Once again Thank You for all the lovely Reviews, they have really helped me push this chapter out, when time has not been on my side this week whatsoever.
Due to that, this chapter could probably do with some more editing, however if I don't post tonight, I wont have time for a few more days, so extra apologies for any mistakes hidden away..
So here you go, this is the first chapter where the story really gets going...
Home Is Where The Heart Is
Part One
The silence that met Derek when he let himself into his parent's home felt strange after the past few days of noisy festivities. There were no children of any size coming at a run to meet him, and none of his sisters, or brother in laws voices were raised in greeting as he walked through the house towards the kitchen. Kate, Nancy, and Liz had all decamped with their families back to their own homes yesterday, leaving only Amelia which Derek wasn't too proud to admit was a relief.
Lizzie had surprisingly guessed his intention to follow Meredith, however he had no desire to try, and explain his move across the country to either Kate or Nancy. Although Lizzie had accepted it with barely a blink, and he was sure Amelia would follow suit, he knew their reactions would be the exception to the rule. From his older sisters there would be question after question, demands for explanations that he would never be successfully able to meet.
Neither Kate, or Nancy would be able to leave the subject alone until they got the truth out of him, however unwilling he may be to give it. The only way he would be able to keep to what he had agreed with Meredith would be to fall back on what he had used countless times over the past two years when they had pried, and that would be to just simply leave. However, the fact his sisters were such known quantities made it easier to plan ahead, whether it was with what to say, or how to escape from their interrogation.
The reaction he was most uncertain of, would come from the two people whose opinions mattered the most to him. There was not a doubt in his mind that his father had talked with his mother about him, and Meredith, and he wasn't sure what their reaction would be now Meredith had left. If he was confident of one thing it was that his father was the one to thank for his mother's silence so far on the subject, but with Meredith's departure yesterday he could only assume that particular ceasefire was over.
Yesterday, he had been in surgeries pretty much back to back till the early hours of this morning which meant he had missed Meredith's leaving all together. He had planned to follow her to the airport, and see her off away from the prying eyes of his family. Instead, he had emerged from his final surgery to see a simple text explaining she would call tomorrow. Now tomorrow was today, and he had been scared to let his phone out of his sight in case he missed her call.
He hated the waiting, it reminded him far too much of the previous time she had left him with no goodbye, and had gotten on a plane to Seattle. The same feeling of having no control, knowing everything that mattered, your very future was in someone else's hands. He had to constantly remind himself that this time was different, Meredith was letting him in, she was talking, where as before he had been shut out of her life long before her feet had touched ground in Seattle.
"Hello son, this is a pleasant surprise."
Derek had only just stepped across the threshold of the kitchen when his father came through the back door.
"Hey Dad, is Mom not around?"
"She's just taking some leftovers to Mr Webb over the road, she'll be back presently. Are you in a rush?"
"No rush, I'm not due in till one. Is Amy about?"
"She's gone to Liz, and Rob's. I think they both got a bit too used to having Meredith home again. Amelia actually moaned the house was too quiet last night!"
Derek took a seat at the table, and watched as his father poured coffee in to three cups before bringing two over, and taking the chair opposite him.
"Something on your mind son?"
"The night of Meredith's welcome home dinner you told me I needed to give her something to believe in, to show her I was serious, that this wasn't just more empty words…."
"I remember,"
"Well I came over today because I wanted to tell you that I…"
Derek trailed off as he realised just how hard this was going to be. The furtherest he had ever been away from his parents was his time at Bowdoin, a car ride away where as this was the other side of the country. There would be no more just popping by like this, no Saturday night family dinners, or with little planning going off for a weekend away fishing with his father. All of a sudden he understood much more clearly what exactly Meredith had been driven to give up because of him, and he felt a sharp lump form in the back of his throat.
"Derek..." Michael prompted with a dawning realisation of what it was his son was finding so hard to tell him.
