Note: Hello again!
Thank you for reading my story, and thanks to everyone who has offered their feedback! I actually really like this chapter and I hope you guys do too. Enjoy!
Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman
By: plushie
Chapter 5: Suddenly a Family
Mikasa lay on the roof of their house, flat on her back like a vampire, fingers twined together on her chest. She donned a white silk nightgown, a pink knitted sweater and a pair of simple leather flats, with Eren's red scarf wound securely around her neck. She inhaled deeply, eyes fluttering open to look at the sea of stars above her. It was chilly, the brisk air pricked at her exposed skin but she hardly minded. The scarf and sweater kept her warm.
She sighed despite herself. There was not a cloud in the sky. The deep blue sky twinkled with countless stars: vast, mysterious, and beautiful. Her chest rose and fell.
She had a few burns and bruises from her encounter in the forest. Eren's hot titan skin had seared her own, leaving second-degree burns on her back. Her hips were bruised where her 3DMG equipment had been squeezed against her by Eren's hand. She grimaced at the memory. Was she really that out of line? She wondered about the new, titan free world.
Slowly, but surely, she realized that all that remained was peace. Was there a point in killing Annie now that she no longer threatened Eren? Had there been a point in engaging the abnormal in the forest before that? Had there been a point in her venturing to the trench to hunt down Eren?
She realized there hadn't been a point to any of her actions. Levi's words resonated in her head, repeating like a mantra: Is it possible… that you're being a selfish little brat?
Anger had fuelled her actions. She had not bothered to listen to reason. Mikasa acted before she could understand the situation. Even before than, when Hange appeared in Levi's office, she hadn't known Eren's situation. She merely assumed something was wrong.
She inwardly berated herself. She had done it again.
Perhaps Eren would not forgive her this time.
"You always come here when something's bothering you," Levi mused.
Mikasa turned her head. Levi sat next to her, one knee drawn to his chest and one leg outstretched before him. He still wore his Survey Corps uniform. His arm was propped on his knee, and he regarded the sky expressionlessly.
"Are you cold?" The question erupted from him naturally.
"I'm fine," Mikasa insisted softly, bringing one hand to her scarf to pull it further over her face.
"Are you coming to terms with reality?" Levi asked vaguely. His tone was cold as ice. His eyes never left the sky.
"Levi…"
Levi finally turned to her at the sound of his voice. She spoke it as she always had. Her tone was soft, even. Her expression was composed as always.
"Humankind has found peace in this world." Mikasa stated tonelessly. "It's difficult to imagine…"
Levi said nothing, watching as she painfully sat up, her teal eyes flitting over the town below. Lights were still illuminated in the houses, and people still wandered the emptying streets. Teenagers spoke in loud, boisterous voices. Men's laughter wafted from the bars. There was even singing in the distance. The town was happy, peaceful.
Then he saw it. A single tear cascaded down her cheek, over the scar that Eren had left there years ago.
His eyes widened slightly in alarm.
"Oi, brat"—
"No, I'm not sad… I'm confused and upset… I think, but more so…" Mikasa whispered, voice shaking. "I'm… I'm so relieved…"
Levi blinked, openly confused.
"Eren is okay… he's found peace, finally… He really doesn't…" her voice broke as her body shook with sobs.
Levi stiffened, but did not move.
"He really doesn't need me anymore… does he?" Mikasa hardly managed to get words out as she broke down, wailing loudly. She brought her knees to her chest, burying her face in her scarf as she hiccupped and sobbed incomprehensively.
Levi exhaled.
"You're jealous." He blunted.
Mikasa's eyes widened. Jealous. Levi watched her incredulous eyes peering at him over her scarf.
He smirked at the sight of her, fingers reaching out and brushing her bangs from her eyes, tucking stray hands of her hair behind her ear. "Don't even fucking deny it. It's written all over your face."
"Really?" Mikasa choked out
"Really." Levi affirmed, eyes dancing with unconcealed amusement. "It's cute."
"I… love Eren?" She had meant for it to be a statement, but it came out more like a question. Levi was remarkably unperturbed by her confession, stare devoid of expression.
"No you don't."
Mikasa's jaw stiffened, concealed by her scarf. She looked down, towards her knees. Her heart thumped in her chest, tightening as the seconds passed. "If I don't love Eren, why would I be jealous?"
Levi scoffed. "You poor thing."
Mikasa pressed her forehead to her knees to conceal her tears. "I do not understand, sir."
"Of course you don't. You're socially retarded." Levi scorned. He shifted towards her. "You're jealous because he's grown out of you, Mikasa. The stupid kid finally grew up. He has a life together. He has his own shit to take care of. He doesn't need you to babysit his ass anymore."
