Chapter Three:
Harvey glared in annoyance at Mike when his phone rang during a deposition with a client the following day. Mike quickly glanced down to see it was an unknown number and silenced the call, he smiled apologetically at Harvey.
"It would be a good idea to put your phone on silent in future." grunted Harvey as they walked out the conference room down to his office. "Let's just hope they settle and then-"
He was interrupted by the sound of Mike's phone ringing from inside his pocket.
"Do you mind if I take this?" he asked sheepishly gesturing towards his phone.
"Fine,whatever, I'll be in my office." Harvey sighed rolling his eyes.
"Hello?" said Mike answering the phone.
"Hello, is this Mr. Ross I'm speaking with?" asked a professional sounding woman from the other end.
"Yeah that's me, who am I speaking with?"
"I'm ringing from New York Presbyterian Hospital on behalf of ; she has your test results and would like to speak with you today as soon as possible."
"Yeah, sure...I'll be there." he said his voice quavering a little before hanging up. He felt a pang of worry deep inside his stomach. This didn't feel like good news.
"Harvey, I have to go somewhere, but I'll be back as soon as possible." said Mike quickly as he poked his head into Harvey's office.
"Where?" he demanded.
"I have an appointment but I won't be long." explained Mike.
"An appointment for what?" asked Harvey frowning a little.
"It's personal." replied Mike, he didn't really need to explain it to Harvey.
Harvey sighed exasperated and gestured for Mike to go. "Just be back in time for our meeting with Mr. Butler this afternoon."
"Sure." said Mike before briskly walking down the hall to the elevator. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself before pressing the button for the ground floor. He tried to relax and reassure himself that he was just thinking negatively and it was probably just policy to tell patients their results in person rather than over the phone.
"Hi Michael, thank you for coming at such short notice, you can come to my office now." said Dr. Kearns coming over to Mike in the hospital waiting room. He swallowed a lump in his throat and followed close behind her.
"Do you have any close friends or family members that would be able to be here with you today?" she asked closing the door when she turned around to look at him her face looked grave and serious.
He paused for a moment, thinking of Harvey and then of Donna and Rachel and even Louis before shaking his head. "No, it's just me."
She looked at him sympathetically. "Alright. Well I've got your test results here and it looks like you have a type of cancer called Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia."
Mike's ears started ringing and every word she said started to become muffled and distant. He was staring into nowhere. The word cancer was all he could hear or focus on. Surely he'd heard her wrong, this couldn't be right, this wasn't happening to him. Fresh, warm tears pricked the his eyes, but he blinked them back.
"Michael?" she said. "Are you with me?"
He shook his head and swallowed before clearing his throat. "Cancer?"
"Yes. I know it's a lot to take in but I really need you to try and focus on what I'm saying as much as you can. Are you sure there isn't anyone at all I can call for support?"
Mike shook his head and looked down at the ground. His mind was racing. His head pounding.
"Have you taken in what I've said already?" she asked.
Mike nodded slowly not making eye contact and she continued.
"This type of cancer unfortunately isn't usually entirely curable, but with treatment it can be kept relatively under control for many years. I have a few leaflets for you to read here about it. We'll start you on a course of chemotherapy next week and if your body reacts well to the treatment we'll perform stem cell transplants."
"How long will I live?" said Mike his voice just above a whisper.
"I can't say for certain since no two bodies are the same, but many patients live for several years and can live normal lives while their bodies are in remission."
Mike nodded. The room was spinning slightly and he felt sick. He just couldn't believe this was happening to him.
"I just really encourage you to try and find someone, even a work colleague or a neighbour to talk to about this. If not there are plenty of support groups here at the hospital. Just take it easy for the next few days and try and get as much rest as possible." she smiled.
"I can still work, right?" Mike asked worried.
She nodded "It should be fine for now, just try not to overdo it. We'll discuss it again once you begin your treatment."