"I've decided I'm going to go to Seattle."
Derek forced the words out in a rush, before taking a deep breath.
"I spoke with Richard Webber the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace a few days ago, and he is only too happy to offer me a position there. His head of department is set to retire, and the jobs mine if I want it… It gives me time to get to know the lay of the land first, rather than coming in, and stepping on toes..."
"But this isn't about the job is it?"
Michael refused to allow the grief that was currently setting like lead in his stomach to come through into his voice. The thought of now not only having one child thousands of miles away, but two was more painful than he could ever want Derek, or Meredith to know. He had always wanted his children to feel free to live their own lives, yet Meredith's leaving had proven the reality of that was very different to the theory. It didn't matter how many times him, and Carolyn flew out to visit, or Meredith called, he still felt her absence from their lives everyday.
"No…"
Derek half smiled as he stared down at the table top, his thumb tracing the worn wood before he looked up to meet the eyes of his father.
"I love her."
"I know you do, and I know she loves you too. How does she feel about this?"Michael asked unable to believe that knowing his son as well as he did that he had never expected this to be the outcome.
"Well she thought it was ridiculous when I first told her, but she was drunk. Now she's sober I'm sure she still thinks it is, but she's willing to give me, well to give us a chance. She wants to take it slow, and I'll give her all the time she needs."
"I'm happy for you, I'm happy for the both of you."
If there was upside to having his son so far away, it was that he would be with Meredith. They would be together, and Michael would know there was someone there who really knew her, loved her, and would protect her just as he would. He had liked her friends the instant he met them, and Lexie he had known for years, but he often worried how much his daughter let them know her.
He had sensed the loneliness, and hurt Meredith had been so determined to hide on his first visit out to Seattle, it was what had driven him to suspect there had been the more than the usual falling out between his two children. It was that particular memory that sent Michael on another path of worry, and as he looked at his son sat across the table from him, he wondered how much his son was prepared for what would lay ahead of them.
"But..?" Derek prompted, unable to ignore the concern clouding the older man's face.
"I don't want to pry, or for you to feel as if you need my permission because you don't. However, for my own peace of mind I have to make sure your not doing this without thinking of what comes after, not just for you, but for Meredith too."
Michael said, feeling torn between wanting them to be happy, and worrying Meredith was about to open herself up again, only to find herself broken hearted. The girls had teased him for years that Meredith was his favourite. Michael had always denied it because he did love them all the same, but Meredith held a special place in his heart that was hard to explain.
From the moment Michael had first met her clinging onto the hand of Lizzie, seemingly bewildered by the chaos of the family, she had brought forward in him an undeniable urge to protect her, and save her from the obvious neglect she seemed to think was normal. Up until Ellis's death they had had no rights, or say over how Ellis parented, they could only try their best to counteract the harm being done on a daily basis.
It had seemed to be working, until the combination of Ellis's death, and the reappearance of Thatcher opened old wounds, at the same time as causing new ones, doing damage to all the work they had done to convince Meredith she was both worthy and deserving of love. It had taken years for Meredith to trust them, and to accept their love once more, and when she had left for Seattle Michael had felt as if they were losing her all over again. Thankfully that hadn't been so, but he couldn't shake the idea that if this didn't work, they would lose her forever this time.
"I've thought about it all Dad,"
"Are you sure? As much as you are about to change your life, Meredith will have to do the same, if not more. She has a whole new life there, a life she felt she had to build because of what happened between you before."
"Dad I know…"
"Do you? Her friends, and Lexie have become a second family, and you are going to have to accept those people, and their place in her life. It won't be just you, and Meredith like it has been here, like it has been pretty much your whole lives up until she left."
Michael hated doing this, but he felt he owed it to them both, he had to make sure his son was ready for what was ahead.
"Two years has passed, you have both changed, and she has been in a relationship with another man, who loves her, and works in the same hospital as you will. This wont be a case of you going there, and everything being okay, it will be hard."