Mikasa's chest tightened painfully and she hugged her knees closer to her chest, biting her lip hard.
"Even before, you were so fucking confused," Levi continued blandly, "You were never sure what you were to Eren. A friend? A lover? You never knew."
Mikasa remained silent. When she finally looked up, she met Levi's cold, charcoal stare. Her blood ran cold.
"Tell me, Mikasa. Do you want to kiss Eren?"
Mikasa's eyes widened at the question, cheeks tinged red. She nibbled on her lip. "I… Levi…"
"Fine. Would you fuck Eren?"
She blanched, eyes widening, jaw slack.
Levi remained expressionless throughout it all, hooded eyes fixed to Mikasa, searching her. "I'll tell you your answer, seeing as you're clearly unfit to answer for yourself."
He reached forward, into her scarf for her chin, lifting her face to his.
"Your answer is no. Fuck no, actually, because that's disgusting." Levi muttered, lips just above hers.
Her ears burned. Her heart skipped several beats, her breath hitched in her throat.
"That's your brother, Mikasa. He's your family." Levi backed away from her. "He's my family now, thanks to you."
He wiped a stay tear from her cheek with a calloused thumb, patting the top of her head gently for good measure.
"Come inside. You'll get sick."
Mikasa obeyed. She allowed Levi to lead her off of the roof by her hand. Together, they leapt down onto the balcony of their home, then entered the door leading to the second floor. The house was illuminated by lamps, Mikasa was grateful for the warmth that the fireplace provided. She removed Levi's cloak from her shoulders, handing it to him. For a few moments, he stared at her outstretched arm before taking his cloak and disappearing into the master bedroom.
Mikasa went downstairs as he changed. All of his clothes were still in the closet of the bedroom.
She went downstairs, glancing at the clock. It was fifteen minutes before 9 p.m. She glanced at the sink. The dishes from dinnertime had been done, most likely courtesy of Levi.
From downstairs, she heard the shower running.
Within 5 minutes Levi reappeared at the base of the stairs, dark hair damp with water but donning a pair of black sweatpants, a white long sleeved shirt, and his slippers. He eyed her wearily.
"You were injured. Did you go to the doctor?"
Mikasa shook her head, "I found some salves in the master bathroom. I recognize them. I used to watch Dr. Yaeger prepare similar salves when I was younger."
"Let me see."
Mikasa's expression darkened. "Levi, I"—
"I want to see your injuries. Consider it punishment for your disobedience." After a second thought, Levi added, "I've seen you naked before anyways, brat. There will be nothing new to see."
Mikasa scowled, face tinged pink despite herself. She shook her head.
Levi glared at her, stepping towards her and pulling her by the arm. He whirled her back to him, lifting the bottom half of her shirt. Mikasa forced herself to stay still, blood rushing to her face.
"No more." Levi's voice was soft, yet stern. He lowered her shirt and began towards the office.
Mikasa stood at the landing of the stairs, speechless.
It was Saturday morning, and the coldest day that week. Mikasa sat in the chair of their home office, pulling a blanket around her and burrowing her chin into her scarf. Levi had gone to the headquarters alone and instructed her to work from home that day. She had accepted his proposal. Mikasa decided that doing as she was told would be the best method to weather through her condition. Ultimately, when it came to who she was in the present day, Levi knew her better than she knew herself, as long as she had amnesia.
Additionally, she did not want to encounter Eren or Annie.
Thus, Mikasa decided to take refuge in her house.
Mikasa's head jolted up at the sound of a knock at the front door. She set the thick book down, folding the corner of the page she was on (despite the fact Levi told her specifically not to do so) and crept to the front door.
She kept her blanket wrapped around her as she turned the knob allowing a gust of fall wind inside.
In front of her were Connie and Armin.
"Hey Lance Corporal!" Connie greeted brightly. He grinned at her. "Chilly?"
Mikasa blinked, then the smallest of smiles overcame her. "Connie."
Armin shivered, "Are you gonna let us in? Or..?"
Mikasa apologized softly, stepping aside to allow the two inside. They donned their Survey Corps uniforms, faces red from the weather.
"What happened to your expedition?" Mikasa asked Armin. He smiled.
"We leave tomorrow morning! The weather will be much nicer after today. It's surprising to have weather this cold in September," Armin said, his blue eyes flashing with childlike intrigue. "I'm really excited for the mission."
