Much love and kisses to the lovely reviewers/readers of this little bit of minor backstory. I guess it was kinda a practice run for how the main story will end? Kinda. But this has been really nice to write and I'm very glad people are enjoying it. As always, if you would be so kind as to take a few minutes to drop a review and let me know what you think I'd really appreciate it. I usually put quite a lot of hours into every chapter what with the rewriting, proofing, rewriting again etc, so it's always nice to know my efforts are appreciated. Cause I love you all and I'm selfish and also a total review whore ^^
Content Warning: some mildly graphic maternity stuff at the end.
can you come over I need to talk to you it's kinda important
"Marcy? I'm just going next door for a bit, Lady just texted and she wants to talk about something. You gonna be ok watching the gingerbread?"
"It's much safer with me watching it than you anyway, you're an awful chef. Go on, I'll be right here. Say hi from me."
Bonnie sighed and dropped a kiss on her girlfriend's head before turning back out of the kitchen and rooting around in the hall for some shoes. Normally Lady only texted if there was some extra juicy gossip so Bonnie was intrigued to find out what was going on. Maybe it was about Jake, the two of them had been inseparable since Halloween and Bonnie worried that if they broke up just before Christmas it would crush both him and Lady.
Her friend's door was unlocked and nobody answered when Bonnie knocked so she reluctantly turned the handle and let herself into the hall.
"Lady?" Bonnie called anxiously. The apartment was dark, it was Christmas Eve and Bonnie had thought her friend was going to Jake's parents' place for the holiday.
"In here." a shaky voice replied.
Bonnie hurried through to the lounge where she found her friend curled up on the sofa in her pyjamas, eyes red and puffy.
"What happened?" Bonnie asked in concern as she slid onto the sofa next to Lady. "Are you still sick?"
"Sort of. I'm gonna be sick for a while, I think. I wanted you medical opinion actually. Is there any way this could be wrong?" Lady asked quietly.
She was holding up something slim and white, it took Bonnie a moment to register what it was since she'd never actually had to use one herself. But after a second she reached out and took it, staring down at the two blue lines with her mouth open.
"Oh Lady... how did this happen?" she murmured, shocked.
"You're a doctor, please don't make me give you a hetero sex education lesson." Lady winced in reply. "So is there any way it could be a false positive?"
"Maybe, if you have a severe urine infection or you're taking really heavy tranquilizers. It's pretty unlikely though." Bonnie replied.
"I'm on the pill. I don't understand how it could have happened." Lady said, still in a deep state of shock.
"Have you been taking any other medication? Did you miss a pill?" Bonnie asked gently. She was pushing her shock to one side and sliding back into doctor mode but that was probably why Lady had asked her to come around anyway.
"No, I mean, not for ages. I missed a pill when I had that big court case but I wasn't seeing anyone then, it wouldn't matter. Right?"
"That big case was right around Halloween though. Were you careful for the whole week after you missed it?"
"But... I only missed one." Lady replied in a small voice. "And I wasn't seeing Jake until Halloween night, I missed the pill before that. It was the day after we got the Ceruni case. I remember because I was up all night researching corporate tax law and I forgot it in the morning because I was so tired."
"If you miss one you're not covered for up to seven days after. Oh Lady, this is a mess. Have you spoken to Jake yet? I'm assuming there's nobody else in the frame as a father, right?"
"Nobody else for the last year; I was too busy for dating. I haven't told him yet. I don't know what to say. 'Sorry I ruined your life' doesn't seem to quite cover it."
"You have to tell him, he deserves to know. And Jake's a great guy, you know he'll support whatever you decide. But didn't you notice the missed periods?" Bonnie asked, still in that gentle tone.
"I don't get them with this pill, I didn't notice. And I was getting sick a lot recently and feeling so bloated, I thought I'd do a test just to rule it out because it's the first thing my doctor would ask. But I can't be... you know." Lady finished in a whisper.
"Honey, you've got to say it out loud."
"Pregnant." she murmured tearfully. "Oh God, I'm pregnant. I'm having Jake's baby. What am I going to tell him? What am I going to tell my parents? I can't be someone's mother, I can't cook or anything!"
"Come here." Bonnie said instead of all the other things she had swirling through her head. She held her arms open and Lady scooted across the sofa to her, leaning tearfully into the hug. "You will find a way through this, I promise. And whatever happens I'll always be there for you, you know that right?"
