Nationals was a week away. We were really getting close. We were currently rehearsing on stage. Will had named Jessa an unpaid consultant. It was still totally legal and that was the main thing. We were also nearing the end of the school year and my mom had already laid out an application for Columbia. She suggested that I check out the campus when I go to New York. I was personally thinking about Juilliard. I knew it would be hard to get into and I didn't want my mom to buy me into college. I wanted to feel like I earned it.
I was distracted from my thoughts by noticing that Sue was having yet another meltdown in the hallway. The only difference is I think that I saw some tears in her eyes this time. I think that she might have been sad about something, but I wasn't sure what.
We when we got to Glee club, Becky walked in, crying herself and not in her uniform. I thought Sue really liked her. Why would she throw her off of the Cheerios? Something was definitely up and I needed to figure out what it was. I couldn't help but wonder how I was going to do that.
I decided to walk by Principal Figgins's office to see if I could get any information.
"My sister is dead! Show me some sympathy!" I heard Sue shout. Well that solved that. I knew what the problem. Now I just had to figure out how to fix it.
I decided to head to Will's office. He was a bit surprised when I explained it to him.
"I think we should use this week to teach the Glee Club about death. The only one of us who's really experienced it has been Kurt." I remarked. "Yes, it's right before Nationals, but any practice is good practice."
"Okay, I like the idea." He agreed.
Later in the day, Sue was in the Glee Club. Everyone else looked confused.
"What is she doing here?" Rachel asked.
"Sue lost someone very important to her recently." Will explained. "This week we will be singing songs about death."
"I'll sing something." Puck declared as he took out his guitar.
She put him out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life trying to forget
We watched his drink his pain away a little at a time
But never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind until the night
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger and finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow with a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow, the angels said a whiskey lullaby
I then began to sing.
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind until the night
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger and finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow while the angels said a whiskey lullaby
"That was horrible." Sue told me. I would have been angry, but she was dealing with grief.
When I got home, I decided to talk to the person that I knew best that had lost someone.
"What was it like when our mother died?" I questioned.
"I don't really know." She admitted. "I didn't actually ever see her body. Dad told me that he spread her ashes over Lake Erie. I haven't really thought of it. Judy's been my mom longer than she was.
"So what she like?" I asked.
"Why are you asking this?" She challenged.
"Because Sue's sister died and it's making me think about it." I explained. "So tell me what was she like?"
"She always seemed kind of selfish to be honest." She admitted. "I don't have a lot of memories of her. I think I blocked some of them out. I do know that she wasn't abusive."
So what she told me really wasn't that helpful. Unfortunately, she was the only person that I could talk to about it since I was still estranged from my dad.
I then found Jessa at the door.
"So I'm pretty sure that no one in the Glee club liked the advice that I gave them." She explained.
"Why's that?" I inquired.
"I don't know. Maybe they're not used to honest criticism. Will doesn't seem like someone to criticize. I told Kurt that he needs to stop always doing girl songs and Rachel that she has the tendency to oversing." She answered.
"She does, doesn't she?" I responded.
"Shelby wasn't afraid to criticize us." She added. "You can't only point out strengths and ignore someone's weaknesses. It's why there are so many bad singers on American Idol."
"So were there any songs about death you liked?" I questioned.
"This song." She declared. "I like it better than the remake."
Goodbye Norma Jean though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled
They crawled out of the woodwork and they whispered into your brain
They set you on the treadmill and they made you change your name
And it seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you but I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before your legend ever did
Goodbye Norma Jean though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled
Goodbye Norma Jean from the young man in the 22nd row
Who sees you as something more than sexual more than just our Marilyn Monroe
And it seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you but I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before your legend ever did
"That's a good song." I agreed.
"As you can tell, it was originally written about Marilyn Monroe, before Elton John wrote a new version about Princess Diana. I always thought that the original version was better even though the new version was a bigger hit. Of course part of it was probably because Marilyn Monroe had been dead for eleven years when the song came out versus the new version that came out after Diana's death."
"You know it is strange that my never got to see our mother's body." I commented.
"Well she was so young. Your dad probably didn't think that I could handle it." She responded.
There was something that I couldn't help but wonder. Was it possible that my mother wasn't actually dead? I only thought it because there didn't seem to be any sort of proof. I knew that I probably didn't want to look for any proof because I might not like what I would find. I was interrupted from my thoughts with the sounds of Beth crying.