Mikasa nodded warmly at the two, leading them towards the living room. They sat down on the couch, and Mikasa retreated to the kitchen to fix them two cups of hot chocolate. She returned with a tray with three steaming mugs, setting it down on the coffee table. The two gratefully took a mug each. Armin had pulled out his notebook, and was showing Connie the details of his plans.
When Mikasa settled down on the armchair, they both turned to face her, silencing.
"Mikasa… are you okay? I heard about the other day," Connie began slowly, expression earnest.
Armin exhaled. "We're worried. We don't mean to rude we just… we're just worried about you, Mikasa."
"They've been dating for a few months," Connie mentioned vapidly, sipping at his hot chocolate.
Mikasa tensed, then relaxed again, a sigh leaving her lips. "I figured so."
Armin watched her. "You're not mad?"
"No… I'm… I'm happy for them," Mikasa managed neutrally. Her expression was composed and inscrutable. Both men seemed to relax at this.
"We would have told you, but Eren wanted to tell you," Armin explained, an apologetic smile marring his boyish features. "I'm sorry Mikasa. You must have felt ambushed."
Mikasa allowed a few moments of silence to pass, formulating a response. Finally, she said, "At first I was surprised but I realized that things have changed since I was nineteen."
Armin nodded sympathetically. Connie seemed confused.
"Your memory isn't back yet?" He said disbelievingly.
Armin shot him an admonishing look, "Connie."
"No, it hasn't returned," Mikasa confirmed evenly. "I'm handling it fine. There's no need for anyone to feel worried."
Both Armin and Connie exhaled in relief. Connie leaned back against the couch cushions with his mug, sipping contently. Armin hunched forward slightly and set his cup down on the coffee table.
"Is there anything else I should know?" Mikasa inquired flatly.
The two exchanged glances.
"Bertholdt and Reiner are still in the military as well. Currently they're working on rebuilding towns, and also play a large roll in Titan education," Armin said. "Ymir and Krista are living together. Chief Erwin is happily retired and is still close friends with Levi. He visits you sometimes. Jean and Sasha seem to have a relationship, I'm not sure how that's coming along though you were the first to say it."
Armin took a long, deliberate pause.
"You and Levi wanted to have children," he finally said.
Mikasa's eyes widened. Children?
When you have children, teach them this weave.
Mikasa grimaced at the memory. Why was she remembering her mother's words now, of all times?
"Do I… did I love Levi?" Mikasa asked softly.
"Yes. Very much," Armin said confidently, affirming his answer with a nod of his head.
Connie laughed, "Obviously. You're married. And to that prick. I actually never really got it, to be honest."
Armin laughed softly at Connie, though his expression suggested he wasn't surprised at Connie's thickheaded nature.
"How are you and Commander Levi getting along now?" Armin asked boldly.
Mikasa nibbled at her lip, fiddling with her fingers on her lap. Something she never did. "I suppose we're fine. It's strange, but I'm adjusting."
"Do you sleep in the same bed?"
"Connie."
"What? Jeez."
She shook her head, "No. Nothing like that."
"I feel sorry for him," Connie suddenly declared.
Armin and Mikasa both settled disbelieving gazes on him.
"Connie, it isn't her fault she has amnesia!" Armin chastised.
"Yeah, but think about it. He's older, never really had close relationships with anyone. Suddenly he and Mikasa are married, now she doesn't even wanna be anywhere near him? That'd mess me up. I'm pretty sure Commander Levi isn't that coldhearted. He must be taking it pretty hard." Connie nodded at his own wisdom.
Armin was speechless. "Well… That's true."
Mikasa looked extremely contrite.
"Don't worry Mikasa. Your memory will come back and everything should be fine," Connie said optimistically. He placed his empty mug onto the table and stretched his arms over his head.
Armin glanced to Mikasa.
Somehow, she did not appear comforted by Connie's words.
Somehow it seemed like her memory would never return.
"Sorry Mikasa for cutting this meeting short, we should probably go prepare our supplies now." Armin stood to his feet, apologetically smiling at his childhood friend. Mikasa stood with them, nodding firmly.
She followed them to the door, where they yanked on their boots and retied their cloaks.
Armin turned to Mikasa suddenly, earnestly. "Mikasa… fix things with Eren. He's really worried that you're mad at him."
Mikasa nodded vaguely.
She gave each of them a hug, telling them to be safe.
And with that and a blast of cold air, they were gone.
Mikasa's pale hand fell from where it rested on the doorknob.
"You're upset."