"You're literally my best friend." Lady sobbed, burying her face against Bonnie's shoulder.
"You're my best friend. And I want you to be happy, so you need to talk to Jake. He's gonna be thrilled, I promise you. Jake was born to be someone's Dad. Even if you do it as separated parents, he's gonna be brilliant. I promise, everything will work out. And if you don't want this, if you chose to end the pregnancy, I'll support you. No judgements."
"Promsie?" Lady sniffed.
"Promise." Bonnie replied with a small smile for her friend. "Doctor's honour."
"Thank you. I just, I think I was in denial. I've been sitting here staring at the test for hours, I didn't know what to do. I should call Jake. Will you stay with me until he gets here?"
"Of course. You gonna call him now?"
Lady nodded and slid her mobile out of her pocket. There was a picture of her and Jake snuggling up together as her background, it caused an unexpected lance of pain through her heart to think that he might abandon her when things were absolutely perfect between them. But he had to know, Bonnie was right. So reluctantly she dialled his number and waited for him to answer.
...
"What's going on?" Jake asked the moment he entered the lounge. "Is this an intervention? Cause I swear I can quit video games any time I want."
"I should go see how Marcy's getting on with the cookies." Bonnie murmured, standing from the sofa and sparing a quick hug for Jake. "She's trying to teach me to cook but it's slow progress, better if I just do the washing up I think."
"Say hi from me. Happy Christmas." Jake replied in confusion as the redhead disappeared out the door. Then he was face to face with his girlfriend and the atmosphere was suddenly tense and weird again. "Hey. So, uh, what's up?"
"Jake, I have something really important to tell you and I'm really scared of how you're gonna take it." she replied quietly, staring down at her hands and biting her lip. "You remember Halloween night?"
"Yeah, pretty vividly. Best Halloween ever."
"Well a few days before I was really busy with work, I got really distracted and I forgot to take my pill."
"Your pill? But you're not on any medication. Except your contraceptives, but- what are you saying?" Jake breathed, eyes wide and shocked. "Are you trying to tell me you're-"
"Pregnant. I think probably about two months. Jake, I'm so sorry."
He stared at her and the seconds ticked silently by.
"I'm sorry." Lady whispered again. "I know this wasn't planned and you probably don't want it, I don't know what to do but I just had to tell you, I-"
She was cut off by his arms wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her into a tight hug.
"Oh holy fuck, I love you so much." Jake breathed. "A baby? We're having an actual baby? This is the best Christmas present ever! It's the best thing that ever happened to me! Oh man, can we move in together? How soon do you wanna start looking for baby things? Wait, is- is this what you want? To have a baby with me? Because babe, I can wait if that's what you need. But you just tell me, do you wanna do this?"
Well, Lady reflected, Bonnie had been completely right. Like always. Jake was thrilled and enthusiastic, he hadn't even noticed that it was the first time he'd told her he loved her although Lady was fairly certain she'd seen the same thing on his face a few times and he'd just been waiting for the right moment. She stared into his eager blue eyes for a moment, the eyes she'd fallen in love with almost the moment she'd seen them. Would their baby have Jake's eyes? Or hers? Would they inherit his carefree laidback attitude or be a stressed workaholic like her? Was she brave enough to carry the pregnancy to full term and find out? They'd only been together for two months and she was scared that they didn't know each other well enough.
"But we've only just started seeing each other, it's all so fast." Lady murmured through numb lips.
"And? It's like a story! It's a whirlwind romance, it'll be something exciting to tell our grandchildren about!" Jake enthused. And perhaps it was hormones or perhaps it was whirlwind romance but Lady found she was crying happily in his arms, hugging him tightly and so amazingly glad that she had someone like Jake in her life.
...
Lady's parents were an entirely different matter, of course. 'Bob' and 'Ethel' were part of the generation that had adopted English names when they immigrated to better blend in with their adopted culture. That was all that had changed though, their attitudes were still firmly old fashioned Korean. And their only child being accidentally pregnant to an unemployed white boy far below her social status when she'd just graduated and finally landed her dream job was not the life they'd hoped for her. So it was a frosty atmosphere that entered their apartment when Lady's family finally came to visit.
"You must be Jacob." Bob greeted him unsmilingly, gripping his hand hard enough to make the bones grind together.
"Please come in, I'm just finishing the dinner." Jake replied, bowing respectfully low over their clasped hands. Bob's face remained completely unmoved but Jake thought that maybe Ethel had warmed up to him just a little.