Mike felt light-headed and disorientated as he stepped out of the elevator when he got back to work an hour later. He shakily ran his hand through his hair as he walked to his office, his mind was still racing. He couldn't concentrate on anything apart from the news he'd just heard. His eyes were wide and staring as he sat down at his desk with his head in his hands trying to regain some control.
His breathing was fast and ragged as if he was crying but no tears were coming out. His breathing was almost beginning to burn his throat. He couldn't get enough air. He began gasping; his chest was tight and constricted.
"Mike?" he heard a voice say loudly, but he couldn't make out who it was. He looked up, his vision blurry, to see Harvey rushing towards him.
"Mike, can you hear me?" his voice was full of panic, he was shaking Mike trying to get an answer out of him.
"Can't...catch...my...breath." Mike struggled to say between gasps.
"Slow down, just try and take deep breaths." instructed Harvey kneeling down beside Mike, his dark eyes full of concern and fear looking intently at Mike.
Mike shook his head and swallowed thickly, his forehead glistening with sweat and his shaking hands were attempting to loosen his tie around his neck.
"Concentrate Mike and just try to calm down."
Mike sounded like he was suffocating, he felt so dizzy he had to grip onto his desk to stop himself face planting onto it. The more he tried to control himself the faster his breathing got, the harder it was to inhale properly.
"Maybe I should call an ambulance." said Harvey, his voice slightly higher than usual.
Mike held out his hand and shook his head; the other one gripped his chest as he tried to level his breathing. It was like he'd had his breath knocked out of him.
"Try and just breathe in and out, in and out." Harvey instructed slowly and calmly as Mike followed his voice taking slower more controlled breaths, gradually becoming more relaxed.
After a few moments his breathing returned to a normal pace.
"Right, do you want to tell me what that was all about?" asked Harvey.
Mike shook his head, he couldn't look at Harvey.
"Mike." he said firmly. "I'm not dropping this."
"Harvey, I'm fine." Mike muttered his voice still slightly raspy.
Harvey rolled his eyes but Mike didn't seem to notice.
"You're clearly not. I walk into your office and you're unable to breathe and hyperventilating. That just doesn't happen for no reason."
"I said I'm fine." protested Mike who was now looking at Harvey.
"Your performance is a reflection on this firm Mike. If I walk in here to find you having some type of panic attack, something is wrong. So I suggest you tell me what's going on right now."
Mike let out a sad sigh and took a deep breath. He didn't even know how to tell Harvey what was wrong. His eyes began to water a little as he looked Harvey in the eye and then at the wall.
Harvey's stomach dropped when he saw the tears in Mike's eyes. Something was wrong and it was bad.
"I had an appointment at the hospital today." began Mike pausing for a second. "I haven't been feeling good for a few weeks."
Harvey nodded. "And?"
Mike knew there was no easy way to say it. "I have cancer." He blurted out. He was on the verge of tears at this stage. It was the first time he'd said it out loud and he still couldn't believe it himself.
"What?" asked Harvey in disbelief. His face looked slightly more pale than usual, his voice less confident.
"Leukemia." said Mike quietly, a single tear escaped from his right eye and cascaded down his cheek.
Harvey just shook his head. For once the great Harvey Specter was speechless. He came closer to Mike and gently squeezed his shoulder. They remained in silence for a few moments before Harvey straightened up and brushed down his suit.
"You've got this Mike. You'll get through it." his voice was calm and confident but it was obvious it was masking underlying shock. "What's the outlook?"
"Apparently a lot of patients can live years in remission with it." explained Mike. "I start chemotherapy next week."
"What day?" asked Harvey taking out his phone.
"I think she said Tuesday." Mike replied looking at Harvey.
"Okay I'll put it in my calendar." said Harvey typing on his phone in his hand.
"Why?" questioned Mike confused.
"Because I'm coming with you." Harvey looked at Mike. He cared about Mike and as little as he chose to show it he would be there for him. He didn't have anyone else and he couldn't let him go through this alone.
"Harvey, please you-" Mike began to protest but was interrupted.
"I'll be there, end of."