Chapter 5: Crossroads

It was a late Saturday afternoon in Paris when Marinette had decided to visit the old man Master Fu once again. She felt butterflies in her stomach as she stood motionless at the door, her right hand raised to give it a knock but not fully committed to actually perform the act. She hadn't really given any thought into this meeting whatsoever; it just seemed natural to turn to the old man for guidance when things went south. However, when everything was her fault to begin with, what was she even going to say to him? Could she even mention the letter that she had received?

"Come in, Miss Dupain-Cheng. I know you're there."

Marinette drew a deep breath. She closed her eyes and rested her hand on the door, feeling its sturdiness and the texture of its surface on her fingers. Her mind was racing with questions; she ran countless hypothetical scenarios in her head even though she already knew that she was never going to be fully prepared to face him. She began to have second thoughts about her visit, but then again she was already here and the old man was waiting. Exhaling, she put her weight into the door, pushing it open and stepping into Master Fu's shop once more. "Good evening, Master Fu. Good evening, Wayzz."

"Come. Sit." The old man gestured to the spot in front of him. He reached for the teapot by his side and poured her a cup of tea. Once the cup was nearly full, he lifted it up carefully and set it down in front of her. As he leaned back and re-assumed his original posture, he threw a parting glance at the turtle kwami that hovered by his side. The kwami turned to face Marinette and their eyes met for but a brief moment before it bowed its head and closed its eyes. The silence was deafening and the mood foreboding.

Marinette could read the situation all too well. Their silence only meant one thing—that they already knew what she had done. "I…" Her voice trembled; in that very moment, she no longer knew what she was doing here, nor what she was even going to say.

"I had warned you before but you did not heed any of my advice." Master Fu's voice was both deep and stern, but seemed to carry an ounce of concern in it. He did not look away from Marinette but his hand could still find the small cup by his side and bring it up to his lips. He took a sip and then lay the cup down exactly where he had found it. "Well, I don't have to explain just what kind of trouble you already know you are in. You're probably here to ask us how to fix your own mess. Before we even proceed, I'd like to hear it directly from you—what do you have to say for yourself?"

"You're right. I've made a mess and I… I…" What was she even supposed to say to him? The old man probably didn't know about the note, but either way she suspected that there would be no way that she could respond in a way that could work amicably for the both of them. With her head bowed, Marinette slowly got back up on her feet. "I'm sorry, Master Fu. I—I don't know what to say. I think it was a mistake to come here. I'm sorry to waste your time."

"Marinette, please wait." Wayzz flew up towards Marinette and interposed himself between the door and her. "I sense not just a great conflict, but also a deep regret within you. Please stay and talk to us about it."

"I don't know if I can." Her head remained bowed, her eyes desperately avoiding the kwami's inquisitive gaze. She knew that it could sense something amiss, but she didn't want its concern or pity. She had already done enough wrong and no longer wanted to involve them any further in it.

"Wayzz, let her be," Master Fu said. There was a hint of sadness and resignation in his voice. "If she has already given up then there is nothing more that we can do."

"No," Marinette said. She looked over her shoulder and caught the old man's stare. "I haven't given up. It's just—I just—"

"Marinette?" Wayzz had floated around to bring himself back into her view.

"It's become way too complicated," Marinette said. She buried her face in her hands. "I'm just not sure if coming here was the right thing to do, especially after what I have done. Especially now that it has come to this…"

"Come to what?" the turtle kwami asked. "Is there something you haven't told us yet?"

"I… uh… I came to uh… borrow a Miraculous."

Wayzz let out a little squeak while its master simply remained quiet. The kwami floated a little closer to her and extended a hand but the girl shrunk away. "Marinette, do you even realise what you're asking of us?"

"I—I know it's a lot to ask, but I really need one. It's important."