I went over to see her. She was so beautiful. I was glad that I was her mother. I went and picked her up and brought her back over to Jessa.
"So do you want to hold her?" I asked. I hadn't really let anyone other my mother hold her before.
"If that's okay." She declared.
"It is." I responded before I handed her over to Jessa. I could tell that Beth really seemed to like her. "She likes you."
"She probably just knows how much I love you." Jessa declared. "So have you thought about college at all?"
"My mom wants me to go to Columbia, but I want to see if I can get into Juilliard." I answered.
"You know that's a hard school to get into." She replied. "I auditioned but didn't get in."
"Well, it's still worth trying." I declared. It must have been hard if someone as talented as Jessa couldn't get in. "So I want to do something about the funeral. I know that Sue is our enemy and has been for the past few years, but we need to show her that we care. Plus from what I hear, her sister was a pretty great person."
The next day at school, I had some flowers and brought them to Sue's office.
"These are for you." I declared.
"Why are you doing this for me?" She asked. "I'm pretty sure that you hate me."
"I do, but no one should have to go through the pain of losing someone." I explained. "If there's anything that I can do to help with the funeral or sorting through your sister's things, I'll do it."
"If you're offering, then yes I would love the help." Sue declared. "I don't understand why it had to be her. It should have been me. I would give my life just so she could have hers back."
I knew it didn't work like that.
"Thank you." Sue added. "You can meet me at the nursing home today after your rehearsal."
So I had this idea that I would bring Beth to the nursing home, but I decided against it. I didn't really think that there would be much purpose to bringing a baby to the nursing home. Plus, it would look like I was making it about me when it was supposed to be about Sue and her sister's memory.
"So what do you want to do with all of this stuff?" I asked her.
"Just throw it all out. Maybe your kid will like some of the stuffed animals, but I don't want the rest." She remarked. "You don't know what I'm feeling right now."
"Okay, I know you're hurting, but I'm just trying to help and you don't need to yell at me." I declared. "Maybe the only person that I lost was shortly after I was born, but that doesn't mean that I don't know what it's like to be sad. My parents kicked me out of the house and I still haven't talked to my father."
On the day of the funeral, I was singing something for her. It was one of my favorite songs about death, which sounds like a bit of an oxymoron.
You took my hand you showed me how you promised me you'd be around uh huh that's right
I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me yeah huh that's right
If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone
I'd stand and punch them out cause they're all wrong
I know better cause you said forever and ever
Who knew
I'll keep you locked in my head until we meet again, until we until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend what happened
If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone
I'd stand and punch them out cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss I'll cherish until we meet again
And time makes it harder I wish I could remember
But I keep your memory, you visit me in my sleep
My darling who knew, my darling, my darling
Who knew I miss you my darling who knew
Who knew
I wanted to stay a little for the reception. We had gotten as many as we could to come and it ended up being a full house. I could tell that Sue was definitely touched by it. Maybe now she would stop hating us. Maybe she would just hate us a little bit less. I was glad that everyone that we had had shown up. It turned out that Jean was a popular person in the nursing home. Well that was the kind of life that you had when you were a nice person and I was pretty sure that she loved talking to people.
We decided to go to the school after the funeral because we wanted to do one more number before Nationals. It would the last time that we performed before Nationals. Artie was performing the lead with Santana singing the chorus.
Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show, I lace the track you lock the flow
So far from hanging on the block of dough, Notorious they got to know that
Life aint always what it seem to be, words can't express what you mean to me
And though you're gone we still a team
Through your family I'll fulfill your dreams
In the future can't wait to see, if you'll open up the gates for me
Reminisce sometime, the night they took my friend
Try to black it out but it plays again
When it's weird feeling it's really hard to conceal, can't imagine all the pain I feel
Give everything to hear half your breath I know you still living your life after death
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break I'll be missing you
Since you've gone I've been lost without trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break I'll be missing you
Now we just had to win Nationals.
So Faith was there to help Sue, even though she hates her. Also she's wondering what happened with her mom. The songs are "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss, "Candle in the Wind" by Elton John, "Who Knew" by P!nk and "I'll Be Missing You" by Puff Daddy featuring Faith Evans and 112. Please don't forget to review.