~What Am I Feeling?~
~Chapter 12- The Heart Aches~
It was later that day and the carriages would soon be arriving to pick the Hogwarts students up from Hogsmeade and bring them back to the castle. Scorpius and Chris decided to head back to the carts after sitting in the Three Broomsticks for most of the afternoon, chatting.
Scorpius had a good day with Chris and had got to know the boy much better. It was nice to spend time with someone other than Albus and start to form a bond with someone else. Of course he loved his and Albus' friendship and loved Albus himself, but he understood why Albus made other friends too. It was nice to be around other people and explore the nature of other's personalities.
Though, what had been a bit of a distraction was that Albus and Danielle had also remained in the Three Broomsticks for the rest of the day too. Albus had kept a watchful eye on Scorpius and Chris as they shared more chaste kisses and soft touches. Scorpius couldn't help but always look for Albus' reaction, challenging the jealous streak. When Scorpius' eye would meet the Potter's, Albus would join in the game and kiss Danielle's cheek or even her lips, much longer and passionate then him and Chris.
This unspoken of battle that had started in the Three Broomsticks was addictive. Both friends felt this burning desire to make the other jealous and each of them were succeeding. They were both exhilarated the whole time, fleeting glances exchanged as well as long glares when their partner wasn't looking.
Scorpius was quick to question it. What was this between him and Albus? Neither of them had ever felt any sort of tension between them, their relationship had always been as easy as breathing… but this? Scorpius couldn't explain it. It just hardly made sense to him.
Chris' fingers were tightly intertwined with his as they strolled along, their arms swinging slightly. They spoke of nothing important, yet the smiles didn't leave their faces once.
"Malfoy!"
Scorpius' head swivelled around, though he didn't let go of Chris' hand. Chris' eyes followed and much to Scorpius' dismay, standing there was James Potter.
Scorpius scrunched his eyes together and spat out, "What do you want, James?"
"I see that now Albus has a girlfriend, you've been quick to move onto someone else." James smirked, stepping closer to the couple.
"I'm happy for Albus." Scorpius said firmly, glaring at the older boy.
"You don't have to lie to me," James sneered, his eyes narrowing into slits, "I know you're just a slut; Albus doesn't want you so you've moved onto someone else," He turned to Chris, "I would run now if I were you."
"I think you should be quiet now, Potter." Chris said defensively, standing slightly in front of Scorpius in a protective stance.
"Got you wrapped around his little finger, hasn't he?" James moved forward so he was pressed close to the other two in an intimidating way, "You're just a disgusting little fag, aren't you?"
That hurt. That hurt a lot. Scorpius didn't think people were against homosexuality… surely James wasn't homophobic or anything. He was just being spiteful towards Scorpius. He would do anything to get under Scorpius' skin, and it was working. It was making Scorpius feel really self-conscious, really uncomfortable with who he was.
"You leave him alone!" Chris shoved James out of the way a little, giving him a warning look, "You don't know him."
"Oh, I do know him actually. Why isn't the dirty little slag speaking up for himself!"
The thing with James was, even though most of the things he said was total rubbish, there were some things he was right about. No, Scorpius wasn't a slut or a slag or anything like that. But, he knew Scorpius was gay. He had been calling him fag for months now and it turned out he was right that Scorpius liked boys… he just wished he wouldn't use words such as 'fag'. Only now that Scorpius knew he was gay, did he realise quite how offensive and hurtful it was.
James always caused him so much pain. Scorpius thought that maybe James would change if he endured some of the unnecessary cuts and bruises he had inflicted on Scorpius. Scorpius wondered if someone did the same to him, he would feel differently about treating Scorpius that way. Scorpius scolded himself for thinking that he would want James in pain; even though James treated him awfully.
Suddenly, James' face contorted with pain, so close in front of them. His eyes started to glisten with tears when he dropped to his knees, releasing a startling screech of agony.
Both Scorpius and Chris watched, confused and not knowing what to. They stilled as James sunk deeper into the ground, yelling out and tugging his dark brown locks in pain.
Scorpius shook his head, eyes wide in fear as he wished all thoughts of James pain away. The cries of pain stopped at least, though James remained on the floor panting wildly.
Chris stepped forward at last, bending down next to the Seventh year. His face was painted with concern, completely confused by what had just happened to James, but put a hand on the other's shoulder.
"Hey… what happened?" Chris asked softly, shaking James in a gentle way, "Are you okay?"
James finally looked up, tears falling from his eyes as he quickly wiped them away with a sleeve, "Pain. Suddenly just… pain…" Scorpius' breath hitched as James said that. It couldn't be just a mere coincidence that James had abruptly felt pain when Scorpius was thinking of it. No, Scorpius knew that was more than chance. It was most likely something to do with his power. What else would have caused James such pain randomly like that? James' head hastily turned to Scorpius, scowling at the Malfoy boy, "You! What've you done to me? You evil little prick! What did you do to me?"