"I am sorry Marinette, but this crosses a line," the old man finally said. He paused only to take another sip from his cup, but this time taking longer to relish the bittersweet taste in his mouth before swallowing the herbal brew. He took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled with his eyes closed. "A Miraculous is not something to be lent; a user is chosen to be the owner of a Miraculous, to form a close and iron-clad relationship with their kwami. It is often a life-long bond that is never broken; as the saying goes, till death do they part. And so every user is chosen for a reason. You, Miss Dupain-Cheng, were chosen for your kindness, and the hidden strength and resolve within your heart. You were special and could have wielded your Miraculous to the best of its ability to become a very strong Ladybug—even the best that I have known in nearly two centuries of my life—but instead, you gave it up so quickly that it left me sorely disappointed in my choice. And now here you are, trying to borrow such a treasure. What you ask is an insult to us all."

Marinette tore her gaze away from the old man and his kwami; she turned faced the door. She thought about the note on her desk, and if she could even face it without having a Miraculous to protect her. One way or another, that path was already set and there was no turning back. She might as well be saying her last words to the old man. "I'm sorry, Master. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm sorry for everything. All that I have done, I did with the full intention to set things right. Even now, there lies a path before me that I simply cannot ignore, even though I do not know whether going down that path is the right choice or not. But either way, I have to come to a decision and whatever choice I make, please do not think less of me."

Before she could reach the door, Wayzz flew in front of her and made her stop. "Please, Marinette. What are you planning to do?"

"What I have to." Marinette gently waved the hovering kwami aside with one hand while her other hand pulled the door open.

"Just answer me this," Master Fu said with a commanding voice that made Marinette stop in her tracks. "Ladybug was not just a superhero who used her powers to fight supervillains. She was also a hero who swore to protect the people of Paris from Hawk Moth. Do you know what the difference is between a person with super powers and a hero?"

"I know! I—I fought so hard, and it was all for… all because of…" She struggled to find the words to describe her past, or even ones to justify her present, but nothing came out from her mouth. The old man's words bit deep down and she clutched at her chest, as if feeling real pain in her heart. Was I really a hero? Have I really made all the right choices, or were they just the choices that felt right to me? Either way, choices have already been made and their outcome determined. Good or bad, they have led her down this path. She spoke in a sad voice. "I think perhaps at one time, I was a hero but now, I don't think I deserve that title anymore. Good bye, Master Fu. Good bye, Wayzz."

"Marinette, please—"

"Wayzz, just let her be," the old man said. "Give her time to think on her own. We'll still be here when she has found herself once again."

And so Marinette left the old man and his kwami behind, trudging home with a heavy heart and a lot going on in her mind.

The evening sun had almost set when Marinette reached The Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie but she stopped in her tracks when she spotted two familiar young boys standing at the entrance. Adrien and Nino were waiting for her, so she spun around and walked in the opposite direction. Judging by the pair of footsteps that quickly caught up with her soon afterwards, she knew that she had already been spotted.

"Mari, wait up!"

"Nino—" She paused and shot a quick glance at her pursuers. If it was just Nino on his own, she may have been able to say something to him but with Adrien Agreste by his side? She was left speechless.

"Marinette," Adrien said. "We just want to talk."

She averted her gaze and hung her head down. "I'm sorry, Adrien. I don't know how you can still talk to me after what I've done."

"You don't have to apologise to me, Marinette. You didn't do me any wrong at all." Adrien's voice was both reassuring and also full of concern, but after that he shifted his tone and became stern. "But at the very least, you do owe Nino some kind of explanation."

"Adrien, I don't understand." Marinette slowly turned around and looked at the boy with amazement. "How can you still treat me like this?"

"Honestly, I don't know." Adrien shrugged. He tilted his head up and gazed at the sky while his hands rested inside his pockets. "I can't really explain it, but somewhere deep down, I just know that you're a good girl at heart. What you did to Alya though, well… I'm pretty sure you had a good reason for it even though you still owe her an apology and an explanation for it."

"I'm not a good girl. You don't really know me at all."

"Don't sell yourself short." Adrien placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "I don't know what's going on with you—and maybe I won't be able to understand anyway—but from here, I see a desperate girl who's been forced to do desperate things only because she's been backed into a corner. But—but you're better than this, Marinette. I have this strangely familiar sense of trust that I cannot explain, but I know that feeling to be true. I believe in you, Marinette. You'll come though. You just have to forgive yourself first."