He'd only been moved in a few weeks, if they looked in the bedroom they'd find crates of summer clothes that Jake hadn't worked out where to put yet. He just hoped his girlfriend's parents would like the food he'd prepared and the changes they'd made to her apartment in preparation for the baby. Jake had spent a long time looking through traditional Korean interior décor websites and had repainted the whole apartment in a soft creamy white and hung traditional artwork on the walls as well as decluttering every surface and sanding down all of Lady's second hand furniture to show the natural wood grain. He was determined that their baby would grow up with a strong sense of his Korean culture too. Lady mostly brought him cups of tea and hugged him proudly. Three weeks living together and she was gladder than ever that Jake had exploded like a whirlwind into her life.
"You have a new table?" Ethel frowned as Lady showed them into the tiny dining area.
"Jake sanded and resurfaced the old one, he wanted it to fit with the natural wood aesthetic." Lady replied with a smile for her boyfriend. Jake smiled back and he was almost completely certain that he saw Ethel's lips curl upwards just a little, too. Operation Charm Offensive was going brilliantly.
"At least the boy's handy with power tools." Bob grunted reluctantly. He took a seat at the head of the table and scowled around at them all. "Still doesn't have a proper job though."
"Actually I'm starting with a new restaurant on Monday. It's not fancy but it's a permanent position and even with part time hours it should be enough to cover childcare." Jake answered, keeping every possible trace of smugness out of his voice. Any second now, he could see the thoughts whirling in Bob's head-
"And how do you figure that? Being a part time chef at a cheap restaurant is going to replace the wage of a highly educated full time lawyer? Are you an idiot, boy?"
"Actually, Dad, Jake's only working a few days a week so that he's here to look after the baby while I work. He's going to be a stay home Dad, so that I can focus on my career." Lady interrupted quietly.
A pin dropping would have sounded like a bomb going off in the shocked silence that followed her announcement. Jake repressed the urge to grin or laugh, instead he bowed again and turned to the kitchen. The moment he was out of the room an explosion of rapid Korean erupted in the dining area and Jake finally let out the massive grin that had been threatening to burst across his face. It sounded like Lady and her mother were rounding on her father for being unbelievably rude from the small amount of Korean Jake had managed to learn. And Bob was replying that being a stay home father wasn't right for a man? Or that Jake wasn't a man enough to be a father, he wasn't sure. Just you wait and see, I'm gonna the best Dad ever, Jake thought happily to himself as he opened the oven and took out the kalbi grilled shortribs he'd prepared for the occasion. They'd turned out perfectly, it did nothing to make him feel less like his face was about to split in two from grinning so widely. He'd like to see Bob disapprove of him once he'd eaten Jake's food; he'd never met anyone who didn't like his cooking.
Dinner was a tense and quiet affair. Bob especially ate in silence, sending a sour glare at his wife when she complimented Jake's kimchi and kalbi. Lady smiled around radiantly in stark contrast to her stone-faced father and practically glowed with happiness. Since she'd come to terms with the pregnancy and eventually become secure in the knowledge that Jake wasn't about to run off and leave her she'd finally allowed herself to be thrilled to be having a baby. Lady had always planned to have a family one day. It was just that 'one day' was now about six months away and really as terrifying as that was she was still absolutely overjoyed, smitten with her little bump and all the tiny baby clothes they'd picked out together. Sometimes she woke in the night and just stared at her wonderful boyfriend's relaxed face while he slept, overcome with joy and disbelief that her life had so suddenly expanded to include the handsomest, funniest, kindest man she'd ever met and the son they'd created together. Her scan had been the week previous and although she'd have been so happy either way she knew Jake was especially over the moon that they were having a boy. Even his parents had been thrilled; surprised but so glad for them so long as she and Jake were happy together. And Jake's little brother was amazingly excited about being an uncle; he wrote them every chance he got, flimsy pale blue letters on official Army paper that almost smelled of the harsh acrid heat of Camp Bastion and the unforgiving Afghan desert. He had leave over Lady's due date, it was weird to think that the first time she'd meet the man she'd heard so much about might be the same day she met her firstborn.
They sat quietly in the lounge sipping tea after dinner. Ethel smiled in thanks when Jake filled her teacup and that's when he knew he'd won. Lady had told him that her mother might appear quiet and reserved but she was the head of the family really and her father was every inch the hen-pecked husband behind closed doors. If Ethel decided Jake was good enough to father her grandchildren then Bob would follow her lead.
