and instead of attacking, they licked her head.
"I'm so proud of you, Harley. She's going to be gorgeous as she grows up," Ivy smiled, sitting on the bed corner.
Harley began to sob again, looking at Joker. "Wanna hold her, Puddin'?"
He didn't want to say he did, but he couldn't get himself to say no. "I guess so." Taking the baby from Harley, he studied her.
She was definitely cute, anyone could tell. Though most of her seemed to be mommy, she had a tuft of brown hair like her father's original. Her eyes did not fully open, but she seemed to be looking up at him. He felt his heart melt, but tried to make it black at night again. It was just a baby . . nothing special.
But then something amazing happened. A little sound came from the back of the girl's throat. Not a cry nor a cough. It sounded like a tiny giggle. He did nothing at all, but he made his new daughter laugh. It was the most glorious thing that could have happened. He was in a little world, silent to everyone else. He did not know how happy he looked when he smiled at her.
Coming back to reality, he frowned. "Yes. Good job, Harley." He handed the baby back.
"What should we name her, Puddin'?" she whispered softly, looking at their little girl in awe.
He thought about it. She needed a good name Nothing stupid or simple. Something that showed where she came from. It hit him like a brick.
"Marionette," he replied. A puppet for two clowns to care for.
Harley grinned, though Ivy rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "It's beautiful, Mistah J. Marionette Ivy Quinzel. Ivy after her godmother." She looked at the redhead, who beamed.
The Joker wondered if that was it then. They had a baby and they were going to raise her. Completely normal. Odd. He was expecting something strange. He just stared at his daughter, as everyone did. It was just a beautifully weird moment that was ruined by the sound of sirens coming close.
Well, there you go. Little Marionette Ivy Quinzel. so, what do you think will happen? What do you think of the Joker now? What are the sirens? I'll try to update soon!