"Adrien, I don't know what to say…"

"Then don't say anything. Well, at least not to me. Nino, on the other hand, deserves your attention. Besides, it's getting late and I should probably get going. Nathalie's already waiting for me and if I stay any longer, I'm pretty sure that my father will really and truly ground me for life. Nino can fill me in later about… whatever it is that you'll let him say but for now, just talk to him. He's really concerned about you. Anyway… cat you later." He offered her a wry smile before spinning around on his heels and taking off, leaving Nino behind in her care.

Once Adrien was out of sight, Nino simply raised his hand and waved meekly. "H-Hey there."

Marinette could not look up to meet his gaze. She still wasn't able to see him eye-to-eye like this.

"Look, Mari," Nino said. "I can't say I fully understand what happened last night. Everything happened so quickly, and then all of a sudden I find out that my closest friends are Ladybug and Chat Noir. I can't even begin to process all of that in such short time."

Marinette's head snapped back up, her eyes now wide open as she met his gaze. "They actually told you?"

"Uh, not really." Nino rubbed the back of his head and gave her a sheepish smile. "Alya was ranting all about you trying to take her… uh… miracle thing… She had this little red k-kwami friend with her. And then this little black cat flew out of Adrien's pocket and they began yapping all night. It really wasn't that hard to figure it out. Not especially after they made me swear not to tell a soul or I'd be swimming with the fishes at the bottom of The Seine."

"Wait, what?" If Marinette's eyes weren't already wide enough, that last bit about swimming with fishes made them grow even wider than before.

The boy made the widest grin she had ever seen. "Just kidding."

Marinette suppressed a laugh, but she still playfully punched him in the shoulder. "I guess the cat's out of the bag, huh?"

"It's so awesome, isn't it? Both my friends are like, the superheroes of Paris." Nino's tone shifted after that; his voice deepened when he said, "But what's this about you trying to take Ladybug's earrings? That's totally supervillain stuff, dude."

Marinette took a step away from the boy. Her legs felt weak. He had associated her actions to that of a supervillain, and the painful part of it was that he wasn't wrong. I'm no hero. Master Fu was right all along.

"Mari?"

"I—I could tell you, but I don't think you will believe me."

Nino narrowed his eyes. He stepped forward and put both hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Mari, I'm your boyfriend. Of course I'll believe you."

Marinette closed her eyes and sighed. She was tired, not just with everything that had gone wrong everywhere she went, but also with this false life that she had been living. Nino being her boyfriend was just another farce that she could no longer keep up with. She couldn't do this to him anymore. As much as she would like to not hurt him, but she couldn't live with the web of lies that she had been building up around herself. She lifted the boy's hands off her shoulder and held them tightly in her own. "I'm sorry, Nino, but the truth is you're not my boyfriend. I'm not your girlfriend and Alya isn't supposed to be Ladybug. I am—or maybe I should say was—the real Ladybug. I don't know what happened or why, but this whole world that I'm living in now isn't real. I'm so sorry, Nino, but I can't live like this anymore and you don't deserve to be led on by me either."

Nino blinked. The way his eyes kept looking from one spot to another, it was clear that he was struggling to process everything that she had just told him. "I—I don't understand…"

"Oh Nino, I don't even know where to begin." It was the truth. She didn't even know how to explain something that she herself couldn't comprehend.

"Then start from the beginning."

Marinette nodded. She started from the day when she helped Master Fu cross the road. On that day, Ivan became the first Akumatised supervillain Stoneheart and went after their classmate Kim. She had found the wooden box that contained Ladybug's earrings on her desk. As clumsy and nervous as she was, she mustered up the courage to fight and, together with Chat Noir, became the superhero pair who swore to protect the peoples of Paris and defeat Hawk Moth. After a moment of of hesitation, she also told him about her crush on Adrien Agreste and about the lengths of her obsession that she would memorise his entire schedule and keep pictures of him all over her room. But it all led to the fateful day when she woke up from bed to find her powers missing and her companion, Tikki, gone with no clue or explanation. She had gone from superheroine to nobody in a single day and her entire world fell apart like the shattering of falling glass.