"Are you trying to put me off?"
"No, son no. I just need to make sure this is truly what you want, and your prepared to let Meredith set the pace. I would hate to see you break my little girls heart again, or for you to get yours broken in the process, because it seems too much."
"I won't hurt her..."
Derek stared in to his father's face until Michael nodded.
"I have thought about it all. This isn't a grand gesture done on a whim because I thought she might have moved on. I'm well aware of what I'm asking from her, and I know it's going to take time.. I have a lot to make up for, but this is just what I should have done two years ago..."
"I'm trusting you with her Derek, don't make the same mistake twice, and let her down."
Derek didn't have chance to answer as his mother came in, her whole face lighting up to see him sat there before slowly a knowing look came into the large brown eyes.
"Hello dear I wasn't expecting to see you today,"
"Well I don't have anything scheduled till later so I thought I'd stop by,"
As he spoke Derek got up from the table, crossing the room to kiss her cheek.
"And you wanted to tell us without your sisters here that you're following Meredith out to Seattle."
"God what is it with the women of this family… Do you have some superpower I don't know about?"
"No super power, but I know you. I know you have been a different person for the past few years."
Carolyn raised a hand up and pressed it to his cheek, her thumb stroking softly the face that was the perfect copy of the only man she had ever loved.
"I realise now it's because this stopped being home the moment Meredith left."
"Ma… "
"Tell me I'm wrong?"
Derek sighed with a sad smile.
"I can't…"
"That's what I thought. Now go sit down, finish your coffee."
Derek returned to his seat, and watched his mother join his father, her hand immediately seeking his on top of the table.
"I know Dad must have told you. I'm sorry if your disappointed in me, but don't blame Mer. I pursued her, I pushed for more… I caused all of this." Derek said his voice heavy with sincerity, but Carolyn only shook her head.
"I don't blame either of you. We all knew how unhappy you were, I just wish you had chosen a different way or handled it better so it didn't end the way it did."
"I'm sorry Ma."
"You don't have to apologise to me, or anyone. I think both of you have punished yourselves, and each other enough now."
For a moment Carolyn simply stared at him before sitting up straighter, and unlike the more surprising behaviour of his father, Derek had some idea of what was coming next.
"That girl of mine certainly has. Now, if I'm going to be mad about anything it's that you let this go on for so long. What were you thinking?"
"I wasn't…"
"Well that's clear. If you hurt that girl again Derek Christopher Shepherd I will forget you are my son, and I will hunt you down. Do you understand me?"
"Yes Ma…"
"What's funny? If you imagine I am joking then my boy let me tell you..."
"No. No. It's not that. I'm just not even meant to be talking about this. Mer doesn't want anyone to know… Lizzie guessed without me saying a word, and she has no idea you two know."
Carolyn glanced at her husband, and though he was fighting to keep a smile from his face she could see the far deeper emotions in his eyes. She understood what path Derek's announcement had lead him down, and could easily imagine the talk that had taken place before she had arrived. She squeezed the hand holding hers, and turned back to their son.
"We won't tell her."
"You can't Ma, she compared it to a pack of wolves, and its not hard to see why..."
At Derek's words Michael's face finally split into a grin, a deep chuckle following, amusement easing the lines around his face.
"Well that isn't too far off from the truth."
Ignoring them Carolyn centred her whole attention on Derek again.
When do you leave…?"
"As soon as possible… I have no more surgeries scheduled after this one today. I have holidays banked so I've t… …"
Derek suddenly realised he had no reason to stay, there was always cover to be found, and he could deal with everything else easily enough over email, and phone. There wasn't much he needed from his apartment, and he could always arrange for it to be packed, and shipped to him. He grabbed his cell phone from his pocket, and within moments was searching through flight details, until he stopped at the first flight for tomorrow morning.
"Derek?"
"I leave in the morning."