Mikasa ignored Levi. She focused on the cutting board instead. She minced vegetables with a cleaver, delicate hands running over the vegetables as she chopped. She lifted the cutting board, tilting it and brushing the chopped ingredients into the pot with flourish, brushing the remaining pieces off with the knife. She set down the cutting board and readjusted the height of the flame. She stirred the soup idly before placing the lid on top.
On the counter next to the stove, two bowls were situated side by side, each filled with rice noodles, to which she began to add the chicken that she had cooked beforehand.
"Dinner is almost done," Mikasa announced brusquely, ignoring Levi's observation.
She waited a few minutes then extinguished the flame. She took the lid off of the pot, stirring the broth contemplatively. Using a ladle, she distributed soup in each bowl. Afterwards, she added sliced lettuce, green onions, basil leaves and cilantro. She patiently placed both steaming bowls onto a tray and carried it towards the dining table where Levi sat.
Mikasa sat down at her place at the dinner table.
She sighed, realizing she had forgotten utensils, but Levi stopped her with a look. He produced two pairs of chopsticks, handing on to her.
"You're German," Mikasa said blandly, looking at him with a hint of disbelief.
Levi scoffed, masterfully using the chopsticks to mix the noodles with the broth. "You taught me how to use them when we were courting."
"Oh."
They ate in silence. Mikasa peered curiously at him, watching how he ate. He deftly scooped the noodles with his chopsticks. He was concentrating on eating the noodles first. After he finished the noodles, he began to sip at the soup.
She twitched.
Even the way he ate was organized. It was unsettling.
"It's rude to stare, brat," Levi's annoyed tone startled her out of her reverie, and she realized that she had stopped eating altogether to stare at him.
She flushed, frowning slightly as she continued to nibble at her own noodles.
He smirked at her, pushing his chair out of the table and bringing his empty plate to the sink. He immediately washed it, dried it, and placed the bowl back into the cupboards where it originally was. Then, he prepared a pot of tea for them both.
"You made me this tea—oolong tea." Levi poured her a cup and pushed it across the table to her before sipping at his own cup. His rested his elbow against the back of his chair, watching her languidly.
She ate slowly and without making a sound.
She ate two thirds of the soup and gave up, staring at the bowl with hooded eyes.
"Done?"
Mikasa nodded slowly, and Levi wordlessly retrieved her bowl. He disposed of her leftovers and began to wash her dishes.
Mikasa slid out of her chair and began up the stairs towards the bedroom.
Once in the master bedroom, she washed up and slipped into a pink nightgown. For a few moments, she sat on the edge of mattress, twining her hair between her fingers.
Levi shuffled into the room unannounced. He paid her no mind as he sifted through his closet, swiftly gathering his sleepwear.
"Levi, do I sadden you?"
Levi stopped just before the door. He turned to look at her, eyes narrowed. "What?"
When she said nothing, Levi strode towards her, sitting next to her on the bed.
"What is it?"
Mikasa inhaled sharply. "I was talking to Armin and Connie. Connie mentioned that this must be hard on you. I apologize. I had been selfish. It is no one's fault I have amnesia, especially not yours. I knew that this would affect you, but I cared only for myself."
Levi scoffed. "You're a silly brat."
She shook her head, and then turned to him. Her eyes were deep, swirling with a mixture of emotions. "If I never remember, what will happen?"
Levi's calm demeanor faltered for a moment. "Mikasa…"
"If I never remember, will I be a burden to you? And to everyone?" Mikasa's questions lingered.
Levi stared at her for several moments that seemed like an eternity.
She closed her eyes, burying her face into her hands. "I want to remember for my own sake, for our sake."
"Whether you can or cannot remember makes no difference to me," Levi said dryly.
Mikasa looked up at him, eyes wide with astonishment. "How could you say such a thing?"
"Firstly, Connie is a fucking idiot. Everyone knows that. Secondly, through thick and thin, we're married. Shit like that doesn't just come and go. Push me away all you want, that won't be enough for me to leave. Fuck, we argued all the time. Over shit that we could have avoided. We haven't filed for divorce yet. You have amnesia. It was inevitable. It's no one's fault. I'm no fucking coward."
Mikasa felt her eyes burning, a lump forming in her throat.
She could not understand why.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I do not want to trouble you."
"It's no trouble," Levi snorted. "Stop being so fucking depressing."
Mikasa bit the inside of her cheek, eyes glazed. Her heart pounded violently against her ribcage and her stomach was in knots.
Levi's eyes studied her for a few seconds, then, as though satisfied, he stood.
He made way towards the door, pausing in the doorframe.
"As fucked up as this situation is, we're still a family."
His low, baritone voice lingered in the air.
"I love you. Remember that."
End Chapter 5!
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