Nino gripped her hands tightly and refused to let go. His face was wet now; although his head was bowed, she could still see the tears dripping down his cheeks and soaking both their hands. She felt her own tears falling silently, mixing with his. They spent a long moment of silence just holding on to each other's hands before Nino finally found the courage to speak. "I—I'll help you."

Marinette's heart skipped a beat. She wasn't even sure if she heard him correctly. "What?"

"I said I'll help you. I can't say that I fully understand everything you have said, or if I could ever bring myself to believe every single word about it. But even if you think that all of this isn't real—that this whole world is a lie—but I'm still here and I am real. This is me, Mari. This is my world and here, I am your boyfriend. I love you, Mari, and that's all that matters to me."

"Nino, do you even know what you're saying?"

"Maybe I do. Or maybe I don't. But I can't deny this feeling that I have. I want to help you. That—that's the only thing I can do for you as I am now."

"No, Nino." Marinette's grip on the boy's hand tightened as she spoke. "You've already done so much. By being here, by being someone I can talk to, and by trying to understanding me, it is more than I could ever hope for in such a good friend like you. Before, I didn't even realise that there were good people such as you and Adrien who still cared even after all the terrible things that I have done. Thank you so much, Nino."

Nino pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and began to wipe away her tears. He was trying very hard to smile but his eyes were still wet and his heart was probably still hurting badly. "What are you going to do, Mari?"

"I—I don't know." Marinette immediately felt guilty, for she had lied again. She couldn't tell him about the note. She couldn't tell him that she may have to face Hawk Moth without anything but her own wit. She would only be putting him in danger otherwise. "I'll think about what I can do from here on, but in the meantime I just need to get some rest. It's been a pretty wild day, even for you, Nino. You go on home and get some sleep. You've done enough for today, and I truly am grateful that you actually listened to me."

"If you say so, Mari." Nino swallowed. He leaned forward to give Marinette a hug. She didn't shy away, so he went ahead and wrapped his arms around her. "Please call me if you plan to do anything, okay? I'll be behind you no matter what happens."

"I promise," she whispered softly in his ear, but she shut her eyes and let another small tear trickle down her cheek.

The following morning, Marinette was up very early. She had already finished her breakfast and told her parents that she was just going out to the park for a walk. Instead, she held the note in her hand, the address written within leading her to a less-travelled part of Paris. She saw fewer boutiques and shops, and an increasing number of workshops and warehouses. She had tried to look the place up on the Internet before—to see if she could find some sort of clue or link based on who owned the premises—but all she had found was a complex web of fronts and shell companies, some leading to dead ends while others sending her on a wild goose chase to no end. No, she hadn't found anything of value given the limited amount of time and resources that she had.

She stood in front of the main entrance of a fairly large property owned by a local textile and garments supplier. The grounds consisted of several warehouses that were used to store cloth and related raw materials. Her objective was the main warehouse building in the middle. On any other day, the place would be teeming with workers so it was quite obvious why a Sunday was chosen for this meeting.

The front gates creaked lifelessly open as she pushed her way inside, taking care to make sure that no one would notice a young girl trespassing into private property. Satisfied that the coast was clear, she made her way towards the double doors that led her into the warehouse.

The smell of fresh garments filled her nostrils as she began to take in her surroundings. The ceiling was at least three storeys high, with various levels and walkways overhead for workers to gain access to the various locations of note within the building. Piles of uncut cloth were neatly arranged throughout the place; some were rolled and then propped up against the walls while others were stacked up as high as the ceiling. From memory, the place was probably not originally built for this intended purpose, but retrofitted to handle textile goods are a much later date. It didn't take her long to spot a possible route going up but before she could take another step forward, she was interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming from above.

"I am glad that you have decided to come, Miss Dupain-Cheng."

Marinette snapped her head up to find a man in dark purple suit and silver mask standing on a walkway just outside what could be the main office of the building. He held a jewel-encrusted walking stick in one hand and wore a butterfly-shaped brooch underneath his neck.

"Hawk Moth," she said coldly.