"Well, can you stay for some early lunch?" Carolyn asked trying to act casual despite the despair she could feel building.
"Of course I can."
Derek was suddenly enveloped in his mothers arms from behind, he reached up to hold her there as she pressed her cheek to his.
"I love you, and I will miss you every day… but go, make each other ridiculously happy, I would like some more grand babies to fuss over."
"Ma!" His outrage was countered by his fathers much louder laugh, and when his mothers voice dropped to a whisper, Derek had to strain to hear her.
"Whatever your father said, it's because of how much he loves you both."
"I know." Derek breathed as he turned his head to kiss her cheek.
The shift had barely started, and already Meredith could feel her body protesting, letting her know it needed more than a constant influx of coffee to keep it running. What she needed was to sleep. It had evaded her once again last night, now back in her own bed, and instead of sitting at Carolyn's kitchen table at four am this morning Meredith had given up, and came in early to work. She had hoped there would be something interesting to distract her, however there were few elective surgeries scheduled, and the most exciting thing she had seen in the Pit was an inflamed gall bladder. The only benefit she had found so far to coming in early was that she had avoided her friends, and all the questions that would come about New York.
Meredith didn't know how to explain about New York, about Josh, or how in a few day's Derek would be here in Seattle, for her. The draw of Seattle had always been that there were no memories lurking round every corner, and now all that was about to change, and the same fear she had felt Christmas morning seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her chest. The only person she thought would understand was Cristina, but Cristina had succeeded where Meredith had failed, and was in surgery. With a deep breath she forced herself to focus on her patients chart, and trying to decipher her interns handwriting.
"Hey your back,"
Meredith looked up to see her half-sister, and for the first time that morning felt a natural smile appear. Though they had never discussed it, Meredith was aware her sudden move from the East Coast was why a year later Lexie had opted to join the surgical program here, rather than the one at Mass Gen as had been planned.
"I am. How was Christmas?"
"Molly and Laura came over so that was good. Mom cooked enough to feed an army... Which is why you have a fridge full of leftovers, Alex lent me his key yesterday, Mom insisted."
"Well tell her I said thanks, though if Alex has been home since I'm not sure how much will be left for me to eat."
"You haven't been home?"
"I have, but no further than the stairs, and my bedroom. Why is it some kind of disaster zone?"
There had been no sign of either of her room-mates last night, and not since Izzie, and George had first moved in had she been so glad to have the house to herself. When George had moved out late last year, Alex had took over the spare room, yet more often than not she felt as if she had four room-mates instead of two with both George, and Cristina crashing there.
"Everything was fine. Was it good to go back? I bet everyone was glad to see you."
It was all said in complete innocence, but Meredith blanched a little at the subject change. Lexie had known Derek, during her time at Harvard, she had visited the Shepherd's home often, fitting in well with the whole family. Meredith also knew it wouldn't be long after Derek arrived that Lexie would be able to put the pieces together. With that in mind she tried to keep her answer from straying into being about anyone in particular,
"I didn't realise how much I had missed it all till I was there. They've flown out, and we all Skype so you think its the same till you walk through the door, and realise how much you have missed, and how much you have missed everyone, of just being with them in the same room."
"They're your family Mer that's all normal..." Lexie said with a wistful expression Meredith had come to recognise.
"Your my family too Lexie. Just like Cristina, Izzie, George, and Alex."
"I know, it's just Mom was hoping you'd pop in or something..."
"Did you tell her I was on the other side of the country?"
Meredith knew she should have seen this coming, it had been the same last Christmas. It was as if Susan had seen her moving here as a sign that Meredith wanted to improve relations with Thatcher, despite how many times Meredith had tried to tell her otherwise. Thankfully due to her intern schedule last year that had consisted of little more than Susan restocking her fridge, and inviting her over for dinners that Meredith had managed on more than one occasion to escape with a well timed page from Cristina. However, ever since Lexie had started here Susan had decided to up the ante, and use Lexie to try, and bridge the gap between them.