Scorpius opened his mouth, his hands shaking and breath quickening. Panic over washed him as James' accusing glare landed on him. Yet again, James had unknowingly hit the nail on the head.
Terrified at his own actions and the possibility of James finding a way to blame him, Scorpius quickly turned on his foot and ran towards the place where the carts were parked. Tears ran down his cheeks as he repeated to himself over and over what have I done? What have I done?
Chris heard yells of his own name after a moment but he continued to sprint down the path, passing some students who were heading back to the carriages themselves.
Scorpius was unexpectedly yanked back by his arm, making his gasp aloud. He landed in firm arms, his face pressed up against a strong chest and he was held in a intense embrace.
Scorpius managed to peek up, cries still choking through his throat and he relaxed as soon as he realised it was Chris. Scorpius threw his arms around Chris and sobbed into the older boy's torso.
Chris was utterly baffled. He had no idea what was going on between Scorpius and James, nor what had just happened to James either. He knew James was Albus' brother so Scorpius and him were bound to have a connection but that still did not give any explanation as to what had just happened.
He shushed Scorpius' cries, holding the boy closer to him. His lips brushed against the messy locks on Scorpius' head, feeling the need to kiss Scorpius' temple or just somewhere. He didn't like seeing Scorpius this way. It hurt him. Seeing the boy so vulnerable… he hated it.
"Scorpius… Scorpius? What happened back there?" Chris whispered, his lips finally fulfilling their desire and kissing Scorpius' forehead, "Please, tell me."
With one last sob Scorpius exclaimed, "It's my power! I think it's my power!"
"Your power?" Chris breathed, pulling Scorpius back to look in his eyes deeply, "What power?"
Scorpius realised what he had just blurted out. He needed to learn to stop crying things out uncalled for. Whenever he was in a state, he seemed to just admit things, secrets he didn't tell other people, maybe Albus.
He knew he couldn't just leave this now; Chris wanted answers and he would end up getting them in the end. He nervously explained the essence of his power to Chris, talking briefly about how he dealt with the power when he was younger and the necklace. Chris wasn't one to go blabbing, he had already proven that to Scorpius by keeping his sexuality quiet, even if they hadn't been exactly discreet today.
"I-I think that was something to do with my power. I d-don't know, I felt weird," Scorpius spoke quickly and in pants, his eyes casting side to side and not staying for more than half a second in one place, "I just don't know. I was thinking about… if he was in pain, then that happened! It h-had to be connected!" Scorpius flared his arms, "It just had t-"
Chris grabbed Scorpius' moving arms by his wrists and Scorpius at last kept his eyes fixed on Chris' face, "Hey, listen. You don't know that it's connected. It might not have been. I could have been something else."
"You hate me now, don't you?" Scorpius mumbled, lowering his head again, "I'm strange. I-I could hurt you."
Chris chuckled, dropping his forehead on Scorpius'. They both ignored the looks of other Hogwarts pupils heading back to the carriages and Chris nuzzled his nose into the Ravenclaw's, "I couldn't hate you. I mean… it came as a shock to me, this power. But I like you Scorpius. I know you wouldn't use this… new thing against anyone, you're too sweet for that. I'm not completely comfortable at the possibility that you could just take that necklace off and feel everything I'm feeling but I can used to it. I can look past it."
Scorpius smiled faintly, his tear stained cheeks reddening, "Thank you… you're too nice, Chris."
~X~
When Scorpius headed back up to the dorm, it had sunk in that he had told Chris about his power. His power that he had kept hidden for so long, only told his closest friend of and he had told someone who he had only met properly two days ago and gone on a date with once. Saying that, he had only told Albus about his ability on the first day they met.
And this new thing? He had caused James pain by just wishing it? The power to inflict emotions on another just by thought? It was something extraordinary Scorpius realised, if it were true. But Scorpius just wished it wasn't he who was burdened with all these unusual powers.
As he entered his dorm, he was immediately graced with the sight of Albus, sitting on his bed, looking as if he were waiting for someone. Scorpius guessed it was him.
Scorpius gradually stepped into the room, closing the door behind him and offering his friend a small smile. Al returned the smile automatically and Scorpius' heart warmed a little at that.
When Scorpius slowly shuffled closer to Albus, the brown haired boy instantly noticed Scorpius' red eyes. He felt his heart panic. He hated it when Scorpius was crying. It always made him cry too.
He rushed forward, Scorpius squeaking as Albus engulfed him in a tight but loving embrace. He heard Albus' unsteady breath in his ear, making him shiver a bit but what his mind was focused on was why Albus was hugging him.
"What happened? Why were you crying?" Albus showered Scor with questions, leaning his head again the blond mop of hair.
"H-how did you know?" Scorpius shook his head into Albus' shoulder, burying his nose into the fabric.
"Your eyes are red, Scor. I wouldn't fail to notice something like that. Did that guy- did Chris do something to you?"
"N-no! Nothing like that!" Albus opened his mouth to speak but Scorpius interrupted him, "I need to tell you something."