"Well, this has been lovely." Ethel told him with a twinkle in her eye and a heavy Korean accent. "Jacob, I know I speak for my husband also when I say that we are honoured to welcome you to our family. But I must warn you that if you do not do right by our daughter and her child there will be repercussions."
"Mum!" Lady gasped, mortified.
"I understand entirely, Ethel. I have nothing but love and respect for Lady and I am honoured to be considered part of your family." Jake replied solemnly. Ethel nodded to him as she stood to leave, motioning imperiously at her husband.
"We will see you again, Jacob." the older woman told him as they were gathering their things in the hall. Jake tried not to interpret that as any kind of threat.
"Jacob. Take care of my child and grandchild." Bob told him unsmilingly, taking his hand again. But this time the severe faced Korean man bowed formally over their hands and didn't try to break Jake's fingers. He punched the air in victory the moment the door closed behind them.
"Mum loved you!" Lady beamed, absolutely thrilled.
"I know! She even smiled at me!" Jake grinned back. He flung his arms open, too happy to keep his hugs to himself. "Come here! I feel like I haven't smooched you in hours and I'm about to burst with love so you better come cuddle me and absorb some of it!"
Lady giggled and let him wrap his big arms around her; she couldn't remember a time when she'd felt so completely wrapped up by another person.
"Jake? I love you so much." she whispered happily into his ear.
...
Of course it was the hottest day of the summer and of course it was her actual due day; as Marcy had pointed out many times that Madigans had a weird knack for arriving just when you least expected them and who even gave birth on their due day? Well Lady did, apparently. Jake was at the train station picking up his brother for his week's leave and nobody was home with her, she'd been about to heave herself off the sofa and make some food when a sudden rippling feeling in her bump had stopped her in her tracks. Oh God, the baby was coming. While his father was out and his uncle that she'd never met before was on his way over to visit. So Lady did the only thing her terrified brain could think of; she stumbled to the thin wall between her bedroom and her next door neighbour's and hammered as hard as she could on the wall over and over until she heard movement on the other side. Bonnie was on nights at the hospital all week so she'd probably be asleep but she was almost certainly home and that was all Lady cared about. A couple of minutes later the door of her apartment was thrown unceremoniously open and a bleary eyed redhead was stumbling into her front room, staring around wildly until Lady staggered back through from the bedroom.
"Baby's coming?" Bonnie asked in a raspy, exhausted voice.
"I think I had a contraction! Oh God, you have to help! I can't give birth right here on the rug without Jake!" Lady wailed in panic.
"Ok, stay calm. Have your waters broken?" Bonnie asked gently, rubbing her eyes to wake up a little. Lady shook her head. "How long between contractions?"
"I don't know, I think that was the first one!"
"So you've actually only just had the one contraction?" Bonnie asked with an unimpressed frown.
"I panicked!" Lady replied. Then she sat down in the middle of the floor and started to cry.
"Hey, come on. It's ok. I'll take you to hospital if you need to go right away but they're gonna need to know how far along you are and I'll need to have a look. Ok? Not in a pervy way, in a registered and qualified junior doctor way. Is that ok?" Bonnie soothed, crouching next to her and sliding an arm around her friend's shoulders. Lady nodded, too overcome to speak. "Ok sweetie, I need you to lie down nice and comfy and pull your skirt up."
Lady did as she was told, not even stopping to consider how weird it was that her lesbian friend was going to look at her like that. Because Bonnie was a doctor and Lady trusted her completely, she was just glad of the reassurance of having someone who knew what they were doing with her. Bonnie crouched by her side and gathered all of her professional calm around her before taking a look; it was a little weird for her even if Lady was reassured by her presence.
"Ok, everything looks fine. You're not dilating yet, there's no meconium or amniotic fluid leaking out, no bleeding and no umbilical prolapse. There's nothing to be worried about. A first labour especially can take a long time and there's no indication that the baby's on his way right at this second. We've got plenty of time to get to hospital. Do you wanna wait for Jake?" Bonnie asked after a minute.
"If that's ok. He's picking up Finn, he shouldn't be long." she replied, beginning to calm down.
Bonnie helped her friend up off the floor and onto the sofa then went to collect the labour bag that she'd helped Lady pack a few weeks earlier in preparation for the baby's arrival. After that there wasn't really anything more she could do so she slouched down next to her friend on the sofa and held out her arms for a tired hug. Lady gratefully laid her head on her friend's shoulder.