"I did, and that I wasn't sure exactly when you flew back...She still just thinks if you, and Dad can talk then maybe…"
"He'll stop being the man who used to pour my cereal? Michael's my Dad Lexie, that won't change no matter how many dinners I am forced to sit through."
"I know, I know, just don't shoot the messenger okay?"
"I'll try not too…"
"So you haven't mentioned Josh, did it go badly…?"
"No... Everyone liked Josh, everyone always likes Josh, he's a good guy..."
"Everyone except Cristina."
"Well yeah, but its not that she doesn't like him, she just..."
"Finds him annoying?" Lexie helpfully added, and Meredith grimaced.
The first warning signs of what was to come between Josh, and Cristina had first appeared weeks after Meredith had started sleeping with him, when he had inadvertently had her kicked her off one of his Cardio cases. Ever since it had only grown, but whilst Cristina was openly hostile, Josh went out of his way to try, and appease her which only made it worse. It didn't matter how many times Meredith told him not to, he was genuinely just a decent guy who wanted her friends to like him, and apart from Cristina they did.
"Yeah..."
"I think it's because he's so eager, and perky."
"Perky?"
"Well yeah, I mean compared to you most people look perky."
"I could be perky…" At Lexie's doubtful look Meredith shrugged "Well I would be if this caffeine would kick in."
"So how was Mark's annual Christmas Eve party? Did you see a lot of him, and Derek?"
Meredith narrowed her eyes at her sisters all too innocent tone. She knew Lexie wasn't aiming for anything about Derek, she had never told her sister anything that had happened, then suddenly it clicked.
"No... Alexandria Grey no!"
"What?"
"I know what your doing. You want to know about Mark, if he's seeing anyone? If he asked about you? No!"
"I wasn't. I'm just asking because he was always really nice when I visited, and when he was here a few months ago he was really sweet to me, he said if I could get the time off I should come with you, and he emails sometimes… Mainly to check up on you, he's just seems like a good guy that's all, and you are practically related so I was being kind in asking."
"No you were not! You are an awful liar. I'd like to remind you every time you visited Rob was sweet to you. Jack, and Paul who are genuinely lovely went out of their way to make you feel welcome…"
Meredith dropped the chart onto the desk, and turned so she was facing her sister.
"Derek, Derek who is a good guy, a great guy used to pick you up from the airport, and get tickets for anything he thought would interest you… But you're not asking about them! You are asking about Mark. Mark who I love, despite the fact he is a man-whore, and who will be until he decides he wants to grow up. You, your heart lives in your vagina, Mark is not what you need."
Meredith ranted, finally running out of steam, and watched the utter horror dawn on Lexie's face.
"God Mer that's gross, and so untrue…"
When Meredith raised a sceptical eyebrow in response Lexie sighed
"I only asked how he was?"
"Yeah you did, and you did it with a happily ever after, starry eyed glaze to your eyes, and no I refuse to allow Mark Sloan, and his penis to break my sister!"
"We're talking about penises, and it's not even ten am, looks like someone had fun in New York." Cristina had appeared without either of them noticing, and Meredith instantly corrected her.
"Its not me who wants to have the fun, its Lexie… Lexie likes Mark."
"Mark Sloan? The one who hit on Izzie, and me? No, you can't like McSteamy your heart lives in your vagina..."
"I said that." Meredith proclaimed with a look of triumph, that only caused Lexie to scowl.
"I hate you both,"
"Three whilst your hating us can you go keep an eye on Mr Peters, I want hourly updates."
"Three, again Cristina?"
Meredith protested, drawing back to a dispute they had been having ever since Lexie's first day, when Meredith had realised her sister was addressed as a number by her best friend, and Lexie's resident.
"I can't be seen to show favouritism Mer." Cristina shrugged in indifference, and Lexie smiled as Meredith shrugged apologetically.