Albus listened in pure shock as Scorpius explained what happened with James that afternoon, skipping the details about him and Chris. He muttered into Albus' shoulder most of the time, worried about what his friend would think of him hurting his brother like that.
"Scor… is this the first time anything like that has happened? You haven't done this before?" Albus said cautiously, ignoring the detail about James. For whatever reason Scorpius did it, Albus was sure it was justified and James deserved it.
Scor pushed away from Al straight away, pursing his lips, "You think I've used it before. You think I might have somehow controlled your feelings!"
Albus grabbed Scorpius face to make him look at him properly, "I didn't think that Scor! I know you would never use your power against anyone! I know that! I trust you more than anyone."
Scorpius' eyes longed on Albus' and he knew Al was telling the truth. Their intense gaze and embrace was enough to show Scor that, "Yeah."
"I just meant have you ever been aware of doing this before."
"No… not than I can think of."
"Look… I think for now you need to forget it and relax," Albus reached up, caressing Scorpius' blonde locks, "There's so much happening right now."
"You mean… Chris…" Scorpius whispered with a small whimper.
"Come here…"
Albus led Scorpius over to the bed, grasping onto his best friend's hand delicately. Scorpius watched their hands and valued how beautifully their hands fit together. Chris' hands were too big and although he was gentle with Scorpius, the blonde was worried his fingers would crush him for some reason. But compared to Chris', his hand in Albus' was absolutely perfect.
Scorpius sat down on the bed, hugging his knees to his chest. Albus sat next to Scorpius, wrapping his arms around the other boy and letting Scorpius' head fall onto his shoulder.
"Are you… do you like-" Albus took a deep breath and turned his face to rest his forehead on Scorpius' temple, "Are you gay?"
Scorpius' heart beat quickened and he closed his eyes. What would Albus think? Would he hate him? Would he accept it? Would he suddenly feel uncomfortable around him? Would things… not be the same again? "Y-yeah… I'm sorry I didn't tell you…"
"W-why didn't you tell me though?" Albus said, hurt laced in his voice, "I'm your best friend. At least I thought I was… and you told Chris?"
"Al, you are my best friend and always will be," Scorpius softly said, stretching out to grasp Albus' other hand as well, "Chris found out by accident… and then, I don't know, he asked me out and… I was curious. I just wanted to know whether I did like guys or not… then I realised he was actually really nice."
"And… you like him?" Albus croaked. It wasn't the fact that Scorpius was gay that was bothering him… of course not, he had his suspicions when he realised Scorpius was never interested in girls. But… was it the fact Scorpius was with someone? Not even with someone, dating someone? He hated seeing him with Chris today, hated it. When he saw them kissing… Albus didn't want to admit to himself that he felt his heart break just a little.
"I-I think so…" Scorpius sighed, "I don't know."
"Have you told anyone else?"
"Um. I told Louis… I went to talk to him about… you know?" Albus nodded in understanding and Scorpius continued, "He kind of helped me realise… I'm sorry that I didn't tell you Al."
"Did you think… I wouldn't like it or something? I would be uncomfortable?"
"I don't know. I didn't think I was ready to tell anyone at all. But then Chris came along…"
"You really like him?"
Scorpius stared off into space, not knowing the answer to the question. Then the looks Albus was giving him while he was kissing Chris and their little battle of envy. At that thought, Scorpius blurted out, "Yes. I like him."
Albus exhaled quietly, breathing into Scorpius' hair. Scorpius' eyes fluttered closed, savouring the feeling of Albus' hot breath against his skin. Albus squeezed the younger boy tighter unconsciously, almost possessively.
"If he breaks your heart… I'll be right here to give him a piece of my mind." A weak smile overcame Albus.
Scorpius chuckled, "I'm not a girl. You don't have to be so protective; I can look after myself."
"I'll believe when I see it!" Albus snickered, biting the inside of his cheek.
Scorpius nudged Albus sternly in the stomach, "Idiot."
~X~
A/N: So I actually managed to update this really quickly which I wasn't expecting! I guess it wasn't the longest chapter, in this story which might have something to do with it. Not sure when I'll get to do the next one, I'll take each chapter as it comes and stuff.
So, I'm not sure whether to be disappointed with this chapter... I don't know, I'm just not completely happy with it but I guess really it's all your opinions which really matter.
Another appearance from James there. Unfortunately or fortunately, he won't be in the story properly for a while now but there will still be a lot of drama. Especially with this new aspect to Scor's power... it shall be interesting how the boys deal with it.
Some of you said you were getting quite fond of Chris. I am too! I've planned a bit ahead now and obviously the inevitable end is that Al and Scor will end up together, but I'm going to add some stuff in to make sure Chris will end up happy too :D
So, thank you to lordsteinman, Lizzy0308, AFLlover, drumline, C8ecat and EKdark for reviewing! Was nice to get so many reviews! Thank you guys!
Next chapter:: Feelings are thrown around, confusion, protectiveness and endless possibilities. With Scorpius' newly discovered power, what will the boys do to explore it?