"I'm scared." she whispered after a long moment of silence.
"I know. I'd be scared, too. But think about it this way. Every single female ancestor you've ever had, right back for the whole span of mammalian history and beyond, has successfully given birth. You are the product of millions of years of evolution moulding you to be able to do this. You don't need exams or qualifications, you don't need to do anything at all except listen to your body and push when it tells you to. And once you've finished all that pushing and you've done the exact thing your body is perfectly designed to do, you'll get to meet your son. And I promise, Lady, the moment you see him you'll feel this wave, sorta like a tidal wave of love stronger than anything else in the world. I've been on the maternity suite with new mothers, I've seen what happens when they hold their babies for the first time. If you think you love your bump now just wait until he's warm and real in your arms and staring up at you like you're his whole universe. Because you are, you and Jake are literally this little guy's whole world. If the labour pains start to hurt too much you just think about that moment when your beautiful son looks at you for the first time and I promise, you'll get there."
"You should write a book for women about to give birth." Lady murmured after a while, around her quiet tears. "You'd be an overnight millionaire."
"I've just assisted at a lot of births as a student, the way I see it this is the one thing you were moulded for by evolution. And if it gets complicated then modern medicine will step in and help you. Don't worry, we have science on our side." Bonnie replied with a comforting squeeze of her friend's shoulder.
When Jake got home he found Lady curled up very still with her hands on her bump, resting against Bonnie's shoulder while the redhead quietly snored. She'd only been home from work for about four hours when Lady had woken her and she was still exhausted.
"Hello Finn, lovely to meet you face to face finally." Lady quietly greeted the tanned man with the spikey blonde crew-cut that followed her boyfriend through the door. He looked like a skinnier, taller version of Jake and she could see the same spark of mischief in his blue eyes; they were obviously brothers.
"What's happening?" Jake asked in a half whisper. "Why's Bonnie asleep on our sofa?"
"Um, the baby's coming. I got scared when I had a contraction and I got her to come over and check me. She said we had plenty of time still to wait." Lady replied quietly.
"Cool! I'm gonna see my nephew get born!" Finn enthused loudly. Bonnie opened her eyes and glared at him sleepily.
"Hey, Finn. You're gonna come to my place and quietly wait for Marcy to come home while I sleep and then we're gonna go to the pub and celebrate and not get in Lady's way." she corrected him tiredly. His face fell comically.
After that things became something of a blur for Lady, for Jake too. He helped her into the car and took her to the hospital while his brother slouched unenthusiastically into Bonnie's apartment instead. They were booked into a private room in the maternity suite and then they waited as the contractions came and went. And then they waited some more. It grew dark outside and still they waited. Eventually Jake fell asleep in the chair by her bed and Lady finally found her anxiety was turning to frustration at the delay. It was hours after midnight when things started to get really painful and Jake called the midwives who examined Lady and announced that she was entering active labour, gave her gas and air and pain killers. It all got rather dream-like once the medication kicked in; agonisingly painful but also weirdly distant. Like a very vivid dream. And finally after hours of trying not to scream with the agony of the contractions growing in her stomach they told her to push and the words her friend had told her earlier came rushing back as she bore down with all her strength, straining muscles she'd never used before. Think about that moment when your beautiful son looks at you for the first time and I promise, you'll get there.
And she did. Lady didn't know how but despite all the pain killers, despite the gas and the trance-state and all the rest of it she felt the moment when her precious boy entered the world, when he slid gracefully away from her after all that pain and blood and agonising pushing to get him into position. She looked down at the wailing bundle that the midwife placed in her arms while Jake sobbed at her side, overcome, and waited for that tidal wave to sweep her away. For a dizzying split-second Lady was distantly worried it might not come, but then her baby opened his eyes and her whole world changed because she'd never known love could reach that deep or drown her so suddenly. Hadn't known the world was full of so much unfathomable and unconditional love because every person who existed had been born at some point and surely every mother for the last several million years of mammalian evolution had felt what she felt right then. Like the love in her heart was burning with the heat of a thousand suns and it beat only for the tiny life in her arms. It was a struggle to speak around that enormous surge of love, but she wanted to greet the boy she already loved more than the whole rest of the world.
"Hello, baby. Your name is Kim, after your great-grandfather. Welcome to the world. We've been waiting so long for you."