"It's fine, we're at work that's the deal. I'll see you later."
"So you didn't have fun in New York? You were very quiet, I expected at least one panicked phone call, or a plea for me to call and save you."
Before Meredith could form a sentence to begin to explain to her best friend they were interrupted.
"Hey Mer your back. How was New York? How was Josh, did everyone love him?"
Izzie gave her a one armed hug, and Meredith nodded opening the chart again looking for an escape.
"It was good…"
"So Josh and the Shepherds hit it off?"
"They did. Everyone loved everyone,"
"That's great! God I loved Carolyn, and Michael. Michael is like the hot dad in High School everyone has a crush on..."
"Iz that's..." Meredith tried to interrupt, but Izzie paid her no attention as she took a seat at the desk.
"You know who I wouldn't mind meeting, the son. Not Mark, the one Carolyn showed me the photos off. Hot!"
"Is he as hot in real life Mer?" There was an amused gleam in Cristina's eyes, and not for the first time Meredith regretted spilling her whole history with Derek in a drunken game of whose life sucks the most.
"He is, and has great hair. I have an attending to find so I will see you guys at lunch..." Meredith made it to the elevator, she could feel Cristina following her and wasn't surprised when a hand grabbed her arm, and pulled her into the stairwell.
"Okay what have you done?"
"I haven't done anything."
"Then why do you look like that?"
"Like what?"
"That."
"Derek..."
"You did Derek...Seriously? So you did have fun in New York, just not with the boyfriend."
"No I didn't do Derek! Derek told me he loves me,"
"McMarried loves you..."
"He's divorced."
"Okay, well that still doesn't explain why you look like that."
"I look like this because he's moving to Seattle, and I might have agreed to give us another chance, actually I did agree."
Cristina's response was a peal of laughter
"Stop it."
"Does Josh know? Did you even mention the history between you two? Oh… He knows nothing, and now Derek is what coming here, and you and Josh are what…?"
"Derek only told me about Seattle Christmas Eve, and I never said I would tell Josh anything. I didn't think he needed to know…I'm a terrible person aren't I?."
"A terrible girlfriend maybe…"
"Ex… I was going to break up with him Friday, but I couldn't."
"Because it was Christmas Day?"
"No, because I'm a chicken."
"So you left Seattle with one boyfriend, and came back with two? Just when I start to think your boring, you rise!"
"I am a terrible person."
"Your not, but you are definitely a terrible girlfriend."
"Thank you for being so supportive,"
"Your welcome."
Meredith scowled at her best friend just as she caught sight of Dr Nelson who's service she was on through the small window in the door.
"I have to go. If you go down in the Pit can you keep an eye on my interns?"
"It depends, will you moan at me when I number them?"
"Do as you please, just don't let them kill anyone." Meredith called back as she hurried after her attending.
She had hoped for him to have some surgery, or interesting case instead he had said apart from keeping an eye on his post op patients she wasn't needed. It was as she watched the older man wander off that Meredith realised in a few days it would be Derek here as an attending. Rather than allowing her mind to wonder, and worry over the complications his position would bring to them Meredith reached for her cell phone. There was no need to search through her contacts, his number came to her as easily as the last time she had called his phone when she had still lived in New York. It rang only twice before his familiar voice was there in her ear.
"I miss you."
Derek sighed as he lent back against the scrub room sink, glad she had rang now rather than a matter of minutes later when his cell phone would be in the possession of a scrub nurse.
"You saw me two days ago." Meredith felt the tiredness and boredom from minutes before disappear with the simple sound of his voice.
"It feels longer. How is your morning going?"
"You really want to know?"
"Yes,"
It was one of the things he had missed during their time apart. All the news of her had been passed on by his father, and Mark, but neither of them had thought to include the little details they took for granted, tiny things which made you feel an actual part of someone's life.
"Well my interns are idiots, and it's really slow today so there is no escape from them, or their awful charting. Lexie has a weird thing for Mark, Izzie my room mate today told me she thinks Dad is hot, and oh she wants to meet you..."
"You told her about us?"
"No she doesn't want to meet my Derek she wants to meet the Shepherd son, because you look like Dad who she thinks is hot!"
"I'm your Derek..."
"Seriously that's what your choosing to focus on, a slip of the tongue rather than the bit about my hot blonde room mate having a thing for Shepherd men."
"Right sorry. I think Dad is past the age of being interested in hot blondes, and I only have eyes for one hot blonde, so no Shepherd men for her, unless you think she would like one of the cousins, I heard Greg is single..." Derek smiled in satisfaction when he heard the giggle he adored come over the line.
"Greg? Greg is what twelve..."
"Nineteen Mer."
"Well he looks twelve, I'll ask Mom for some more family photos, give Iz more of a choice."
"Talking of Mom, I've just come from there."
For a brief moment Derek was tempted to tell her just how much his parents knew, before he decided the less pressure she felt the better. Plus he didn't want anything further to make her relationship with them more difficult. He knew ultimately that was one of his fathers concerns, that if this went wrong they would lose the girl they both loved so much.
"And…?"
"It's okay. I stayed for a goodbye lunch, and promised I would call home twice a week, and that I would be back for Easter to visit."
"A goodbye lunch?"
"Ah… I have pushed things up by a few days, my flights tomorrow morning, so I'll be with you by noon."
Static was the only reply, and Derek pulled the phone from his ear to check they were still connected.
"Mer are you freaking out? If you need more time I can change it..."
"Yes…."
"Oh okay…"
"No I mean yes to the freak out! Tomorrow is fine right. Its just a step, you'll be here tomorrow…"
"Meredith if your not ready..." Derek could hear Michaels words from earlier repeating in his head, and he wondered if he was maybe asking too much too soon.
"I want you here Derek, I do."
"Okay, one step at a time. Now what was that about Lexie and Mark?"
"He emails her, did you know?"
"No, I had no idea. About what?"
"She said mostly me… Derek if Mark lays one finger on my sister I will cut off his little Sloan."
"Would you like me to pass that message on?"
"Yes! Lexie is, she's not me Derek… You've met her, she's like the me if I had grown up normally, and she is not like your sisters who know Mark..."
"Stop. I don't want to think about how my sisters know Mark… I will pass your message on. Personally I like the you that you are, I wouldn't want you any other way,"
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
"Thank you. You know you can't say that stuff around Cristina right?"
"Your best friend? The one Mark is scared of?"
"Yeah. She knows about you, about before, and well now, but if you talk like that she'll mock you, and you'll end up with some awful nickname."
"Does Josh have one?"
"No… They don't really get along, well he tries, but Cristina is Cristina. Mark does."
"Tell me?"
"McSteamy."
Derek let out a huff of laughter.
"I bet he loves that."
A tap at the scrub room window caused Derek to remember where he was, and with a sigh he nodded at his resident.
"I have to go, my patient and a whole O.R is waiting. So tomorrow I'll see you then."
"Tomorrow." Meredith repeated
"I love you Mer."
"I know. I miss you too by the way."
"Good. And I'll talk to Mark as soon as I see him."
The high of talking to Meredith lasted right up until Derek looked up from the aneurysm he was about to clip, to see Mark stood at the back of his O.R. with a scowl on his face.
"Hey this is a surprise, finally come to see how the professionals do it?"
"Tell me that it's some joke Liz has paid you to carry out to get me back for Christmas Eve, tell me Tanya the nurse has it wrong."
"Pillow talk?"
"Does it matter… Everyone is talking about it, why am I the last to know?"
"You weren't meant to be. Bartlett said it would be kept quiet till I had made a decision..."
"So it's not final?"
"It is. No contract's are signed, but on my side it's done… I suppose he had to put the feelers out for a new Head of Department."
"I don't care about your replacement. I care that your leaving me, that your breaking us up..."
"This is why people get the wrong idea about us. You cant go around talking like that." Derek sighed seeing the smirks pass between his two residents, but with one glare from Mark all amusement vanished.
"I don't get this...Your Bartlett's golden boy, he's pretty much promised you his job once he steps down, and people come from all over the East Coast to consult with you..."
"And Seattle Grace is the second ranking teaching program in the country...The head of the department will be retiring in a few month's so I'll have time to find my feet there, and…"
"So your not even going to be Head there?"
"I don't need to be, not while I find my feet at least… Richard has said there will be no interference from the current one, the guy is fine with me coming out, and taking some of the weight off his shoulders."
"I can't believe this… What does Mer think?"
"She's fine with it…We're working things out, and I just thought I could do with a change of scenery… Seattle has Ferry Boats too you know."
"It doesn't have me!"
The whole room was now watching the scene play out in obvious amusement, but Mark didn't seem to notice or care.
"I thought you'd be happy that I've stopped being an ass, and that I'm making an effort with Meredith."
"I am … But I told you to bring her home, not for you to leave me too."
"Talking of Meredith, what's going on between you and Lexie?"
"Lexie?"
"Her half sister. You email her."
"Oh right Little Grey. Nothing why? Mer never tells me enough, this way I hear everything. Lexie is chatty, must get that from the old man."
"Keep it at nothing or wave Little Sloan goodbye… Mer's threat not mine!"
"Big Sloan..."
Mark's voice was high with outrage, as he stared around at the room full of his colleagues.
"And I don't know what your smirking about...When do you leave? Tanya says its soon..."
"Tomorrow, Seven am flight I'll land in Seattle at ten… Look I have to take care of Mr Paige here, when do you finish?"
"I am finished…"
"Fancy a beer at mine while I pack?"
"Your buying, and I want dinner too." Mark swivelled round, heading for the door, and Derek found himself stopping him.
"I'm sorry you found out that way."
"Yeah, you should be. I'm about to call Nancy!" Mark left the room with a wave of his hand, and Derek turned to the nearest nurse, and advised her to turn off his cell phone.
The next morning Derek stopped at his hotel long enough to grab a shower, and to change his clothes before he had a cab called to take him to the hospital. Last night he had remembered to email Richard with the change of plans, before Mark had started to pour more alcohol than Derek had consumed in years down his throat. Now, with the remainder of the hangover mixing with the nerves settling in his stomach as he stared up at the glass fronted building, Derek thought he might end up copying Mark's example from last night, and throw up the small amount of food he had ate on the plane. The bleep of his cell distracted him from the embarrassing need to find something to throw up in, and ignoring his numerous missed calls, and voicemails Derek read the text message with a slow smile.
Where are you?"
Instead of responding Derek pulled up the email Richard's secretary had sent, and followed the directions to the surgical wing of the hospital, taking in every difference that stood out, setting it apart from the hospital he had left last night. A faintly familiar voice stopped him just as he stepped towards the main nurses station to ask for Meredith to be paged.
"Derek? Derek Shepherd…?"
Derek swung around at the use of his name.
"Oh my god, hi!"
"Lexie, hey."
Derek greeted Meredith's sister as he was drew into an enthusiastic hug. The last time he had seen Lexie was at the party his parents had thrown for Meredith when she had graduated from Dartmouth, weeks before she had moved here. He remembered little from that night. After he had argued with Rebecca, and realised Meredith was set on avoiding him, he had spent the night getting drunk with Mark.
It was the familiar feeling of being watched that had Derek drawing back from Lexie, his gaze drifting over her right shoulder to centre on the one person he had come all this way for. He watched the way the green eyes softened, and her lips lifted in a smile, matching the one he knew was plastered across his own face as she began to close the short distance between them.
"Hey, you made it."
"I did."
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